Break through: What lies are keeping you from healing?

The sexual abuse I experienced as a little girl I held it to myself for decades and in that time he wrapped me tight in lies . I thought I caused the abuse . I believed it was my fault Little Andre , three years old . Until just a few years ago , I believed that I got used to those binding lies . They squeezed around my body image .

Those beliefs shaped my heart for myself , Around the safety of men . Those beliefs led to coping mechanisms that oozed out into so many different habits , so many layers , so many years . All the while I knew God . I believed in him , even as a little girl , but those beliefs had wrapped around me . I kept them separate .

I kept me separate for 40 plus years , all the while going to church , doing devotionals , attending small groups . I love God and believe in him , but I believed also that showing up was all he wanted from someone like me . That's an issue . Why did I do that . Why wouldn't I bring all of me to him ?

Is there something that you're believing that's got you bound in lies and in shame ? Are you willing to bring all of you to him ? This episode isn't meant to convince you of anything , but just to consider this as an opportunity to explore your beliefs with raw honesty . So let's read from the passage in Mark 5 .

And a woman who was there had been subject to bleeding for 12 years . She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had . Yet instead of getting better , she grew worse . When she heard about Jesus , she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak , because she thought I just touch his clothes , I'll be healed .

Immediately , her bleeding stopped and she felt it in her body that she was freed from her suffering . At once , jesus realized that power had gone out from him and he turned around and asked who touched my clothes ? You see people crowding against you . His disciples answered . And yet you can ask who touched me ? But Jesus ? But Jesus kept looking .

He kept looking around to see who had done it . Then the woman , knowing what had happened , came , fell at his feet , trembling with fear , told him the whole truth , the whole truth , and he said to her what ? What did he say to her ? How many times have you heard this story , this encounter with Jesus ? I see me in the bleeding woman .

I see you in the bleeding woman . Your issue isn't bleeding , though , but you know how she feels . Your issue can make loneliness a companion , can make you feel cast aside . Do you feel like the woman who has befriended shame because it's persistent , predictable company ? You've been bleeding , you've tried everything , you've been cast aside , and here you are .

Here I am . We believe in Jesus , whether we've heard about him our whole lives or he's the last resort . We've considered what if it's true ? It's true , and so we gather up our courage , just like the bleeding woman , but just to come up behind him . Just enough to reach out .

But Jesus , yes , he healed her and he wants to heal you , but I wonder if you , like the hemorrhaging woman , have gone to enough people hoping for encouragement or answers and you got burned , turned away . How many times have we approached Jesus for healing or help , with our heads bowed , trying just to sneak in behind Him ?

Just enough of us , but not all of us . Why do we do that ? Why do you do that ? What are you anticipating ? Let's dig in here because it's worth saying out loud . You might have gone to a pastor , a parent , a friend , only to hear things like what will people think of you ? What's wrong with you ? Or get over it ?

Or can you imagine what people would say if they knew ? Or don't tell anyone else . When you consider who has said these things to you , people you love and you trust it makes sense that you wouldn't want to face Jesus . You love and trust Him , but he is Jesus . So what would he say ? What did he say ?

Let's go back to the gospel and imagine now that you are the woman bound up in layers , hiding your issue , holding on to what you've been told . You trust Jesus to heal you , but you don't want Him to see you . And you get close and you reach out and then you're completely free , healed . You know it , jesus knows it . That's not enough for Him .

It wasn't enough for Jesus to just heal her . He wanted to lay eyes on her , he wanted to hear her voice . He wanted to be the first to say daughter , to welcome her back into a family . He sees all the layers , he heals all the layers . He wants to see you , all of you . Jesus lived this story so many years ago for you right now .

Matthew and Mark and Luke all included this detail that Jesus turned around . Scripture tells us to approach the throne boldly so he can break through the wounding of words and beliefs that you've held on to for so long . Scripture tells us Jesus understands our temptations , because he was tempted to .

Jesus turns around to set you free from those words of shame and condemnation . He turns to say daughter , can you trust Him to see you ? Can you trust Him to speak to you ? Scripture tells us God is searching for hearts , searching for His . Jesus turns around .

He turns around to offer you the care and comfort and connection that you're looking for , and if you're here , you know it can't be found in porn or masturbating or random sex with whoever . The care and comfort and connection that you've been searching for has been instilled in you . It's part of you . He has that on His heart too .

For you , for every bit of you . This is heavy ,

I know it . So let's wrap this up with a physical exercise , because I'm guessing that your heart's stirring . So get yourself into the posture of the woman at the start of the story . She's sneaking in through the crowd , make yourself small . She's pushing through and reaching out her hand . Can you feel how tight she is , even even in her hope ?

Get into that posture Bent out of shape and tight . Maybe you're even holding your breath . Release it . Now let's imagine what healing was like . Remember , mark tells us that Jesus felt the power go out of him and she felt in her body that she was free . They both felt it . I love that . Doesn't this feel like an upright ? Like even your eyebrows chewed up ?

What is this feeling ? What does this posture look like ? Maybe it's both hands out open-handed . Now touch your stomach , touch your heart , touch your head Different . Hey , as you stretch it out and let your body experience the difference , words or beliefs might come up for you as things that you've been holding back .

Write them down , consider bringing them all to Jesus , all of it , all of you . He's turned around and he's looking for you . He's praying for you , and so are we . If it feels like you could use some extra help , consider meeting with one of our spiritual coaches . We're here for you .