The Confidence to Negotiate As the Only in the Room - podcast episode cover

The Confidence to Negotiate As the Only in the Room

Dec 08, 202235 minEp. 12
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Episode description

If you struggle with having the confidence to negotiate as the only female or woman of color in the leadership call, here's something you must know.

Too often, smart women fall into the trap of overfunctioning -- delivering more than is necessary and working more than is healthy -- in an effort to outrun the doubt and discomfort of being the only in the room. 

Though common, this isn't how it's "supposed to be." 

Having confidence in your worth is 100% possible without burning out. 

You absolutely can take good care of yourself, give yourself rest, and make headway towards your C-Suite ambition, while growing your income. 

This is exactly what my client Brandy Walton is doing through executive coaching. 

In this episode, Brandy shares her wisdom, insights and actions leading to lasting results in her career. 

BEFORE 

  • Operating from perfectionism, always giving 150% of herself, while burning out, lacking confidence, and not taking time to refill her cup 
  • Second guessing her excellence with the internal dialogue of "Am I enough? Am I doing enough? Should I do more?" 
  • Not negotiating for her career ambitions 


AFTER 

  • Having confidence in her worth, knowing in her core that she has what it takes to be a great leader 
  • Giving herself grace and prioritizing her well-being so she can be her best self at work and in her life 
  • Building an action plan around her C-Suite ambitions and creating alignment on the plan through collaborative negotiation 


You're invited to book your 1:1 sales call with me where I'll help you take what you're dreaming about in your career and put it into an action plan, so you know how you can achieve your C-Suite ambitions in a confident and sustainable way... even if you are the only woman or woman of color at the leadership table for now. 

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Transcript

Jamie Lee (00:00):

Welcome to Negotiate your Career Growth. I'm Jamie Lee, and I teach you how to blend the best of negotiation strategies with feminist coaching, so you get promoted and better paid without burning bridges or burning out in the process. Let's get started. Hello? Hello, hello. I'm recording this in early December, 2022, and the last day of this year, December 31st, happens to be my 41st birthday, and I'm one of those people who love to celebrate the entire month of their birthday. So I'm celebrating my birth month all December. And in the spirit of celebration, I'm so excited to share this interview that I've done with my client, Brandy Walton. I celebrate my clients. My clients, they inspire me. So the reason is that of course, they're amazing people, and once you hear this interview, you'll see why you'll be blown away by Brandy, who is the real deal. 

(01:08)
But for me, at a very personal level, I am doing this work, this change work, this coaching work, because I needed that change for myself most desperately. I needed to learn how to negotiate, how to advocate, how to generate self-confidence from the inside out for myself, and to see me not only doing this work for myself, but now taking it further and sharing it with my clients, and seeing them take this work and run what seems like to me, what feels like a marathon with what I teach them is so fun, so mind blowing, so exciting. So in this interview with Brandy, you are going to learn how you can generate confidence in yourself to negotiate for yourself when you are the only in the room, whether that is, that you're the only female or the only woman of color, and you're gonna learn how to stop burning out when you know that you have excellence inside of you. 

(02:21)
And when you give 120, 150% all of the time, you're gonna learn how to stop burning out from thinking that maybe you haven't done enough, maybe you're not enough, and you're gonna learn how you can negotiate your C-Suite ambitions along with your salary and equity compensation upfront. This is everything that we cover in this amazing interview. So I wanna let you know if you wanna go into more detail about how you can negotiate your compensation, please check out my podcast series, how to Get Better Paid, it's episodes eight through 11. And without further ado, please enjoy this awesome interview with my client, Brandy Walton. 

Jamie Lee (03:22):

Brandy, welcome to the podcast. 

Brandy Walton (03:25):

Hello. Hello. 

Jamie Lee (03:27):

Hey. So Brandy Walton is director of Commercials operations at Spring Works, and I'm so delighted to have you here to share with us your experience through the coaching journey, uh, what changes and shifts you've experienced and the results that you've created. I think it's really going to help a lot of women as well as women of color, um, who are looking to see what models are out there, what role models are out there, uh, who are demonstrating how to believe in themselves, believe in their worth, and advocate for what they want in their careers. What are your thoughts about that? 

Brandy Walton (04:06):

I'm ready, Jamie. Thank you so much for having me. 

Jamie Lee (04:09):

Awesome, awesome. So Brandy, maybe you can tell us briefly where you were in your career journey when you first started coaching with me. I, I think we started coaching together, uh, late last year, or maybe it was early 2022. Yeah. 

Brandy Walton (04:25):

Yes, exactly. Yeah. 

Jamie Lee (04:27):

Wow. 

