Hello, hello, and welcome to this week's episode of relationships rule. I am thrilled to have with me today, St. Rappaport, who actually we met on LinkedIn. And I always love that because I start from scratch and then I meet a new connection who turns into a relationship and who knows where it's gonna go. And this is where it led us. First and foremost. So first of all, welcome to the show. S T.
Oh, thank you so much, Janice. I'm super excited, really excited to be here.
I can't not ask this question because I'm all about names. And I'm all about sort of word oranges, origins and people's origins. So I have to first say is your first and second name s start with St. Is it something that was because your name is hard to pronounce? Or was it a nickname that how did you come up with S T?
Yeah, so my name is SD. Like four letters es T Iris to buy. Like Estee like Estee Lauder. Just impressed. Yes. spelled differently. Right. Exactly. Um, but when I was in school, I decided four letters was too long. And so it didn't make my teachers happy. But oh, so
that long ago that long? Because I think SD is third or fourth grade. Already named es TI. It's very pretty. Does it? How does it mean? What does it mean? And what language did that come from?
It's from Esther from keeper.
Yes. That's what I thought, Okay. Because my grandma's name was Esther. Yeah, they called her se, e s. S i e. And I don't know if if you know this, but in the Jewish religion, when you when you name a child, you, you have to name them after someone who's deceased, not someone who's living right. Not like John Jr. So I wanted to name my daughter after my grandma. But who died when I was very young. But SE and Esther didn't work for me at that point. Hang on. So I was
looking to name my daughter after my grandma. But I didn't like the name Esther or SE. It was very old fashioned at the time, I guess. So I just used the initial offer name and her middle name. My daughter's middle name is Aaron. And that's what we do a lot. I don't know if that worked in your family the same way. But that's how we sort of took those name names forward and remembered the people in our family who are gone. So yeah, that's good. But that's, I'm glad I asked because
I know that's kind of interesting. And the other thing I wanted to ask you is now I've forgotten where you live. You live in Florida, right? Of course they just address you live in Florida, but you're not from Are you from Florida originally? No, I grew up in New Jersey. Okay, okay, but you're
American. You are American. I am American. Yeah. Okay. So tell me a little bit about I'm going to give a little bit of a blurb that I know about you that you are and your title, a brain engineer who works with ADHD entrepreneurs to unleash their potential via peak brain performance. And you assist them to optimize that ADHD so they can remove that overwhelm, get more done in less time, and enjoy growing their business
again. I think what attracted me in the first place was the ADHD piece, because I believe that the older I've gotten, the more as I say, a DD or ADHD I've become, but I now have a granddaughter who has ADHD. And so I'm learning more about that, that how their brain functions. And first of all, how did you get into this? And tell me a little bit more about it?
Yeah, so I've never been diagnosed with ADHD, but my mom's ADHD, I've got brothers that are ready to eat, like, grew up in a family really high, high energy of ADHD. And so I've been learning about it since I was a really, really young kid. But essentially, I've been studying brains and brain science and how our brains think and function for a bit more than eight years now. And the more I got into it, the more I realized
it really helped people with ADHD. i It really hurt me that a lot of what gets spoken about about ADHD is yes, people talk about the superpower. But what people also talk a lot about when it comes to ADHD is like, what a person can or cannot do. Like they'll always struggle with time or they'll always be distracted and they're like, you're gonna deal with the fact that this is how it's always gonna be like And to me, that
sounds very limiting. I'm not the same person I was five years ago, and I'm not going to be the same person that it was in five years. And anyone with ADHD is the same thing. And so I really want got, like with my work was able to see how it really helped people get rid of those struggles and ADHD could just be a superpower without those limitations.
Hmm. So first thing that came to mind when you said in your background, you have family members who have been diagnosed with ADHD, did you get tested for it too? Or just they didn't?
Yeah, I just never got tested for it. I'm most definitely like ADHD traits or tendencies, I guess. Probably just like, it's a bit of a spectrum, I guess. Right. Like, how much ADHD right? Compared to the other people in my family? It was a lot.
Okay, because every time I've listened to you on, you know, I've listened to some snippets of you on podcasts and things you talk really fast. Right? And well, for my family. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Okay, interesting. And the other thing I thought was fascinating was that you didn't start reading till you were five.
I was still going for reading tutors in fifth grade.
