QUESTION: Going into my 10th month of a relationship. 2 week break up (his initiation), came back back asking to work it out, showing up strong, committed and communicative. There is only one problem..no sex. He got distant before the break up (last few weeks)...and I asked about it then. He said it was a "him" thing. I realize we need a conversation....but before I do..I need objective insight. He does not touch me in any sexual ways. He holds my hand...and snuggles with me at night, even in hi...
Jul 17, 2017•12 min
The feeling of being lost and purposeless in life has a big impact on our relationships. Men and women have a deep need to not only connect with each other, but connect to a bigger meaning in their life. Satyen Raja is an expert at helping us develop the higher levels of purpose & evolution in our lives - and this affects everything from our work, our relationships with our partners & kids, our fitness and our level of satisfaction with our lives. His '4 freedoms' is an extremely useful ...
Jul 12, 2017•1 hr 9 min
Is there a difference between therapy and coaching? In this episode, I explore the main differences and what matters more than anything else when trying to find a good therapist or coach to help you through your relationship challenges. SHOWNOTES Where should you go for relationship advice? [2:00] The difference between a psychiatrist, a psychologist, and a psychotherapist [4:00] Why do some coaches charge more than therapists? [10:00] Good coaching vs bad coaching [11:00] How bad therapy can ke...
Jul 10, 2017•22 min
There are two giant ways we screw up our relationships. One is by breaking agreements. The other is by never having agreements to begin with. Broken agreements can be great opportunities to open a dialogue with our partner about our needs, renegotiate our agreements if they no longer make sense, or even draw a hard boundary around what we will and won’t tolerate. But what happens when we never have agreements to begin with? Expecting our partner to do, be and act a certain way without clearly co...
Jul 06, 2017•41 min
Dealing with a partner who is triggered can be difficult - especially if they respond negatively to your help. Maybe you’ve been here before: your partner is upset about something, you do your best to give them some encouraging words or to calm them down, but no matter what you do, your partner’s gets more and more upset (or worse... now upset with you for trying to help). If you’ve ever been in this situation before and want to know how to prevent it, this episode is for you. QUESTION: How do w...
Jul 03, 2017•15 min
A major shift is happening with the way we educate young adults about relationships and sex. Despite what we hear in the media about the 'hookup culture,' the majority of young adults are very interested in learning about relationships and long-term partnerships. Alexandra Solomon is paving the way in the academic world, educating both students and adults in the all-important long-term relationship game. If you're a parent or a teacher, this is a great episode to listen to. You'll get a sense of...
Jun 28, 2017•42 min
Do you have a friend or partner telling you to listen to this podcast? Don't know where to start and feel pressured to get 'up to speed'? This episode is for you. SHOWNOTES Should you listen to this podcast? [1:00] Why you SHOULD be skeptical [2:00] How to show your partner that you care about the relationship in your own way [5:00]
Jun 27, 2017•10 min
There’s been a surge in alternative, traditional methods to healing our deepest wounds. One of the main approaches that has gained popularity here in America is the use of the traditional South American brew, Ayahuasca, in guided ceremonies. Dr Gabor Maté, renowned addiction expert, and writer, is back for a second conversation to discuss the benefits & cautions to using Ayahuasca. In this conversation, we also discuss many natural (non-medicinal) methods to healing trauma through the power ...
Jun 21, 2017•56 min
How often do you find yourself wanting to ask for something in your relationship - more communication, more time & attention, more touch - only to find yourself holding back out of fear? Expressing (or confessing) our needs can feel scary and edgy. If it's a 'non-negotiable need' it's easy to feel like you're threatening the relationship with an ultimatum: "I need this or I'm out". S0 do you hold back, hoping your partner will come around on their own (and getting more resentful when they do...
Jun 19, 2017•11 min
Finally about the real research that backs up the mission of The Relationship School®. Not only are teens NOT being educated about romantic relationships, but 70% of teens and young adults are WANTING more help and guidance around their love relationships. This is outstanding news because it's been a major void. In this episode, I speak with lead researcher Richard Weissbourd about his 5-year study with over 3000 teens and young adults on romantic relationships. If you are a parent, or want to b...
