Merlin admits to almost watching something on TV and encourages John to talk him out of buying a new laptop. John has concerns about dander diamonds, and Merlin briefs John on the mechanics of modern version control. This week’s first topic is **self-driving cars** and how soon they’re likely to be ready, as they say, for prime time. John cannily revisits his Parameters of the World and, no, he doesn’t need your damned telemetry. Later, you'll find The Spoiler Slot filled with a spoiler-heavy di...
Mar 07, 2017•2 hr 5 min•Ep. 47
This week, things open with a shockingly thorough discussion of chickens that somehow pivots to Costco caskets, TV buying decisions, Merlin's increasingly strange pronunciations, and John’s reluctant agreement to become a cron job. Follow-up covers John finding those charts about global living conditions and Merlin finally figuring out how to remember the name of that one song. There's a fair amount of memory talk, including more explorations of John's perpetual memory doubts and mistrust, plus,...
Feb 23, 2017•2 hr 50 min•Ep. 46
This week starts off ignominiously, with John and Merlin both not remembering several things. Merlin proposes *The File Card Effect*, and John knows not to be too smart when searching Google. John celebrates the proper use of Title Case, while Merlin frets over wearing his memories down to a nub. Mini-topic this week is Merlin’s latest fraught and stressful experience on jury duty (yes, again). John *voir dires* Merlin about his eligibility and poor continence, and Merlin introduces John to how ...
Feb 08, 2017•2 hr 51 min•Ep. 45
This week, it doesn't take long to get deep in the stack on texting people in the same room, John's take on pound-sign hashtags, and the location of Merlin's missing meat. The mini-topic this week is **tattoos**. Specifically, why Merlin has developed such strong feelings about tattoos, plus John's vision of a world free of theoretical tattoo discrimination. For the main topic, your hosts address **Money on the Internet**. How have technological and cultural changes altered our idea about what's...
Jan 26, 2017•2 hr 11 min•Ep. 44
This week, John won’t talk about his job, Merlin has jury duty (yes, *again*), and your hosts do some follow-up on documentaries. The disappearing of classic episodes of older PBS shows is lamented. The main topic this week is **Dad Stuff**. Dad Jokes, Dad Hats, and Dad…everything. In particular, when did Dad Jokes become a thing, and exactly what part of that label is supposed to be so bad and insulting? John finds a lot to like about true Dad humor, while Merlin finds himself overwhelmed by a ...
Jan 12, 2017•2 hr 57 min•Ep. 43
This week, Merlin introduces John to a thriving culture of internet busybodies. What happens when we’re only ever exposed to people who look or think like we do? What would we do with free access to an all-you-can-eat Fun Dip buffet? In follow-up, John learns about “Bay Lake,” but badly confuses his celebrity folk heroes. Around a YouTube series Merlin a perimeter creates. Your hosts debate which movies really are mostly terrible. (_Murrrrrph!_) Also, Merlin’s Netflix account gets borrowed for a...
Dec 22, 2016•2 hr 41 min•Ep. 42
This week kicks off with some contentious claims that Merlin is a crammer and John is a monster. Merlin reminds John that he is out of his depth, and John remembers things. Also, some brief talk on Apple router alternatives and learning to tolerate morning notifications. Lots of follow-up on Free Will, including thoughts on Heisenberg, tail-chasing, and provocative recent scholarship on whether what we see is “reality.” John wants to see more math. A mini-topic spins out of listener feedback: wh...
Dec 15, 2016•3 hr•Ep. 41
This week, John has follow-up from Jason the Ranger regarding the weird smell in his house. Next up, your hosts have a few quick thoughts on the recent presidential election and the extent to which convincing voters that citrus fruits are bipeds might have changed the outcome. The main topic this week is _**Free Will**_. While Merlin has concerns about bong talk and living in a fingernail, John quickly gets things refocused on people's garden-variety defenses of free will and where they probably...
Dec 01, 2016•2 hr 54 min•Ep. 40
As your hosts brace for the quadrennial U.S. Presidential election (yes, this was recorded the night before), Merlin illuminates the seedy underbelly of YouTube upload workarounds, John says Merlin’s head is definitely getting bigger, and Merlin considers John’s new theory regarding helium and weight loss. Merlin pronounces more things wrong and misses more of John’s references. John shares the mysterious tale of the weird new smell in his house, and Merlin outs himself as a relative humidity ne...
Nov 16, 2016•2 hr 57 min•Ep. 39
This week, John has been encouraged to pierce Merlin more, and Merlin still hasn’t watched _Millennium Actress_ (although they offer a helpful listener suggestion on how you can). Your hosts compare how they use Twitter these days and talk about the different ways they deploy the heart icon. They wonder aloud about who actually sees what on Twitter. The main topic this week has Merlin probing John’s thoughts on the idea of a thing being “wrong within normal parameters.” John calls someone a “sup...