I mean, was it Einstein that didn't read until he was seven or something or didn't?
Yeah, I was reading an eight 910 11. But it's really took me to like, did this work at 11 years old, working on my brain that like I was able to read like, fluidly and not being shy about it and things like that.
Did you find it frustrating? Before that,
I was very frustrated. I was super shy about it, I found it. Like, I would have to find all different techniques and like tactics to like work around it. So I couldn't so like say I learned from a really young age to like skim books, because like I still wanted to read because I could read some words, but like old big words I couldn't read. So till this day, like if I don't force myself to stop and read, I'm just going to skim and have a really low vocabulary spelling
was really bad. Like I got made fun of a lot of it for me, I never want to be that holdout, which are like us to read. So yeah, it wasn't it wasn't very funny.
Well, and, and it's like, I was a teacher. And so I know, it's not easy to and I look, and I watch my granddaughter, she's in a hurry to do everything. But when it comes to trying to like to she only four and a half. So she's, you know, she's still learning about words, and so on as well. But she'd much rather be physical than sit and try and read or try and, you know, do it. But she's got some interesting concepts that she has, which are kind of cool. But
okay, so you got into this peak brain performance. And I think you say you have there are 28 brain functions. That
skills. Yeah, right skills,
sorry, 28 skills. You say it better than I do. So explain it to me. Yeah.
So there are 28 thinking skills. Or another name for them is cognitive functions. I just like to say skills because they're a little bit simpler. But essentially, we tend to think of thinking as like, oh, now I'm thinking, we're really while you're doing any task, including listening to this podcast, you're thinking your brain is processing your brain saying like, how is this relevant to my life? How is this
not what do I like this to it? All that is thinking, driving your brain is thinking, figuring out can I turn can I not running, talking to a person talking to a client, all that is thinking, right? And though those parts of thinking are, there's 28 of these parts that make up these actions. Now, naturally, we will have stronger ones and weaker ones, I mean, like with 28 of them, some of them are going to be stronger,
right? And some of them are going to be weaker. And those weaker ones are making it really challenging for us to do what we
want to do. So I'll give you an example. I was just speaking today to an entrepreneur who was saying how a lot of times he's struggling with employees and with colleagues because it takes him a really long to express himself and relationships are really hard for him to build because he right he they asked one question, and he sends back like four long paragraphs or something that could be in like one sentence, and they're like, I don't get this. That comes from thinking skills,
specifically, this case is guns. It's called giving up before response, being able to express yourself in a clear and cohesive manner.
Yep. Okay. So what are some of the most common issues that people come to you with who say, you know, my business is just, I'm all over the map. I can't find I can't move forward because you know, I can't function properly. What are the like three most common things that people come to you to help get help with?
Yeah. so big on just like you said all over the map all over the place, things are just over the super overwhelmed whenever there's a lot of information getting overwhelmed struggling to get started on task because they're just like way too much information. It's cold, nothing is skilled that is related to guys called clear perception. Okay? Essentially, we take in information through our five senses. So you're now taking in this podcast or listening right?
When you touch something, you're picking information through your sense of touch. Most of the time, the information coming into your brain is coming in in a clear and organized way. But if there's a lot of information coming in, you get a becomes blurry, and it becomes overwhelmed. And we just want to not do it ever opened up a room open the door to a really messy room that you know, you needed to clean. But instead of going in to clean it, you just went out and close the door. Yep.
I always say to myself, I have to be in the mood or be ready to tackle that task. Yeah,
actually is Why do you have to be ready because your brain has to be ready to deal with information overload that is about to enter your brain. However, the stronger this thinking skill of clear perception is, the more information you can take in without overwhelming you.
So I was listening to you, on my walk the other day talking. It was your more recent episodes where you're using samples, and stories of people that you've actually worked with. And I think you might say then to that, you know, try doing one more thing and try doing two things like you have a method for helping people very quickly with moving through that. Yes, yeah. Can you give me one of those examples in this year?
