The parent of a 4-year-old who describes her child as strong-willed and social is concerned that she and her husband did not set boundaries early enough, and they are now paying for it. She admits that for most of her boy's young life she was reluctant to enforce boundaries so as not to upset him. Now when she tries to do so, his reaction is explosive. She asks how they can communicate with their son “without the hitting and kicking… Is it hopeless? Is it too late for him? Is it too late for us?...
May 19, 2020•21 min•Ep. 173
Janet welcomes early childhood educator Tom (“Teacher Tom”) Hobson who shares his optimism and insights about our children’s abilities to learn, grow and flourish outside of a classroom setting. Both Tom and Janet have always asserted that the most valuable education a preschooler receives is organic and self-motivated. They believe that time spent interacting authentically with parents is always precious and can become the most memorable and positive experiences in our young children’s lives. F...
May 12, 2020•22 min•Ep. 172
Psychologist, author and TED Talk superstar Susan David joins Janet to discuss how parents can nurture their children’s capacity to process difficult emotions, thoughts, and experiences. “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life,” she says, but we can help our children develop resilience and a capability to navigate uncomfortable emotions so they're no longer scary. Susan offers advice how parents can instill confidence and a sense of well-being. The process begins with awarenes...
Apr 28, 2020•41 min•Ep. 171
Even in the best of times, caring for children is a balancing act that is never mastered. The ground shifts constantly, and we adapt accordingly, doing our very best to provide care, love, support and encouragement within the daily rhythms of our lives. Our children are acutely aware of change or disruption, and they look to us for stability and leadership. In fact, they insist upon it. If we falter, they’ll reflect it in their behaviors. That’s a lot of pressure! In this episode, Janet offers f...
Apr 20, 2020•20 min•Ep. 170
“Life in lockdown” is heightening a parent's struggles with her 3-year-old's uncooperative, defiant behavior, and this mom's patience is wearing thin. When she tries to correct her daughter’s behavior, or if she asks for her cooperation with calm and reason, she ends up repeating herself again and again and raising her voice. This escalation makes her feel exhausted, guilty and like a failure. She writes: “I lost my confidence as a parent somewhere, and I need to get it together, but I don’t kno...
Apr 07, 2020•18 min•Ep. 169
Janet consults with a military mom of a 3-year old daughter who is trying to decide whether to accept a lengthy deployment. She wants to understand the effects it may have on her daughter and steps she can take to maintain their strong relationship. Her husband is also active-duty and travels regularly, but he is about to be deployed for several months, so she’s hoping Janet has some suggestions how to manage this extended separation as well as the transition when he comes back into their daught...
Apr 01, 2020•32 min•Ep. 168
Acclaimed early childhood educator and play-master Lisa Griffen-Murphy joins Janet to encourage parents to release themselves from the pressure of making play and learning happen for their kids. Lisa shares from her vast experience facilitating children's play in every environment imaginable. She offers specific, open-ended ideas for inspiring learning through play and assures parents that their kids know instinctively what they’re doing. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check ...
Mar 25, 2020•29 min•Ep. 167
In these rapidly changing, unsettling times, as families are hunkering down and lives are put on hold, Janet is joined by author and therapist Susan Stiffelman to answer a parent’s concerns about discussing current events with her 4-year old. She describes her daughter as inquisitive, sensitive, and a child who tends to ask a lot of questions, and she wants to be as honest as possible without alarming her. “I want to use language that is appropriate and that she can understand, but also have it ...
Mar 20, 2020•23 min•Ep. 166
A parent describes her 4-year-old son as energetic, independent and strong-willed. While she appreciates her son’s enthusiasm, she struggles to reign him in and finds herself yelling, "You're not listening!" She says they often take nature walks with friends and he inevitably runs ahead at an unsafe distance. She feels overwhelmed, especially when they are out with other parents “that have high expectations for behavior." She hopes Janet can offer a way to help her son listen, but “without killi...
Mar 10, 2020•21 min•Ep. 165
Is it okay to show emotion to our kids? Is it helpful? Too unsettling? A parent has questions for Janet about modeling self-regulation and healthy emotional expression to children. She writes: “These feel like life skills that are harder to explain to your child but can be shown in practice.” So, this mom wants to be authentic, but she also wonders if exposing her own human vulnerabilities through crying or anger would be too disturbing. "I would really value your thoughts to help unravel this c...
