Why settle for scraps in your relationship and be with someone who doesn't treat you with the utmost respect, even during the hardest of times? Well, there's often one reason...Listen in as I challenge you to ask for more. SHOWNOTES QUESTIONS: I’ve been in a relationship. We bought a home together, we’ve split up and I find myself continuing to go back and unable to let go. How do you know it’s time to work or walk away? [4:00] My husband doesn’t want divorce and he has had an affair - but he’s ...
Apr 04, 2017•18 min
Our culture as 'sexually jammed up' [11:00] The Request - Offer - Invitation method and what we can do to loosen ourselves up [16:00] Betty’s ‘Waking Up The Hands’ exercise and how to test your ‘pleasure capacity’ [18:00] The single biggest factor in the quality of your touch [25:00] What to do when someone asks you what you want but you don’t know [39:00] How to ask for what you want [40:00]
Mar 29, 2017•56 min
If you are a more "masculine" woman, chances are you'll find yourself with a more "feminine" man. Is this a problem? Not at all. In fact, if you understand basic polarity principles, this can work to your advantage. Unless of course, you want to keep blaming your partner. There is something simpler you can do. Listen for more info... QUESTION: Can you speak to male/female polarity dynamics? Particularly when the female partner tends to have more of a masculine energy in the relationship - in ter...
Mar 27, 2017•13 min
What is co-regulation and how do I feel safe in my relationship? In this episode my guest Bonnie Badenoch goes deep into the co-regulatory nervous system. We discuss the importance of interpersonal neurobiology and how we can regulate each other. She covers the myth and limitations of self-regulation and what we must learn instead. Bonnie is a psychotherapist and healer devoted to helping people feel safe in their own skin. We cover a lot of ground in this one, and I recommend going slow and may...
Mar 22, 2017•1 hr 8 min
What does marriage really mean? [3:00] Are 50 year relationships realistic? [7:00] Using marriage as a vehicle for your own personal growth [11:00] jaysongaddis.com/10a
Mar 20, 2017•15 min
SHOWNOTES How to work out your differences quickly [2:00] Understanding how our childhood coping mechanisms effect our relationships [5:00] An effective tool to rate your ability to handle conflict [6:00] The most essential decision to make to handle relationship issues [8:00]
Mar 15, 2017•15 min
Is it okay to go outside the marriage to get your sexual needs met? While this may seem like a straightforward answer, it's amazing to me how many folks ask this question who are having affairs. When is this okay and when is it not okay? Listen in for my opinions on the matter. Question: I’m finally reading Mating in Captivity and it appears that I have a successful life partnership with my husband who I love deeply and care about, but enjoy a better sexual match with another man. The other man ...
Mar 13, 2017•16 min
Stan Tatkin returns and serves up another awesome dose of relationship advice through the lens of adult attachment. From how relationships impact your health, to helping your triggered or upset partner, to dealing with an avoidant partner, we cover a lot of ground as Stan answers 8 or so questions from you, the listener. This one is full of helpful tips to improve and enhance your connection over time. Why is the country feeling so much anxiety? [1:00] The effect that your ‘allostatic load’ has ...
Mar 08, 2017•1 hr 3 min
Question: Once someone cheats on you should you walk away completely and let go, or do you think going through something like this could strengthen a relationship and create a deeper bond? Not sure where to draw the boundaries. When I found out about the cheating, I spent 3 hours trying to understand why. Am I being too understanding? I’d like to know what your thoughts are when it comes to getting back together with someone that cheated on you. Any advice? Spending $20 Billion on 'love' [3:00] ...
Mar 06, 2017•16 min
UPDATE: CONTEST WINNERS ANNOUNCED! What can you learn from divorced people and people who are married for a decade or two? What are the main differences? There are two and we cover them in this episode with author Mark Manson. We also explore how Mark navigated a big challenge with his now wife and why self-improvement and self-awareness are so essential to long-term partnership. SHOWNOTES Contest winners announced [1:00] The fundamental issues people have in relationships [9:00] Why we need to ...
Mar 01, 2017•52 min
SHOWNOTES Question: I’d love to hear more about the possible distinction between standing in one’s own needs and then the problematic zone of asking or expecting a partner to change. Asking for change in certain areas seems reasonable and I use my own potential reaction to being asked to change as a measure: “Would I respond well to my partner asking me to change in this area?” But some areas seem tricky, such as Love Languages: “XYZ behaviour that is hard for you is actually what most supports ...
