Well, hello, hello, and welcome to After the Show. I'm your host, Crystal Vilkaitis. And after listening to Terra's episode this week, did you just want to go to the playground and swing? Or just find like a big old tree and just swing for hours. I did. I could just see it. I could feel it that feeling. I mean, man, I used to love swinging as a kid, very similar to Terra. And I was like, that just sounds really relaxing and amazing. So I don't know about you, but I definitely wanted to do that.
This was such a great conversation. There were so many different aspects that I wanted to pull out as always. But in today's, after the show, I'm going to talk about something that's actually a little bit more personal that I struggle with that I know holds me back in my business. And so this is me being a little vulnerable on today's After the Show in hopes to hold myself accountable, to be a little bit better with what I'm going to talk about today.
As well as maybe inspire somebody else listening to this, who might be going through the same thing for you to know you're not alone, not at all. Before we dive into my big takeaway today, I just want to share that I'm filming this in December. It's being released in December and in December of 2024, we have the ultimate EVOLVE experience giveaway happening right now. You can enter to win a free VIP ticket to EVOLVE our retail conference.
Plus, we're giving $500 airfare credit, and we're covering three nights of your hotel at the Gaylord Rockies. So to enter this free trip to Denver and a free conference ticket, you can go to rootedinretail.com/giveaway. We'll link to that as well. You can enter until the end of December. We will announce our winner January 3rd. So good luck, and I hope to see you at EVOLVE. Okay, so my big takeaway and what we're going to talk about today is asking for help.
Oh my goodness, I almost feel a little nervous even talking about this because this is something that I genuinely like deeply struggle with. I have my own reasons of why I really struggle with, and just to be completely transparent, I always appreciate that from other people. You know, growing up, I was an only child. I didn't meet my half brothers until I was 14, so I really grew up an only child. My parents worked really hard. My dad did swing or shift work.
So he would like go in at 7 PM at night and come home at 7 AM for a couple of days, have a couple of days off. Then he'd have to go in at 7 AM and then work till 7 PM for a few days, have a few days off and then go back to the night work. So you do day work, night work, day work, night work. Oh my gosh. He had insomnia, anxiety, depression, really challenging hours. And my mom, she did not graduate high school.
She actually had kind of a very, actually very tough childhood, was bullied, and because of being bullied dropped out of school and just lacked confidence in herself when it came to like education and homework and writing and math and just like schoolwork, right? Because she just did not have a good experience there. So, you know, you take these two parents who love me very dearly.
I had an amazing childhood, but they, I remember needing help with homework and either my dad was just like way too tired or not there because he was working. And my mom just would get really upset or frustrated because she couldn't help. So I never wanted to burden them, so I didn't ask for help and I would try to figure it out myself. And that was really challenging. There were definitely times for me as a kid where I remember crying.
I remember feeling so upset because I couldn't figure something out, and you like feel so dumb almost. And you feel like just really, it's really challenging to push through that. And you just don't understand, especially as a kid, you know? So I did fine. I figured it out. I think that's where my everything is figureoutable. Marie Forleo says that all the time, and I completely agree with it. I will figure it out. Just last weekend, I built an entire new membership platform. Like, the tech.
I don't know this tech. I figured it out, and I built it, and I was really excited. Proud of myself. I'm really excited for the new tech to be live which is going to be our rRooted in Retail Mastermindcoming in January. It's so cool what I built. Anyway, that's now been a struggle for me and it definitely comes from childhood. So I am working on healing that and I'm talking more about it.
And that's where I feel like kind of saying it on the show here and talking about it is another step to just making that transformation for me, because I do find it challenging to ask my team for help. And so many times I've had people be like, but you pay them, like, they're here to support you, you know. So it's just a silly thing that I struggle with, but I do think a lot of people struggle with it. And it could be for reasons similar to mine.
And you have a situation from childhood or we just don't want to look weak or vulnerable. So we won't ask for it. We crave like just to be independent and I'm independent and we want that kind of exterior, so we won't ask for help or we're worried that will burden somebody like me, or we're worried that people will say no. You know, there's a lot of different things that can happen with us when we have fear of asking for help.
But the challenge is that when we do not as entrepreneurs, then you are very limited in the ability to scale in the ability to spend your time on the things that you love doing that you are really great at. Because if you're not delegating and you're not asking for help, then your to do list is going to be filled with the things that have to get done right now. Like the fires, right? My dad always says, life is your firefighter.
