As the pandemic continues, one of the most charged topics that’s come up is mask wearing. Many people are wearing them because their area requires it and/or they think it’ll help stop the spread. Others aren’t because their area has more relaxed rules and/or they think it’s holding them back from a much-needed return to normal life. Either way, it’s turned into a divisive issue with people internally or even publicly shaming each other for wearing or not wearing a mask. This is a prime example o...
Jun 03, 2020•21 min
As a man, I have wrestled with my sexuality most of my life. That’s why I love it when other men are willing to “go there.” Here’s another rich conversation with two men getting honest about us guys in the bedroom. I first spoke to Destin Gerek a few years ago in episode 98 about evolving masculinity, and the man who used to call himself the Erotic Rockstar joins me again in episode 292 to build off that conversation and talk his new book The Evolved Masculine: Be the Man the World Needs & t...
May 27, 2020•57 min
In episode 291 of The Relationship School podcast I spoke with CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke, co-founders of Thrive! Inc. coaching and consulting which specializes in resolving conflict in the workplace and using it to fuel greater teamwork and collective creativity. They’ve worked with everyone from tech startups to Fortune 100 companies and have written books on the subject and even started their own podcast. The two women, also life partners, have pretty incredible life stories and are ...
May 20, 2020•43 min
Did I choose the wrong person? Are we just incompatible? These are a few of the tough questions many couples ask themselves at some point in their relationship, usually when that blissful honeymoon period ends and real life sh*t begins. And there’s an even more important question to ask if you are interested in this subject. It boils down to what you both want. Join me in episode 290 of the RS podcast for a quick but meaningful conversation about incompatibility with me and my wife Ellen. We cha...
May 13, 2020•21 min
The brain is a beautiful thing, isn’t it? Our brains are what shape us as human beings, but do you ever wonder what’s shaping your brain? Join me in Episode 289 as I chat with neuroscientist Dr. Judy Cameron about her breakthrough research into the brain and how we as adults can help our children have sturdier brain development (this is so important for our future). In the past, brain development was thought to be mainly due to genetic programming, but Dr. Cameron shares how it’s actually life e...
May 06, 2020•1 hr 9 min
Making love is a pretty straightforward act, but man do we love to make it complicated. How society views sex has always been messy and made wose -- hold your gasp of surprise here -- for women. It’s about time we ditch this double standard, right? Join me as I chat with relationship expert and Relationship School Ambassador Dr. Alexandra Solomon about sexuality, relational self awareness and all the complexities of sex (and boy there are a lot of them). We discuss how the resurgence of the #MeT...
Apr 29, 2020•51 min
Did you know 1 in 10 Americans take an antidepressant? Yup. For some, the treatment can really help. Yet for many, it doesn’t do much. The COVID-19 pandemic is pushing people like never before. Some of us in a good way, but others are suffering even more. In fact, I think we’re on the brink of a mental health crisis. That’s why I asked my good friend Dr. Will Vanderveer, an integrative psychiatrist, to speak to us about what we can do as practitioners (therapists and coaches), but also as people...
Apr 26, 2020•1 hr 8 min
Have you let someone know how you are lately? How you really are? Because it’s okay to not be okay right now. I encourage you to be more honest with yourself and your friends and family when we all share how we’re holding up in this uncertain world. How did they handle your truth? In this podcast, I check in with you and share 3 tips on how to face interpersonal stress and conflict and only get stronger from it. This is good advice anytime of year, but especially now when our relationships are e...
Apr 20, 2020•20 min
Depending on your situation, the pandemic and economic uncertainty can leave any “normal” person feeling out of control, overwhelmed, or afraid. So, here is a great interview with my friend who is a skilled meditation instructor. Cory walks you through a simple process you can do in 5-10 minutes that will help you calm down and regain control of your thinking and your emotions. Please listen and/or forward to someone you know who is struggling. Shownotes: (3:20) Introduction Cory Muscara (15:50)...
Apr 15, 2020•1 hr 7 min
Word is that child abuse and domestic violence are on the rise right now due to people being stuck at home. And, if China is any indication, divorce could increase a lot once we are through this. “Shelter in place” is a great move with a big downside for some people. If you are stuck at home with people that are difficult, including a roommate or partner, lockdown isn’t that fun. In fact, it can bring out the worst in us. So, my wife and I thought we’d record a short podcast with some tips for c...