Feb 27, 2017•19 min
SHOWNOTES Contest announcement [5:00] How to repair a rupture [8:00] When you trigger your partner: the art of micro repairs [12:00] When ‘macro repairs’ are called for [14:00] 3 steps to the micro-repair [15:00] An example in Jayson and Ellen’s relationship [18:00] Your Action Step [26:00] CONTEST If you're not already, become a member of the Smart Couple community https://www.facebook.com/groups/749008838533400/ Record a 1 minute video on your phone. Do not go over 1 minute. For the video, inc...
Feb 22, 2017•33 min
Question: We’ve been together 3 months and I’ve been on a path of self development for many years. My new partner is very new to inner work and has not prioritized that. He’s open and he’s curious but he’s new to it all. There’s a lot of fear there for me because I’m worries as we get to know each other his lack of self awareness and self understanding might create blocks. I’ve let him know this but I’m not sure whether I should just walk away now and try find somebody who I feel can meet me as ...
Feb 20, 2017•18 min
Do you ever use sex to avoid closeness? Do you know what happens when a man who is called the Erotic Rockstar hits a wall and falls apart? In this intimate episode, we explore these questions and hear a man's vulnerable and raw answers. You'd be surprised at some of what he has to share. There are some nuggets in this very edgy episode. From politics to porn, we cover a lot of ground. Listen to my guest Destin Gerek share his very personal story of overcoming his ego, feeling his emotions and he...
Feb 15, 2017•1 hr 3 min
If one of you wants marriage and the other doesn't, there will be problems. You both need to get crystal clear and determine how "negotiable" this is. Listen to the podcast for more detailed info on what you can do about this common dilemma SHOWNOTES What if your partner won’t work on it with you? [1:00] Question 1 : My boyfriend and I have been dating 2+ years and have been unable to move forward and feel secure in our relationship because I believe in marriage and he does not. That said, he do...
Feb 13, 2017•14 min
If you are a woman who feels shut down in your body or genitals, this conversation is for you. My guest Olivia Bryant helps you understand your cervix and what to do to begin the healing journey. I learned a lot here and am reminded how jammed up we are as a culture sexually. There's so much wounding, trauma, and pain around our sex lives and our guest will help you address one potential area of your sex life that needs attention and healing. SHOWNOTES Learning how we shut down to learn how to o...
Feb 08, 2017•47 min
If you are not fighting after 4 years of being together you're asleep. Why? I'll explain in this episode. I used to be proud of the fact that I never fought in my relationships. But man, was I missing the boat... SHOWNOTES Question: “You talk about working together and communication. But is there such a thing as working TOO well together, never fighting or getting into an argument? Sometimes I would like to have some type of disagreement or argument. We’ve been together almost 4 years and we’ve ...
Feb 06, 2017•14 min
Are you killing the connection with these 7 behaviors? My guest Bryan Reeves lays out some of the most common connection killers and what to do instead. There's some really good, practical advice in this episode. Dig in and enjoy Bryan’s relationship story [7:00] The Masculine-Feminine Dance and the ‘pull-push’ cycle [11:00] Freedom vs connection in relationship [12:00] When she says ‘come closer’ and he says ‘back away (and his biggest fear in life) [14:00] One way to handle a woman’s anger [17...
Feb 02, 2017•40 min
Here’s a good question from a listener. Essentially it’s about physical attractiveness and size. Check it out: Question: I’m newly interested in a man after being single for 4 years, I have a 5 year old son. My biggest issue is getting over the ‘drug-effect’ of having someone new and really discovering why we should or are together. I’m all about getting the ‘high’ and attracting guys who are physically fit and are the perfect eye candy to have on my arm. Right now the guy I’m seeing is just the...
Jan 31, 2017•23 min
Are you in an abusive relationship? In this episode we explore some of the hallmarks of an "abusive" relationship and what to do with any form of disrespect, neglect, or abuse. It's actually harder than you think and there's more work to do than to just "leave" the relationship. I answer loads of questions from listeners like you on abuse in your relationship life. I think there might be some confronting and helpful information in here for you. SHOWNOTES What is an abusive relationship? My defin...
