Feeling Like A Fraud? Understanding The Imposter Syndrome. “I feel like a fake”. “I must not fail”. “I just got lucky”. “I hope nobody ever finds out who I really am”. If this is some of your inner dialogue, you may be experiencing the phenomenon, “The Imposter Syndrome”. Don’t worry you are not alone. Studies show that an estimated 70% of people experience these impostor feelings at some point in their lives. In this episode I have a conversation with a returning guest, a colleague and good fri...
Dec 21, 2021•46 min•Ep. 150
Aftermath of a Fight or Regrettable Incident Most people do not have a good way to process the conflicts and fights after the fact. Typical attempts not only fall flight but most of the time spiral right back into the unproductive and disconnecting experience instead of healing and connecting ways. In this episode my wife Yvonne Rainbow and I explore ways we have and do handle the aftermath of fights or conflicts we experience. We also discuss the modeling that each of us have experienced in our...
Dec 07, 2021•58 min•Ep. 149
In this solocast I talk about the importance of everyday transitions. We have so many of them throughout our day; waking up, leaving the house, coming home, going to sleep, etc. How do you interact with your loved ones during these moments? When we prioritize “showing up” and being present, our connection in those moments feed not only the energy of our interactions but the level of intimacy of our relationships. “Learn to do transitions well in your relationships, they can become the sweetest m...
Nov 16, 2021•28 min•Ep. 148
Love Addiction Moe Bruce is passionate about investing in deep and meaningful connections and intimacy, engaging with others, building relationships, and being present in the moment. For 20 years, she has been a coach and consultant for CEOs and global leaders in large and small international organizations and has built profound connections with strangers throughout America and Europe. She’s always had a deep curiosity about how people live their lives as well as what she can learn from them. In...
Nov 02, 2021•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 147
HeartShare: The Art of Being Alone With Yourself To Better Your Relationships In this solocast I talk about the importance of being comfortable with our own company. This is the place we find ourselves remembering what it’s like to be the person we truly are. In being alone we become the witness as well as the gatekeeper of our thoughts and feelings and by doing that get in touch with our inner feelings. If we are good at knowing our inner world, we become better at expressing ourselves to other...
Oct 19, 2021•35 min•Ep. 146
In this episode I have a conversation with divorce attorney Jim Siemens. Most people don’t do the endings of a relationship well. They usually leave a legacy of hurt and damage instead of one of healing and inspiration. We discuss the importance of ending a relationship or marriage in a healing manner. There are many lessons in endings. Your lessons come through the choices you make, and your choices create your character. Jim is a divorce lawyer and life coach in Asheville, N.C. He has extensiv...
Oct 05, 2021•57 min•Ep. 145
Relationships have their own cycles and phases, somewhat like the seasons in nature. Some of those seasons can be romantic, playful, connecting, family focused, deep understanding. Other seasons can be one of disconnection, grief, lack of understanding. And since we are part of nature our relationships can coincide with the seasons of nature. Each of the four seasons can bring out different energies and ways of being with each other. In this episode my wife, Yvonne Rainbow and I explore some of ...
Sep 21, 2021•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 144
“Our life is a story”, yet some of our individual stories that we tell ourselves also limit us which can therefore reinforce our core limiting beliefs of ourselves as well as others in our lives. These stories may have originated in childhood or conditioned by society and have stayed with us throughout our lives. Some of the stories we tell ourselves do serve us, yet there are those that hold us back. We need to ask ourselves, “Are these stories true?” “Is this still my reality?” and if so “Do I...
Sep 07, 2021•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 143
Life is becoming busier and busier. The further society progresses, the more it seems that we have more to juggle: work, family, friends, education, health, finances, Netflix series, mortgages. Between these and many other modern-day distractions, it’s difficult for many of us to put effort into our relationships - and easy to say, “I don’t have time!” I get it. But we have to understand that cultivating and nurturing our relationships isn’t solely about time. It’s also about keeping boundaries,...
Aug 17, 2021•35 min•Ep. 142
David LaMotte is an award-winning musician, speaker, and author. I’ve known David and have been a huge fan of his music for about 20 years, watching his concerts in Asheville and Black Mountain many times over the years. But it was through his book, Worldchanging 101: Challenging the Myth of Powerlessness, that I got to know his work in peacebuilding. David is someone who has spent many years of his life cultivating peace, both within himself and in his community. In 2008, he suspended his caree...