Sure. Excited, okay, so because we use our five senses, to take in information, we're going to help our brain picking this information through our five senses in a clear and organized way. So we're gonna go through the five senses, and ask ourselves, what do I see? And literally list out say out loud, what you see, you open that room, I see laundry, I see
papers, I see pens, and what is happening is there. As you're listing it out, your brain is able to take in the information, one by one, instead of just being overwhelmed by this massive mess. After you list out a bunch of things that you see, what do you hear, Oh, I hear the AC is on I hear the cars outside? What do I hear? What do I smell? What do I feel? And what do I taste tastes will probably just be like your saliva unless you just drink coffee or something, you know,
like, by just to go through those five senses. And then your brain is not overwhelmed anymore. And you can ask yourself the question, What's my starting point? What's the first thing you need to do? Just like that, and you will find yourself picking up garbage, you will find yourself putting papers away, you will find yourself being able to do it because your brain is just not overwhelmed anymore by the amount of information is coming is much more clear organized. The cool
part is here's where the cool part is. If you do it enough times, you won't have to do anymore.
Because it's changing how you think. Changing that cognitive function. You got it? Yeah. Okay, interesting. Okay, so the overwhelm is one, one piece that an entrepreneur might come to you with? What's another one?
Okay, this is another one. That's going to be very surprising for many of you. Do you ever struggle to make decisions? or know someone who does?
Oh, my, yeah. Not me so much as my husband and one of my daughters. Yeah, you could die before they make a decision. Yeah.
That comes from the cognitive function of comparisons. Because what happens most times when we're talking about two options, we say, I like option A, because it's cheaper. I like option B, because it's bigger. But what it's talking about price, it's talking about size. You are not comparing them on the same
level. Apples to Apples, right?
Yeah, there you go. I see. You're really strong at this cognitive function.
Okay, well, that's encouraging. Okay, I have my own issues. But there you go. Okay. So I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm
going to do all have ones that we can write. Because there's like no such thing as like having a perfect brain, you know, these optimize your brain more, right? Anyway, so back to comparisons. So if you want to improve this cognitive function of comparisons to make better decisions, to organize your life better, any of that sort of thing, you want to take two items and compare them on the same parameter. Okay, so list out all the things that you want
to compare it on. Price size, texture, manufacturer, whatever it is, yeah. And then you're making your decision based on which parameter is most important to get clear on what's most important, you don't walk into the customer into the comparison and say, oh, a is cheaper, and b is bigger. But you know, this situation, size matters to me more. And so I can buy the bigger one without a be a whole, like, big deal. Because you know, size is important. Obviously, size is important,
too. And amount, if it's like a million dollars more than like, no, but like you understand you have that priorities is really clear in your brain with the comparisons. So to actually get better at this, you want to take two random things you have in your house to rent a thing next to you a pen and a phone or whatever. And just compare them on the same level, but a bunch of different attributes a bunch of different parameters, color, size, texture, weight, whatever you could think of, and then
fill it out for each other. Once you've comfortable doing two things, compare three things, and four things. And you can make this even more challenging by comparing abstract things, not just things you have in your, in your, like on your, on your desk around you, but like what about two tasks that you have to do? Or what about two personality traits or to potential hierarchies, or things like that.
So I keep coming back to, if I'm comparing these things, especially in the the, the objects to things that I maybe want to purchase, or whatever, I tend to come back to and maybe this is just a different way of thinking of it? I don't know. But rather than comparing them for what they are, I have to come inside myself and say, Do I really need this? Do I need the one that's bigger? Do I need? You know, like, it's not comparing the two objects, but it's like, let's be
real with. Okay, go ahead. Yeah.
