Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, is a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy created by psychologist Marsha Linehan in the early 1980s. It’s an evidence-based, highly successful type of therapy used to help people regulate intense emotions and improve their relationships. What does this have to do with problem-solving? Well, in all its brilliance, DBT outlines four ways to solve any problem and I’ve been using this strategy with great success with all my clients. These four ways to solve any ...
Sep 25, 2023•55 min•Season 6Ep. 256
OK, when I hear the words self-love, I want to throw up in my mouth a little because I’m thinking of some Brené Brown quote needlepointed onto a pillow or a bunch of people in a drum circle chanting “I am worthy.” Today we’re taking self-love out of the woo and putting it directly into the real world of improving your physical, psychological, and spiritual well-being. Stay tuned as I discuss how it’s different from self-care, narcissism, and self-compassion and my top five tips for getting it ri...
Sep 18, 2023•51 min•Season 255Ep. 6
We know from the research that having intimate relationships is the key to mental and physical health. But what exactly qualifies as intimacy? Today I’ll teach you what intimacy really is and the seven habits of intimate relationships, backed by research, so you can build connection, joy, and ease in all your relationships. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/the-seven-habits-of-intimate-relationships-backed-by-research 👉 Watch my TEDx talk to Learn th...
Sep 11, 2023•55 min•Season 6Ep. 254
We know from the research that the biggest predictor of a happy (and long!) life comes down to the quality of your relationships. And, as much as we all want to focus on romance, there are many important relationships in your life that deserve your intention and attention. Today, I’m going to teach you the five philosophies to focus on to create fulfillment, peace, and joy in all your relationships. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/focus-on-these-fiv...
Sep 04, 2023•1 hr 1 min•Season 6Ep. 253
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Great relationships aren’t built in a day. Great relationships are built daily. While date nights and vacations are wonderful, either we don’t do those often enough to keep emotional intimacy going, or there’s so much pressure to have fun and connect they can do the opposite. What’s the answer? Instead of focusing on date nights, focus on daily micro-connections to create real connection and closeness. Today, I’m sharing my top 10 micro-connection tips...
Aug 28, 2023•48 min•Season 6Ep. 252
Love bombing gets a lot of attention and is usually discussed alongside narcissism or when we discuss trauma bonding. But what I’ve seen more often in my over 35 years of experience is something I call Attention Flooding, which can look like love bombing, but its origins are actually from codependency and feelings of low self-worth. Today I’m teaching you the difference between love bombing and Attention Flooding, the signs to look for, and my top three tips for building healthier and more fulfi...
Aug 21, 2023•59 min•Season 6Ep. 251
Whether you identify as a Millennial, Gen X, or even Gen Z, the quarter-life crisis can have you feeling stuck in work and love. In today’s bonus episode, I’m speaking with expert and author Tess Brigham. You’ll learn why the quarter-life crisis is a real thing and her four-step method for finding your groove. ____________________________ Show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/conquering-your-quarter-life-crisis Check out Tess’ book, “True You: A Step-by-Step Guide to Conquering Your Quarter-Life C...
Jul 31, 2023•1 hr 18 min•Season 5Ep. 250
Today I’m celebrating the 250th episode of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast, and I’m closing out our fifth season with some big love! Today you’re going to learn one of the foundations of a happy, fulfilled life rich with confidence, connection, and ease: resilience. The good news is that resilience is a skill you can learn, and people in resilient relationships report more ease, satisfaction, contentment, physical health, and connection. So, hang out with me today while I break down what res...
Jul 24, 2023•43 min•Season 5Ep. 250
You’ve tried being easy-going and flexible, and you’ve tried being clear and firm, but nothing has worked when it comes to co-parenting with your ex, and I can tell you why: You’re trying to do the impossible. If your ex is narcissistic, abusive, controlling, rageful, or in some other way toxic, your efforts at any reasonable co-parenting will be thwarted. But you don’t need to give up because there is something you can do, and it’s called parallel parenting. Today I’m going to teach you all abo...
Jul 17, 2023•55 min•Season 5Ep. 249
When you’re single, you get to make 100% of your decisions, from what color you paint your bedroom to how much you spend on eating out every week. But if you want to make a long-term, committed relationship work, the majority of your decisions now need to be shared because just about every decision you make affects your partner. The problem is that decision-making in a couple often boils down to arguments that devolve into one person acquiescing or both sides thinking they’re “meeting in the mid...
