Most of the time, when we fight with a partner, we “bicker” or go in circles because we are missing what the fight is really about. In this episode we examine the 3 things people fight about most. It will be essential to listen to this so you know what the deeper layer of your fights are really about. Why does this matter? So you can get to the real issue and resolve it. SHOWNOTES: The 3 types of fights [6:40] Type 1: Security fight – “I don’t feel safe” [7:40] Type 2: Past resentments – Stuff y...
Oct 25, 2015•30 min
I really enjoyed this conversation with Zen teacher Diane Hamilton. She brings such a genuine willingness to move toward what’s uncomfortable in our relationships. We explore why she left the mormon church and how she got into zen practice. We also take a good look at parenting, marriage, and why it’s so paramount to be able to take our partner’s point of view. I know you’ll appreciate this dialogue. SHOWNOTES: A special guest kicks off the podcast [0:10] Beginning of the interview [5:20] Diane ...
Oct 14, 2015•55 min
In this episode I unpack 3 really important steps to removing the drama from your relationships. Drama can be a time suck, an energy drain, and can hurt your relationship even more. So, check this short episode out and notice if you are perpetuating drama, or doing your best to end it. SHOWNOTES: What does Jayson mean when he says drama? [2:00] 3 main ingredients to ending the drama [4:40] 1. Reframe it and see it as an opportunity rather than a problem [5:50] 2. Say NO to drama, by saying YES t...
Oct 08, 2015•24 min
Bruce was one of THE pivotal factors in helping me marry my wife before she slammed the door shut on me. Hear that story in this episode and why it’s so common for couples to struggle. Bruce offers a powerful frame for relationship and intimacy and makes the distinction between the developmental work we need to do, and the possibility that we are “already free” in relationship. Check it. SHOWNOTES: How Jayson met Bruce [1:15] “I give [Bruce] credit for saving my marriage” – Jayson [2:30] Start o...
Sep 30, 2015•1 hr 5 min
I got a serious education in this interview with Christiane and Ren. I can get so focused on men’s issues that I lose sight of what’s occurring for women. So, needless to say, this episode was very helpful. Since I have a daughter, I’m particularly interested in how to raise her in a “good” way around her own sexuality. Sure, my wife’s got so much of that covered, but as her Dad, I’m eager to support her unfolding in the most beautiful way possible. So, thanks to these two women and the women wh...
Sep 23, 2015•1 hr 52 min
This is another great podcast, and our first one around sexuality, especially as it pertains to men (women’s sexuality coming in the next episode). David and I explore my own challenges and triumphs and what’s going on in the male mind when it comes to getting stuck around “performing” in the bedroom. You’ll dig it. SHOWNOTES: Intro to David Cates [1:16] Start of the interview [4:00] How Jayson reached out to David when he was struggling sexually [5:25] Men stuck in the “performance game” [8:05]...
Sep 15, 2015•1 hr 3 min
Can plant medicine such as Ayahuasca help our marriages? In this episode I interview two very experienced guests who have both done over 500 ceremonies with this sacred medicine. We dive deep into this question, highlighting Ayahuasca’s strengths as a healing modality and where this medicine may fall short when it comes to interpersonal relationships. SHOWNOTES : Jayson’s early Ayahuasca experiences [2:30] Intro to Geoff Hanzlik [4:50] Intro to Richard Furr [5:45] Beginning of interview [6:50] G...
Sep 08, 2015•1 hr 14 min
In this episode Jayson fields a bunch of great questions from listeners like you. Here are a few of the edited questions: Do you work with people who are actively having an affair and want to continue it? How do I deal with a partner who refuses to do the work? What do I do when I fall out of love with my partner? How can I feel sexually empowered in a relationship when my partner lacks both the desire to have sex and the desire to talk about it? How do I deal with the loss of my partner? How do...
Sep 03, 2015•52 min
Can MDMA help our relationships if we do this in a legit way? I explore this question with Dr Vanderveer and we zero in on some key factors if you want to improve your marriage or relationship life using medicine such as MDMA. SHOWNOTES Jayson shares his own experiences with MDMA – [1:50] The Low-Down on MDMA trials [4:55] Who is MDMA for? [6:20] What a MDMA-assisted psychotherapy session looks like [8:28] “There’s something really warm and cozy about that” [10:50] Why use MDMA? -Tapping into sh...
Aug 30, 2015•58 min
Man is this guy a force! I dive into a vibrant conversation with integral-psychotherapist and writer Dr. Keith Witt. Topics range from growth, depression, working with shadow, evolutionary drivers, marriage, parenting and much more. Bring a notepad for this one! And, get the rewind button ready… SHOWNOTES: Everything is relationships [2:33] Rediscovering monogamy [4:20] How to “make it” in long term relationship [5:05] Getting aligned in your growth [6:15] Causes and cures of depression [8:40] D...
