Savage Lovecast Episode 1008
Summary
This episode delves into the complexities of relationships, starting with a caller whose husband's hurtful comments about her weight have led to a sexless marriage, prompting Dan's frank advice. A harrowing ethical dilemma unfolds as another caller discusses her boyfriend's extreme BDSM play with a vulnerable, self-harming trans woman, raising critical questions about consent and safety. Dan also guides a bisexual woman on navigating her conservative Catholic mother's conditional acceptance. The episode features an insightful interview with intimacy coordinator Yehuda Duenyas, highlighting their crucial role in safe and authentic on-screen sex, alongside lighthearted and serious listener questions about everything from dry mouth during sex to accidental urination during ejaculation.Episode description
When does subbing morph into self-harm? The relationship between a man and his much younger trans woman lover involves intense physical abuse. The girl has a wretched history, and engages in self harm. Although she gives consent, there's also a language barrier that makes everything they do seem out of control and destructive.
A bisexual woman took the plunge and came out to her conservative Catholic mother. Although her mother didn't completely melt down, she has a ways to go before she reaches acceptance. What will it take to move her mother into the light?
Our guest this week is Intimacy Coordinator Yehuda Duenyas. He and Dan talk about what an Intimacy Coordinator does, and whether they should be required on a movie set. How a director's prompt can sometimes be as vague as "They Have Sex" and it's up to the IC to flesh out how that should look to the audience. How portraying scenes of abuse can be wrenching for sensitive male actors. And of course, Dan has Yehuda answer a couple of sex questions too. A little of this conversation is on the Micro and the whole thing is on the Magnum.
Finally, is it possible for a man to both come and pee at the same time...in his girlfriend's mouth? Sadly, this is not a theoretical question.
Ask Dan ANY kind of question.
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
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Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, media darling and creator of the It Gets Better Project. A tireless advocate for ethical conduct within relationships, queer rights, and sexual freedom with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, when we most need it.