SC 20 - Conflict Is Good News - Diane Musho Hamilton

I really enjoyed this conversation with Zen teacher Diane Hamilton. She brings such a genuine willingness to move toward what’s uncomfortable in our relationships. We explore why she left the mormon church and how she got into zen practice. We also take a good look at parenting, marriage, and why it’s so paramount to be able to take our partner’s point of view. I know you’ll appreciate this dialogue.

SHOWNOTES:

• A special guest kicks off the podcast [0:10]
• Beginning of the interview [5:20]
• Diane shares the arc of her life up to this point [6:00]
• Diane’s “genius zone”: Meditation and Mediation [10:00]
• Skill with conflict = comfort with difference [16:00]
• Diane shares about the relationship dynamic with her husband [19:30]
• Diane defines conflict: “Extreme difference that is fueled by emotion, and is very disruptive to the system” [21:00]
• Why is conflict “good news”? [22:10]
• The 3 styles of conflict [24:15]
  • Avoidance
  • Accommodation
  • Aggression
• How Diane uses meditation to work with conflict [29:00]
• Diane demos mindfulness meditation [32:50]
• The yogic practice of hearing perspectives we don’t agree with [39:00]
• Bringing Zen and Integral into conflict [45:40]