Brandy Walton (04:28):

Um, time has really flown by. 

Jamie Lee (04:30):

Yeah. So tell us where you were in your career journey when you first started coaching. 

Brandy Walton (04:36):

So, in my journey, I was at my previous organization, and one that I'd have to say I, I truly enjoyed the organization as a whole, but internally when I think about myself, um, had a burnout, lack of confidence of what I was doing and why. And, um, having been a coach of field sales teams for so long, and a true believer that you, um, have to have that support, it really made me look internally and say, what else do I need for me to be my best self? And so that's what turned me to find a coach, um, a k a Jamie that could really help pull out the best in me and help me with accountability to move myself forward. 

Jamie Lee (05:31):

Thank you for sharing that. And what would you say is the biggest difference that you have in your career journey, in your career experience now? 

Brandy Walton (05:42):

Well, one of the things I realized, and you know, I always use this analogy when you think of like the greats, and I know this can be debatable, but like a LeBron James LeBron has a lot of great talent, but when you look at those who surround him, not just his Lakers coach, but the nutritionist, the stretch coach, all of these individuals who really pour into him to make him the quote unquote great LeBron James, I was looking for that same type of support. I think, you know, not to toot my horn that I, I have the core of what it takes to be a great leader, a lot of great skill set and assets, but I wanted to build and have a team that supported me to bring out the best in me. And that's why I turned to executive coaching because it's that tweak between good and greatness, um, that can really give lasting results. 

Jamie Lee (06:39):

Brandy Walton (06:43):

Jamie Lee (06:47):

Brandy Walton (07:07):

You mean you're so right. I'll tune. Yeah. I might not turn the volume up too loud depending on the day, but I'm definitely gonna tune it. 

Jamie Lee (07:13):

Brandy Walton (07:44):

Correct. 

Jamie Lee (07:45):

In my, in my perspective. Yeah. So Correct. Tell us like what changed for you. 

Brandy Walton (07:52):

Um, the biggest change is my mental focus and how I looked at and how I showed up. I've been one, and, you know, we've talked about this before where, um, I've always done great work, um, but would often lean into perfectionism. I was always gonna give 150%. I was always gonna go there extra mile. Sometimes that leads actually to burnout. It can lead to exhaustion and not taking the time to really refill your coffers. So you can have consistency as well as the endurance can actually have the opposite results that you're seeking. And, um, I have worked and continue to work, um, with intentionality to find that balance. 

Jamie Lee (08:45):

Brandy Walton (09:24):

Um, for me it means embracing my excellence, um, in all times, whether I'm the only in the room, whether that's an only female, the only African American, but truly embracing, um, my excellence. And it also means, um, giving myself grace when I don't have it. So that confidence piece really all interweaves into the true skillset that we've worked a lot on and that I'll continue to work on and where I've seen the biggest change in my growth. 

Jamie Lee (10:02):

Amazing. So before coaching, I'm curious because a lot of people are, you know, are going to resonate with exactly what you're saying. Help us understand like what got in the way of having confidence in your worth, like really embracing your excellence and being able to give yourself grace. Like what got in the way of doing that in your career? 

Brandy Walton (10:28):

If I'm totally honest here, I I think 

Jamie Lee (10:31):

You do. Please do. 

Brandy Walton (10:32):

Okay. I would say 99% of the times it was me. And when I said what I mean by that, it's that internal talk of is this enough? Am I enough? Should I do more? Um, because not having that tribe to kind of build into you and not recognizing that you are your tribe and you are your celebration, 

Jamie Lee (10:59):

Brandy Walton (11:02):

Internal conversation. Yes, you are your tribe. And so those internal conversations can sometimes drown out even that the, you know, the quote unquote validation that you're getting externally. And then the, so that internal validation should be the loudest voice, and that is what I'm learning loud and clear. And, you know, and I'll say I, I have to be intentional in the practice, but I'm with the coaching, it is becoming, starting to become second nature to where I'm now actually even aware when I'm not doing it, and I can quickly tweak and pivot to make sure that I am 

Jamie Lee (11:44):

So good. So thank you so much for sharing that. And one thing that I just wanna highlight is that I, I've had the same problem, or you know, that internalized, uh, some people call it the inner critic, sometimes I call it the it bitty shitty committee, 

Brandy Walton (12:01):

Jamie Lee (12:04):

And for me, before I learned coaching tools and became a coach, I thought it just meant that I was doing something wrong because I had that itty bitty shitty committee whispering in my head. I, I meant hearing it, hearing that voice meant that there was something wrong with me. But I think what's beautiful about what you just shared is like, you're like, no, I, I recognize it and I recognize I can change it. Yes. And I have authority and agency to change that. 

