¶ Intro / Opening
Everybody's got an opinion, Every Californian and Virginian, It's so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore, Someone's gotta settle the score., Trey and Chelsey will help you choose, Whose views win which ones lose, Online haters are coming for you, Baby, it's time to Review That Review!
Hello. Hello. Hello. Welcome back listeners. Welcome back, Royal Squad.
¶ Introduction
We're here. We told you we'd be here and here we are.
Yes, indeed. Welcome back to our coverage of the Apple App Store reviews for YouTube. So in part one, we heard Chelsea's five star review from Namaste Scott. Namaste. But before we get started, We cover that opposite end of the spectrum. It's game time! And Chelsey, it's time for us to take a little spin on the Meryl Go Round.
I don't feel the days I feel like I can't. That's with an A. Okay, here's the deal. Trey and I have each picked a rotten, scathing, pithy One Star Zinger. And with 30 seconds on the clock, we'll take turns trying to recite the zinger in as many genres as possible.
Just like Queen Meryl Streep, who does it all?
Before the clock runs out. All right, Trey, you're gonna, you're gonna go first.
Okay. So I just stayed on theme and I found a another one star review on the Apple App Store for good old YouTube. Now this one is written by a user named The Gamer Has. Mm. Okay. And, um, the subject here is Instagram better and TikTok is better. Mm. And the one star zinger is Dash. Now, that is not spelled out. It's not d it's just a,
it's just literally a dash mark. And that's the whole review. , I'm gonna expect so much theatrics from you, Trey, I'm just warning you. Alright. I'm gonna strap you in. To a dash. Why not? Um, Stacey Dash, don't, don't take my name anywhere. No, that was Stacey's mom to Stacey Dash. Stacy's mom, I'm gonna just drive you into Stacey's mom, okay? Okay. Um, our, she's
a lovely woman.
She's a lovely woman. She's got it going on. Okay, are you ready, Queen?
I'm ready. Are you? Because this might go fast.
I'm ready. I got my fingers ready.
Not saying anything, but I'm just saying. Okay. Yeah, here we go.
Yeah, sure. Here we go. Shakespeare, Dasha, adult film, Dasha, PLC reality, Dasha, disaster, Dasha,
televangelist, Dasha, Disney, Oh, gosh! Magic Show, Horror, Breaking News,
Dash, Melodrama, That has got to be a show first. That has got to be a show. That's insane. Two. Ten. Ten, Trey. That is definitely a show first. We've never done ten. Have we? We've never done ten. I feel like we've never done seven. We've done eight. I think we've done eight.
Oh, yeah.
I think I've done eight, but never ten. Well,
Quinn,
you've really set me up
here. Here we go. Let's see. Let's see how we do. Chelsey. What is your zinger for today?
Okay, so my zinger for today, I also, of course, went in a similar vein, but I, I chose instead to do Making YouTube Videos for Dummies Junior Edition, Starring Your Own Videos. This is a one star review written by Scarlet Kitchen. The title of the review is Useless, Save Your Money and Wing It. And Scarlet's review is Didn't Use It All All.
Okay. That's it. Well, I am gonna strap you into a blender since it's Scarlet Kitchen. No! Don't blend me up! Please! Please, leave me. Okay. You feel ready? I'm ready. Here we go. Opera Diva, Didn't use it all, True Crime Documentary,
¶ Lodge A Complaint
Didn't use it all, all,
Yankee, Didn't
use it
all, all, Magic Show, Didn't use it all, all, Melodrama, Didn't use it all, all, Disc Jockey, Didn't use it all, all, let's see. Didn't use it all,
all, didn't use it all, all, didn't use it all, all, that's all,
that's
all, all,
that's all, all, okay, I'm proud of that, that was, that was a decent performance, wait, two, four,
six, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen,
Nine. Nine. I was going very fast.
Six, seven, eight, nine. Yeah. Wow,
Trey, we're just breaking records all over the place here.
Wow, we're meant to be in front of the cameras. Look at us.
I don't know if my life, my lifetime is a little bit of a cheat. I don't feel like I fully committed, but I'll take it. All right, Trey, you're
the winner. Committed on lifetime.
I don't feel like I fully committed on lifetime. I don't know what I could have done differently. You think
they're fully committed on lifetime.
So maybe I did it right by virtue of doing it wrong. Okay. Great. Thanks.
Should we jump back into YouTube?
¶ Review Breakdown
Let's do
it. Okay. All right. So this one is interesting. So today I have a one star app store review for YouTube written by, I'm going to say their whole username, cause it's not their name. It's Nate space click, which makes me think of like click,
click,
click,
click that Adam Sandler movie. Click.
I'm thinking of like mouse clicks, but yes, Adam Sandler too. Okay, here we go. So, subject is, I'm out, parentheses, update. Here we go. I don't see any reason to return until competition either eliminates this app or makes this app better. Why open an app I don't enjoy? Better yet, why open a catalog of information that has NOTHING to do with interests? Am I really giving up this much data just to see your horrendous child oriented content?