Jun 14, 2017•36 min
QUESTION My husband’s parents have told me in the past (to them it’s funny) about how harsh they were with him as a baby and as a young child. This might explain why when our newborn has meltdowns he sometimes gets frustrated to the point of telling her to 'shut up' and at times handling her a little rougher than I feel comfortable with. I understand where my husband is coming from, given his past, but I refuse to allow my daughter to grow up with that kind of treatment or to allow her to be his...
Jun 14, 2017•9 min
This episode is for the male entrepreneur, a guy who is likely to have a hard time in romantic relationships. If you are dating or married to an entrepreneur, this podcast will help you. My guest Jordan Gray covers some of the main reasons why high-achieving male entrepreneurs struggle to find the same success in partnership as they might find in their businesses. From sexual dysfunction to relationships ending, Jordan will challenge you to take a few simple steps to earn your way into a great i...
Jun 08, 2017•57 min
How do we not burn out our partner with our problems? Is it okay to have them be the only support system for us? What is a better set up? In this episode you'll hear some feedback on why it's important to c0-support each other and not just have it be one way. Erica's question: Can you speak about dealing with a partner’s emotions during high stress and emotional times so that we can be both fulfilled? Erica's question [2:00] How to help your partner in a way that works for you [5:00] When you sh...
Jun 05, 2017•12 min
Are you aware how your past negative experiences are shaping your current relationship reality? Well, they are and until you deal with those, it will be harder to get what you claim you want. In this episode my guest Mark Groves takes us on a deeper exploration about how negative beliefs can block your relationship potential. And some of those negative beliefs might be buried below your awareness. I'm so grateful for Mark's gifts here and I think you'll get a lot out of this episode. Especially ...
May 31, 2017•58 min
QUESTION from our listener Jeff: How can a couple grow together and be truly happy if one of the parties has some underlying personal issues? I dive into this question and offer Jeff some basic feedback that all of us need to hear about "issues." If you think your partner has issues, this is going to help both of you, a lot! SHOWNOTES Whose 'issues' you need to beware of [3:00] Do you have to be happy with yourself before you get into a relationship? [5:00] The two decisions you need to make to ...
May 29, 2017•13 min
Feeling insecure in relationships is par for the course. So, wouldn't it make sense to learn how to increase your confidence in a relationship? If you expect yourself to be "good" at relationship, your partner will show you over time where you are insecure and weak. So, listen to this episode as I interview 5 graduates of The Relationship School® and notice how they turned their confidence issues around. SHOWNOTES When insecurity leads to blaming your partner [2:00] Why confidence needs to be ea...
May 24, 2017•27 min
If your partner gets angry and it triggers you, listen to this one. There are a couple of basic things you can do to support each other. QUESTION From Kristen in Philadelphia: Just want to thank you for everything you’ve done with the podcast - it’s had a tremendous impact on my life. I wanted to ask you a question about healthy expressions of frustration and conflict. I have a partnership with someone I really love and sometimes, in conflict when he’s extremely frustrated, he tends to pound a p...
May 23, 2017•10 min
If you want to know how to overcome erectile dysfunction, you'll need a complete reframe on this entire issue. I offer my own personal experience and how I used my shame to get hard again, as well as some exact steps you can take to get in the driver's seat of this issue and overcome it. I sprinkle in some humor to help take the edge off. This is for the men, but also will help you women out there who are with, or have been with, a man struggling with ED. SHOWNOTES Why some men take viagra [7:00...
May 17, 2017•34 min
Why do some people get taken advantage of, taken for granted and walked all over in their relationships? In this episode I talk about one crucial step for getting the respect, appreciation, and value that you deserve in all your relationships. SHOWNOTES The person who is responsible for your relationship [1:00] Who you need respect from the most [2:00] When you tolerate people treating you poorly… [4:00] Your action step [5:00]...
May 15, 2017•7 min
Dating advice on a relationship podcast? Yes, enough people said they wanted that, so we're experimenting with our first dating episode. Evan Marc Katz brings some amazingly simple and practical advice to the online dating scene. There are loads of great tips here to turn dumb luck into a skill. Singles will benefit, but there's some practical relationship advice in here as well. How to have higher quality first dates [13:00] The ‘2, 2, 2’ rule for better connection through online dating [15:00]...