Jul 10, 2023•47 min•Season 5Ep. 248
Last week I taught how to deal with a loved one with ADHD. You learned what exactly ADHD is and how it’s diagnosed, what causes it, and my 12 steps to finding connection and peace if your partner has ADHD. Today I’ll talk about the top five problems you’ll likely face at work (whether that’s at home or in an office) if you have ADHD and my top tools to deal with each. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/adult-adhd-at-work-how-to-get-shit-done Grab my FR...
Jul 03, 2023•1 hr 2 min•Season 5Ep. 247
Your partner said they’d be home by 6:00 but showed up at 8:30 because they got caught up in something and lost track of the time (again). Your partner zoned out (yet again) during an important conversation, and you’re left feeling unloved and unimportant. Your partner promised to figure out vacation plans but now says you never even had that conversation, and they never promised anything! You love someone who is distracted, disorganized, and impulsive. Yup, your partner has attention-deficit hy...
Jun 26, 2023•55 min•Season 5Ep. 246
Why do we want to date people who are bad for us? Why do we get into relationships with people that bring out our worst, most unhealthy selves? Today I’m teaching you the top four reasons why you chase toxic relationships and unavailable partners and three tips to help you stop. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-people-chase-toxic-relationships-and-unavailable-partners Grab my FREE Meditation Starter Kit: https://abbymedcalf.com/product/meditation...
Jun 19, 2023•40 min•Season 5Ep. 245
Ahhh, that annoying (I mean difficult) coworker. You know the one… they get under your skin every time you interact with them. Today I’m going to teach you the top seven difficult types of coworkers and my effective tools to deal with each one. It’s time to move from frustrated and stuck to more connected and collaborative. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-deal-with-annoying-i-mean-difficult-coworkers Download my FREE I Feel Formula! https://a...
Jun 12, 2023•1 hr•Season 5Ep. 244
Relationship OCD, or R-OCD, is a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder where people experience intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors related to worries, fears, and doubts in their relationships. While R-OCD can apply to any kind of relationship, we’re going to focus on romantic ones. Today I’ll be teaching you what exactly Relationship OCD is, why you might have it, and the top evidence-based ways to make lasting change. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abb...
Jun 05, 2023•47 min•Season 5Ep. 243
We all want to have connected, happy and fulfilling relationships with the important people in our lives. The problem is that we often feel frustrated, resentful, and annoyed with those very same people! How do we get from irritated to connected? Today I’m teaching you the six habits to make all your relationships successful. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/six-habits-to-make-all-your-relationships-successful Grab my FREE list of Collaborative Quest...
May 29, 2023•59 min•Season 5Ep. 242
Someone has done you wrong and you can’t let it go. You’ve tried to breathe, meditate, or find closure, but nothing seems to work long-term. Maybe you even have moments of relief, but before long, you’re back to bitter thoughts of this person or situation taking up prime real estate in your mind. If left unchecked, resentment will poison your life and happiness. But what to do? Today I’m teaching you how you’ve been approaching resentment all wrong and the one evidence-based way to get it right....
May 22, 2023•56 min•Season 5Ep. 241
How do you get past your partner changing the rules of your relationship? Maybe they quit smoking when you first got together but then started again two years in. Maybe they gained weight and no longer care about a healthier lifestyle. Maybe you’ve had kids, and now they don’t want to have sex as often, or they promised to be a stay-at-home mom and now want to go back to work? What do you do when your partner is doing something now that would have been a deal breaker before you moved in together...
May 15, 2023•36 min•Season 5Ep. 240
There’s a big difference between being controlling and being in control. Being in control is awesome. It means you’re self-aware, confident, and have strong self-esteem. But being controlling is the opposite. It’s an unhealthy sign that your self-esteem is rocky, and that fear is running the show. Today I’m going to teach you the three reasons you’ve got control issues and my top five tips for finding peace and security within yourself. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: http...
May 08, 2023•1 hr 10 min•Season 5Ep. 239
Controlling people can show up anywhere in your life: romance, friendships, work, or your good old dad. Sometimes these people are well-meaning, but it’s driving you crazy! They’re always telling you what to do, and there are two ways of doing things: their way and the wrong way. They say they’re “just trying to be helpful,” but you often walk away feeling resentful, frustrated, drained, or even depressed. Today we’re going to turn that around! In this episode, you’ll learn the six main categori...