Aug 03, 2021•58 min•Ep. 141
Corey Costanzo is the Co-Owner of Asheville’s Still Point Wellness Spa, a licensed addiction counselor, trauma specialist, master didgeridoo player, colleague, and good friend. One of the greatest joys in his life involves relating with others. So, it’s not surprising that he remembers one sentence I said over a year ago in one of our conversations: that the number one predictor of a relationship’s success is allowing influence. But sometimes, opening up to our partners’ thoughts and ideas can b...
Jul 20, 2021•42 min•Ep. 140
Medical decisions and our relationship with experts in the medical field take a prominent role at this stage of the pandemic - and our response to it. Which is why information is crucial, and something Dr. Mark Hoch - Founding Diplomate of the American Board of Integrative Holistic Medicine - is passionate about guiding people through. Mark has been a medical doctor for over 30 years. He received his M.D. from the University of Pittsburgh and completed his residency in Family Medicine at the Uni...
Jul 06, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 139
We all have our own histories, challenges, and traumas that we bring with us into every relationship. When we begin new relationships, opening up is an exciting part of the journey of getting to know each other. It’s easy to talk for hours, to find intimacy in a new connection with another person. But as we move further into our relationships, delving deeper into ourselves and our struggles can become more complex and can often cause roadblocks with our partners. Evenings spent in conversation t...
Jun 15, 2021•52 min•Ep. 138
If someone asked you to define your perfect partner, how would you respond? Oftentimes, our knee-jerk response focuses on different characteristics and personality traits like ‘I want someone kind, caring, compassionate, supportive, and patient.” But, before we begin to describe our ideal intimate partner - we need to look within ourselves and ask: “Am I being the person I want my partner to be?” and “Am I being the partner I want to be?” The old adage, ‘treat others the way you want to be treat...
Jun 01, 2021•32 min•Ep. 137
Seeking approval from our peers and loved ones is natural. We want other people to like us whenever we walk in the world. Trish Kruger, a licensed clinical mental health counselor for Blue Ridge Treks, believes that our need for validation and approval from others is part of our history as human beings. But, Trish suggests when we start feeling constricted and heavy in the course of seeking approval, that’s how we’ll know we’ve tipped the scale and have done too much, forgetting to honor our aut...
May 18, 2021•53 min•Ep. 136
Every one of us, at some point in our sojourn in this world, encounters a point of decision. Whether it’s in our work, businesses, or marriage, life confronts us with the choice of staying our course or leaving. Sometimes the choices scare us, and so we put it off. Shaun Rawls - a highly sought-after keynote speaker and author of “F”-IT-LESS - believes that many of us will put off these critical life decisions so much that life itself eventually makes the decision for us. Through his work and bo...
May 04, 2021•59 min•Ep. 135
Thomas Doochin moved down the street from our house around the end of 2019. And, through more than a year and a half of knowing each other, he and I have become good friends and neighbors. Thomas is the former CEO of Daymaker, a compassion platform that helps organizations cultivate a deeper connection with their community. After several years in service as Daymaker’s chief executive, Thomas is now beginning a new cycle of life. Today, he is exploring his native roots, regenerative agriculture, ...
Apr 20, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 134
Two people meet under some random circumstance, fall in love, experience some disconnection along the way and question their feelings. Realizing they really love each other, the wedding bells toll. Such is the usual plot of a romantic film. By the time the credits roll and the theater lights up, we already have this assumption that they spend the rest of their lives together in blissful matrimony. While we can’t deny that love and romance are beautiful things, these films fail to show the real w...
Apr 06, 2021•33 min•Ep. 133
Dealing with our own anger habits in a healthy and productive way can be challenging in itself, but what can often be even more difficult is learning how to deal with receiving someone else’s anger in a way that doesn’t turn into a conflict or inspire feelings of resentment. If we leave ourselves unchecked, it can be easy to ‘feed off’ of someone else’s anger. Keeping ourselves grounded when receiving someone’s anger is critical to defuse the situation, but how do you do that? Addiction counselo...
Mar 16, 2021•57 min•Ep. 132
Spiritual practice is a yearning for many of us. One can certainly feel the desire to renounce the world and live a contemplative life in a secluded monastery. But Zen priest and milkman Jonathon Flaum advises that spiritual growth can be found in the everyday. Echoing the teachings of the Buddhist philosopher Dogen, Jonathon warns us that the seeds of awakening can be cultivated by taking care of what’s in front of us, no matter how worldly they may be: from mopping the floors, delivering and o...