Okay. So essentially, what there's, there's, there's two steps to this comparison, there's comparing the two objects, and there's getting clear on what attributes are most important to you. Okay, that also applies. So that's what you're doing by going inside, you're getting clear on it. But that is also comparing because you're comparing the attributes of like, by saying, Do I really need the big one, you're comparing the attribute of like, size to Prime Minister, whatever it is,
yeah, yeah. It's fascinating, really, actually. But that kind of breaks it down. Maybe those those listeners who struggle with things like making decisions might be able to grasp onto something simple like that, to make it easier for themselves. So that's great. Okay, so we talked about the comparison, we talked about the first one, which which is completely left my head at the moment now. So
right, that what was it? clear perception? It's
your perception. And that, yes, and what's the third one that's most common? A third one,
especially with ADHD, really, really, really big. One is understanding time, big word and the ADHD world is time blindness, and not realizing how long tasks how, how long a task takes always running late to appointments, leaving tasks for last minute, anything related to time, falls under this cognitive function of time. Now, you mentioned Einstein in the beginning. Well, ADHD is then also struggle with time and always said that time is one of the most abstract
things. And one of the most complex things for our brain to understand, because it is very abstract. But he didn't say it's impossible, it is possible, you it's just a little bit more challenging. So some of my favorite ways to get better at this cognitive functions, or to start getting better, I should say, is you want to buy those big, huge desktop calendars, those big ones, yeah, and hang them up on the wall in front of you. But not just for this month, for the next 234 or even
five or six months. Because what's going to happen is it's going to train your brain to be able to look ahead, and as you put important dates on there, and in meetings and different things that you're happening, who you meeting, when it's going to start giving your brain and understanding of like, oh, this is next week. And if that's happening next week, I need to do this task before such when it's visual in front of you, it makes a much it makes it more concrete, right because times
abstract. You're making it concrete by putting it on an actual physical count. Another thing that you can really do is that often people with ADHD tend to either over us Somebody no longer task is going to take or underestimate how long a task is going to take. So help your brain actually understand it for the next week, time, all the tasks that you do often, how long does a Zoom meeting with a new potential client? Actually take you? Or
have to take? Right? That's like you said, yeah, exactly. Yes,
exactly. And obviously, there's gonna be average, right? Because like, sometimes it's gonna be a little bit longer. So you time a few, when you get an average, how long does it actually take you to take a shower, or to put up dinner and then if like, You're five minutes before, you have to run up the door for an appointment, and you're like, oh, I want to just put up dinner. But now you know that putting up dinner doesn't take five minutes, it takes more like
20, then it's like, oh, I actually can start this now. And you'll be on time for your career.
That's a good one for me actually, to look at. It was interesting, I got a call last night, from somebody I hadn't talked to for a long, long time. And I didn't know him that well. And I had called him about something and left a message. And he had called me back a couple of days later. And so we were having this conversation, I needed to ask him something that he could refer me to somebody to help with. And we got into the conversation, you know, how's
your family? You know, what are you up to? And we did all that and the niceties and, and then I asked him, and then I felt a lull, I felt like, the conversation was kind of done, but we didn't like he didn't say anything else. So I found that I had to say that so great that you were able to help me, thank you so much. And, you know, let's get together for coffee book something maybe next week or the week after. And that was kind of ending it and helping him know that it was ending it.
You know, like, sometimes you have to take control of those things, because they can give awkward. Right? I know, it's just an aside, but it is sort of hit me as
part of the relationships part. You know, of course, you understand their way the other energy and see like, what's actually happening here. Yeah, and
as far as the time thing, it's interesting. My, my little granddaughter, she of course, once she gets hold of an iPad, she wants to be on it forever, because she's just a kid of the 21st century, right. And she, it actually calms her down, which is really kind of cool. But we have to limit it, right? Because she could sit on it. So we'll say, you know, Amara, you can play on the iPad now, because I know that she's been out riding her bike for three hours, and she's just
needs to sit down and calm down. But, but I'm going to put the timer on 20 minutes. That's it. So because she'll go, Oh, can you just have 10 more minutes, grandma 10 more minutes or whatever, right? And she'll push it and push it and push it. But she at least gets a sense of the timeframe when the timer goes off. So it works sometimes.
No, well, you're she's still young. And yes, of course. Yes. Right. And also, it's not just understanding the time. It's like the negotiation, right. Like it's exactly. It's fun. It's not like, oh, yeah, if I told her to clean her room for 10 more minutes. Yeah, exactly.
I know. I know, she loved. It's just interesting, though, to watch how that brain works. But so do you? Do you see when you're talking to maybe you're networking, or maybe you're actually doing some prospecting calls? And you know, Discovery calls or whatever? Do you notice if someone has ADHD? Can you pick it up pretty quickly?
Yes. So I personally don't love to just like label people ADHD.
And I understand that, yeah, I Yeah.
But especially if I'm looking to help them right, like a potential client or something, then I'm looking to see which one of their thinking skills are weak. Now, people with ADHD often tend to have similar weak thinking skills,
including the three that we just said. And so I'm not diagnosing and I'm not a physician diagnosed, but most definitely, I'm looking more at the skills and what I like about the skills is because they're skills, that means you can learn them by just saying a person who has ADHD, it's like, okay, now well, you know
what happened? And
we're here, but he's talking the whole time. You know, I
know, I know. And that says, I'm saying skills. Talk about a lot, right? That's so funny. Okay, so no, I was actually just taking a quick look because I couldn't remember what your education was actually in. And and then I remembered that you had been a photographer. And that would give you a whole different perspective on people. So how did you go from that to what you're doing now?