Aug 25, 2015•1 hr 8 min
People don’t trust you when you are misaligned. You say you’re “fine” but really you feel angry. Or you say “I love you” but your body language is saying something different. This causes people to pull back from you. The more congruent someone is the more trustworthy they are. We get really pissed when our partner is out of alignment. In fact, we even resent them over time. But that is often a reflection of our own misalignment. In This episode you will learn: Dealing with the ‘I’m Fine’ moment ...
Aug 19, 2015•14 min
This episode is key for millennials who are about to get married. Too many people skip this conversation prior to marriage. IN THIS EPISODE, You will learn: How to tell the difference between honesty and reckless honesty. The three criteria of honest communication How to offer honesty without being critical. One question to ask before saying anything ‘honest’ How honest communication without shaming can move your relationship forward Learning to receive feedback well The 4 conversations every un...
Aug 16, 2015•36 min
Affairs are so intense. When I was 20 or so I cheated on my girlfriend. When I was 32 or so I had an emotional affair. In this episode I share more about what I learned about myself during those and then I discuss why so many affairs happen and what you can do about it. IN THIS EPISODE, You will learn: how to deal with tears and anger in the fire of an affair how to move past an affair with the learning and insight how to move from an affair onto a path of personal development and growth how to ...
Aug 12, 2015•27 min
IN THIS EPISODE, You will learn : To see your partner as a sacred mirror and sanctuary for the growing your greatest actualized self The true characteristics of a long-term partnership How your partnership is the optimal container for complete transformation of yourself into the highest possible version imaginable How to fall in love and why this is more important than being married How to take radical responsibility for being loved in every moment of your life How to actually get your needs/wan...
Aug 09, 2015•35 min
IN THIS EPISODE, You will learn : The importance of recognizing conditioning and seeing its role in shaping a more mature relationship Why knowing your past experiences and stories can re-empower your relationships How to differentiate between healthy shame and unhealthy shame and how they play a crucial role in functional marriages How recognizing stages of an evolving relationship can help you better connect with your partner How to get to being centered and truly connected with your partner w...
Aug 05, 2015•37 min
IN THIS EPISODE, you will learn : how to keep a marriage alert, alive, and awake about the interplay of sex and emotional intimacy in a partnership creating simple positive changes in relationship through sex challenges how regular sex and strong physical connection benefit partnership how an “intimacy lifestyle” can create deeper connection what technique of initiation works best for your relationship how to regain the desire and dream conversation in a marriage how to recreate a habit of getti...
Aug 02, 2015•35 min
IN THIS EPISODE, you will learn : How to navigate a partnership by understanding 3 marriage types How to align to the most dynamic, live, energetic, and inspired marriage How to see diagnostically if your marriage is doomed or if you will make it How to get your partner to become a caring type—balanced and evolving
Jul 30, 2015•13 min
IN THIS EPISODE, You will learn : the importance of relationship in integrative psychiatry how to understand what makes the best treatment in psychiatry with and without medication about alternative approaches to allopathic medication with integrative medicine the importance of true intimacy in relationship as medicine critical elements of attaining mental health how honoring yourself in a partnership encourages personal integrity how to maintain your integrity while being true to yourself and g...
May 27, 2015•44 min
IN THIS EPISODE, you will learn: Why and how partnerships matter and what they require What ingredients are needed to truly tend to your partnership How to work through bad habits by utilizing community for support and healing The signs of health in partnership and “right” relationship How to milk your intimate partner for the biggest medicine The core of erotic intelligence how to break the homogeneity of sexuality What’s next after deep connection, emotional intimacy and vulnerability...
May 20, 2015•51 min
We continue to lay the foundational context for a rockin’ marriage. Will you be a smart couple or a dumb couple? IN THIS EPISODE, You will learn: REAL-LIFE applications to your intimate partnerships that actually work How to get results in the midst of challenge and struggle What the point of marriage is. If you don’t get this you’re screwed. The fallacy of the “romantic notion of love” About the optimal environment for child growth and brain development How to get away from the chronic stress m...
May 13, 2015•29 min
THE SMART COUPLE PODCAST SERIES The Smart Couple Podcast: A trail blazing relationship podcast promoting unconventional monogamy and marriage–where we teach you how to fight well, master communication, and take your marriage to the next level without compromising your business, family, or integrity. This podcast will become the VERY best relationship resource for growth and success oriented smart people who want to have extraordinary marriages and relationships. We will explore you doing whateve...
May 06, 2015•18 min
