Radio Free Tote Bag

#52 A Whole Ass Year

#51 Coast to Coast Tote Bag

Howdy gang, it's an eventful week for your boys. Dono finally moved and is stoked about it. Arthur had a break up and obviously feels the opposite. But by our powers combined we're gonna make it through and you will too! So what do we got? A social media-obsessed boyfriend. How to better do "CBT". And not the therapy kind. Handling fallout after letting your friend know you have feelings for them. What to do when your otherwise wonderful long term partner gets shithoused and makes out with a str...

#50 Toterbaggy

Heyo gang it's episode 50 get down get down! We're about to start new jobs so that's good shit. We're also continuing our main gig which is SAVING RELATIONSHIPS! And this week is no different so here we go. - Conjoined twins? - How do you get your partner into your new hobby? How do you stop them from being weird about you doing it? - Naked ass abruptly pantie-wearing boyfriends, how do ya deal with em? - Boyfriend is obsessed with pimple popping to a weird degree (and that's coming from me and ...

#49 Weird Riddle Question Box And The Wife Nude Holster

Well hell yea it's Tote Bag and we've got relationship questions and also some weird shit in the question box that's unrelated but fun. Here we go, ganggggg, uhhh problems cumming with a partner, stinky peens, getting an unsolicited nude in front of your ex, only being able to masturbate to your partner, a cool remix of country roads, sixty-nine, and like a whole bunch of other good stuff. It's like 3am and I'm going to bed. But RFTB never sleeps and we're glad you're here with us!

#48 MILWAUKEEFEST 2K19 KILL ALL TONSILS YEET

Holy shit folks what a hell weekend that was! Donovan's tonsils tried to kill him but fear not! He lives on. And he and Arthur are here to bring some serious energy to this week's episode. Here's what we've got for ya: - Anti-tonsil rants - Yeeting gifts into the OCEAN - Milwaukee - Your partner wants you to masturbate in front of them but you do so in an unconventional way. Should you do it? - Communication in FWB situations - How does threesomes ends? - How to stop being the weird kid in high ...

#47 Valentines, Anesthesia, Grinding, and Defiled Cartridges

Folks we had some issues recording and we were gonna cut some shit but then we didn't so here's an extended episode. For Valentine's Day or something. Anyways, here's what you're gonna get: - An update on /r/jizzycarts (you're welcome) - Our worst Valentine's Day experiences - How to find a good first sex toy to introduce into your relationship - A girlfriend who wants her boyfriend to be rough with her but he'll only do it when he's drunk - A Tinder hookup who comes home and sticks around for F...

#46 A Streak of Bodily Fluids feat. Alex Finch of the Middle Tennessee DSA

It's R effin F T B, folks, and we're here with Alex Finch, a friend of the show and member of the organizing committee for the Middle Tennessee DSA. We get into what the DSA is about, Finch's worst dating story, and a smattering of Reddit questions and three questions from our anonymous question box! How to get past a block interfering with your kinky sex? Should your partner attend your graduation dinner instead of his cousin's when there's a potential time conflict? What's up with guys in the ...

#45 RFTB Lounge feat. Chris Harrah

We're stoked this week to have Nashville musician Chris Harrah on the show with us! Chris answers questions with us while tickling the dang ivories and peppering our advice with some beautiful music. We talk issues around one partner's drastic weight loss well into a long relationship. Why you shouldn't jump straight into marriage when you've got a bucket of problems in your relationships. And how to deal with anxiety from your high schools years when you're considering moving back to your homet...

#44 Attack of the 50 Foot Woman

Howdy gang it's episode 44 and we've got a BIG ol show for you! That's right, our fetish foyer bring us to macrophilia! We also hit our question box and talk about how to help a friend who proposed a little too early, possibly. We also talk mismatched political views and movie talkers. Cybering with strangers when in a relationship, a partner comparing job difficulty creating problems in the relationship, and how to deal with homophobic parents when you're out but too young to move out. It's all...

#43 I Want To Believe

Folks, it's a show about relationships. And occasionally Overwatch. And now Bigfoot. That's right, we found Bigfoot and he's tearing this relationship apart, Lisa! We also have a big fat question box this week, where we discuss ghosting, searching for the reason a relationship didn't pan out, and how to ask out a friend without making it weird. Finally, we return to reddit and talk meeting a potential romantic interest from class, coming out with a strange kink to your partner, and horribly toxi...