May 01, 2023•58 min•Season 5Ep. 238
Back in the day, I thought journaling was either for those crunchy granola types or people wanting to grab a teddy bear and find their inner child, so it was something I decided early on wasn’t for me. But, like many things in life, I couldn’t have been more wrong! The research has shown that journaling can reduce depression, anxiety, and negative thoughts while also boosting your immune system and physical health! And it’s the cheapest form of therapy you’ll find! I’ve become a convert, and I w...
Apr 24, 2023•55 min•Season 5Ep. 237
I’ve spoken previously about self-acceptance and self-esteem, and today we’re going to go deep on self-love. We’ll talk about the differences between these three terms (and how they relate), and then you’ll learn my top five ways to cultivate self-love so you can start having the relationships and life you so richly deserve. ____________________________ Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/five-ways-to-cultivate-self-love Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podc...
Apr 17, 2023•58 min•Season 5Ep. 236
You say you’re going to start waking up earlier to have a healthier start to your day, but then you stay up all night binging Wednesday on Netflix and sleep through your alarm. You’re finally in a great relationship, but you keep finding fault with your partner. You say you want to go to graduate school, but you keep missing the deadlines for application. Self-sabotaging behavior can strike anywhere in our lives, leaving us feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, depressed and anxious. Today we’re talk...
Apr 10, 2023•45 min•Season 5Ep. 235
Trauma bonding was identified over 40 years ago, but it’s easy to dismiss if you don’t think you’ve ever had trauma. Are you experiencing trauma bonding but don’t realize it? Do you have repeating unhealthy patterns, miscommunications, or consistent frustration or dissatisfaction with your partner? Today I’ll teach you the seven stages of trauma bonding and how to know if this applies to you so you can create more peace and ease in your relationships. ____________________________ Full blog and s...
Apr 03, 2023•49 min•Season 5Ep. 234
Whether you call it criticism or judgment, this kind of feedback never feels good. But what do you do when you’re dealing with someone who always seems to be belittling, condemning, or finding fault with everything you say or do? When the feedback feels harsh or disapproving, how do you say something without sounding defensive? Today you’ll learn why people are critical and my top five strategies to gain peace and boundaries in the face of criticism and judgment. ____________________________ Ful...
Mar 27, 2023•1 hr 6 min•Season 5Ep. 233
We’ve all been there. You’ve been working on yourself and acting in a more healthy way with your partner, parent, or friend. But then you slip up, even a little, and suddenly they’re reminding you of that thing you did five years ago that hurt them. WTF?! Are they always going to throw your past behavior in your face no matter how many changes you’ve made? Are you feeling frustrated because you’re trying so hard in the present to be healthy, but they just won’t let the past go? I’m here to help!...
Mar 20, 2023•53 min•Season 5Ep. 232
Negotiating in relationships can be tough. When we’re trying to find common ground, but we’ve got different points of view, there’s a feeling of competition which means there’s an underlying winning and losing mentality going on. With this mindset, each person walks away feeling like they gave up more than they wanted, which leads to disconnection, resentment, and frustration. But today, we’re going to change all that because you’re going to learn my five steps to effective negotiation in all yo...
Mar 13, 2023•57 min•Season 5Ep. 231
Spirituality in a relationship isn’t just about whether you go to temple, church, or mosque together. What we believe (or don’t) either religiously or spiritually touches everything from how we spend our time and money to how we raise our children and even what friendships we keep. Today I’m going to talk about the common mistakes couples make when there are different religions or spiritual beliefs (and I made every one of these mistakes myself, by the way), my top three action tips, and I’ve go...
Mar 07, 2023•40 min•Season 5Ep. 230
Every relationship has some form of manipulation. Unless you’re the most self-actualized being in the Universe (and I think you’d be off floating on a cloud somewhere and not listening to me right now), you are sometimes manipulative and sometimes on the receiving end of manipulation. Today, we’re going to talk about the subtle signs as well as the big warning flags. Then we’ll talk about why people manipulate, why you put up with it, and how to make it stop. ____________________________ Full bl...
Feb 28, 2023•1 hr 1 min•Season 5Ep. 229
They’re messy, and you’re neat. They’re a saver, and you’re a spender. They’re a free spirit, and you like things to run on a schedule. You’re a homebody, but your partner always wants to be out with people. The idea that opposites attract has been around for centuries, but is it true? And, whether it’s true or not, how the hell can you find a way to happily coexist with someone when there are so many places you don’t align? Today I’m answering all those questions and teaching you my three-step ...
Feb 21, 2023•54 min•Season 5Ep. 228
