Redemptive Living Radio

Redemptive Living Radio•www.rlforwomen.com

Looking for hope and redemption after sexual betrayal? Then this is the podcast for you! We’re Shelley and Jason Martinkus, authors of four books, including Worthy of Her Trust and we’ve been there. We’re nearly two decades into our own recovery work, and have dedicated our lives to helping other men, wives and marriages on the journey toward wholeness. With candor, vulnerability and authenticity we want to walk with you, too! Tune in as we address the highs and lows, the hard questions and the challenges couples face as they pursue redemptive living.

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Episodes

#12: Equanimity

So our plan was to talk about the ins and outs of detachment for this last episode of season one. But first, I wanted to start with a quick question regarding equanimity in the recovery process. Simply because I often hear of husbands saying - they want it to be equal. As Jason and I continued to dive deeper into the topic, I realized that we would need to save detachment for season two. In this episode, we unpack the reasons behind why we believe demanding equanimity from her doesn’t work. We a...

Dec 19, 2020•31 min

#11: Listener Questions

We’ve received some great questions during this season of the podcast. We wanted to tackle as many of these as we could and didn’t get near as many answered as we wanted to but that’s okay. There (hopefully) is always the next episode! A couple of the questions we answered - Is it possible that Jason loved me in the midst of his acting out? And is it fair for husbands to say that they didn’t mean to hurt us while they were acting out. We cover this and more! Would love to connect with you on Ins...

Dec 11, 2020•26 min

#10: Sitting on Secrets

Sitting on secrets is incredibly detrimental in the recovery process. We (actually, Jason) shares four main reasons that men choose to sit on secrets during the recovery process. In addition, he talks through the really important recovery aspects that sitting on secrets will block (intimacy, empathy, grieving, ability to help others, and freedom). Ultimately - when a man working recovery is sitting on secrets, it will increase the chances of him acting out. But we’re not going to leave you there...

Dec 04, 2020•21 min

#9: This Isn't the Whole Story

In this episode, I (Shelley) share how difficult it is when my story of being a betrayed wife is the first thing that people know about me. We are so much more than this part of our stories, ladies. In this episode - I share more about how the betrayal piece is just a small part of the story and give hope and encouragement to women that are feeling like it’s all consuming for them in the here and now. Selah Summit and Mallory Morgan - you can get to know her here. “ God reached out His arm and p...

Nov 20, 2020•23 min

#8: Anxiety, Women's Intuition and Trust

In this episode, we discuss several strategies to mitigate anxiety during the recovery process. It’s fair to say we segue into some other topics - women’s intuition, women trusting other women, support groups, who is driving the recovery bus. Let’s just say you’re going to feel like you are sitting in our living room while Jason and I are chit-chatting. So grab a warm drink and a blanket and get comfortable. We are so glad you are here! The Restore Workshop is this weekend. More details about th...

Nov 13, 2020•21 min

#7: Toxic Shame and Biblical Shame

Did you know there are two different types of shame? There is toxic shame, which most of us refer to and talk about these days; and then there is Biblical shame. Shame is complicated, yáll, and because of that, Jason does most of the talking here. I was just trying to keep up! Keep in mind that we must work through the toxic shame before we can work through the Biblical shame. However - Biblical shame only applies when we have done something wrong. Otherwise, we are only dealing with toxic shame...

Nov 06, 2020•26 min

#6: The Importance of Empathy (not Sympathy)

Have you heard him say - “I’m sorry I hurt you. You would be better off without me.” And it doesn’t actually help? This is because comments like this are enveloped in shame and are sympathetic, but not empathetic. In this episode, Jason and I talk through what she needs to hear and how, yes, HOW he can learn to be empathetic. Get your pen and paper ready - you’re going to want to take notes! Video by Brene Brown on Empathy versus Sympathy Wanting more of this? Jason teaches a MasterClass on Empa...

Oct 30, 2020•26 min

#5: When There Is No Good Answer

Piggy-backing off of the last episode, there are times when there is no good answer for the questions that she might be asking. This doesn't mean that the questions aren't worthwhile. Not even close - her questions are incredibly important because it's part of how she is working through her grieving process. "I don't remember" is not a good answer. Listen in as Jason and Shelly share three practical things to help answer the unanswerable questions. We talk about empathy and Jason teaches a 5-wee...

Oct 23, 2020•17 min

#4: Why Did He Do This?

Why did he do this?If you haven’t already noticed, I like to give Jason a hard time (as you will hear a couple of times throughout this episode). He’s real patient with me and just rolls with it. He’s a good guy. In this episode, we talk about a big question that women ask - “Why? Why did you do this?!" I share a couple of reasons as to why she needs to hear the reasons from her husband, we talk about how answering this question is apart of the grieving process, and we also talk about what he ca...

Oct 16, 2020•24 min

#3: Navigating through Triggers in Public

We are back with a candid conversation about triggers. Have you heard of a trigger-squared? Well - it’s a real thing and we want to make sure that doesn’t happen so in this episode, we talk through some practical tips to help manage triggers in public. Links to select blog posts on triggers: here and here Questions for the Podcast? Email Shelley with the subject line: Podcast. Order the Rescued workbook here , there is a chapter devoted to understanding and working through triggers...

Oct 09, 2020•19 min

#2: What We Would Have Done Differently

Where is the roadmap for recovery? Is there a perfect way to go about it? Jason and Shelley unpack these questions as well as discuss what they would have done differently three months into the process and three years into the process. “The music happens between the notes”- the actual quote is “Music is the silence between the notes” and is accredited to Claude Debussy . Links to a select few of Shelley’s blog posts on self-care: here , here and here . Questions for the Podcast? Email Shelley wi...

Oct 02, 2020•21 min

#1: Our Story

Welcome to Redemptive Living Radio! A new podcast created for couples looking for hope as they heal from sexual betrayal in their marriages. In this first episode, we share our story, talk a bit about where we are at today and our vision for this podcast. Visit Jason’s website at redemptiveliving.com . Visit Shelley’s website at rlforwomen.com . Watch a video of Jason and Shelley’s full story. Questions for the podcast? Email Shelley with the subject line: Podcast....

Sep 19, 2020•29 min

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