A nice bi man just wanted to join a nudist community and hang out with his nudist homies, not wearing any clothes and being naked. He certainly DID NOT want to be ogled or groped by the creepy leader of the group. So now what? Should he try to oust the creep, give up on the group, or return and try to avoid him? A woman learned that her boyfriend has been leading a secret double life. Have you ever led a secret double life? Well! This man's secret double life involves an online dom commanding hi...
Jul 27, 2021•53 min•Ep. 770
Women beware! A new form of negging has emerged. If you followed a hook-up on Instagram, but he didn't follow you back, it could be INSTA-NEGGING. A trans man iplans to do a lot more butt sex once he has bottom surgery. How can he prepare on a daily basis? On the Magnum, is it ever ok to leave your wife when you are in your 70s? Dan and senior sex writer Joan Price disagree... And, a lesbian begs all those straight couples who pour into lesbian bars at closing time looking for women to be in a t...
Jul 20, 2021•57 min•Ep. 769
A bi woman wants to try three-ways with her boyfriend. He enthusiastically agrees. But it's been a while since she's been with a woman, and wants to have a trial run with just her unicorn. Now, he's getting a little nervous... A woman with a 12 year-old son has been toying with the idea of starting an Only Fans account. The problem? Her son might see some of her content. How can she have this very difficult parental conversation? In one of our favorite interviews of all time, Dan brings on lingu...
Jul 13, 2021•58 min•Ep. 768
Dear Emily Post: What am I to do when I encounter my boyfriend in the basement enjoying large amounts of cocaine, in women's attire, with a gentleman we both know very well? A kinky woman already agreed to open up her relationship with her boyfriend. So why did he have to go out and cheat? On the Magnum, a very ethical stripper, bartender and sugar baby has contracted MRSA and worries she is putting others at risk. Not sure what MRSA is? Well, you will know plenty about it after you listen to Da...
Jul 06, 2021•45 min
After a dazzling "sexcess" story, we launch into three tales of dreadful parents. Conservative, manipulative, disrespectful, bigoted parents. If you have this kind of parent, our hearts go out to you. Are you a thoughtful gift giver? This woman is, and she REALLY wishes her boyfriend would reciprocate... On the Magnum: Save the lesbian bars! For they are disappearing. Dan interviews Lea Delaria (from "Orange is the New Black") about the Lesbian Bar Project. Kick in, won't you? https://www.lesbia...
Jun 29, 2021•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 766
A mother in Central America is worried that her son is being a little too risky when he walks home from the beach in women's clothing. When she confronts him about this, he calls her a transphobic, homophobic boomer. Teens! Am I right? A woman is afraid that her boyfriend will cheat on her. And yet, she fantasizes that her boyfriend is cheating on her. How can she preserve her self-esteem while indulging her cuckqueen instincts? On the Magnum, it turns out the ancient Greeks were wrong about cun...
Jun 22, 2021•51 min•Ep. 765
Our opening "Sexcess" story should flood all you postpartum parents with optimism. A married straight couple has an arrangement where she can go outside the relationship, and he remains monogamous to her. All good. But she wants to tell everyone about it, and he wants to keep it under wraps. Who wins? On the Magnum, meet the elite proctologist and anal surgeon, Dr. Evan Goldstein of Bespoke Surgical. He and Dan talk about centering pleasure and beauty in proctology. We loved Dr. Goldstein, and s...
Jun 15, 2021•53 min•Ep. 764
Sometimes the "happy ending" in an erotic massage can go both ways. Our caller enjoyed orally pleasuring his masseuse so much that he wants to continue the relationship outside the parlor. What is the proper etiquette for asking out an erotic massage practitioner? (Sorry LMTs! We know you don't want to hear ANY of this...) A married woman discovered a gif of jiggly boobs with her sister's face superimposed over them. Where did she see this? On her husband's computer of course. So now what? On th...
Jun 08, 2021•53 min•Ep. 763
Dan! Dan! My dildos melted together in the drawer! Horrifically, this is not uncommon if you buy cheap-ass sex toys. A gay man is establishing a potentially great friends-with-benefits relationship. The problem? The guy won't stop sending him stupid little memes all the damn day long. How can our caller put an end to this childish behavior? Over on the Magnum, a Nervous Norman is worried about possible harm that could come to his willy if he got a vasectomy. Reassurance arrives in the form of Dr...
Jun 01, 2021•53 min•Ep. 762
Our opening "sex-cess" story is extra delightful this week, because it centers the "Climbing Boy." Our caller advises you to get yourself one, pronto. Ok, neo-pronouns. Just how ridiculous are they? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Seattle writer Matt Baume about the friendly, pervy world of furries and the super-interesting work they've been doing with virtual reality spaces. And, commenting on a shopgirl's ass- can you get away with it if you're a queer woman? 206-302-2064 This episode is brought...