Mar 03, 2020•18 min•Ep. 164
Nationally recognized educator and author Rick Ackerly joins Janet to discuss how parents can foster an environment that helps children thrive in school and in life. Like Janet, Rick’s own experience and interactions with thousands of kids have proven to him that children learn best in their own time, and in their own surprising ways. Rick and Janet discuss how parents can reduce their own anxieties about what and how quickly their children are learning and ultimately enjoy and appreciate them m...
Feb 18, 2020•24 min•Ep. 163
A parent shares that she is frustrated and exhausted by her son’s clingy behavior. She describes a typical evening arriving home from work to find her boy waiting by the door, insisting she drop everything to sit down and play with him. If she tries to use the restroom, put some things away or eat dinner, this often causes a tantrum with her son pulling at her hands or clothing to go back and play. This parent says both she and her partner work full time and wonders if that may be causing the se...
Feb 11, 2020•21 min•Ep. 162
Janet offers basic guidelines for responding mindfully when children get hurt, whether by accident or as the result of another child's behavior. She also addresses the specifics in a parent's note about her son's emotional responses to getting pushed or hit when she isn't close enough to prevent it. She says he seems "shocked" but fine, but he falls apart when adults surround him and express their urgent concern. “I can tell that it’s the reactions from the adults that has really upset and scare...
Jan 28, 2020•19 min•Ep. 161
Janet responds to a Facebook post from a parent who shares her personal dismay “at what children across the globe suffer and what they go without,” and she is distraught by her own children's apparent lack of gratitude and humility. While this mom admits her current mood may be the result of “post-Christmas blues,” she wants to instill these positive, empathetic traits in her own children. “How do you model this?” she asks. “I want to do better.” For more advice on common parenting issues, pleas...
Jan 21, 2020•13 min•Ep. 160
After reading Janet’s book “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame,” a parent has some practical follow-up questions about his daughter’s behaviors; specifically in regard to tantrums, mealtime boundaries, and cooperation in cleaning up her messes. This dad says there are certain “values/etiquette” he would like his daughter to learn, but he realizes these qualities must evolve organically and can’t be coerced. He describes his own upbringing as disciplinarian, and he doesn’t want to expo...
Jan 14, 2020•18 min•Ep. 159
Dr. Tina Payne Bryson joins Janet to discuss what children need most from the adults in their lives to feel securely attached, self-confident, and happy. Tina outlines the truths that scientific research and her own experience show, and then using the parenting tools she describes in her new book “The Power of Showing Up,” she and Janet address an email from a parent who’s concerned about her two-year-old daughter’s disrespectful tone of voice. For more advice on common parenting issues, please ...
Jan 07, 2020•32 min•Ep. 158
A parent writes that her toddler is very aware of his emotions and even has several strategies to cope with the negative ones. One of these strategies is going to his room by himself. While this mom is “happy that he is aware of his emotions and (usually) redirects them before causing harm or throwing a full-blown tantrum,” she struggles with how long to let him isolate. She worries she may be encouraging him to mope or empowering his sour attitude. “I wonder if we should be more assertive in ha...
Dec 30, 2019•13 min•Ep. 157
Janet responds to the parent of a 2-year-old who for the past 3 months has been “going through a really bad stage of pulling hair.” This parent describes herself as a Montessori teacher with an intense passion for gentle, respectful parenting. She has tried several strategies to change her daughter’s behavior, but to no avail. “I’m exhausted and have become extremely depressed and isolated because of this. I feel parents are judging me and not wanting to spend time with us.” She’s hoping Janet c...
Dec 17, 2019•18 min•Ep. 156
Janet shares ideas for traveling with small children that help us tune in to their perspectives, deepen our parent-child connection, and create a more joyful experience for all. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible -- FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks are also available at Amazon. E-Books are sold through Amazon, Apple Books, Google Play, and Barnes & Noble. Janet's audio series ...
Dec 11, 2019•18 min•Ep. 155
Janet welcomes back best-selling author Maggie Dent to discuss some of the particular challenges parents face in their quest to raise emotionally healthy children. "We need to let our girls know they can be strong and feisty and it's okay, and we need to know that there are times when our boys need to be vulnerable and sad, and that also needs to be okay." As we navigate our children’s moods and behaviors, Maggie believes that messy, even chaotic moments are normal in learning the dance that is ...