Mar 02, 2021•55 min•Ep. 131
Worrying is a natural inclination. It is inherent in every one of us to want to protect ourselves, our loved ones, and our possessions from harm. Like other emotions, worrying is an element of the human condition that can transform into a detrimental habit when left unchecked. While worrying can show up in our lives and relationships, fashion designer and Artsy Goddess Studio founder Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky suggests that the key to managing it is to be mindful of our words and emotions when rea...
Feb 16, 2021•59 min•Ep. 130
Safety, trust, and vulnerability. These are some of the pillars of long-term relationships. That is why infidelity could inflict a deep wound within us - for betrayal stands at the opposite end of what relationships stand for: open-heartedness, transparency, and communication. Licensed marriage & family therapist Jennifer Lehr is the founder and owner of WeConcile, through which she helps couples heal from pain and reconnect in their relationships. She stresses that infidelity is such a powe...
Feb 02, 2021•54 min•Ep. 129
There is something beautiful and affirming about being truly seen and known. To be understood and accepted for who we are, despite our flaws and shortcomings, is a common aspiration in relationships, one which requires us to embrace vulnerability. Greggy Levoy, speaker and author of Vital Signs and Callings , suggests that the choice to show your cards and lower your defenses - despite the fear and anxiety of shame and losing control - is the kind of vulnerability that builds trust and safety in...
Jan 26, 2021•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 128
Practicing yoga can be a stretch for beginners. But while it can put you in a challenging position, did you know that practicing partner yoga as a couple can powerfully impact your relationship? Jenne Sluder is a mental health professional and certified yoga therapist specializing in mind-body approaches to improving mental and physical wellbeing. According to Jenne, yoga is a practice of healing oneself and others. When practiced as a couple, partner yoga can give individuals in relationships a...
Jan 19, 2021•44 min•Ep. 127
Whether we are its origin or its receiver, we all experience anger throughout our lives. While anger isn’t necessarily “bad,” it is a critical emotion to understand, for what we do with anger has the opportunity to bring our loved ones closer or push them away from us. And like other emotions, we become more accustomed to anger the more we express it without restraint, creating a toxic habit that can lead to contempt in our relationships. Anger becomes more difficult to manage when it becomes a ...
Jan 12, 2021•1 hr•Ep. 126
There are many moments in a couple’s life that shame and fear show up shrouded in subtlety. While men predominantly feel shame and inadequacy, women tend to go through fear and anxiety. Because of this experiential difference between men and women, it becomes a challenge for couples to understand and navigate the dynamics of shame and fear in relationships. As such, Juan Santos - the owner of Santos Counseling and author of Couple’s Workbook: Making Your Relationship Work - recommends that coupl...
Jan 05, 2021•51 min•Ep. 125
The willingness to take risks, to be authentic, and to be open to vulnerability is critical to a new relationship. To author and speaker Gregg Levoy and musician and former Silicon Valley tech executive Cindy Nelson, being able to work with each other’s darkness and light - not to mention their “crazies” - allows them to go deeper in their connection with each other. Gregg & Cindy both began their relationship in May 2020. At the height of the pandemic, Gregg & Cindy navigated their budd...
Dec 29, 2020•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 124
Whether we’re in the dating stage or have been married for many years, there are many ways that we conduct self-defeating behaviors that can undermine our relationships. Some of these behaviors are so deeply rooted in our history that it can become challenging to uncover. Yet, it is human to have self-sabotaging tendencies, stresses Cathy Courtenay, a Conscious Relating Coach who guides people through connecting with themselves. With all our complexities and nuances, it may look impossible to fo...
Dec 22, 2020•59 min•Ep. 123
Emotional attunement is a crucial skill to develop: it enables us to truly understand the people with whom we share moments in our lives, their experience, and their perspective. It allows us to deepen our relationship in a meaningful way. Emotional attunement has allowed the founder of Artsy Goddess Studio , Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky, to connect with people and easily empathize throughout her life. But while it comes naturally for people like my wife Rainbow, it can be challenging for some to co...
Dec 15, 2020•58 min•Ep. 122
If appreciation is the number one relationship booster, what is the biggest thing that can undermine a relationship? The answer: contempt - that pattern of feelings and behaviors that expresses disgust and scorn towards a person or a group of people, ultimately dehumanizing them. The severity of contempt’s impact on people can make it seem like it’s easy to recognize; yet, contempt enters relationships as subtle as poison administered in careful, incremental drops. In this episode, I discuss how...
Dec 08, 2020•31 min•Ep. 121