Nov 01, 2016•2 hr 49 min•Ep. 38
This week, John and Merlin reminisce about the Flowbee, sea monkeys, and the alternately disappointing and satisfying quality of the action figures in their youth. Merlin briefly impersonates Dan Moren and shares that his iPhone activation problems were not unique. John conclusively demonstrates the _mini_ ways that Merlin can’t hear himself pronouncing everything wrong and bemoans the travails of jumbled Contacts syncing. The main topic this week is _whether we’re living in a simulation_ (and h...
Oct 18, 2016•2 hr 46 min•Ep. 37
This week’s follow-up covers good news/weird news on Merlin’s wife’s phone, more on “accessibility” settings, and how craftsmanship and quality often war with management. The main topic is _solo parenting_. Facing The Shoe Crisis, thrice ruining the dinosaur eggs, and finding yourself in a Staples line that’s literally not moving. Is fear and anxiety really such a smart and time-tested motivator? Is it telling that John and Merlin’s partners don’t seem to sweat mornings when _they’re_ not around...
Oct 04, 2016•1 hr 25 min•Ep. 36
This week kicks off with a look at the rise of vaping, the decline of public infrastructure, and whether it's okay for authors to sign their own books in the airport store. Merlin (*finally*) figures out how to join Slate Plus, John reminisces about Yahoo!, and both hosts advocate strongly for the vanishing genre of slow-paced movies about how things get made. The main topic this week is _magic and superstition_. What delights (or angers) your hosts in a magic show? Why can't Cardini get rid of ...
Sep 21, 2016•2 hr 58 min•Ep. 35
This week, Merlin figures out what's weird about John, and John declares Merlin to be a clique mixer. The main topic this week is _high school reunions_. Or, at least it starts out that way. John and Merlin are both pretty good at not going to things, then ruminating about it. (_Recorded Tuesday, August 30, 2016_)
Sep 06, 2016•2 hr 11 min•Ep. 34
This week opens with some follow-up on John’s recent sauce talk, including suggestions on selecting tomatoes and sweating the iffy authenticity of olive oil. John helps Merlin understand modern peaches. Listeners are encouraged to support Relay FM and are tantalized with details of a very special episode that will soon be available for members only. The main topic this week is _ratings and reviews_. John talks about how he drinks eagerly from the fire hose of product recommendations as well as s...
Aug 25, 2016•2 hr 31 min•Ep. 33
This week kicks off with some follow-up on John's receipt of the coveted Blue Check on Twitter alongside some speculation on the lack of motivation that seems to smother even Twitter's most half-hearted approaches to managing abuse. Further follow-up concerns pronunciation of "Marina" (say `məˈrēnə`), thoughts on being "The Other Guy" on a podcast, and more discussion of *thought technology*. Also, we all get dumb PR email, and, sorry, it looks like _Millennium Actress_ got pulled from the YouTu...
Aug 09, 2016•2 hr 39 min•Ep. 32
This week we open on John struggling to jump through the hoops to get _verified_ on Twitter. This leads to a discussion of the myriad ways in which abuse thrives unchecked in the absence of decisive action by Twitter-the-company. John excruciates over his now-required bio blurb. In follow-up, several listeners are thanked and acknowledged, and Good Cop John just can't believe Merlin isn't a more strident and principled critic of "The Popcorn Trick." The main topic is what we talk about when we t...
Jul 28, 2016•2 hr 47 min•Ep. 31
This week kicks off with Merlin ranting about his mixed feelings about spoiler warnings, and, as usual, John assumes the role of Good Cop on the audience's behalf. Then, there's some discussion of how John has been gently introducing Merlin to his favorite anime films. Note: audience homework to watch the film _Millennium Actress_ for future discussion is assigned. The main topic can be roughly called, "my part of the couch." More specifically, why are your hosts so piqued about how hard it is t...
Jul 14, 2016•2 hr 41 min•Ep. 30
[**N.B.** This episode contains a very brief discussion of plot points in the movie, _Finding Dory_. Skip from `0:15:41` to `0:19:33` to avoid minor spoilers.] This week kicks off with a discussion on the nature of inflammable jammies and general rehearsals for panic. There's some quick FU on Ted Leo, followed by some lessons of _Finding Dory_. This leads to yet 👏 another 👏 dive into Pixar films and what your hosts compulsively crave from them. Like: what would happen if Pixar went Full-Metal-...
Jun 30, 2016•2 hr 57 min•Ep. 29
This week starts with a vigorous dive into the X-Men movie franchise and what exactly your hosts love and don't about modern superhero movies. Then, Merlin briefly lapses into some serious *Glenning* by torturing John with anecdotes about hanging out with Aimee Mann (plus some assorted randos John’s mostly never heard of). The main topic is *repping*, a pickup of the frequent theme of a program Merlin does with Another John. How do we choose the ways we represent ourselves to the world? Whether ...
