RAR #217:  It’s Time to Put Some Pinecones Back

Sarah Mackenzie (00:00): This is like me picking up pine cones in the middle of my nine mile hike and adding them to my backpack. We do it all the time. We do it even if we aren't new to homeschooling, because, you guys, I am not new to homeschooling and I find myself doing it still. So today I want to invite you to peek into your backpack. It's time to put some pine cones back. (00:31): Hey there, I'm Sarah McKenzie, and this is the Read-Aloud Revival, the show that helps your kids fall in love with books and helps you fall in love with homeschooling. By now, most of us are knee deep in our homeschool year, right? And no matter how far you are into your year, and no matter what's happened that you either expected to happen or didn't, I'm willing to bet that something funny has happened. You're carrying around a lot of pine cones. No? Oh yeah, I bet you are. I'll explain in just a moment. But first, let me tell you about my husband. [NEW_PARAGRAPH]My husband, Andrew, is a backpacker. Hiking miles out into the wilderness to sleep on the hard ground is his idea of a good time. Don't get me wrong, I'm a nature girl. I love spending long stretches of time outdoors with my family. I just like conveniences at the end, like, I don't know, toilets, showers, mattresses. (01:45): Anyway, the first time Andrew went backpacking on his own, this was several years ago now, he was very excited about it. He was going to hike out at Omelas Lake in Montana. This is about a nine-ish mile hike out and a nine-ish mile hike back. So he'd hike out, set up camp at Omelas Lake, spend a couple of nights there before hiking back out. And he'd been looking forward to this, reading about it, preparing for this trip by doing, what seemed to me, to be a very reasonable way to prepare, right. He considered everything he might need or want on such an excursion. He made a list. He piled all those supplies onto our kitchen table. He made homemade beef jerky and gathered up bear spray and extra water. And he even had a small ax to cut firewood. The night before he set out, he weighed his backpack. It was 56 pounds. It doesn't matter, he was excited. This was going to be the best weekend ever. And so the following morning he set out, he had a terrible time. (02:54): His backpack, he told me afterward, was digging into his shoulders. Right, left, right, left. You step with your right foot and the backpack digs in on the right side. You step with your left foot and the backpack digs in on the left into your shoulder. Only a mile in, every step felt difficult. He told me he spent the next several miles fantasizing about what he had in his backpack that he could throw into the fire when he finally set up camp just so he wouldn't have to pack it back out. It was very slow going, he wasn't making the progress he'd hoped to. And I should have mentioned, about six miles of this nine mile hike is uphill. And although his guidebook said it would take about five hours to hike it, he was not making that kind of time. The day is dragging on, every minute's a slog. He's completely miserable. And as the light began to wane, he wasn't at all sure he'd make it to where he planned to set up camp. (03:57): I think it's worth pausing here to consider something kind of important. The point of hiking is to enjoy the hike, right? To enjoy nature, to clear your head and take in the views, to do the actual hiking. But all Andrew could think about as he hiked was getting to the end. He told me his head was loud, full of thoughts like, why do I do this? I don't have to do this if I don't want to, I wish I hadn't come, I'm so tired, I'm so, so tired. (04:27): The longer the hike got, in fact, the more he couldn't stop thinking about how much every part of his body hurt, how tired he was and how he just wanted to be at the end of it. Now, about the time he said that he felt like he wanted to just roll to the side of the trail and die, I realized this is exactly like homeschooling. Hear me out, because isn't this the way we set out in our homeschooling too? We get excited about a new school year. We have a vision for the kind of joy filled learning that will happen in our homes. Before the year begins, we think through all the things we might want or need on our journey, and then we pack it all in. Liz (05:13): I discovered this last year that I had a tendency to see an activity for homeschool kids, whether it's a gym class or an art class, or any activity marketed for homeschoolers in my area. I thought, oh, my kids need to do that. Sarah Mackenzie (05:35): That's Liz, an RAR premium member and a homeschooling mom of three, ages, nine, eight, and 18 months. And she's not alone. Here's Kristen, another RAR premium member. Kristen (05:48): I have definitely had times when I added curriculum in the middle of a school year and it did not go well. My downfall, I would get on Instagram, or then I'd get emails because they'd have these promotions and oh, this bundle is on sale. And I'd start looking at it and be like, "Oh my goodness, this would be...", there'd be some great material that I could add in to make it more fun. You don't want to miss