May 25, 2021•53 min•Ep. 761
Boundaries are hard! For instance, a married couple of 12 years decided to open the relationship. So naturally, she started sleeping with her husband's brother in their own house. Of course. And! If you knocked on the door, and your kid confessed that they were masturbating, would you A) Mutter, "Sorry!" and walk away. B) Walk in and chuckle at the site of their underpants. C) Run screaming from the building. You'll have to listen to learn what this lady did. On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Dr. A...
May 18, 2021•53 min•Ep. 760
My, what a fetish-y show we have for you this week! Genital stretching? Check. Chastity belts? Sure. Piss play? Why not? Gainer/Feeder? Let's go! In a more wholesome turn, Dan welcomes Dr. Debby Herbenick back to the show. The sex educator answers a question about the nature of multiple orgasms for women and the unwelcome phenomenon of sex headaches. And finally, Dan gets into some complex thermodynamics as he explains how to keep your dildo nice and cold. But not too cold. 206-302-2064 voicemai...
May 11, 2021•56 min•Ep. 759
It's a boy! A pregnant woman upon learning the sex of her unborn baby is devastated that she's not getting the daughter she always dreamed of. Can she learn to love...a son? Have you heard the Death, Sex & Money podcast with Anna Sale? Well! Anna joined us to talk about her new book "Let's Talk About Hard Things." She and Dan answered a few calls together, which somehow leads to a discussion about an esoteric BJ technique. Some is on the Micro, all is on the Magnum. A married lesbian found o...
May 04, 2021•55 min•Ep. 758
"Soooo. About my daddy." A gay man has developed a pleasant non-monogamous sugar-baby/sugar-daddy relationship. How can he tell his dates and boyfriends about his very special daddy? A woman has discovered that her boyfriend of 2 years has been seeing cam girls and compulsively giving them money. He isn't interested in sexy pictures of the caller, poor thing. Should she accept this...proclivity... as a healthy sexual outlet? He's back! The good doc! Doc Barak! He and Dan talk about vaccine hesit...
Apr 27, 2021•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 757
When your baby has a peanut allergy and your in-laws don't take it seriously, well, the sparks are gonna fly. The eternal question: can you make your penis bigger? Dan's answer may not shock you. ON the Magnum version, Dr. Shanna Swan author of "Countdown" is on to talk about declining sperm counts, environmental toxins and the fate of the human race. Pop yourself Xanax before listening. And, hear two separate tales of women looking to hire unicorns for one special evening. 206-302-2064 voicemai...
Apr 20, 2021•53 min•Ep. 756
In our opening Sexcess Story, a German man offers this kind-hearted maxim: "It's hard to stay mad when you are covered in come." A man wonders if his covid vaccine is what caused his libido to spike. His female friend said the same thing! She claims she had 10 ORGASMS right after getting her shot. So, hey Science! Is this causation or correlation? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Justin Randall of the "We Were Christian Kids" podcast, about relationships after you've grappled with a hyper-religious...
Apr 13, 2021•48 min•Ep. 755
In our opening Sexcess story, a very delightful woman in her 60s has discovered that one wee edible before sex can yield untold orgasms. A gay man has discovered that he enjoys voyeurism and exhibitionism. But how can these be acted out ethically? On the Magnum, Dan talks with Kelsy Burke, a sociologist who studies the intersection of sex and religion. They talk about the recent Atlanta murders of sex workers, and how the Evangelical Christian conception of "sex addiction" may have warped the ki...
Apr 06, 2021•54 min•Ep. 754
Let the swooning begin. Dan brings on one of his heroes, comedian Nick Kroll to answer some questions and to talk about his show Big Mouth. They chat about meeting sleazy, pre-teen masturbation, dating while famous and many other things. We love Nick Kroll, and so do you. Some of the interview is on the Micro version and all of it is on the Magnum. Have you ever been eaten out while on acid? The caller in our opening sexcess story heartily recommends it. A male erotic massage therapist has only ...
Mar 30, 2021•54 min•Ep. 753
Gather round. Hear the cautionary tale of the gaslighting vibrator thief. It's tough out there for a male gynecologist. A man in his Ob Gyn residency asks for tips on giving exams that put his patients at ease. Dan brings on Dr. Ian Fields, Assistant Program Director for the OBGYN residency at OHSU to discuss being a man in the mix. On the Magnum, our beloved, longstanding guest cartoonist/sex toy expert Erika Moen is on with her partner Matt Nolan to talk about their new book for teens: Let's T...
Mar 23, 2021•52 min•Ep. 752
"Dear Miss Manners, Am I obliged to respond to the gentlemen I encounter on 'Grindr,' even if I am not in the least bit interested?" Dan counsels yet another woman who lays herself down as a human doormat. DTMFA! If your man hasn't yet told his friends that he's dating you, it's time to move on. On the Magnum, we have a very special What You Got?: Listen, we can't put this delicately. There are birds out there that prefer to have sex with cowpies over the females of their species. Dan interviews...
