Best of RAR: What to Do When Reading Becomes a Slog

Sarah Mackenzie (00:05): Hello, hello. Sarah Mackenzie here with another episode of the Read-Aloud Revival Podcast, the show that helps your kids fall in love with books and helps you fall in love with homeschooling. There is something tragic that happens when our kids become readers of their own write. It doesn't always happen, of course, and there are ways to prevent it, but it's awfully common. That thing I'm talking about when reading starts to feel like a slog, when your kids start to equate reading with schoolwork. Now, I think this happens to all of our kids at one point or another. Reading shifts in our kids' lives from being principally about joy and delight into something that has to be done for school. (00:55): Compare a three or four-year-old who climbs into your lap and begs you to read one more story with an older school child who now associates most of their reading to be done with school, so they associate it with schoolwork. It becomes a slog and a lot of parents notice a significant drop in how much their kids are reading for pleasure, if they're reading for pleasure at all once the school year's well underway. And I think this becomes more and more true the older our kids get. Now, that's a problem, because we know that lifelong readers are people who love reading, who enjoy reading. And honestly, we want to guard against this slip into reading becoming associated with the slog of schoolwork, but it's actually simpler than you might think it is. (01:43): It's not that hard or complicated. We just have to be aware of what's happening and then make a few little minor shifts to help reading regain its joy. So, on today's podcast, we're talking all about what to do when reading becomes a slog. This podcast actually aired several years ago. I'm re-airing it today, because I think it's just that important and because it's that time of year where you might notice your kids starting to complain a little bit when you tell them it's time to read. So, what can we do when reading starts to feel like school? Keep listening. According to the National Literacy Trust, those who enjoy reading are better readers, they're more confident readers, they spend less time online, are more motivated by interest, and achievement and they're less motivated by approval. (02:41): We also know based on the work of Stephen Krashen... And I'll link to his book in the show notes. And actually, I'll link to all of my sources here in the show notes. But we know that no single literacy activity has a more positive effect on comprehension, vocabulary, spelling, writing ability or overall academic achievement than free voluntary reading. Not reading done for school, not assigned reading, free voluntary reading. I want to sit on this for a moment, because the emphasis here is on reading for pleasure. Simply being able to read or simply reading is something that's assigned, it just doesn't confer the same benefits as reading for pleasure, reading because our kids want to. (03:35): So, then it becomes obvious why it's a red flag when reading starts to feel like school. It's a red flag, actually, if the bulk of reading your child does is school-related. The bulk of the reading they do should be their own free voluntary reading. So, if our kids are starting to do most of their reading for schoolwork, or they're starting to complain about it or to see reading as something they want to get done so they can be done with their assignments, done with their schoolwork, then we want to take a moment and really consider our goals here. Because if our children read for pleasure and they see reading primarily as a source of delight and joy, if they enjoy most of their reading, they don't have to enjoy all of it, but if they enjoy most of it, then they're far more likely to become lifelong readers. Which is really, really important, because most of the reading your kids do should actually happen when they're adults. (04:35): They're only in our home for a small percentage of their whole lives, God willing, 20% or something of their lives. Most of the reading they do then should happen after they leave our home, not before. That's simply not going to happen unless they love it. We know this, that adults don't read unless they love it, unless they see it primarily as a source of delight. So, I think it's worth taking a few minutes to think through a few things in these moments, which, like I said, happened to every single one of us. When reading starts to feel more like school and less like joy, what do we do? How can we respond to that? So, first, some good news, and that is that less is very often more. Look, I know this much, I want my kids to leave my home believing that Shakespeare plays are hilarious, and delightful, and moving, and lasting, and fun to read and watch. (05:29): I don't care if they've read every single Shakespeare play. I want them to love Shakespeare so much that they want to keep reading him after they leave home. Whether they read Shakespeare's entire canon or even his most famous works is far less important to me than the fact that they love Shakespeare, because then I know that they'll keep reading him. They'll keep seeking out his work after they leave home. Same with the classics. I want my kids to have such a positive experience with the classics that they're eager to read more, even when they don't have to. This is far less likely if we're trying to read a lot of books. There's a huge difference between rushing through a book in order to get it checked off the list and to be able to say, "We've done it," and really relishing a book. (06:18): In one of my favorite books, The Pleasures of Reading in an Age of Distraction by Alan Jacobs, and we've had Alan Jacobs here on the show a couple of times. We'll put links to his episodes in the show notes or you can just search for them in your podcast app. But he is a professor in the honors humanities program at Baylor University. And in The