Apr 08, 2020•34 min
This is an extremely intimate and powerful episode with world-renowned speaker Philip McKernan. He asks you 2 questions that can completely change how you show up right now during this global crisis. I’ve been reflecting on these 2 questions since our interview. They are deep, very personal, and helpful. Listen below. Shownotes: (4:25) Introduction Philip McKernan (7:50) Orienting yourself in times of crisis (10:55) How difficult times can make you change your perspective (14:20) Asking yourself...
Apr 01, 2020•1 hr 9 min
In this episode we talk briefly about fear and how to deal with it. http://relationshipschool.com/connected
Mar 30, 2020•21 min
I think you’ll find this podcast interview very helpful right now. It’s a good reminder of how to work through adversity. My guest is Mark Divine, a former Navy Seal. This guy’s a machine and doing so much good in the world right now. Pay special attention to how he got into the Navy Seals. There are some good lessons that will help you be stronger right now. Shownotes: (5:10) Introduction Mark Divine (9:45) Getting into the navy seals (16:45) Meditation Breathing advice (20:40) The importance o...
Mar 24, 2020•1 hr 12 min
Are you practicing social distancing? How are you doing this without being a jerk? BOUNDARIES. :) Here are a few simple tips and my thoughts on how we can stay connected during this crisis. These are intense times and I encourage you to stay at home and learn. Useful Links: http://relationshipschool.com/connected https://coronavirus.jhu.edu/ https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/ Chris kresser- RHR: Everything You Need to Know about Coronavirus, with Dr. Ramzi Asfour https://chriskresser.com...
Mar 17, 2020•22 min
I love teenagers! As you know I used you to work with troubled teens in a variety of settings, from drug treatment centers to wilderness therapy programs. I think to be skilled with teens requires some serious skill. That’s why I brought my friend Aaron Huey on the podcast to discuss how to deal with difficult teens. If you are not a parent, this will still be valuable as we discuss addiction, boundaries, and enabling, all issues that come up in adult relationships too. Listen now! Shownotes: (4...
Mar 10, 2020•1 hr 10 min
In last week’s podcast, I answered the question people ask me all the time, “Is it okay to have expectations?” I came up with 6 expectations that are reasonable to have in a partnership. But it’s also important for us to discuss when it’s not okay or when it’s a bad idea to have expectations. I came up with 8 big ones that I DO NOT recommend. The biggest one is expecting someone else to live according to your values. Ouch. People do this one all the time, including me! Doah! Check out this week’...
Mar 06, 2020•19 min
Is it okay to have expectations in relationships? My answer is nuanced. It’s a YES, and it’s a No. Listen to this short podcast and discover the six expectations that I think are totally reasonable to have in a relationship, especially a partnership. Shownotes: (2:35) 6 reasonable expectations in relationships (4:50) Fairness (5:50) Feeling emotionally safe (7:35) Respect (8:50) Mutual Contribution (10:00) Solving problems together (11:05) Knowing and understanding each other (13:35) Action step...
Mar 04, 2020•16 min
One of my mentors, Dan Siegel, is back on the podcast for his 3rd interview. This time, we dive deep into attachment-based parenting. Dan’s work, which my wife and I study intently, is how I parent my own children. The cool thing about Dan is what a nerd he is around research-based approaches and information. We cover the 4 S’s from his “Power of Showing Up” book. It’s so good. Check it out and please apply this to your own parenting (if you are one). Shownotes: 3:25: Introduction Dan Siegel 4:4...
Feb 26, 2020•55 min
I first got introduced to Ken Wilber when I was in grad school. The guy’s mind is insanely brilliant. He takes a lot of maps of human development and consciousness and weaves them together in what he calls integral theory. My guest on this week’s podcast is Keith Witt. He’s worked with Ken for years. We dig into Relationships of course, but from an integral lens. I ask him about the common relationship dynamic where one person claims they are more “developed” than the other What do we do? Intere...
Feb 18, 2020•54 min
If you or someone you love suffers from PTSD check this out. According to the American Psychiatric Association, PTSD can be a disabling condition that impacts about 3.5 percent of U.S. adults. And women are twice as likely as men to have PTSD. Eeek. Trauma is everywhere and I think most of us have experienced it at some point in our lives. That’s why I like to interview folks on the subject. My friend Arielle goes deep in this episode and defines both trauma and PTSD. Shownotes: (3:15) Introduct...
