SC 23 - Finding Flow In Your Marriage - Jamie Wheal

If you’ve ever skied, surfed, or gone outdoor climbing, there’s a good chance you’ve experienced that elusive peak state of awareness referred to as “flow”. Time slows, thoughts disappear, your sense of self seems to merge with the present moment, and everything just…flows! The flow state brings high levels of creativity, learning and connection…all things that we want in our relationships. In this episode, I bring on flow expert Jamie Wheal to dig into an important question: How can we bring this peak state into our long-term partnerships? We also hear deeply personal, wisdom-packed stories from Jamie on the evolution of his partnership.  You’re going to enjoy this one.

SHOWNOTES:

• Start of interview [0:40]
• What is the Flow Genome Project? [1:30]
• What’s the distinction between dopamine rushes, drug highs, and “flow”? [3:50]
• Is there a bridge between peak flow states and monogamous relationships? [7:20]
• What happens when sex is made into a dedicated practice, similar to exercise or flossing? [12:50]
• “Erotic Tonglen” [16:50]
• Shares from Jamie’s personal life [22:50]
• What happened to the sexual chemistry when Jamie had kids? [28:05]
• Is the bedroom a place of withholding or safety? [29:05]
• The unconscious bargain that Jamie started his marriage with, and had to drop to save the relationship [31:20]
• What Jamie learned about his relationship at Burning Man [33:00]
• False notions about enlightenment and soulmates [40:30]
• Parting Words from Jamie [43:40]

There are 3 key components of Flow:

1. Rich Environments
2. Deep Embodiment
3. High Consequence