out, I want my kids to be able to have fun and experience different things. And I'd be like, "Oh, this would be great. This would help". (06:15): Well, I would buy the bundle to my additional curriculum that I already had, which was fine and nothing wrong with it. I just thought I needed to add fun. And what would turn into is way more stress because I had all of these papers I had to print and I needed to organize them and put them in folders. And I was taking so much time doing that, that I was not spending the time with my kids in their normal subjects because I was like, I've got to get this done. Sarah Mackenzie (06:45): Reading, writing, math, geography, art history, art study, composer study, nature study, field trips, gardening, cooking, co-op classes. I haven't even started on the extracurricular. So if your kids play sports or take music lessons, add that in too. We decide at the beginning of a new school year what we want to use for all of the subjects we think we need to teach our kids. And just like my husband did, as he's laying out all of his supplies he thinks he might want on his hiking trip, and he lays them on the kitchen table and then crams them into his backpack. Just like that, we lay out in our lesson planner or on a spreadsheet, or on a giant list, everything we might want to cover in the upcoming school year. And we start stockpiling everything we need. Book lists, curriculum, lesson plans, art supplies, science tools. We gather up so much and then we jam it into our metaphorical backpack. (07:37): That backpack is 56 pounds and it is hard to carry. And actually I think we do something else as homeschoolers, something my husband did not do on that trip. Because I don't know if this ever happens to you, but it happens to me. I go to homeschool co-op, or maybe I go on social media and I see someone else sharing a, I don't know, beautiful literature based geography program they're doing. Weekly maps based on read-alouds. Okay, we love maps and read-alouds and it's only once a week. So I decide we're going to add that in. And then I'm talking with a friend and she's singing the praises of a musical set that helps kids learn their multiplication facts. That seems really important, and my kids are struggling with learning their multiplication facts. So I add that in, too. (08:22): And then a new class opens up at a church nearby that teaches karate to kids of all ages, and it's only once a week and it's super affordable, and my kids have always wanted to learn karate. And you see what I'm doing, right? This is like me picking up pine cones in the middle of my nine mile hike and adding them to my backpack. We do it all the time. We do it even if we aren't new to homeschooling because, you guys, I am not new to homeschooling and I find myself doing it still. (08:53): So today I want to invite you to peek into your backpack. It's time to put some pine cones back. They'll be there later, they'll still be on the trail, we can pick them up another time if we're still really interested in them. Maybe we can pick them up on the hike out. But we don't need to overload our backpacks right now. (09:19): Listen, my husband went back to Omelas Lake a year later, and in the meantime he read up on ultra light backpacking. He was determined to enjoy this. This was something he had wanted to do and he was going to find a way to enjoy it. So basically in his learning on how to be an ultralight backpacker, the three foundational things, he says, are the pack, the sleeping bag, and the tent. So he swapped out those supplies, the backpack and the sleeping bag and the tent for lighter weight versions that weren't as heavy and didn't take up as much space. (09:50): And then he decided he wouldn't pack everything he thought he'd want. He'd only pack what he needed, only the essentials. So he didn't bring a change of shorts because that pair of cargo shorts that he threw in his backpack the first time, that was like three pounds. He didn't bring extra water. He just brought enough, and then he brought a filter kit so he could filter the water he got from the lake, once he got there. He didn't pack extra food, he just packed enough. And you know what? He had the time of his life. He loved every minute, he enjoyed the hike in. It's worth mentioning that it was still hard work. I mean, the trail didn't change, it was still six miles uphill. But when he got to his destination, he had enjoyed the path he took to get there. And then he could climb into his sleeping bag that night, and he was the good kind of tired that, oh, what a hard and also amazing day satisfaction. That kind of satisfaction that comes from doing good, worthwhile, difficult things. (10:52): Can we pause for just a moment to consider what this could mean for our home schools? If we were just to pack what we absolutely needed to get where we wanted to go, what would that look like? I often find that I think of all the things I want to cover with my kids over their whole education, and then I start cramming them into this year. It's almost like I feel like I'm launching my nine year olds into the world as full-fledged adults this year. It's not happening. There