May 10, 2017•55 min
What are the pros and cons of looking at marriage as forever? And how can you personally engage in one of the biggest commitments of your life without falling into someone else's programming, but also without hedging your bets and thinking you always have an out? Find out in this week's episode. Question from Heather - Hawaii "Can you please clarify on why we shouldn’t be striving to stay in a marriage forever? Backstory: I just finished listening to your latest episode about the point of marria...
May 08, 2017•15 min
How do you deal with an emotional woman? Guys are going to want to listen to this. My guest Terry Real shares a ton of insight here in his 2nd interview with SCP including the 3 phases of marriage and the five habits that hurt your relationship. Listen in for more! SHOWNOTES: The three phases of marriage [8:00] The five habits that hurt your relationship [12:00] Why we pick partners who trigger us [14:00] The two main issues all couples have [18:00] The difference between obligatory and voluntar...
May 03, 2017•55 min
How do you end a relationship with respect and dignity? People make breaking up a lot more complicated than it needs to be. In this episode, I talk about how to handle breaking up in a clean, direct and honest way. SHOWNOTES Question from Shelby: " I’ve been working on myself through a romantic relationship for about a year and a half now. We really seem to connect deeply when we are together - which is minimal - yet it’s not enough for him to stay in the relationship so that it goes anywhere si...
Apr 30, 2017•10 min
Why do men pull away when they get close? Then, some of them will come back, only to pull away again. WTF is going on here? SHOWNOTES What is going on when a man pulls away? [7:00] The surprising reason he pulls away and disconnects from you [8:00] Why annoying your partner is a good thing (and will happen forever) [10:00] The feedback loop that keeps you both stuck [13:00] Two powerful tips for when he pulls away [14:00]...
Apr 26, 2017•18 min
Personal growth isn't the end all be all. But it does make a massive difference if you want a thriving partnership over time... QUESTION: “My question is in relation to Podcast #34, Triggers. I’ve heard you’ve say in numerous podcasts what’s required to have growth oriented people, that it requires 100% commitment of “I’m in” to the path of personal development and responsibility and interest in myself for this work to be effective. What do you do if a person is 50% in? What do you do if they’re...
Apr 24, 2017•10 min
Have you ever wondered why you struggle to learn something new when you are stressed? Do you wonder why you or your partner are so damn sensitive? Well, there's a scientific reason for all of this and in this week's episode, I interview the man who developed the polyvagal theory. He's a real pioneer and someone who cares a lot about you feeling safe, in life, and in your relationships. Stephen Porgess is about to give you a big download on why you might not feel safe and what you can do about it...
Apr 19, 2017•1 hr 8 min
Is your sex drive different than your partner? This can lead to a lot of challenges. Unless, you keep things simple, lead with vulnerability and speak your needs. Listen here for more. QUESTION: Hi Jayson, this is Lillian, New Orleans. I’m reaching out to you today because I notice I’m having a really hard time asking for sex from my wife. We have a history of having kind of a wide libido gap and in recent years that’s smoothed out - we’re more compatible there now than we’ve been before - but I...
Apr 17, 2017•10 min
Mandy - Smart Couple Facebook Page Feeling connected. First of all, can we explore the meaning of that in depth? To me it's hard to define and hard to ask for and hard to get though my partner really tries. It's a feeling I get that my partner and I are connected. lol. Not helping. We're connected when we're both open to one another, present, affectionate, compassionate. Is it too much or unrealistic to want the goal to be in that heart centered connected space "all" the time? Not literally all ...
Apr 12, 2017•40 min
QUESTIONS: I was listening to Episode 12 with Dr Keith Witt and was really intrigued about the role that shame plays in conflict and in relationship. Specifically in parenting as well as in long term partnership. I would love to hear more of your thoughts on that. Boyfriend and I are on a break at this moment. The anger I have from my ex is so bad… shame and blame a lot, how can I handle this situation for the future? Boyfriend has some serious issues with his family and whenever an issue arises...
Apr 10, 2017•18 min
Are you dealing with narcissism in your relationship? How do you really know? What are the signs and more importantly, what's going on with you that has you with someone you are labeling as "narcissistic?" In this episode I dive into these questions and more with my friends Jeff and Rachel, both very skilled psychotherapists who understand narcissism and how it can impact your relationship. SHOWNOTES How narcissists relate to their sense of ‘self’ differently [13:00] Understanding how people get...
Apr 06, 2017•1 hr 4 min