Pleasures of Reading in an Age of Distraction, he says that a student is, and here's a quote, "Not just attentive to what he or she studies, but positively disposed toward it, friendly, even affectionate. Not just attentive to what he or she studies, but positively disposed toward it, friendly, even affectionate." (07:06): This is the disposition we want our kids to take with the books that they read, whether they're presented for school or they're reading for fun. Not just attentive, but also positively disposed toward it, friendly toward it, affectionate toward it. And so, I can ask myself, are my kids friendly and affectionate toward the books that I'm assigning them for school? Are they friendly and affectionate toward the books that they're reading for fun? Are they reading for fun? So, when I see a curriculum, any curriculum at any age that has a long reading list, that's a big red flag for me, because I know it's going to be much harder for my kids to savor, relish, enjoy and immerse themselves in those books because they're having to read so many. (07:47): One of the other quotes I love from The Pleasures of Reading in an Age of Distraction is on page 67, when Alan Jacobs says that, "Reading is supposed to be the encounter with other minds." "The encounter with other minds." Now, an encounter with other minds is going to take time. He also cautions that most of us read too fast, way faster than is good for us. And so, having a shorter list gives us breathing room. It helps us remember, we don't need to read fast. You don't get the benefits of reading by getting to the end of the book and shutting it. You get the benefits of reading by reading. Well, you're actually doing the active reading, so you can slow down and take longer with each book, and not feel so rushed and you'll get the benefits. You don't have to finish the books to get... (08:37): In fact, I would argue that if you're reading a book slowly and relishing it, you're getting far more benefits from that book than you would by just finishing it quickly and moving on to the next. Reading faster is not reading better. In fact, it's quite the opposite of reading better. So, if we know this, if we know that less is very often more when it comes to our books and kids, I think this frees us up a little bit to number one, assign fewer books if we're assigning books in our school. And I did a whole class in RAR Premium just recently on how to assign books to your kids without killing their love of reading. So, if this is a pain point for you and you're finding that you're having a hard time assigning books related to history, or literature, or for older kids and high schoolers especially, then come on into RAR Premium and watch that replay, because I think you'll find some help there. (09:25): You can join us in Premium at rarpremium.com. And if you're already a Premium member, you'll find that replay in the For Mamas section of Premium. But we can breathe a little easier. We can be more comfortable, because we don't have to get through some big list. We're just enjoying books. And also, if we realize that our kids don't need to have some really impressive long list of titles, it's more important that they're spending time every day reading than that they're finishing lots and lots of books. This can help us, I think, take a lot more pleasure in our reading. It takes the pressure off of needing to read a ton of books, and instead just make space and time for being a reader. (10:08): Here's some more good news. So, not only is less very often more, but there is no one right reading list. Like I said, if we're raising readers, then most of the reading our kids will do will happen after they leave our homes. And that means our job is to help them fall in love with reading widely and then to nurture that love, not read through a list of essential books to read before your kids leave home or whatever. There's a lot of those lists out there, the classics your kids have to read before they leave home. The good news is there is no one reading list of books your kids have to read before we leave home. It is way more important that our kids are reading for delight, and pleasure, and enjoyment, and they're relishing, and enjoying, and sitting with it, and asking questions and having a good time. That's going to take them so much further in their reading lives. (11:01): So, keeping in mind that less is very often more and that there is no one right reading list, let's talk about a couple of tips that can make this easier and doable. If you're noticing that your kids are seeing reading as school, that reading has become a task, it has become school and a thing to check off the list, then I think there's a couple of things that we can do, a couple of responses we can have that might help a little bit. Number one is that any books that your kids are really struggling with, maybe complaining about, this could be an assigned book that they're reading for literature or history or any part of their curriculum, and it could also just be any book that they're not really enjoying but they need to read for school. I have found that my kids, especially my teens, enjoy doing those books together on audiobook. (11:51): We enjoy reading classics together much, much more when we listen to a professional narrator do a really good job of reading the book aloud to us. So, last year, for example, one book we read is the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. And we listened to the audio version narrated by Elijah Wood. We actually worked on this big puzzle while we listened. And the kids would ask for it first thing every school day, because we all enjoyed it so much. Now, here's the thing, if you're going to read most of your classics, or most of your assigned books, or most of the hard books, or whatever, on audiobook with your kids, the truth is you're not going to be able to read through a really long list of them. You're going to be able to read fewer books. (12:34): And that's