Okay, so I I've never actually thought that I'd be doing what I'm doing. Now, I'd like I said, I thought that when I was 11, I was in the band. And I saw how much like, even as 11 year old, I saw how much to change me, not just in my reading, but like my whole life. And so I knew how to live and I want to to learn it, but just to learn it because I love learning. And I'm like, I want to have this in my back pocket. But I started at 14, I think was my first photography business.
And I've been doing photography in college, like I went to the studio when I had overtop of the business. But I started this training. When I started this training. This is the four years being training, yes. Okay. Now, the forest scene training is quite a process of a training, right? And takes time and like to really get into it. And so I would do the training while I was also doing photography business, and there was a story how deep do you want me to go into it?
Not too deep at this point. Yeah. Okay. So essentially, what
I realized was at that point that I had another like, massive transformation. And I realized that successful people need this also. Because there's a lot of like, right, like, until then, I thought it was like only for people with learning disabilities, or children or things like that. And I was like, people with businesses need this because I literally started saving over 10 hours every week from like,
another improved cognitive function. And like, my business, like, doubled and tripled, and it was like, changed everything. And that's when I was like, other people could be photographers, like, I'm gonna go do this. Oh,
interesting. Interesting. Well, it's fascinating, really, and people can read I think more about you and your work on your website, right, which is still lifepics. University. Yes, yes. Yeah. And before we go, I want to ask you a couple of quick questions that I like to ask a form of to my guests. And one I want to ask you first is because of what you said earlier, when you are taking in information do you prefer to? And I'm sure the answer is no, but I could be
completely wrong. Do you prefer to read Listen, or watch? like reading books, reading, you know, versus videos versus podcasts? That kind of thing? Honestly, it
depends what, what my like goal is like what I'm trying to do. Um, the best way to get it in is actually listening and reading at the same time. Okay. Okay. Yeah. You're getting both, but not always. Is that possible, right. Like I usually, like usually more about, like, how can I learn more in this moment? So if I'm driving like, yes.
Yeah. Like that. Yeah. Okay. That's like me, I like to do that, too. But it's funny, I bought a book the other day that someone had I'd seen someone told me about, and I'm all about relationships in this book that's really interesting about that, but easy enough to read, because it had stories in it about people. And I started reading it. But only like, I can't read it when I'm out walking, or I'm, you know, so.
So I'm reading it before I go to bed. And I'm not sure I'm getting enough out of it, because I'm tired at that time. So that sort of affects my reading time as well, because I there's too much to do during the day. Anyway, that's another thing I have to figure out. The second question I'd like to ask you, and then I have one more after that is what is your take on curiosity? Do you think it's innate or learned? And second part to that question is what are you most curious about these days? Okay.
I personally think that we are all it's innate, real born with curiosity. That's how we learn. But I think it gets destroyed. Okay. And I am most curious about humans, everything about human so the human brain, human biology, human relationships, human interactions, all of that, but But you mind just fascinate me so much. All right.
That's fair enough. That's awesome. And last question, would be just what is your best piece of business advice for the entrepreneurs who are listening today?
Okay, I think that you want your brain or you want yourself to be able to do contradicting strategies and to be able to develop the skill to learn what to know, when giving an example. You want to be able to, like, just take action and not get stuck and like move in and take action. At the same time. You also want to have this skill and ability to stop, to think, to strategize to figure out what I'm going to do. But you can be really good at both of those. But if you don't know
which one to do when it doesn't help you. So learn contradicting strategies and learn and develop the skill to figure out what to do one.
Right advice. Very, very good. This is so much fun. Thank you so much for stopping by today, and for answering all my questions. and sharing your knowledge around the the font, the 28 cognitive brain functions right? And the skills around them. So that's really that's really fun. So, thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you to my audience for being here. And if you liked what you heard, please leave a review and share it with a couple of friends because we
love to spread the word about people like St. Rapoport. So thank you so much and remember to stay connected and be remembered. Thank you, Janice. This was fun.