is time enough. We don't have to cram it all in this year. If we pack lighter, if we just ask ourselves what do we need to get where we want to go by this May or this June, then we might just enjoy that journey so much more. (11:40): And isn't that the point? My husband on this hike, that first hike, he didn't enjoy the journey at all. He just wanted it to be over. And what is the point of hiking or backpacking if you just want the whole thing to be over, if you just want to get to the end of it. The actual doing, the hiking, is the point. And in our homeschooling, the day to day, that's the point. Our goal is not to get done with it. Our goal is to be doing the thing. And then we'll, we'll have the energy to take in the views and laugh and enjoy our kids, and also get to our destination and not wonder if we're going to make it to our destination before sundown. And then we'll be satisfied with how we got there, and we'll want to keep going again next year. (12:25): So today I'm inviting you to peek into your backpack and see if there's anything you can take out. And for goodness sake, let's take out the pine cones we've been picking up along the way this year. Okay, so I've got a couple of journaling prompts to help you think about this in your own life and really figure out what's in your backpack. So get out of pen right now. Get out of pen and a notebook, or you can just open up your notes app because I know you got your phone nearby. So either get out of pen and notebook or open your notes app or at now. I'm going to wait. Yeah, I mean it right now. I'll wait a second. (13:00): Okay, you ready? Here's what I want you to jot down. If you could only pick five supplies to get you to the end of your school year, what would you need? So imagine that you're trying to get to the end of your school year, May or June. And we're not talking about to the end of your children's education, we're just talking about to the end of this school year, what are the essentials? My husband had said he needed a backpack, he needed a sleeping bag and a tent and water and food. (13:27): What are the things that you would need, five things that you would absolutely need to get to the end of your school year? Jot down whatever comes to mind first. Don't overthink it. Don't go, oh, I have to do this just right. Don't think I have to do this beautifully. It can be on a napkin, but I know you've got your phone, so just open up your notes app and just type it in. It doesn't need to be perfect, you can use bullet points. You don't need to write out full, complete sentences. I'm going to start one minute of music and I want you to answer that right now. (14:56): Good, good. My next question is, have you been picking up pine cones this year, and what are they? One more minute of music. I'll do it too. Here we go. (16:07): Look at what you've just jotted down. Listen, I know you want to do so much with your kids. I know you want to give them a beautiful education, a well-rounded education. You want to show them the depth and breadth of this beautiful world and all of the wonderful riches of it. But do you know what your kids need more than they need hands-on activities, or memorable field trips, or a well-rounded curriculum? What your kids need is a homeschooling parent who is attentive, content and peaceful. They need you to smile at them. They need just a few worthwhile ideas to think about, a few activities that challenge them and then they need a whole lot of time and attention from you to work on them. (16:55): And all of that is easier to accomplish with a lighter backpack. So let's put some pine cones back. Let's essentialize. Let's stop carting around so much with us, wondering why we're all exhausted and why we all want to quit homeschooling so many times during the middle of a school year. Liz (17:16): I realized two things. My kids like a slower pace, and being home and having free time to play. And another thing is that I could not handle that, I like being home and transitioning from one place to the other and that kind of routine was just way too much for me. So this year I'm giving myself to saying, no, we can't do that. We need to protect our downtime and our free time at home. Kristen (17:49): They say comparisons the thief of joy, and even if we don't think we're comparing, we see something and think, oh my goodness, that would be a great idea too. And finally opened my eyes one day, I saw this saying, "An artist does not go into other places of art, like art galleries, and go look around and then go home and say, this is what I'm going to do. And they see an image in their head and then they go and they paint that, or they do that creation". I thought that is so true. It's like God's given us these children and yes, it's good to get ideas, places, but if we just think about it and do what our kids love and really tap into that, it's just so much more beautiful. So definitely, I had to just step back and realize, hey, I can get my curriculum and use my ideas too, and not have to add in all this extra mess and stress in the middle of the year. Sarah Mackenzie (18:38): Now, I'll be honest here, I think it's hard to essentialize or get