okay, because remember, less is quite often more. So, I decided that I would rather read three or four classic books and maybe one Shakespeare play a year with my kids, and just have them fall head over heels with them than reading through some big list. This I think ends up being a win for us. Last year, I'll tell you what, we were at a bookstore. My fifteen-year-old son saw another book by Mark Twain on the shelf. And he grabbed it and looked at me and said, "Hey, I bet this is good, I loved Huckleberry Finn." I am just not convinced that would've been his reaction if I had said, "Read this book over the next couple of weeks on your own and then write an essay," or, "Read these books and then fill out these worksheets," or, "Do this literature response workbook or something." So, I think we need to remember our goal. (13:22): If we want our kids to be lifelong readers and to love reading, then we might want to think about how our homeschool program or how our typical ways of assigning books are helping our kids develop the skills that they need to be adult readers outside of school. Because that's our goal, is for them to be adult readers even when they don't have to be. So, that after my kids read the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, I want it to be more likely that they'll pick up another book by Mark Twain on their own. After we read A Midsummer Night's Dream or Hamlet, I want it to be more likely that they'll want to go see a Shakespeare play or read through a Shakespeare play for pleasure a year from now, 10 years from now, 40 years from now, because it was a good experience. (14:05): So, if you're starting to notice that your kids are feeling like school is drudgery and something on the to-do list, see if listening to an audiobook, doing it together, reading it aloud could help. And slow down that pace so that you have time to dive into it, immerse yourselves in it. Get out a big puzzle. Get out some popcorn or some brownies. Do something that makes it feel more like an invitation to enjoyment, rather than a thing on the checklist. Another idea is simply just to take a break from the books that you feel like you all should be reading and just allow some delight reading for a while. Or instead of saying, "We're going to do this instead of any of our school reading," you can just make a pocket of time in your day, a half an hour after lunch or after dinner. Or I find it easier to do earlier in the day than later. (15:01): So, if you're homeschooling and you have your kids home with you, you have that luxury that you can do this earlier in the day. And give yourself a pocket of time that is just for delight reading, just for free voluntary reading. This is a half an hour everybody reads, mom included. Does not matter if the kitchen sink is full of dishes, if we're way behind on laundry, and if we haven't gotten to math yet, none of that matters. This is the 30 minutes that we read. We drop everything and we read. And during this period of time, we read whatever we want, whatever gives us joy. And we don't have to read our school books or try to get things checked off during this time. This is a half an hour that we spend just enjoying books. And your kids who are younger or who are not fluent readers yet can do these on audiobook. (15:45): In fact, in our house for years, some of my kids have been listening to audiobooks during our quiet reading time. And they have listened to so many excellent classics, in fact and other enjoyable, delightful bits of literature by doing it through audiobook. We have a list with this episode of books that tend to just be wins, like fun, delightful wins. They might not mash up with what you're learning in history. They might not be on your literature curriculum. They're probably not. It would be better if they weren't. Just something that is absolutely delightful to read. And we're going to have a list of about 10 books that do that for a wide range of ages. So, if you were like, you know what, we need to read something fun to find our joy again, come to the show notes. Those are at readaloudrevival.com/165, because that's where we're putting that list for you. And those are good books for a good wide range of ages. (16:38): Now, we have been reading The Book Whisperer by Donalyn Miller in our Mama Book Club in RAR Premium this fall. And this is an excellent book for anyone who wants to make sure that their kids love reading more at the end of each school day. I know for most kids, at the end of the school day, they wouldn't say that they love reading more than at the beginning. They're actually just glad to be done with the reading they had to do. But we want our kids to love reading more at the end of the school day, at the end of the school year than they did at the beginning, not less. So, if that's you, that's a good book recommendation for you to read. It's called The Book Whisperer by Donalyn Miller. It's an excellent book. (17:18): Now, it's actually written for classroom teachers, for middle school, I think, classroom teachers. But in RAR Premium, what we've been doing in the forum and with our Mama Book Club is getting into the nitty-gritty of how to take her ideas and principles and make them come alive in our homes and our home-schools. So, if that's of interest to you, you can check that out in RAR Premium. If you're already a part of Premium but you've missed any of this, head to the forum, you'll find everything you need there. And if you would like to join us for that conversation, we would love to have you. And you can join us by going to rarpremium.com. Now, I know it can feel like I'm failing if your kids don't currently enjoy reading. (18:01): If you've got kids right now who are just not readers for fun, they don't enjoy reading, it's definitely something to check off their checklist, and they don't even do that without complaining about it. There's always time to instill a love of reading. You are never too late. I have met so many adults who didn't