Brandy Walton (12:33):

Jamie Lee (12:55):

A hundred percent. And, um, one thing that I just wanna add is, for so many people, this does feel normal and we don't understand why it feels so normal. And that's because of socialization. Like we've all been taught, especially women, especially women of color, we've been taught to programmed to think in that way to second guess our excellence. 

Brandy Walton (13:21):

Correct. 

Jamie Lee (13:22):

Right. To not have confidence in our worth. So I think you taking agency over that, um, reclaiming that authority is so powerful. So the insights are so amazing. But I wonder if there was like a specific moment, or maybe there was like a specific, um, situation that we worked through inside coaching that helped you gain that confidence in your worth. 

Brandy Walton (13:50):

Jamie Lee (15:26):

So you mean to say you heard yourself mm-hmm. 

Brandy Walton (15:30):

Jamie Lee (15:31):

And then you were like, oh yeah, I've done these things. This is the impact that I've made. This is the impact that I will make. And it's valuable. It's excellent. 

Brandy Walton (15:41):

Absolutely. And Jamie, it made me gimme a swagger bag. 

Jamie Lee (15:44):

Brandy Walton (16:15):

Right. 

Jamie Lee (16:16):

What becomes second nature to you? So I'm, I'm really curious to hear from you, Brandy, what was something that was different in terms of like what you said or how you said, like, you don't have to go into the specifics, but maybe, um, maybe you could give us like a summary of like what was different in what you said and how you said 

Brandy Walton (16:39):

Yes. I think outside of, in addition to compensation where I wanted to be, I was very articulate on the role that I wanted to perform, as well as the roles in the future that I wanted to, um, grow to. Um, I am one who has aspirations of the C-suite, so it was really important for me to align with an organization that was just as, um, competitive when it came to compensation, but also the development of their team players. So knowing and understanding that even into the scope of the role that I was doing, um, that was very important to me. Um, also talking about and understanding equity. Um, that was something, you know, as a female and a leader, I knew enough to take action, but I really had to learn to ask deeper questions and understand what was going to benefit me in the future. And ironically, I had never done that before. So through, through the coaching and, and the homework homework that you provided me to do, I really felt prepared and I felt confident in what the, that those conversations looked like. And it was one of the times where I can honestly say, you know, it wasn't a nerve wracking experience at all. I, I felt, um, really good in the experience. And I think actually even from a two-way perspective, it re truly was a great alignment. 

Jamie Lee (18:15):

Amazing. Amazing. So, uh, just to recap, excuse me. What we did in coaching was I simply asked you like, what would be amazing? What do you want? Right, beyond just the salary amount, what would be the ideal outcome from big picture perspective, like something that serves your career goals for the long term, like something that serves your C-suite ambitions? And then also for the equity we talked about, again, beyond just the dollar amount, let's, let's make sure that we're doing an apples to apples comparison. So some people, including brandy, uh, earn equity compensation at their, uh, company. And so you wanna think about, okay, what is it that I'm walking away from? What is the total value of that? And how can I make sure that what I'm going towards is at least on par, if not better, than the total equity compensation that I'd be walking away from? 

Brandy Walton (19:15):

Jamie Lee (19:51):

Brandy Walton (20:27):

I, I thank you. Thank you. I, I wanna believe teamwork makes the dream work. So as long as if you can dream it, but you gotta have that right team with you to make it work. So we're a good team. 

Jamie Lee (20:39):

Brandy Walton (21:37):

Well, I, you know, I've previously mentioned Grace, but there's another one that we have taken, or I've taken some intentionality post coaching to be, um, just almost like my mental mosh mantra. So one of my favorite saying, you sayings used to be, I know enough to be dangerous. Mm-hmm. And a simple tweak that we made was saying, I know enough to take action. And even just shifting to that positive light, um, one, it helps me, it validates me to say, you're smart. You've, you've got the information. Uh, now go make impact is when I just say that tweet to go take action to be dangerous means I could go in, you know, knock out a few bowls, blow some things up, but eventually we'll get there. But just changing it to a positive perspective, meaning, hey, I, I have enough, I'm confident that I can go in and make impact. 

(22:38)
And that's been really, um, eye-opening for me. And I actually now say it out loud cuz I say that often in meetings, the other word that we talked a lot about is grace. And I know we're on a podcast and you can't see my office, but like right next to my computer, I have that word written down and it's one that I often reflect to when, you know, I'm the person I wanted 120% every single time. But those days that I give it 95, 99, I just look at that word grace. Mm. And it takes me to a positive perspective and helps me understanding that, you know, you know, tooting my horn loud, you know, my 99 is likely better than someone's a hundred. So, or 120, I'm still giving excellent work. And when I recharge and I re-energize, I can have the stamina to have that consistency moving forward. 

