Do you find the psychology of extreme athletes and their relationships fascinating? Are you curious about what motivates climbers and mountaineers to push themselves to the limit and risk it all? Are you a creative and could you use some tips on how to follow your creative spirit? If so, you won't want to miss this interview with Emmy-winning American filmmaker Peter Mortmier, who shares his unique perspective on relationships. Jayson's experience as an extreme athlete and a therapist allows him...
Apr 25, 2023•1 hr 8 min
Would you change if someone asked you to? Asking people to change is common human behavior, but it can be problematic in our most intimate relationships, such as those with our children, parents, and partners. Tune in to this week's episode to hear Jayson's thoughts on his Instagram DMs and asking people to change. Timestamps: 1:50 - Why asking others to change is problematic 16:37 - Q&A with Jayson Links: Order Jayson's book: Getting to Zero Sign up to get Jayson's weekly newsletter via ema...
Apr 18, 2023•25 min
Why are women-run companies more successful than male-run companies? If you are a woman, do you ever feel like the workplace is unfair? How often? This interview was completely eye-opening for Jayson, and very humbling, and we invite you to tune in. Timestamps: 1:00 - Guest introduction 6:02 - How Julia decided to focus on gender differences in When Women Lead 9:36 - Julia's career so far 13:20 - What statistics say about inequality 31:07 - The benefits when women lead companies 39:53 - Do women...
Apr 11, 2023•46 min
In this episode, Jayson shares his personal experience living with this mentality around partnerships/relationships for years. He unpacks what this mindset is really about and what you can do to get through it, which could potentially reframe your experience and help you commit to the one you’re with. Timestamps: 1:56 - The grass is greener mentality 5:42 - Two factors that contribute to the grass is greener mentality 13:05 - When is the grass actually greener? 18:37 - Jayson's personal experian...
Apr 04, 2023•26 min
What is my life's purpose? How can I find health and happiness? Many of us ask these common questions and Dr. John Demartini, one of Jayson’s mentors, shares his thoughts with us. Dr. Demartini is a polymath with four decades of research and expertise exploring over 200 disciplines in pursuit of what he calls the Universal Principles of Life and Health. In addition to his work as a researcher and best-selling author, Dr. Demartini travels the globe as an international educator/speaker. This epis...
Mar 28, 2023•1 hr 32 min
If you plan on getting married, make sure you are willing to do these three things... You won't want to miss this. Timestamps: 0:57 - Don’t get married unless… 2:58 - How should we define success in marriage? 5:34 - Only get married if you do these 3 things 11:07 - Takeaway Links: Read the transcript to this episode here Loneliness, Social Isolation And Living Alone – Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad – 301 Order Jayson's book: Getting to Zero Masterclass Library...
Mar 21, 2023•15 min
On this week’s episode we speak with relationship coach, author, TedX speaker, and host of the Man Alive podcast, Shana James about her newly released book, Honest Sex . We explore the intersection of sex, spirituality, authentic relating, and creativity, and she offers her expanded definition of sex: Tune in to learn about co-creating a deepened honesty to enhance sexual and relational connection/gratification. Timestamps: 0:59 - Guest introduction 2:07 - Interview 5:56 - Sexual creativity 15:0...
Mar 14, 2023•48 min
Jayson and Ellen discuss relationship skills we should learn (e.g. face reading, empathy, conflict resolution). There's no doubt that we have the capacity to have good relationships, because we know we're innately capable of being loving parents, partners, and positive citizens - that's what we're meant to be as humans - but cultivating our relational capacities is actually a developmental achievement and essential ingredient for health and wellness. Timestamps: 0:00 - Intro 1:46 - Relationship ...
Mar 07, 2023•36 min
On this week's podcast, we are joined by Daniel Maté . In addition to co-writing recent New York Times bestseller The Myth of Normal with his father, Dr. Gabor Maté , Daniel is a composer, lyricist, playwright, podcaster, artist, musician, and mental chiropractor - a current day renaissance man. Hear about how Daniel relates to his father, his experience growing up with Maté privilege, and how he contextualizes the complexities of the parent-child relationship psychologically while providing us ...
Feb 28, 2023•1 hr 10 min
April from Austin asks, “You’re always talking about ‘doing the work’; what does that mean? Also, dealing with ‘inner child work,’ does this mean getting a therapist?” Lance wonders, “When does inner child work end? And how do we know when it’s finished?” Tune in for another Ask Me Anything episode where Jayson answers listener questions. Want to submit a question? Leave a comment in our Facebook Support Group or on Instagram @jaysongaddis or @therelationshipschool Useful Links: https://relation...