think of themselves as readers until they became adults. And knowing that, I think it's important because it can keep us grounded. It can help us make decisions when we're looking at literature curriculum that dissects a book to death and we wonder if we really need to use this. The question then is, what's your goal? Is your goal for your child to be able to dissect The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn or Heidi or The Scarlet Letter in detail? Or is your goal for your child to be a reader? (18:48): It can help you avoid panic. When you're looking at a long list of hard books or classics that are tied to a curriculum, you can ask yourself, how important is it to me that my child has ticked all of these off a list, or is it my goal that they fall in love with some of these? And it just frees you up to be the master of your curriculum then, to be the master of the plan and say, you know what, we're going to do reading a little differently than was done when I was in school. And we're going to do reading a little differently than this curriculum might say, or then the general society's expectation of what reading in school should look like, because we are raising readers in this house. (19:25): And so, that helps us avoid panic when we realize our kids don't really need to read long lists of books. They need to be reading most days for pleasure a lot of the time. I think it can just help us all enjoy the process more and help our kids enjoy reading more, because less is so very often more when it comes to reading. Less titles, less pressure, less expectations, that you squeeze all the juice out of every book. Don't miss any theme, or character, or trope or alliteration, that their first and foremost stories. And remembering that less is so often more, that there is no one right reading list. That a delight in reading matters far more than having read a particular book or a particular list of books, or knowing the themes or central points of certain books, or having finished a curriculum, or a literature guide, or whatever, for school. Growing readers so that they're readers well into their adulthood matters. (20:26): If that matters more to you, then you're going to want reading to look a little different in your home, because love of reading matters more than all of it. So, pop some popcorn, mix up a cup of cocoa or lemonade and read something just for fun. Read it allowed, and that makes it even better. In the show notes, like I said, we're offering a list of some of our favorite fun books that might just help you infuse some delight back into your family's and your kids' reading lives. And if you're struggling or your kids are struggling to read for pleasure, I would highly recommend that you table whatever you're reading for a school day, or a week, or even just a half an hour and read one of these aloud together or on audio. Make it an opportunity for connection. (21:11): These are books that are great for a wide variety of ages. So, you can read them aloud with young kids and with older kids, with the expectations that you're just going to enjoy each other's company and enjoy this story. Again, that list is at readaloudrevival.com/165. I hope that gives you some ideas for what to do if and when reading starts to feel like a slog at your house. It's happened to all of us at one point or another. I know I start to panic if I have a kid complaining about reading. I'm like, wait, what happened? How are we possibly complaining about the bowl of ice cream? That's what I think in my head. But again, it's not complicated. Just a few little simple tweaks, and I think the right mindset shift, reminding ourselves of what we're really doing here, it can help a lot. All right. Let's hear from the kids, shall we? Speaker 2 (22:07): Hello. My name is Everett and I live in Georgia. And my book that I recommend is The Little Mermaid, because it is very, very exciting and I really like it. And I would recommend that book. Speaker 3 (22:27): Hi, my name is Emma. I live in Texas. My favorite book is The Tale of Emily Windsnap, because it has mermaids in it. Speaker 4 (22:36): Hi, my name is Daniel. I live in Texas. My favorite book is the Keeper of the Lost Cities by Shannon Messenger. It is just a first of a great series. Speaker 5 (22:51): Hi. My name is Oliver. And my book, I like my book, the puppy book. Speaker 6 (22:57): He likes the puppy book. And where do you live, Oliver? Speaker 5 (23:00): I live in the puppy and I in the puppy. [inaudible 00:23:05]. Bye. Speaker 7 (23:07): What's your name? Speaker 8 (23:07): Daniel. Speaker 7 (23:07): Where do you live? Speaker 8 (23:07): River six. Speaker 7 (23:11): How old are you? Speaker 8 (23:12): Three, two. Speaker 7 (23:13): What's your favorite book? Speaker 8 (23:19): There [inaudible 00:23:20]. There's so many trucks on there. Speaker 7 (23:20): You love Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site because of all the trucks? Speaker 8 (23:24): Yeah. Speaker 7 (23:24): Good job. Say bye Speaker 8 (23:25): Bye. Speaker 9 (23:27): Hi, my name is Quinn. I'm from Indiana. My favorite book is Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. I like it because my favorite character, Snape, gets insulted. Speaker 10 (23:38): Hi, my name is Hazel. I'm from Oregon, and I recommend Greenglass House by Kate Milford because it's full of mystery. Speaker 11 (23:44): Hi, my name is Harper and I'm from Oregon. I'm 12 years old. And my favorite book series are Heartland by Lauren Brooke. Speaker 12 (23:52): Hi, my name is Hyatt. I'm from Oregon. My birthday's tomorrow. I'm turning 10. My favorite book is The Wingfeather Saga, and my favorite part in it is when Ud sings the songs. Sarah Mackenzie (24:04): Brilliant. Thank you. Thank you, kids. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I'll be back in a couple of weeks with a brand new one for you. In the meantime, you know what to do. Go make meaningful and lasting connections with your kids through books.