#42 Blueberries feat. Savannah White

Well good news gang, friend of the show Sav is in studio with us! We hear about her just heinous experience with a strange subway character. Then we get into some questions, including a trip to our anonymous question box! We take a trip back to the paraphilia corner and talk inflation with the girl who brought it to our attention in the first place! Can you maintain a relationship with a partner who only gets off to a fetish you don't like or understand? Our question box brings us a discussion o...

#41 RADIO FREE NEW YEAR

It's 2019 folks, holy smokes, we have high hopes. But not yet because Dono has been infected by the dreaded cold. But that's alright, we're comin in hot regardless. We've got updates on our NYEs, we've got a question box question, we've got a listener review! And we've got drunken professions of love, we've got grief sex, we've got lunch break truck bangin! Trying to get past trauma without relying on medication, new years fights over seemingly nothing, and non-responding sleepy boyfriends. It's...

#40 High Effort Tonight Show Bit And A Happy New Year

Howdy folks it's the holiday season and I think this is the last episode of the year! And what an episode it is because Dono's comin at you with a clearly well thought out tonight show monologue bit. We have a bucketload of reddit questions and we'll be back in the new year with season two. We hope you have a sick nasty xmas or whatever you celebrate and we appreciate you listening through this, our star-spangled first year.

#39 Mission Failed, We'll Get Em Next Time

Happy Thursday Tote Gang, we're happy to be here with you. And boy do we have a show for you. We've got another great week for the question box. Six whole questions! Unfortunately half of them are follow-ups to the cat penis question from last week. But as always, we respond to them all. We also talk calming down and getting out there to improve your dating game, discovering your gender identity in your late twenties, and how to come out with your political convictions to your parents and family...

#38 Tangent Boys

Alright gang welcome to RFTB, a show about relationships and also Donovan's weird Wikipedia habit. We hear some poetry from Arthur and hit some questions like a comet. We talk shitty gifts. Then we get to our THREE questions from the anonymous question box! One is about a cat penis. We're sorry. But the other two are a little bit more on topic! We talk about the ethics of a potential hookup and also how to deescalate a fight with a friend. Back to Reddit, we discuss introducing your SO to your f...

#37 Daddy feat. Daddy (Dylan)

It's a very special week this week on account of our dear friend Dylan is in the house. And he's here to help us save some friggin relationships. We start with four questions from the box except three of them are dirty fake questions. But the one involves a compliment to us and what could be better than that? So we talk keeping in touch with long distance friends. Troubles in the bedroom with too much stamina. Minecraft crushes and how to find them. Dealing with the ending of chaotic relationshi...

#36 We're Thankful For All Your Questions (And We Love You)

This is a very happy Thanksgiving because you're here with us and you sent us enough questions to fill almost a whole episode! And RFTB is here to bring you our answers! We talk vocal doppelgangers, Myers Briggs, love languages and if they're bullshit or legit. Borderline uncomfortable Tinder messages and being stuck in off-again on-again hell. Sexual performance anxiety and lack of sexual interest. How to keep in touch with siblings. And, yet again, we learn about a very strange kink. Buckle in...

#35 The One Where Donovan Dies feat. Mucinex

Oh man it's cold out, the days are shorter, and illness is running rampant among the RFTB team. Arthur may be out of hell but Donovan is in the seventh circle of congestion. Blech. We're out here saving relationships though, despite our troubles. We talk fetishes and where they may become a problem. Kpop obsessions and celebrity crushes and if that's gonna be a problem in your love life. Gay porn on your wife's phone even though she claims she doesn't approve of porn. Not liking your friend's SO...

#34 RFTB Rodeo feat. Caroline and Greg of Stasney Mav/Sleeptalkre/The Queen and King

This week we're lucky to have some special guests, Nashville musicians Greg and Caroline, the minds behind musical goodness also known as Stasney Mav, Sleeptalkre, and The Queen and King. We talk horrible relationship stories, SOs trapped in the bathroom for THREE HOURS, labelling your sexual orientation (or if you even should). We have a DOUBLE FRIENDZONE ROCK BLOCK featuring weird roommates who sniff you or stomp all over the goddamn place. Finally, we get into stories of that friend everyone ...

#33 The RFTB Halloween Spooktacular!

The moon is full and the werewolves are on the prowl. Bats zoom through the sky and accidentally turn into their human form in mid air and fall several hundred feet onto unsuspecting trick or treaters, terrifying them! And Arthur is haunted by the specter of heartbreak and is handling it questionably. But we're here for him, because it's the RFTB HALLOWEEN SPOOKTACULAR! We tackle hypothetical infidelity, the splitting of costs, penis envy, the realities of careers and relationships, being single...

#32 Folks!