Neil Mohan has destroyed this app, and I am confident in saying This empire is slowly collapsing, asterisk update, asterisk, I'm feeling better without this app in my life, but can't help to reflect and wonder why this app had to go downhill to begin with.
What a shame, still waiting for the next alternative to take over mainstream, Asterisk, asterisk, update, update, asterisk, asterisk, An extremely small amount of the positive reviews for YouTube are fake, dot, dot, An overwhelming majority of the negative reviews are real, Dot, dot, dot. This is why this app is going to ultimately fail. You can't hide the truth forever. Asterick, asterick, asterick. Updated, update, update. Asterick, asterick, asterick. Isn't it funny?
All of the real reviews are talking about me. How bad the ads are, It shouldn't be too much to ask for, To be able to put the phone down and listen to a video, Without having to worry about every couple minutes, Getting a four minute long, Parentheses, or longer, Who remembers those? Multi hour long ads that were meant to take advantage of people who aren't physically able to skip the ad?, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, end parenthesis, dot, dot, dot.
Goodbye, YouTube. You screwed up when you made Neil CEO. Wow, this person
really
does not like Neil. Right? Who even knows who the CEO of YouTube is. I don't
know what's going on. Also. Okay. So here's my, here are my feelings. First of all, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update.
And the updates match the amount of asterisks that he cushioned it inside of.
I mean,
out of control,
out of control, too many updates. We get the point. We get the point, Nate. Click, click away. Okay. Nate Click, you called yourself Nate Click, you can't click? Click off? Yep. Why'd you, why'd you make that your name? That's kind of weird for someone that is not wanting to click, Nate
Click. Move on.
Right? Your name should be Nate Don't Wanna Click.
Yeah, it's interesting to me that the first update is like, you know, I'm feeling better without this app in my life. And then we have two more updates about how it's terrible. I'm like, wait, what?
It's a little bit unhinged. Okay, so The first part of the review confused me a little bit because it was talking about like a lack of catalog, which I find laughable because as you mentioned at the top of the show, there are so many videos on this platform and there's literally a video on YouTube for everyone in every genre you could possibly imagine. If you want You're, I can guarantee you will find something that fits your personal algorithm.
So I originally found that suspicious as a complaint because I was like, what do you mean like you're not finding content? On the app or it's just for kids. I don't think that that's true. I think that there are things for kids, but I don't think it's all, you know, just for kids or I don't know. That was kind of weird to me. That made me immediately start to not trust Neil. Then we started getting into the plethora of update and we really started to hone in on the ad complaint.
Which is an overwhelming conversation.
An overwhelming conversation. Like I said, there were even five star reviews that had five star quote unquote experiences that still mention the ads. I don't know how I feel about it. Like, aren't, aren't we at a place in life, correct me if you disagree, where if we're getting free content, we kind of expect ads at this point. Like we used to have cable shows where we would have to watch commercials. Don't we expect that we should have to watch some sort of ad, like you can pay to get ad free.
But that's a big sticking point in the one star reviews is that they're forcing our hand by making us pay because there's this monopoly.
I mean, but somebody, I guess, like has to, I don't know. I don't know if I disagree with the ad model. I mean, yes, I think it's annoying when you watch a video and it used to be like, oh, it's three seconds and now they have these long ones if you don't press skip. And I do think that that's annoying. But I also kind of get it. Like I'm not paying for this service. It's something that I'm doing for free. If it bothers me that much,
there's an alternative option.
There is an option for me. So I don't know.
I mean, I think that that's something that's very common in this unhinged one star is that clearly if you just go and scroll at the most critical reviews, It is overwhelming. There's a lot of feeling about too much reviews. Too many of them. They last too long. They occur too often. So there's like, that's a typical experience. It's so like, what? We're reading a one star review about YouTube. What? Like, it kind of raises this, like, are you a disgruntled employee that got fired?
Why do you know so much about this? Why CEO? Yeah,
you're right. I don't know, I can't tell if this person's just unhinged or if it's an inside job, but I don't know.
But a lot of these one stars do mention, like, why is there not, like, why has there not been a big competitor, which is interesting, right?
Like, well, hello, Shark Tank. Um, Spelling grammar here also I just want to quickly say is like generally it's okay but there are some instances where like they aren't doing capitals like it's neither here nor there you get the point you can read it but um I feel like they're like kind of shady I think it's shady too it's just a little like oh to your point originally about the content like you Isn't that just your algorithm? Like you have to train your algorithm a little bit.
Like does, does like a niece or nephew or like, does Neil, Nate have kids? Like, is there someone else watching stuff on their account? Therefore you're getting all these kid oriented things. Like
engaging
with the app and you'll get the catalog of stuff you want to say. Like
who hurt you? I don't understand. Something, something's like a little off.
And the whole, like, there is a lot of Doth protesting too much about, Goodbye, YouTube, I'm leaving YouTube, I'm feeling much better without YouTube. And then it's like, Hello
again, here I am.
