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Random Assault Podcast

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An uncensored, anarchic podcast, by bad people, for bad people. Welcome home.
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Episodes

Random Assault 166: The Vincent Price is Right

This week on Random Assault, listener Jesse joins us! He and the gang discusses their first kiss experiences, how Adventure Time has fallen off the wagon, and of course, the greatness that is Fred Durst.

Apr 19, 2015

Random Assault 165: Oral Exhaust

This week on Random Assault, listener Richard "Danger" Colina joins us to talk a whole heck of a lot about Majora's Mask, tell us about Worm, and partake in probably the dumbest gaming trivia quiz you'll ever hear. With a hentai game being the prize. Yup. It's one of those episodes. SEGMENT 1: - eHow tutorials are drawn by retards - Video Games Live - Rich finally gets to talk about Majora's Mask SEGMENT 2: - The Big Retarded Video Game Quiz - More Mortal Kombat lore - MKX DLC FTL - Splatterhous...

Apr 12, 2015

Random Assault 164: I Really Don't Want to Believe

This week on Random Assault, David Rhinehart joins us again to talk all about kooky spooky conspiracy theories! We write a Mario movie as made by Spike Lee, we have a quiz to give a lucky listener Hotline Miami 2, and Mitch discovers that Frito Lay is part of the Illuminati! True believers should listen! SEGMENT 1: - Alex's man-and-marlin-shaped spacesuit - The Telltale Collection - Haitians, voodoo, and Christianity - Star Trek: The Next Generation is crappy, so says Matt. - Alex bought a smart...

Mar 31, 2015

Random Assault 163: The Return of Jewfar

This week on Random Assault, Alex is off at PAX East but briefly drops in via crazy future transmissions! Replacing him this week is David Rheinharghdt who discusses with us comics like Multiversity, Zelda (yes again), and the convoluted history of Metal Gear.

Mar 24, 2015

Random Assault 162: Get Jaxed

This week on a very special Random Assault, we're joined by none other than John Parrish, aka Jax from Mortal Kombat! He discusses working on the original games, and then he and Matt talk fitness for about six hours. Then we mourn Leonard Nimoy (topical as always), talk about how overrated the N64 Zeldas are, and discuss weird PS2 gems. SEGMENT 1: - Jax from Mortal Kombat is here and Alex is constantly about to cum - Health tips from Jax - He was also a stripper and on Jerry Springer SEGMENT 2: ...

Mar 16, 2015

Random Assault 161: Some People Get The Joke

This week on Random Assault, listener and awesome fan Lindsey Turner joins us to talk about Mitch busting his back, the trouble of being queer in the south, and old cartoons because clearly we've run out of ideas at this point and we're old. SEGMENT 1: - Tabletop Games - Call of Cthulhu - Furries and being queer - Mitch really hurt his back - He also bought a new 3DS XL - Borderlands 2 - Alex started watching Attack on Titan, Matt has a conniption - Mitch watched some of RWBY - Figmas, Revoltech...

Mar 10, 2015

Random Assault 160: Oldboyz 2K14

This week on Random Assault, Alex complains about Dark Souls (meaning he sucks), then he reviews every single permutation of Oldboy (because he's Alex), and he also tells of how he was covered in green applesauce in Florida. It's a very Alex-centric episode. I mean, they ALL are, but this one especially so. SEGMENT 1: - Mortal Kombat X - Dark Souls - The Lore of Wheel of Fortune - PAT SAJAK IS THE DEVIL - Game show creepypastas SEGMENT 2: - Alex got slimed at Nickelodeon Studios - Oldboy SEGMENT...