Dec 02, 2019•25 min•Ep. 154
In response to a parent’s question about her 4-year-old’s habit of appropriating toys and clothing that don’t belong to her, Janet illuminates the underlying causes for some other troubling -- but common -- childhood behaviors. This mom writes that she has tried to explain to her daughter why the behavior is wrong and has been hoping that she will outgrow it, but it has only gotten worse. “I know it’s not about the things,” she writes. “She rarely cares about the thing once she’s brought it home...
Nov 20, 2019•17 min•Ep. 153
A parent understands and supports Janet’s advice about accepting and holding space for her kids’ feelings, but she struggles to put it into practice. She describes herself as a highly verbal person and finds herself uncomfortable remaining silent in these moments. And often, when she does acknowledge her 5-year-old’s feelings, her child just gets more upset. This mom is seeking “some concrete examples of what acknowledging and allowing feelings actually looks like when my kids are expressing big...
Oct 30, 2019•20 min•Ep. 152
3 experts – 1 microphone… Janet is joined in a lively discussion by family counselor Susan Stiffelman and best-selling parenting author Maggie Dent. Together they explore some of the common issues affecting our children’s behaviors and offer steps parents can take to understand and address them. How do we respond when our child’s behavior seems problematic? Is it a reflection on us? And how do we communicate with our child to untangle what’s really going on and address the root cause? For more a...
Oct 16, 2019•31 min•Ep. 151
A parent is perplexed that her 4-year-old continually engages her in made up stories where the protagonist is in physical danger, sick, “does a bad thing,” is mean, or had to call the police. While this mom believes her child's interests are generally innocent, they've continued relentlessly for 6 months and she's becoming exasperated. “Is this normal exploration?” she wonders. “How do we handle it?” For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audib...
Oct 08, 2019•19 min•Ep. 150
In this episode: Janet welcomes Dr. Mona Delahooke, a pediatric psychologist who works with children and teens with behavioral challenges and developmental differences. Mona’s compassionate approach to therapy is based on brain science. She describes disruptive behaviors as “just the tip of the iceberg,” important signals a child may be sending that are symptoms of an underlying issue. This is common ground for Janet, as she has long held that many behaviors which parents deem negative are rarel...
Oct 01, 2019•26 min•Ep. 149
Janet responds to a question from a caregiver who says the family she works for is interested in teaching their son ABCs and other lessons. The child is sometimes disinterested and refuses to participate, and she wonders: “Is there a respectful approach to teaching children?” Janet responds with an alternative perspective on early childhood learning that focuses on providing the best foundation possible for children to develop their innate abilities and a lifelong love of learning. Paperbacks an...
Sep 11, 2019•20 min•Ep. 148
Janet addresses two emails with the same theme. Both questions concern two-year-olds who exhibit challenging behaviors when their parents are physically unable to intervene. One mom writes about her son's toy throwing: “He sees that I’m nursing the baby, or that my hands are full with dinner, and he’s frustrated that he doesn’t have my attention.” The other mom says that she has physical challenges: “And of course my smart kid has figured out that it’s easy to lash out on days when I am physical...
Sep 05, 2019•23 min•Ep. 147
A parent wonders if the praise her children are receiving is unproductive and could make them feel pressured to "meet the expectations of whatever a compliment implies.” While this mom acknowledges she’s dealing in subtleties, she’s wondering if Janet has any insights. For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible, FREE with a 30-day trial membership if you use this link: adbl.co/2OBVztZ. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon. Also, J...
Aug 21, 2019•18 min•Ep. 146
A parent describes her 3-year-old as a firecracker. “He is full of life and joy and attitude!” While she appreciates his energy, there are times when he gets too wound up and is no longer “in himself.” He often becomes overly physical with his 17-month-old brother and even hits adults. She says when he’s in this zone, words have no effect, and she feels the only way to deal with him by putting him in his room. This mum’s wondering if she’s doing the right thing or if Janet might have some other ...
Jul 31, 2019•16 min•Ep. 145
A parent wants to give her toddler the freedom to work out struggles with other kids, but because of their busy urban environment, parent and child tend to be in close quarters. She says of her son and his playmates: “They look right at us expecting, needing, wanting our help.” To this mom, it seems the children believe their parents are “purposefully watching them struggle and kind of laughing at them by not helping.” She’s wondering how it’s possible to allow the struggle while still assuring ...
Jul 17, 2019•24 min•Ep. 144