You're just running around putting out several fires and, you know, some are bigger than others. The second you get one out, there's another one burning over here. And so you're just like, running around, putting out these fires. And if that's what you're having to do, because you won't delegate or you won't create systems to help support you too, or find that training to learn about the systems, to implement them into your store. So you save time. However, that looks to really support you.
If you don't get that support, you will be very limited on having that time freedom, having flexibility, or just being able to spend your time in more of your zone of genius. And so the thing that I am learning is that your team often enjoys the helping you. And as silly as this is going to sound. Like, I know this sounds so silly, but there are things that are on my to do list that I look at and I'm like, "Oh, I'm so drained by it." I just do not want to do it. Like I dread it.
So because I dread it, I don't want to give it to somebody else. I don't want them to feel the dread. I don't want them to be upset that I gave them to this, but I gave them that, that task. But the thing is. We're not all created equal. The thing that I could dread, somebody else could love doing, right? So data tracking, metrics, marketing, inventory, purchasing, tracking, all sorts of things that you're doing every single day. What is the list of the things that you just dread?
That totally puts out your fire. And is there somebody on your team that will love it and talk to them and ask for help? I really, I personally would really like to ask for more help in 2025. That's a focus of mine and not feel like a burden. You know, sometimes I'll ask for help. I'll ask just for advice in my mastermind group that I pay to be a part of. And I'll feel like, Oh, I don't want to burden you by asking. Asking this question.
And every time I ask, people are like, I had that same question or crystal. Thank you for your vulnerability. Like that makes me feel like I can be vulnerable. I have a question, you know, it's really helped other people. And then also I've gotten answers that really supported me in my business. So I am just kind of trying to break that down. If you are listening to this, I hope that you will ask for help. If you struggle with this, I hope that you will ask for help. Let's do it together.
Okay, it's uncomfortable. I know, but we can do this because we need that support in order to go wherever we want to go. Whatever that looks like, we're going to need support getting there for sure. I know I will, and you will too. So let's do it together. And I just want to share because I'm filming this in December. In January, I will be live at a couple of the markets.
And so if you are a gift or home retailer, and you're going to America's Market in Atlanta in January, or you're going to the Las Vegas market in January, or you're going to NY NOW in February, I will be live there. We are doing some different events at each of those markets. I would love to see you, meet you, doing podcast recordings there as well. Maybe you will be on the show. Go to our Rooted in Retail Facebook group. Cause I did a call for entries for people to get interviewed on the show.
So if you're interested, join that group, find that post. And you can email me if you're interested in, you're going to be there in Atlanta or New York, that's where we're doing the live recordings. So that is today's After the Show. I hope that if you're struggling with the same issue I am of asking for help, you will. I hope that we can both look through the frame of who not how, and it's funny because I laugh at myself as I say that. I built the membership platform this weekend.
I didn't need to learn how to do that. It wasn't how I should have maybe found the who, but I guess this is a really great closing point, actually. Thank you. I got a lot of joy out of building that membership platform. I really enjoy learning new things and I love seeing it come to life. And so that actually really filled my cup up in doing that. And so there are certainly things, it's not like we look at everything in our business of who, not how I shouldn't be doing anything.
What are the things you really enjoy doing? Like, do them. Even if it's like, "Oh, Crystal," you know, my business friends could look at me and be like, why are you spending your time building a mastermind program and like learning that software? It's probably not the best use of my time, but I enjoy doing it. And it did really fill me up. Let's play by our rules and do the things that we do love and that do fulfill us.
But those things that drain us, or if we really need support, cause we were just so overwhelmed. Let's ask for help hashtag. Can you help me? I don't know. We need a cooler hashtag, but #LETSASKFORHELP. I don't know. Anyways, thank you for being here. Thank you for being a listener. It means the world. Go enter to win the EVOLVE experience. Oh my goodness, it's epic. I hope to see you there and remember that I'm rooting for your success. Have a great week ahead.
Bye. Okay, I have exciting news to share. The Rooted in Retail Mastermind is launching this January. It's your chance to connect deeper with me, the retail pros from the show and an incredible community of resilient retailers, both online and in person with several meetups throughout the year. Get on the waitlist at rootedinretail.com/waitlist and don't just listen to the show. Be a part of the magic and grow your store with us. I hope to see you there.