Feb 21, 2023•10 min
In this week’s episode, Jayson interviews Connor Beaton, author of Men’s Work: A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage and Find Freedom . He is the founder of Man Talks , a speaker, a business coach, a lifestyle entrepreneur, a former opera singer, and a husband and father. This episode speaks to the problem that many men experience while practicing vulnerability. Useful Links: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ https://instagram.com/mantalks/ https://relationshipschool.com/...
Feb 14, 2023•48 min
Curtis asks, “In your expertise, do you perceive that attachment wounds and attachment styles are healed and transformed during partnership or outside of that? I’m curious to hear your thoughts because I’ve been doing a bit of research and finding different takes on it…” Another listener wonders if these phrases signal a lack of personal responsibility in a codependent relationship: “‘I can only feel okay when she (or he) is feeling okay,’ ‘I feel I need to make her (or him) happy,’ and ‘Happy w...
Feb 07, 2023•39 min
Annie Lalla brings the heat in this magnificent episode chock-full of hacks, insights, self-empowerment, love, and wisdom. Damn, can this woman spin some distinctions and reframe common challenges many of us face with simple, detailed examples of ways we can work to transform ourselves and our relationships into the magic we long for. It’s a must-listen-to (probably two or three times), and if you’re a note-taker, you’re going to want to grab your journal. This one is a doozie. Useful Links: Ann...
Jan 31, 2023•1 hr 2 min
How can you be there for your partner when you need them to be there for you? How do you take care of your needs with a struggling partner who needs your support? Can you relate to sometimes having a hard time connecting with your partner—or having a hard time empathizing with them? Please tune in to hear Jayson and Ellen share what it’s like to struggle with conflict during a stressful time. Their recent experience helps put struggle into a psychological/relational context to aid understanding ...
Jan 24, 2023•24 min
As you were growing up, your parents/culture/church/community/friends influenced your values and the positive and negative experiences you had. In this week’s episode, learn a bit about Jayson’s Compass Exercise (featured in Chapter 8 of his book ), a strategy to determine your values and the direction you’re headed in life. If you want to succeed with your New Year’s resolutions or your goals this year, tune in. Useful Links: Read the transcript for this episode https://www.gettingtozerobook.co...
Jan 17, 2023•17 min
Taber asks, “I’m an anxiously attached person and it’s become clear to me that it doesn’t work for me that my partner talks to another woman every day, behind my back. I have found proof that he has crossed the line with her before, and with anxious attachment I am not in a healthy enough place to accept him continuing friendship with this person. I’m welcoming advice on how to set this boundary for myself without just ending the relationship, and I certainly don’t want to give an ultimatum. I’m...
Jan 10, 2023•29 min
Did you know how impactful our facial expressions and tone of voice are on our partner’s sense of safety? Have you ever wondered why you struggle to learn something new when you are stressed? Do you wonder why you are (or your partner is) so damn sensitive? Well, there’s a scientific reason for all of this and in this week’s episode, Jayson interviews the man who developed the polyvagal theory. He’s a real pioneer and someone who cares a lot about you feeling safe—in life and in your relationshi...
Jan 03, 2023•56 min
Nicole asks, “I found your interview with (Dan) Savage to be highly enlightening and incredibly emotional. As a married straight woman in a monogamous relationship with children, I felt very triggered by the concept of ‘enough’. Am I enough? I am constantly struggling to feel like I am enough of anything, and I feel like your podcast has started to help me feel settled into an idea that monogamy and marriage can provide enough for both partners, if it is viewed as a journey and a goal. This inte...
Dec 27, 2022•15 min
Shavani asks, “Most times conflicts drain us of mental energy and time, even with both partners’ willingness to work through it. For me, conflict often takes hours of constant talking, fighting, and finally resolving. This is especially tough when work is involved that requires preparation and clarity. How do we work through conflict in a way that doesn’t impact other parts of our lives that are important for our personal growth and well-being?” Kim wonders, “Have you ever covered sexual frequen...
Dec 20, 2022•24 min
“Any advice to get over a fear of dependency?” Amy wants to know. “Is it possible for one partner to be dependent, and the other to be independent? Does that change over time? What can I do when I get triggered by his independence?” asks @twopopcorn. “Therapists always say, ‘You’re responsible for meeting your own needs’...How do you allow yourself to depend on someone and also not expect someone to give you what you need?” Jean is curious about. Join Jayson and Ellen for this follow-up AMA epis...