Jun 16, 2016•2 hr 6 min•Ep. 28
This week opens with John's meditation on pronunciation, accents, and the gradual disappearance of America's once-diverse tapestry of vowel sounds. This somehow leads to a rueful examination of the modern media landscape, focusing on the Big Black Box where all the ugly and capricious business of media distribution probably gets decided. Merlin confesses his existential dread about appearing on _The Incomparable_ then happily names names regarding his picks for a non-existent Favorite Hosts draf...
Jun 02, 2016•2 hr 41 min•Ep. 27
This week starts with some updates on Merlin’s cat, her newly discovered medical conditions, and Merlin’s ruminations on how much he’s prepared to tolerate regarding her health budget and snack preferences. In follow-up, the boys address the length of the last episode and debate the merits of chapter markers. Are they an attractive nuisance that encourages people to pick up one of your host’s terrible media consumption hygiene? Also, more talk on smoking, and we learn that John is surprisingly t...
May 19, 2016•2 hr 3 min•Ep. 26
This week opens with some followup on the ownership of *Star Wars* and the zero-sum game of ugly corporate distribution battles. John visits San Francisco, sees Todd and Merlin, and there is talk about the modern history of film VFX. Merlin catches John up on the extraordinary amount of _The Walking Dead_ episodes he's been watching (out of order), and John doubles down on his shocked perplexity regarding how Merlin does almost everything. The main topic this week is—wait for it— _drugs_. In par...
May 05, 2016•3 hr 21 min•Ep. 25
This week, John and Merlin have two really big topics. Things kick off with a discussion of _Star Wars_. In particular, there is extensive discussion of your hosts’ interests and preferences regarding preservation and fan restorations of the original trilogy, along with a wish list, speculations, and pipe dreams for an _official_ re-release. We can dream, can’t we? Next, the dolorous spoiler horn fires off for a detailed examination of _The Walking Dead_ (TV series). Lots of talk about how and w...
Apr 21, 2016•3 hr 43 min•Ep. 24
This week, things kick off with a lively discussion of ASMR, furries, bronies, juggaloes, some more car talk, teenaged drinking, and John’s libido. The main topic is *sense of humor*. How, where, when, and from whom did the boys learn what makes them laugh? How come British things seem extra funny? Why does Lisa need braces? How did the Harlem Globetrotters get away with using a ladder? Does she go? Eh?
Apr 07, 2016•2 hr 11 min•Ep. 23
This week, John and Merlin kick things off with a discussion of the non-English languages kids get exposed to and how *Mandarin* maybe isn't the new *French*. The main topic focuses on _cars and driving_. First, there's the automobiles that their families did or didn't drive and why. Then, John educates Merlin on the evolution of consumer car design over the past 30 years. This leads to more personal thoughts on their early days of driving, including the madness of *Driver's Ed* and the indignit...
Mar 22, 2016•2 hr 16 min•Ep. 22
This week kicks off with some depressing follow-up on Merlin’s stove and his concern that John might think he’s a terrible person. John bemoans the dilapidated state of his own house as well as his grudging tolerance for that state. The main topic is _meeting your heroes_. Who do you wish you could meet and why? What would you say to Steve Jobs in an elevator or Bill Murray on a plane? John marvels at Merlin’s comfort with his many celebrity connections, and Merlin gives some handy tips on not a...
Mar 10, 2016•2 hr 59 min•Ep. 21
This week, John and Merlin kick things off with a discussion of the Sturm und Drang around dealing with kids’ homework. Things continue with a mostly spoiler-free discussion of _The Leftovers_. The main topic is _trust your mechanic_. How to survive working with the experts who diagnose **and** fix your problems. John's not a Dead Kennedys fan, and Merlin's just so irrationally mad about the state of his oven.
Feb 25, 2016•2 hr 34 min•Ep. 20
This week, John and Merlin start out by talking about the value of exposing yourself to new or uncomfortable ideas (and how it can be difficult). Following a tuneful diversion on their favorite music as kids, the boys jump into the main topic: _how and when to recommend things to other people_. What's right and for whom? How do you distinguish the "best" versus your "favorite" as against "the best place to start?" Why Merlin goes conservative and John is reluctant to recommend things at all. Als...
Feb 11, 2016•2 hr 59 min•Ep. 19
This week, John ruthlessly critiques Merlin's Google Docs style, followed by a tentative announcement about how listeners can help support the show. The primary topic this week is _names and naming_. Merlin struggles in vain to pronounce John's name to his satisfaction, John reveals his middle name, and the boys dive deep on the lore, reality, and complexities of how both people and stuff get their names. Apologies to Daenerys, **BETH!**, Liz, and Jeh-*NIGH*-fur. Finally, Merlin reveals that his...
Jan 28, 2016•2 hr 52 min•Ep. 18
