Overcoming Stuckness: Navigating the Journey to Sexual Integrity

Masterbation has been a go-to for comfort . Hooking up eases the ache of loneliness for a bit . But as you're rewiring your brain , repaving your pathways , from time to time you might get stuck . The thing with getting stuck in this journey is it can already feel pretty vulnerable to ask for help , right .

So asking for help or reaching out to say I'm stuck , I feel like I can't move forward and I don't want to look back , that is so hard . I've been praying for you in those times when you feel stuck . I have , and please know that the fact that we're even recording this as an episode shows how common it is to feel this way .

You aren't alone in your stuckness , why ? Well , lots of reasons . Fear can be paralyzing . What if they find out ? What if I never change ? What if I do it again ? Perfection , wow , that can be paralyzing , right , if the goal is one month without masturbating , and then you miss a day . You might feel stuck .

On top of those inner attacks of fear and perfectionism , we also live in a world , a world of instant gratification that is slowly killing our ability and our willingness to just wait . I want what I want , and I want it now , is a persistent message and even endorsement for you to get what you think you need when you need it .

Oh , but you , maybe you have got it all , tying you down to one spot . You're afraid of your past , worried you aren't doing it well enough now , still wanting what you want when you want it , and you're taking in so much information about how to live free that it leaves you feeling very unfree . Feel like you . No wonder you feel stuck . It's a lot .

Let's ask Jesus together right now , to help cultivate a space , a space beyond the land of being stuck . Would you cultivate a big , open space , uprooting fear and breaking through perfectionism to make room ? Because I feel stuck . Jesus doesn't want you there , stuck in your stuckness .

There's a time for stillness and a time for motion in your journey to sexual integrity . Maybe this time feels more than just stillness . So let's look at scripture , but not as a prescriptive . Let's look to God's word more of like a map , sound good . In Mark 4 , before Jesus calms the storm , he invited . He invited the disciples to the other side .

The disciples go from solid ground to the sea that they knew to a storm they never saw coming , to get to learn another side of Jesus and then get to the other side of the storm with Him .

Jesus wants to be with you in the storm , in the learning , in the goal setting and the fear , not just to be with you in it because , praise God , he will be , but even more , even more . He wants to get to know you and for you to get to know Him , a longer way to the other side .

When people heard about John the Baptist baptizing , they had to move from their city , the land they knew so well , they could navigate with their eyes closed . They had to move from there into the wilderness of all places just to get to John , who would then take them to the Jordan to be baptized .

Moving from what you know and can navigate , with your eyes closed and you know what that is and where that is to a wilderness where you have to open your eyes and your ears because you don't know what's coming next , but you keep going because you know that the cleansing , refreshing water is waiting for you . Are you feeling the motion ?

Are you noticing the shift in terrain ? It feels a lot like the journey that you're on , moving from comfort to the unknown to be with Jesus , to ultimately get to freedom . That forward motion is great until it isn't and there are a lot of reasons why you're feeling unable to move . I can't even begin to name them all .

You're learning your story , you're doing your work and if being stuck right now is part of your story , own it , know it , feel it . If you can't imagine taking the next step , can you look back just to ask yourself what worked ? Why did it work ? Why did it stop working ? Is it because you're growing ?

Psalm 84 , 5-7 says Blessed and greatly favored is the woman whose strength is in you and whose heart are the highways of Zion Passing through the valley of weeping . They make it a place of springs . The early rain also covers it with blessings . They go from strength to strength , being in victorious power . Each of them appears before God .

In Zion , this passage is loaded Strength to strength . How does this speak to you about being stuck ? Here's what it says to me . So one thing was working for you and now it's not . So you were feeling motivated and hopeful and now you're not . How can you get unstuck ? Strength to strength . This phrase has momentum . We keep growing and changing .

So do our strengths , so do our weaknesses . Even our partnership with the Lord grows and changes . What worked before doesn't work now , and , pray God , there are so many things changing . I feel stuck . What do I do next ? You are the source of all power . Help me move from strength to strength . Can you do that ? Can I encourage you with this truth ?

I'm gonna do it anyway , but I just hope that you receive it . If you are aware that you're stuck , if you know it , it is less likely that you'll stay stuck . It's more likely that you'll move . Is that good ? Maybe you can pocket this for later .

I am a visual learner and teacher , and this visual feels good for me when we're stuck , and I learned it from a great teacher , kurt Thompson , and I've adapted it for us . Let me know what you think .

Imagine that you are on a train taking you through this journey to sexual wholeness okay , and on the first track you look out and you see all the hurts and pains and traumas . And on this track , fear starts weighing you down and pushing on the brake to bring you to a stop . Anxiety adds more pressure . What if it happens again ?

What if I do it again and shame and judgment come in to sludge up the gears and your train gets stuck On the second track . You can still see all the past pains and hurts and traumas , but here you swap shame for curiosity and reflection . Remember the statement at the beginning of the episode all you have is right now On this track .

Your willingness to look at the brokenness with careful questions and honor now become your fuel for your train . That fuel doesn't leave too much room for anxiety about the future because you are present in your present . On this train , your momentum takes you to new places . It creates some distance between you and those past hurts .

They don't disappear entirely , but they also don't crowd your view . What track are you on ? It can change from day to day .

Taking in a lot of information and gaining knowledge is one thing . It's a great thing Learn tools and verses and download charts , but can I suggest that you pray for discernment . Holy Spirit , search me and know me , guide me towards the best word for me , the best tool for me . Help me stay where I am , help me know where I am .

Stay near me , jesus , until I'm ready to move . We're all on a journey . There are highs and there are lows . There are times of growth and times of stillness . Jesus , I pray for the woman listening . I pray that she knows where she is and to know that you are with her through it all . Amen .