Dec 13, 2022•32 min
Want some help understanding what the opposite sex thinks and feels about being partners, parents, cohabitating, careers, etc.? Care to learn how to structure leadership equitably with your partner? Can you identify with stereotypical gender roles—specifically with couples who are also parents? Curious to learn why some men resist or devalue hands-on parenting? Join Jayson and Ellen as they unpack how gender roles play into your most intimate relationship, how they relate to our cultural landsca...
Dec 06, 2022•41 min
When you hear the word “dependency,” what does it conjure up for you? Feelings of resistance? Discomfort? Maybe a squirmy feeling? Or something more positive? Does it feel good for you to be needed? When we first emerge into the world as infants, we are 100% dependent on our caregiver(s) for all our physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual, and relational needs. Our parents have been responsible for every one of our needs, day in and day out, for years. It is a biological imperative to atta...
Nov 29, 2022•34 min
What lessons can families learn from businesses? Have you ever thought of formalizing your values as a family and creating a vision statement? Ellen and I had the privilege to chat with Chris and Melissa Smith, founders of Family Brand , and loving parents to five kids. We discuss what it’s like to have (and come from) an unusually large family, their near-divorce experience, and how they are now happier and stronger than ever before. They talk about why they founded Family Brand , and highlight...
Nov 22, 2022•57 min
Do you find yourself in a relationship with someone who isn’t meeting you halfway? Are you curious to learn why your partner refuses to do their part of the work in the relationship? According to behavioral psychology, human beings are hedonistic. We prefer pleasure over pain, good over evil, comfortable over uncomfortable—even though it is through discomfort that we grow. If you listen to the podcast, I consider you a growth/developmental-oriented person. If a non-growth/developmental-oriented ...
Nov 15, 2022•14 min
Have you ever wondered if there was something you could do quickly when you were triggered and it just made everything better? This week we’re joined by Spiritual Coach Mamoon Yusaf who gives us the elevator speech description of the Qu’ran and it’s deeper meaning). He shares his experience growing up in a posh British grammar school as a young Pakistani boy, becoming a Spiritual Coach, and awakening as a way of owning his feelings, the reactions that changed his life and his relationships for t...
Nov 08, 2022•59 min
Are you a "dad to be," or are you already on the field but want to up your parenting game and become the kind of father and husband you always wanted to be (i.e., sincerely present and very engaged)? Buckle up for a candid, special, extra-long episode geared explicitly for dads with advice on pre-birth, birth (how to support the process and show up), and post-birth (notes on sleep, sex, healthy brain development, post-partum, technological considerations, carrying your child) and more. Useful Li...
Nov 01, 2022•1 hr 30 min
By far the most important age to get parenting “right” is 0-3. This is when the “self” forms and if the primary caregiver (often the mother) is not well, major challenges will emerge in the child. If you have a complicated relationship with your parents or you are a new parent, this is a must listen. Useful Links: Send a text: 7207044852 my.community.com/jaysongaddis/ https://relationshipschool.com/relationshipmastery/ https://relationshipschool.com/rct https://www.gettingtozerobook.com...
Oct 25, 2022•1 hr 13 min
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where the grieving process just won’t quit? In this week’s episode Jayson coaches Kadri, who is struggling to get over a breakup that happened 15 months ago. Jayson suggests that we tend to repeat our patterns (like choosing a “healing” partner vs. a “feel good” partner) unless we fundamentally change something about who we are, and gain insight into why these patterns exist in the first place. Tune in to learn more about this and see if you can relate...
Oct 18, 2022•32 min
This week my wife Ellen and I tackle a couple of your questions… Jennifer is curious about how to forgive ourselves when we relapse into old patterns… Ashley asks us how self-centeredness is either useful or destructive… Brian inquires about confidence, and how to stand up for yourself respectfully… Hannah asks if and how there’s a right way to get back together with someone… Tune in to this week’s Ask Me Anything episode where we discuss ghosting, being centered in a world out of balance, the i...
Oct 11, 2022•32 min
Ever feel like you are the one overfunctioning in your relationship? Ever feel like you are “taking care” of your partner and they feel like a kid sometimes? Listen to this week's episode to hear Jayson review and unpack this codependent couples session with Shannon and Matthew (or catch the episode on YouTube to see the action and better understand what their body language is saying). Useful Links: Text: 7207044852 - my.community.com/jaysongaddis https://relationshipschool.com/rct https://www.g...
Oct 04, 2022•1 hr