Jamie Lee (23:39):

Yes. You don't have to burn yourself out to be, uh, to be excellent in your career. Excellent. Yeah. Because you are the engine, you are the asset that must be taken care of first. 

Brandy Walton (23:55):

Jamie Lee (23:57):

Yeah. So good. So just in case, um, we haven't made it really clear. So Brandy, um, I just wanna make it clear for people who are listening, you have made a career change, right? You went from previous employer, new employer where, uh, you and the company are aligned in terms of career planning, you know, your C-suite ambitions, like you let them know ahead of time. So that's already been something that's been discussed and like acknowledged. Yeah. 

Brandy Walton (24:30):

Yes, correct. 

Jamie Lee (24:31):

Yeah. And how, how has shifting these narratives, like telling yourself I'm, I know enough to take action and giving myself grace. How, what were the different actions that you took at your new job because of it? Like, I, I heard one, you know, you already said, you're saying it out loud, you're saying out loud, I know enough to take action. And I wonder if there are any other types of actions that you take in your new job because of the narratives? 

Brandy Walton (25:00):

Jamie Lee (26:37):

So what I'm hearing is that your career planning became, uh, a lot, lot more on purpose, more explicit and more, um, like you have more buy-in, right? You have buy-in from people that you're working with from the get-go, Hey, this is what we're working towards and we're all on the same page about that. 

Brandy Walton (26:59):

Yes. And I've truly been blessed from, um, the leader that I work with now. Um, she is so intentional about development and growth and excellence is her middle name. So I think being really, um, you know, focused that, and that's where I go back to the culture and the people. It does make a difference, um, within that. And she is, she is phenomenal. 

Jamie Lee (27:29):

Brandy Walton (28:12):

Jamie Lee (28:53):

Love that coat. 

Brandy Walton (28:54):

Jamie Lee (30:04):

So, good. So for those listening to this, it is absolutely possible for you to take good care of yourself, give yourself rest, and aspire and work towards your C-Suite ambition. I agree, Jamie. Yeah. Two things. I, in my opinion, they must go together because if you burn out, if you're not giving yourself the rest, you are not gonna be able to access your c e o brain or your CX O brain. 

Brandy Walton (30:35):

Correct. Or you won't. And if you get there, you won't have the endurance for sustainability, and that's remove the key. 

Jamie Lee (30:42):

Yeah. Amazing. So before we wrap up, um, I have a question for you. Any advice that you would give to other women, especially smart, driven, ambitious women, women of color right out there who are listening to this? 

Brandy Walton (31:01):

I think oftentimes when people think of executive coaching, they think it's for other people. It's for those who have a certain lifestyle or mantra. And I would just encourage those individuals, that executive, if you're thinking of this, if you're listening to the podcast, executive coaching is for you, whatever form you look for it, whether it's joining organizations or getting individual coaches, it truly is the difference maker or the tweak maker for sustainable success. Um, and especially in African American women, I, I'm learning and understanding the importance of having that tribe or having those, that that team surrounding you to help you be excellent, you're gonna be dynamic alone, but just imagine what it would take if you built, have others that are feeding into you to keep propelling youth forward. That's where the sustainability comes from, and that's how you sustain your excellence. 

Jamie Lee (32:04):

So, one, I wanna add one more, if that's okay. 

Brandy Walton (32:07):

Yeah, 

Jamie Lee (32:08):

Yeah. For those people who are like you, somebody who's, you know, always striving towards excellence, but has never negotiated for herself, is there an advice that you would like to offer her in terms of like how to advocate, how to speak up, how to negotiate for herself? 

Brandy Walton (32:34):

Jamie Lee (33:21):

Brandy Walton (33:46):

Absolutely. 

Jamie Lee (33:47):

Yeah. Amazing. Thank you. 

Brandy Walton (33:50):

Thank you. Have a good one. Talk to you soon. 

Jamie Lee (33:57):

If you enjoy this podcast, come to jamie lee coach.com, j a m i e l e e c o a c h.com to get your free ebook. How to ask for a big pay raise and Get It. And if you want expert guidance in your corner to help you achieve greater self-confidence and greater career satisfaction as you grow your skills in negotiating, leading, and influencing as a woman professional, I invite you to book your free one-on-one sales call with me to find out how executive coaching can help you do exactly that. The link is in the show notes. Talk soon.

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