And even if you did delete YouTube and you're not using it, Then get off of the App Store and leave reviews for it. Like, if you're gonna leave it, leave it.
Like an extra, like, why are you so obsessed with me? Like,
why are you
so obsessed with me? You're only
hurting yourself, baby.
Exactly. Babe, let it go. We don't need the update. This would have been fine without the additional updates. We didn't need it. It didn't add anything.
Well, so like there, so like, what's the value here?
I mean, I don't think that there is that much value other than like what you can read in any other review in the app store, which is that they're ads. Okay, great. Moving on.
And then what about all these claims about, like, the fake reviews?
Weird, and like, I don't, I don't even understand what they're saying, because the statistics are very odd. It was like, thank you for bringing that up, it said a very small amount of five star reviews, extremely small amount of the five star reviews are fake. Okay, who cares? It's not like they said the vast majority of five star reviews are fake. A very small amount? That's, that's marginal. Who cares? Who cares?
I'm just, I'm like, I'm not following. I feel like, I feel like something else is going on for Nate. I think
something's happening for Nate. I'm getting like a vibe of like, I don't want to like make, minimize it, but that there's, there's a problem in Nate's life and they're taking it out on YouTube. Not literally like by putting a vlog, but they're taking it out on the app store.
Which, like, the impact here, like, is this going to keep me from downloading it, and No. No? And I don't even understand there are a lot of ads, and like, if there are fake reviews, like, maybe that is happening, but like, they don't really support the claim in any impactful way. And also, they're just
hurting themselves.
¶ The Verdict
It feels, yeah, like, if it's bad for you, then leave. Yeah, I agree. You want to crown Nate? I can crown Nate. All right, let's do it. The queens are tabulating. Total score.
Okay, I'm holding up a half crown. Trey's holding up one crown. I'll go first. I threw them a half crown for the ads comment. I really think that most of what else, whatever else is in here on the updates, the updates and the information about the reviews that was very strange and the connection to the CEO is sort of neither here nor there. It's not really giving me any value as we stated. So half crown. Why did you go for the full crown?
Literally the same reasons I just said a full crown. I could have said half as well. I just, even the subject is I'm out, but you're leaving the review. Like, so then I'm just sort of like, it's a full crown for me because I, the points that are sprinkled on there, I actually understand and I get them, but I do feel like, what? Like, It's a little incoherent, and like, all over the place, so like, this is not more than a crown for me, no.
Yeah, I agree. It is kind of funny though, it is, it's funny, with like all of the updates. Because it's unhinged,
yeah. And
the fact that you're right, that the subject is, I'm out, and then it's, I'm out, updated, like even that as a title, is kind of funny.
It is kind of funny.
Yeah.
Alright, so then here, right here at the end of part two, based on Namaste Scott and Nate Click, where, what are you, where are you in comparing the two ends?
I think that like it's probably not a full five star experience in the sense of the ads are there, but I would say my overall for like a YouTube score is probably like four and a half crowns, nearly a queen, if not a queen on most days, like I've been there where I'm just doing laundry in the background and I don't want to press skip and that is annoying. So I want to just give that to, I just want to give that to Nate.
Subs But other than that, I really, like, would much rather sit down and have a green juice or something very healthy with Namaste
Scott.
Wow, my brain. I'd rather have a green juice with Namaste Scott and hang out with him and be, like, healthy and go for a walk than, than hang out with Nate Click any day.
¶ My Royal Highness
Yeah, I mean, I'm very biased here because I only consume YouTube. We don't pay for cable anymore. I barely watch Netflix. I can't be bothered. Everything is YouTube. I've still not purchased premium, even though I kind of want to, and I also kind of want to get YouTube TV. Subs Based on these two reviews, there's dark energy around Nate. There's very positive energy around Scott. So
it is interesting how we went so polar opposite there with the namaste and the good vibes and the, the cloud. I'm out. That is Nate. I'm out. Updated. Um, I
think it just highlights, like you get from the world what, what you put into it. And, um, I think like it's diverse enough to have either impact, but like, I would still be interested in trying it.
I mean, trying it. We're on it, baby. Here we are. All right, listeners. All right, Royal Squad. If you agree, if you disagree, please leave a comment down below. Let us know what you think of Namaste Scott. What you think of BuzzkillNateClick. Let us know if you agree with us. Let us know if you beat Trey in the game in part one.
¶ On This Week's After Show Pod
All the things. Thank you for being here today, listen, subscribe, comment, review us, do all the things, we appreciate you. All the
things. And if you want more and you want more exclusive content, just a reminder, go over, join our Patreon. You can do that at reviewthatreview. com slash Patreon. We love you guys. Love you. Stay queenly. Until Bye. Queens next week, Ky.
See you
later. Later. Keep
your crowns up. Keep your crowns up. Queens love you.
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Oh my goodness. Trey Hat. Hat on. Hat on hat. Talk about a hat. On a hat. Betcha. Buy our merch.
Buy our merch and um, go buy YouTube premium and give me your password, . Just kidding, I didn't say that.
Love you.
Love you guys, bye.
Bye!