Jan 25, 2017•1 hr 11 min
I’ve been in my current relationship for 15 months. Right off the bat, we rushed into it both freshly out of our relationships. At 3 months he started ‘hardcore flirting’ in messages to facebook friends of his. He didn’t hide it, but I’m sure he didn’t expect me to see it. I found out because he disappearing act one evening and lied to me at first about where he was. A few days later, I was shocked, he was sexually flirting with others via messenger. I confronted him and he told me he loves me. ...
Jan 23, 2017•10 min
Money and Relationships! Some say this is one of the top 3 reasons people get divorced. So, do the two of you feel "on the same page" with money or is it a source of tension? If you feel challenged in any way around money in your relationship life, then listen to my friend Bari Tessler breakdown 4 steps to being a more empowered team around money. Any smart couple will want to get this part of their relationship handled and this podcast will be a great start SHOWNOTES Bari’s Money Story [9:00] C...
Jan 18, 2017•1 hr 14 min
A great 3-part question from Nathan from Oregon particularly pertaining to relationships as a young adult. He's also wanting to find mature relationships and act more mature. Check it out. SHOWNOTES Question - Part 1: How do you navigate technology in relationships? When is it connecting? When is it disconnecting? As phones and technological tools are becoming more necessities, how do we use them from a place of strength? The Do’s and Don’ts of Texting and Fighting (especially if it’s serious) [...
Jan 16, 2017•16 min
Annie Lalla brings the heat in this amazing episode full of love and wisdom. Damn can this woman spin some distinctions and reframe so many challenges with simple, detailed examples of how we can transform our relationships into the magic we long for. I know you're going to dig this one. A must listen to probably 2 or 3 times. SHOWNOTES How to use conflict to access your shadow [10:00] Learning to use conflict and complaints to build your relational and emotional muscles [12:00] A practical tool...
Jan 11, 2017•1 hr 3 min
Why is emotional intensity so difficult for some guys to deal with? [1:20] Why some men can’t handle being around women (and people) who are depressed or going through intense emotional experiences.[4:15] Action step: A constructive way to think and act when we ‘don’t like’ something about our partner. [5:50]
Jan 09, 2017•10 min
Show Notes Charles’ relationship story. [9:50] How we know if we’re ready for marriage. [13:00] Why do you people get divorced in January? [15:00] The #1 thing you can do to prevent a “January Divorce”. [17:00] A micro step you can take to ratchet up the ‘honesty’ in your relationship. [19:00] How to get real, raw and say the hard truths (and how NOT to say it). [21:00] How Charles recently got through a super tough time in his relationship.[22:00] How to know when a relationship has run its cou...
Jan 04, 2017•51 min
We all have a wall in our most intimate relationships. Find out how to take down that wall in a way that works for you. I've got the first step laid out for you. SHOWNOTES Martina asks her question [5:00] The first step in dealing with fear. [7:30] How your parents influence your relationship with your partner. [8:00] The truth about fear. [12:00] Jayson gives an action step. [15:00]
Jan 03, 2017•16 min
Want to hear how two people move from victim consciousness to a place of empowerment? Alexi and Preston have some bold answers on how to get over your victim mindset when it comes to relationships and your past. If you want to be challenged in a good way, this episode will help you. SHOWNOTES How did Preston & Alexi begin their journey of personal transformation? [14:00] Why do people struggle in relationship? [21:30] Preston & Alexi's backpack metaphor that helps them thrive in their re...
Dec 28, 2016•1 hr 4 min
Is your relationship boring or are you boring? Or, better yet, are you just stuck and unsure of how to deepen your relationship? Boredom is a sign that you are missing something, big. Human beings are not boring. Yes, they may have stunted their development, but behind that wall is a massive ocean to explore. Listen up and find out how to get beyond boring. SHOWNOTES The piece of chocolate that sparked this podcast episode. [9:00] The common phrases we here about monogamy? [10:45] What causes th...
Dec 21, 2016•35 min
Want to hear how one man got his wife back after a separation on the brink of divorce? It's actually quite simple but requires a certain kind of man to be able to follow through with it and execute. If you are a man, this is essential information if your marriage is on the rocks. SHOWNOTES How & why did Ryan start Order of Man? [6:00] What is the current state of men in general? [7:30] What was the impact of not growing up with a father? [9:00] When did Ryan realize the "honeymoon" phase of ...
Dec 14, 2016•47 min