Mar 16, 2021•55 min•Ep. 751
A gay man has started seeing a new guy. But the lad said he wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. This is highly unusual amongst homosexuals, don't you think? Is it possible to have a loving, romantic relationship, and also engage in financial domination? Sounds spicy! Clear a path! Clear a path! Here comes RANDY RAINBOW, the brilliant YouTuber whose musical theater political parodies single-handedly got us all through the past 4 years. It should come as no surprise that he and Dan have big...
Mar 09, 2021•54 min•Ep. 750
Have you ever been blocked? This man was! When he and his boyfriend of 6 months had their first big fight, they broke up, and the boyfriend slammed the door shut. Now the caller wants closure. Dan Savage is here to hold his hand through it. A man is attempting to grow some foreskin through...techniques. He thinks circumcision should be outlawed. But when he discusses this with some of his Jewish or Muslim pals, it doesn't go over well. On the Magnum version, Dan chats with Dr. Stacy De-Lin about...
Mar 02, 2021•53 min•Ep. 749
Is it wrong to suggest to your unsuccessful internet date that she start seeing your roommate instead? A woman's friend-with-benefits pal is becoming obsessed with sex! He fills her drawers with sex toys for her to use on him. But he pays scant attention to her pleasure. What's the next step here? On the Magnum, Dan interviews Charles M. Blow- the acclaimed journalist and op-ed columnist for the New York Times. They discuss his new book The Devil You Know: A Black Power Manifesto. Blow is an ama...
Feb 23, 2021•56 min•Ep. 748
A woman has discovered she has a taste for bisexual dudes. But so many are closeted, or don't lead with their bi-ness on apps. How can she root them out? Dan wades into drama, intrigue and subterfuge! A gay man's acquaintance has dark designs on a straight man in their life. Should the caller warn his unwitting straight friend? Or stay out of it? On the Magnum, Dan welcomes Dr. Sarah Hunter Murray to discuss the misperceptions about male sexuality and desire. C'mon! Fellas need to feel like sex ...
Feb 16, 2021•58 min•Ep. 747
In the intro: You wanted to hear what Dan Savage thinks of the Armie Hammer scandal? Now he will tell you. A sugar baby had been seeing a married man for 2 years, when they fell in love. Now that there's nothing transactional going on, is it less ethical? Finally! Dan Savage deconstructs drag. Are we allowed to enjoy it? (Spoiler: Yes, yes we are.) On the Magnum, all hail Jon Ronson! The author of The Psychopath Test, The Butterfly Effect and many other works in various media, is on to help Dan ...
Feb 09, 2021•52 min•Ep. 746
Sure, sure. He's a good boyfriend...during a pandemic. But when the covid glasses come off, will he still be right for her? After 20 years of marriage, a woman finally understands that she is asexual. She wants nothing of sex, whatsoever. She would love for him to get laid outside of their relationship, but he's an introvert, and not inclined to open their marriage. And if he found a woman to have sex with, would he leave her? On the Magnum, degenerate homosexual Dan Savage teaches potty-mouthed...
Feb 02, 2021•50 min•Ep. 745
Welcome to the sisterhood! A trans woman got aggressively propositioned by one of the men in her macho friend group. Another one slut-shamed her after she posted a bikini pic on Insta. Wait. Men are pigs??? You may recall, a couple weeks ago we heard from a woman with recurrent UTIs. We got flooded with responses from women who have also suffered, with a wide variety of recommendations. Some sounded a little...iffy. So we brought on Dr. Jen Gunter, author of The Vagina Bible to address this. Lis...
Jan 26, 2021•52 min•Ep. 744
He took part in the Moderna vaccine trial, which puts him at the front of the line to get his shot. But he's a young, healthy man who works from home. Should he wait, lest he deny someone who needs it more than him? A woman starting a new relationship used to have an eating disorder that damaged her heart to such an extent that she gets easily winded. What should she say if her new man wants to go mountain climbing? On the Magnum, Dan chats with our favorite lawyer, Diana Adams, about asking you...
Jan 19, 2021•49 min•Ep. 743
When your wife is buddies with the MAGA crowd: Dan counsels a man whose wife hangs out with covid-denying, conspiracy theory-believing, Trump-loving simpletons. He is pretty conservative himself, but these people! It's too much! A middle-aged man is newly grappling with his bisexuality. The wife isn't into it. How can he find other guys like him in his tidy suburb- you know, guys who just want to get together, play some poker and blow each other off? On the Magnum, "There's a big difference betw...
Jan 12, 2021•55 min•Ep. 742
Ah, the pleasures of getting rimmed! But what if you are alone, during quarantine times? Is there a sex toy out there to help a lass get off? Starting in kindergarten, a woman began masturbating using a very specific and very odd technique. Now she needs to do this, and she's super-embarrassed about it. How can she get over her shame, and possibly move on to more conventional orgasm inducers? On the Magnum version of the show, is Instagram going the way of Tumblr- removing all sexual content? Wr...
Jan 05, 2021•56 min•Ep. 741