Feb 12, 2020•47 min
Do you have needs? Do you own them? Or do you know you have needs, but then you get scared to ask for them to be met because you're afraid the other person will leave? Understandable. Most people are used to sequestering their needs in exchange for scraps of connection. Please don't do this. I've done a lot of work with my own needs to determine that I do in fact have them in an adult partnership, and that i'm unwilling to not have them met. I'm also willing to offer these needs to my wife forev...
Jan 29, 2020•15 min
What is men's work? Most people are unclear what this term means, but once you find out, you'll be cheering on men who are involved in it. In this podcast, I interview one of the key players in the largest men's organizations in the world. We cover some very intimate subjects, including #metoo, fatherhood, and the power of getting together as men. Shownotes: (3:35) Introduction (7:20) About Men’s Work (10:55) Male relationships inside a family (14:50) What is Men’s Work (20:10) How a man can get...
Jan 21, 2020•57 min
Your closest relationships will end one day. Other than dying, do you know the 2 most common reasons relationships end? Listen here to find out and leave a comment below or in our FB group. This one can get people stirred up. Shownotes: (1:55) 2 main reasons why relationships end (3:30) Outgrowing your partner (6:20) Not being able to handle yourself or your partner (11:20) “Falling out of love” Useful Links: https://www.facebook.com/groups/749008838533400/ https://relationshipschool.com/dpir/...
Jan 15, 2020•18 min
Joan Borysenko is an amazing woman who has some wonderful life lessons around resiliency, making meaning, and developing safety in your relationship life. In this podcast, you'll learn how to dig deep into your self-belief, overcome victimhood, and increase connection. Joan's stories are an inspiring demonstration of the human spirit. Shownotes: 4:40 Introduction Joan Borysenko 16:45 What makes people resilient in life 24:00 The importance of relationships for healing and growing 36:10 What make...
Jan 08, 2020•1 hr 9 min
Do you check your phone all day long? Have you ever tried to speak to someone about something important only to have them distracted by their phone or something else? It sucks. These days, we have endless distractions. So, how do we stay oriented to what matters, and how do we not let our business distract us away from the relationships we care most about? Well, I found someone who knows a lot about this stuff and interviewed him. His insights are a breath of fresh air. And, he says it's all abo...
Dec 31, 2019•43 min
Do you have someone in your life who when you try to help them, they just won't follow through? I mean, you have really good advice and insight, but it doesn't go anywhere. Or maybe you have a friend or family member that needs help but no matter how hard you try, they won't get help. If so, listen to this one. Shownotes: (2:30) How to help someone you care about who doesn’t listen to your advice (6:05) 2 Practical techniques to help others (11:30) Action Step https://lp.relationshipschool.com/y...
Dec 22, 2019•17 min
At every stage, I've been a bit socially awkward. Yes, me, relationship guy gets socially awkward. I'm often more introverted than people think. New social settings can create mild anxiety for me. Do you ever feel this? I think it's very normal. And, what vibe do you put out with your body language at work? Home? With others? As we've talked about before, your face can suggest so many things to others, including threat. So, listen to this podcast as we dive into body language and being socially ...
Dec 18, 2019•47 min
If you are thinking of divorce, you've probably spent hours analyzing things. I just want you to consider a few more points, just in case. Listen to this. Shownotes: (2:55) If you’re thinking of divorce (4:00) Look at the cost of a divorce (8:30) What are the benefits of a divorce for you and for others (13:25) https://relationshipschool.com/DPIR/
Dec 11, 2019•19 min
I received enough requests that it was time to do an interview on co-parenting and blended families. This is a great primer for you if you are in this situation. The couple I interview has lived the experience. One is divorced. One is a spouse of a deceased partner. They blended their families together and it went super well! Their story is inspiring. Listen now! Shownotes: (4:30) Introduction Tammy and Jay (8:00) How does a couple know when to merge their families (11:10) How to tell your kids ...
Dec 04, 2019•44 min
Have you ever tried to control your thoughts to no avail? Do you have a critical voice judging you from the inside? If so, I have great news. I interviewed the founder of ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy) and he has a powerful method (and story) about how to change your mind. Listen now. (5:45) Introduction Steven Hayes (15:05) How to correct the course of people's lives in a positive way (24:00) How to transcend the victim mentality (32:35) Learning to love yourself by yourself and with...
Nov 26, 2019•1 hr 17 min