Mar 05, 2015

Random Assault 159: Slide Wistful

This week on Random Assault, Matt gets a new toy, we answer your questions, and somehow we manage to relate Roman Reigns, Spoony, and criticism as a whole. It's gonna be WACKY! SEGMENT 1: - Slide whistle - Theatrhythm Final Fantasy Curtain Call - Shout Factory - Kate's poor asshole - Getting in trouble with teachers SEGMENT 2: - Legend of Zelda Netflix show - Roman Reigns, Spoony, and criticism SEGMENT 3: - Listener questions - SABAN'S PINOCCHIO

Feb 23, 2015

Random Assault 158: American Taiko

This week on Random Assault, we're joined by superfan and Mitch's childhood friend, AJ! We recap MAGfest, discuss the bullshit around copyright, and AJ tells embarrassing tales of Mitch from the homeland while Matt gets super butthurt about stuff! So it's pretty much a normal show. Except for Mitch ripping off Alex's quiz from a few episodes back, involving Western pop music in North American releases of Japanese music games.

Feb 20, 2015

Random Assault 157: MAGfest 13 Special

This week on Random Assault, hear our adventures from MAGfest 13! This episode's got it all: comedy, drama, dramedy, commas, and interviews! Listener and superfan TURbo roasts the shit out of us, and even does something unspeakable at the end of the show! This is the episode you're gonna tell your grandkids about as they check you in to the hospital for a severe case of dimentia!

Feb 13, 2015

Random Assault 156: Complicated Anime

This week on Random Assault, Le Tran joins us to get freaky with Freddy, sacrifice some souls, cast a shadow over Mordor, and track down some amiibo. There's also some talk of live-action anime adaptations, and the differences between the other Pokemon generations.

Feb 09, 2015

Random Assault 155: Marvelous

This week on Random Assault, we're joined by the lovely Mela Firefly as well as MarvelExplained, so I think you know what direction nearly every conversation in this episode takes. Yup. We talk a ton about Sonic the Hedgehog.

Feb 02, 2015

Random Assault 154: Nodus Tollens

This week on Random Assault, we get into the real nitty-gritty. We talk about the stupid Sony hacks and that dumb Interview movie, how much Matt hates Aubrey Plaza for having the gall to be born in the same state that he lives in, and we discuss whether the Vita is a contender for the 3DS, and then Mitch and Kate argue for I think a half hour about PlayStation Plus, for maybe the third time since we started this stupid show.

Jan 22, 2015

Random Assault 153: Minishing Returns

This week on Random Assault, we talk a lot about Zelda games and which ones are the best. And then Alex chokes on cereal and the show not just flies off the rails but also crashes into a seminar for people who make sense.

Jan 13, 2015

Random Assault 152: Mushroom Kingdom

This week on Random Assault, we're joined by Julia and Etai who talk about their game, Mushroom 11. We also discuss the growth of indies in the convention scene and how it might affect shows like PAX. Then we talk about surprise prolapses, and Mitch makes Matt so angry that he gives his own Cliffsnotes version of Gurren Lagann. And then we wax nostalgic about a shitload of old cartoons like the old men we are, just like everyone else on the internet with a microphone.

Jan 05, 2015

Random Assault 151: Have Fun With It

This week, we're joined by Dylan Tierney of FrontTowardsGamer, aka Phazon117. And we talk a buttload about Smash Bros! Is it a fighting game? Is it even a GAME?! You decide!

Dec 30, 2014

Random Assault 149: Talking Simulator

This week on Random Assault, Nick Robalik of Sombrero fame is here with us to talk ethics, game design, and which foods are likely to kill you. Speaking of foods, Mitch talks about eating bald eagles and how he's responsible for bringing a child into this earth (and it's not in the way you're thinking.) Also, a guy who was on fire ordered water from a Taco Bell. Because. This one's packed to the gills with content, so enjoy!

Dec 15, 2014

Random Assault 148: Huge Effing Sellouts

This week on Random Assault, we're joined by a flurry of guests! Kori sits in with Mitch again, and the long-awaited appearance of RA superfans TURbo and Chris Ott! The guys jerk each other off with quotes and exerpts from the RA Wiki, (lovingly run by TURbo), then they argue about Sonic games and we get the final chapter of The Saga of Flabslapper. Oh, and two contests are announced! Be sure to listen til the third segment to find out how to win Steamalot: Epoch's Journey, and FLCL on DVD!