What's the deal with tote bags? In this episode we crack open our aspirational stand-up notebooks and share some of our musings at the top of the show. If you can make it through that, there's relationship advice galore! We dabble a bit in pubsecent reunions, post-coitus avoidance and text deciphering. We hit up the question box for some fan engagement. We explore the topics of ghosting and cat phishing. It's good!

#31 Tough Love and the Cat Ham

We're livin the high life folks, except it's that LIGHT high life. We talk light beer, the magic of booze, and Donovan ripping ass while trying to show off at the gym. The beer is smooth and so is he. On the other hand sometimes you can't just rip one right in life's face. Sometimes there are loved ones' feelings involved, even if objectively their music or massive collages or personalities just aren't that great. Or maybe they're 80-something and nearing death's door and you might want to suck ...

#30 Dirty Thirty

What's good in Tote Land? This cool episode, that's what. Donovan sees it coming, then Arthur shares an awkward interaction with an old. Remember, if you're planning a trip, respect your trip buddy's feelings about strip clubs. Your flaps are fine. Don't let yourself get sucked into your partner's couch spiral. If you're the funny guy, lean into it. You can use the phrase "No srsly" though. Learn to DJ and throw parties at your place if your friends wanna go out all the time and you wanna stay i...

#29 This One's Gotta Lotta Tunes

Oh man, dear listener, this one has some good ones. And some segment theme songs by our very own DJ Rocketnerd. And some musical drops.But we promise nothing crazy loud like that Linkin Park episode. Also Dono with a special segment on spotting tinder bots. It's RFTB episode 29 rock and friggin roll! Nighttime cock sleeptalk, chewing on lips like they're bubble gum while you're making out? What? Your comically bourgeois family rejecting your mere commoner of a fiance. An anonymous question box q...

#28 Segue-O-Rama

How about we go from doing what you were just doing, to listening to the podcast while doing what you're doing. Did you feel that POKE in your chest? It's Radio Free Tote Bag! Arthur saw The Nun. It sucked. We answered some question box queries and y'know what? It was dope. Remember these things. Puke happens. If presented with the opportunity, enter the pillow fort. Maintain appropriate distance. GO TO THE DOCTOR IF YOU'RE GREGNANT. Don't offer your friends up to strangers for threesomes. Follo...

#27 Don't Eat Guinea Pigs

Oh boy Donovan broke out the boxed wine and you know what that means! Time to talk about munching guinea pigs and scorpion love. Clitoris-adjacent convo and partner communication. Your poor girlfriend's heinous parents eating butter packets and crumbs and hypothetically dining with Augusto Pinochet. Your partner's laugh? Come on don't hate on it! Demi Lovato's laugh? Heinous, hate it for sure. We end with a fake laughing game and end up laughing for real.

#26 THE HEAT

We're bringing THE HEAT on this one! Look, if he's high fiving you that much, he wants to shred you. You better just block her and move on if she comes out the blue after 3 months. Perform some ex-based reconaissance for your friends. WANT-WILL-WON'T! DO IT! But DO NOT talk shit about your gregnant wife while she's on bed-rest. Respect the fish tanks and address the issue. Official Radio Free Tote Bag "Is this cheating?" scale coming soon!

#25 Boogie Wallz feat. The Bellowing Pines

We're so happy to have Xavier and Brooke of The Bellowing Pines join us for this very special episode! Here, we discuss mucus walls, The Devil's Lettuce, egg donor self-harm cop call cheating, ex-coworker inpropriety, cross-cultural dating with arranged marriages and long-winded family memembers. If only to show them how dank-nice you are you gotta spill the beans. Dodge the whole scenario and hit the airhorns on this conversation. Don't be afraid to shoot your shot, even if her family might fin...

#24 Upsides

You gotta try to look on the upside. We open on a poetry reading, that's pretty good. Arthur's voice is beat af, but that gives him more gravitas, that's good too. Your homeboy bangs your crush? You're eskimo brothers now. Boyfriend asks if you're pregnant in a creepy way? He's family oriented! Condoms in the house after a business trip? He's cheating responsibly! UPSIDES EVERYWHERE. Classic masculinity is repressive, we all know this. If you open him up then don't be surprised when he's more op...

#23 AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

1/4 carat diamond tennis bracelets. Ryan Adams. A lonely old lady. These add up to the most intensley horrifying 45 seconds of Arthur's life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ6ixMe32qg ^ Link to the saccharine hellscape Put down your dang phone on date night, don't date a fighter jet, understand that your partner might have a thing for pink, satin panties, mute the porn, smash that mf smash-on-the-rebound button and just shoot your dang shot!