¶ Naming and Taming Affects
Sometimes God wakes me up with a word on my heart for you , and this was one of those mornings . So here we go . If you're a note taker , grab your notebook and a pencil , because this is a note taking episode . Also , you might want to save or download this episode for later , because you might need it from time to time .
Kurt Thompson , adam Young , priscilla Scheyer , jesus , zebras and you . This is what I woke up with . If you're watching this episode , you'll notice that I'm wearing my zebra dress because I had to . I'm going to try and pace myself because I'm clearly excited and I hope that all of this makes sense . Are you ready ? Here we go .
Okay , you've heard me use this phrase before . You've got to name it to tame it . Psychiatrist and author Kurt Thompson gives us this phrase to nudge us towards being able to face the issue , the trigger or the person , and name it clearly so that we can subtract some power from it , so that we can tame it . Write that one down .
You've got to name it to tame it . What we want to focus on naming is our affect . Have you heard that term before ? Affect is what you're feeling right now on the inside , both in your body and in your emotions . Naming your affect is a power move . Let's look at affect on a scale measured from one to 10 . The one to three range is hypoarousal .
In this range your affect might sense something that might sense shame , hopelessness or even despair . You may feel numb or like you're shutting down or have difficulty concentrating or be sleepy . The four to seven range , right in the middle , is regulated . This is the sweet spot . You may sense a relaxed excitement , like you're calm and attentive .
And then the eight to 10 range is hyperarousal and in this range you may feel panic or terror or rage . Even your heart is beating faster , your breathing is faster and you may feel jittery . Hypoarousal one to three regulated . Four to seven the sweet spot . And hyperarousal eight to 10 . Adamyoungcounselingcom offers a chart . It's a free resource .
I use this for myself , with my clients , with my kids . Check it out , download it , print it out . It's really good . Notice how , if you can name how you're feeling , you can sense and see where you are on the chart and then try to regulate your affect to that sweet spot by taming it . Okay , that's a lot of head knowledge in just a few minutes .
You gotta name it to tame it and affect regulation On your journey to sexual wholeness and your life in general . Sensing when you're out of the sweet spot is really good to know , but what do you do when you know this is where the zebras come in ?
Of course , close your eyes , if you would , and imagine with me , because we're gonna allow nature to be a beautiful teacher for us right now . Almost as quickly as a zebra is born , it disappears . The wobbly striped baby and his mama steal away from the herd .
For the first two days of the foal's life , the two stay close to one another , limiting direct contact with other zebras . And in this proximity , in this closeness , he can learn to identify her by sight , by smell and by sound . This process , this special time , is called imprinting .
Stripes are as unique to a zebra as a fingerprint is to you and me , and that makes imprinting a powerful and important time for the baby to learn where he comes from and to whom he belongs . Sitting nose to nose with his mama , the baby zebra will notice the rich blackness in her markings .
He'll become aware of the softness and almost creaminess of the white in her stripes . He'll learn how her stripes dip into an almost diamond pattern right between her big , beautiful eyes . Sitting this close to her , he'll breathe in her scent and unknowingly lock it into his heart . And when the imprinting process is done , mama releases her baby back into the herd .
Can you imagine the shock , the overwhelm of black and white and nays and mains . It has to be a shock . That's where the imprinting is key and the midst of the chaos , he can lift his head , look for the diamond on her face , the cream in her stripes , and breathe in until he finds his mom .
¶ Imprinting and Connecting With Jesus
One of my favorite Bible teachers , priscilla Shire , points out that imprinting is just as important for us and our connection with Jesus . Taking time to focus on the character of Jesus and the promises of the one who loves us the most is powerful imprinting for you and me as we head out into the herd . So let's do it right now , together .
Let's steal away for a moment with the one who loves us the most , to get up close to his voice , to take in his breath and remember his words . When you're walking , slow down . If you're sitting in the carpool line , open up your windows and if you're waiting at an appointment , pop in your AirPods .
When you find yourself in hypo , arousal , that hopeless , numb place , maybe Ephesians 1 , 17-19 , in the amplified version , is just for you .
I always pray that the God of our Lord , jesus Christ , the Father of glory , may grant you a spirit of wisdom and revelation that gives you a deep and personal and intimate insight into the true knowledge of him , for we know the Father through the Son , and I pray that the eyes of your heart , the very center of your core of your being , may be enlightened
and flooded with the light by the Holy Spirit , so that you will know and cherish the hope , the divine guarantee , the confident expectation to which he has called you , the riches of His glorious inheritance in God's people , and so that you will begin to know what the immeasurable , an unlimited and surpassing greatness of His active spiritual power is in us who
believe . When you find yourself in hyperarousal , full of panic and jittery , a breath prayer might be a better option for you . Breathe in God , your presence is in me . Breathe out , I am in your presence . This world is crazy and awful and hard and loud , and fun and beautiful .
And when you find it's all too much , choose a story from the Gospel of Matthew or John and pull out the details that tell you about Jesus , or ask what Jesus is saying about you . When the noise around you confuses you , when the triggers make your legs buckle , pull away to get close to the one who loves you the most .
Remember who he is , remember who you are , who he calls you to be . Get back to that sweet spot . You have a God who is for you , beside you , waiting to hear from you . You have eternity written on your heart and His plans for you are good . Take that into the herd .