Dec 10, 2014

Random Assault 146: Bacon Thief

This week on Random Assault, we cross the barriers of time and space to bring you TWO special guests! Glass Knuckle Games stops by to talk about the awesome party-murder-game, Thief Town! Then Neal Laurenza from Skymap Games drops by to talk about the wonderfully cartoony Bacon-Man! Then Mitch talks too much about Bayonetta 2 and Alex talks too much about The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth, so buckle up for that.

Nov 26, 2014

Random Assault 145: Filler Up

This week on Random Assault, two of our star players (Matt and Mitch) are absent, so we sub in guests WillyFresh and David Reinhardt to help us win the pennant or something. Hole in one. Off sides. Sports! Disclaimer: sports are probably not mentioned at all in this week's podcast. Probably. This probably sounds really suspicious now. I should probably stop using the word "probably". The word "probably" probably sounds weird now that you've heard it a bunch of times in a row, doesn't it?

Nov 17, 2014

Random Assault 144: Trigger Warning

This week on Random Assault, we buckle down and tackle the important issues of the day. I hope you're not tired of GamerGate yet, because it absolutely dominates this entire show. One Minor Assault episode was not enough to confine this controversial giant of a topic! Grease up your non-gender-specific poopers.

Nov 10, 2014

Random Assault Halloween 2014: Feliz Spooklianos

It's that time of the year again! Time for ghouls and ghosts and kooky spooky... well, you know the rest. Alex forces our hosts to once again sit around the campfire and tell tales that will chill your bones! Or curse the day you ever started subscribing to us. Either or, really.

Oct 30, 2014

Random Assault 142: F**king Gameshows, Man

This week on Random Assault, Willy joins us to talk a buttload about different TV shows and junk, which leads into a TV theme song quiz, and we talk about Matt's death and funeral for like the third week in a row. Sadboys gonna sad.

Oct 30, 2014

Minor Assault: Super Smash Bros

THIS WEEK ON MIIIIIIINOR ASSAAAAAAAAULT, we have Adamant Ditto here to talk to Alex and Mitch about Super Smash Bros for 3DS, and the series as a whole. We talk about what we're excited to see in the forthcoming Wii U version, our mains, and where we thought the series hit its high point. THIS GAME'S WINNER IS... YOU!

Oct 20, 2014

Random Assault 141: Desert Limo

This week on Random Assault, we have Will Brierly, creator of Soda Drinker Pro, in with us! The topics cover a cornucopia of flavors, including GWAR, our funerals, coma theories, and Will's storied existence. ...Oh, and soda. We talk about soda for like 5 seconds.

Oct 20, 2014

Random Assault 140: The Blunder Down Under

This week on Random Assault, we're joined by Luke "TotalMortalKombat" Cunningham! We talk shit on Mike Matei, discuss racier aspects in games such as bare tits and rape, and then Alex and TMK blast you all with a firehose full of Mortal Kombat X jizz like angry cops at a peace rally. And that's just the tip of the iceberg in this extra-size episode!

Oct 13, 2014

Random Assault 139: A Fistful of Nickels

This week on Random Assault, we have a stripper on the show. Yep, we've gone full Howard Stern here, folks. So we end up taking your questions about being a stripper, and also talk about J/O crystals, driving through New York City with Matt in the car, and whether or not we would eat human. So, you know. All sexy stuff.

Oct 06, 2014

Random Assault 138: It FIGures

This week on Random Assault, Matt, Alex and Mitch, as well as quite a few guests, pile into Alex's sweaty fuckin' bedroom to talk about the Boston Festival of Indie Games! It devolves into the usual Random-Assault-branded malarkey, but this episode is triple-stuffed with interviews from the exhibitors at FIG! Also Matt makes Alex's action figures fuck. Cause, you know.

Sep 29, 2014
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