clear about what really matters in your own homeschool, and just to find clarity in what kind of homeschool God is calling you to do, when we are also dealing with the noise of social media. Now I know, I know, there's a lot of good in social media, I'm not going to make you feel bad about your social media use, but I will tell you something. I quit all social media about two months ago and it's amazing. I feel so much better. My mind is free. Now if you go to Instagram and you're like, Read-Aloud Revival's right there. Yes it is. My team is posting updates so that people who are on Instagram and want to get those updates can find them on Instagram or Facebook. But I'm not there, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going back. (19:26): I'm enjoying my kids more, I'm enjoying my life more. And I am not ever going to tell you what to do. But I want to extend an invitation to you, to quiet wherever you're getting noise in your life, to quiet it. Turn the volume down, so that you can hear God's voice more clearly, so that you can hear your own thoughts more clearly. And so that you can set some of those pine cones aside. Take some of that stuff out of your backpack, pack lighter and enjoy the journey. This homeschooling thing, the whole point is in the day to day, it's not in getting to the end. (20:04): Now we're going to be talking more about how to essentialize in our home schools and how to choose what those most important priorities are. If you had a hard time answering that question about what are the five things you need, that's something we're going to be talking a lot about. How do we pack light? How do we enjoy the journey? We're doing it all in our newly revamped coaching program in RAR Premium, it's called Circle with Sarah. And if this episode was helpful to you, you should join us. We're going to be doing something like this every week in the new year with an exclusive podcast and a weekly email. And that all has the single intent of helping us find peace and clarity and joy in our homeschool journeys. I hope you join us. If you'd like to, just text my name, Sarah, S-A-R-A-H, to the number 33777, and I'll text you a direct signup link. Or you can just go to rarpremium.com to join us. Now let's hear from some Read-Aloud Revival kids. Speaker 4 (21:09): Hello? Clarkey (21:10): Hello. Speaker 4 (21:14): My name is Clarkey. Clarkey (21:15): My name is Clarkey. Speaker 4 (21:15): We live in Hastings. Clarkey (21:18): We live in Hastings? Speaker 4 (21:22): [inaudible 00:21:22] Clarkey (21:22): Crescent. (21:24): How old are you? Speaker 4 (21:24): I'm four. Clarkey (21:29): He's four. What's your favorite book? Speaker 4 (21:35): Do You Speak Fish? Clarkey (21:36): Do You Speak Fish? Speaker 4 (21:36): Yeah. Clarkey (21:38): Why do you like that book? Speaker 4 (21:40): That it have a fish in it. Clarkey (21:42): Because it has a fish in it. Speaker 6 (21:46): What's your name? Hazel (21:46): Hazel. Speaker 6 (21:48): Hazel, how old are you? Hazel (21:50): Five. Speaker 6 (21:51): And where do you live? Hazel (21:52): In Idaho. Speaker 6 (21:53): What's your favorite book? Hazel (21:57): I'm the Gingerbread Man. Speaker 6 (21:58): The Gingerbread Man. What's your favorite part? Hazel (21:58): Where the fox eats the Gingerbread Man. Joe (22:08): I am Joe, and I am eight years old, and I live in Omaha, Nebraska. And I like Percy Jackson because it has a lot of adventure and I just think it's a good book. Noah (22:17): My name is Noah Workentine, I'm 10 years old and I live in Omaha, Nebraska. My favorite book is The Lord of the Rings because it's very interesting and detailed. I like reading it because you don't know what's going to happen next. Charlotte (22:31): Hi, my name is Charlotte and I'm eight years old and I live in Ontario, Canada. And my favorite book read aloud to me was the Vanderbeekers of 141st Street. I liked the first book because Mr. Beaterman, their landlord, is going to kick him out and somebody else is going to rent the bottom floor, but they convince Mr. Beaterman with a kitten to keep them there. Nathan (23:08): Hi, my name is Nathan and I really like the books that's called The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. And I am six years old and I live in Canada, Ontario. I really liked it when Lucy found a secret wardrobe in the house. Beatrice (23:34): My name is Beatrice, and I'm five years old and I live in Missouri. And my favorite book is The Match Locker. I like it because there is Edward, and he's my favorite character because he saved his mom from dying. Sarah Mackenzie (24:00): Kids, thank you. I hope this episode helps you put some pine cones back. Join us in Circle with Sarah as we continue this very important work of finding clarity and joy and contentment and peace in the home schools that we already have. Text my name Sarah, S-A-R-A-H, to the number 33777 and I'll send you a direct signup link to join us in Circle with Sarah. Or you can go to rerpremium.com. (24:32): I'll be back in two weeks with another episode of the Read-Aloud Revival, but in the meantime, you know what to do. Go make meaningful and lasting connections with your kids through books.