Radio Free Tote Bag

#82 Daddy's Little Pumpkin

#81 The Spooktober Power Hour

You already know what it is! It's our second RFTB Halloween and we NEED to match up to last year's heartbreak heinousness and so we did. It's ghastly, it's spooky, it's a Halloween power hour. For those who don't know, a power hour is doing a shot of beer every minute for an hour. This was actually going to be the premise of Dono's original podcast until he realized that would be terrible. But here's a one off special, we do it for you! We come in hot with a classic holiday emojipasta and then w...

#80 Your Stretchy Limbs Envelope Me In A Way That I Find Viscerally Disgusting

FOLKS holy shit fall is here, fully. And you know what that means, we're coming up on our Halloween special! I will put it up front, please send us all your Halloween-adjacent questions for next week's episode! We'll spook all over em. However, this time Arthur is single, so ladies please date him this week then dumb him next Wednesday so we can reenact last year's drunken heartbreak! Sorry Arthur, the 'tent was too good. Alright so what we got this week? QUESTIONS! Here ya go here's the list: -...

#79 Candiru Candy feat. Seasonal Affective Disorder

Heyyyyoooo it's fall folks! The leaves are falling, the days are getting shorter, and the mental illnesses are back in swing cause it's S.A.D. season, baby! Ya know what though we're in a good mood today and we're here to bring you up with us. By talking about relationships. And that Amazon fish that allegedly swims up your pee stream into your schwanz. But in candy form. Ah right, this is a show about relationships, here's what we've got: - You're a guy but you want to sub. Is that cool? Well y...

#78 Sex IS Weird feat. Katy Fishell aka @sex_is_weird

Howdy gang and welcome to anyone listening for the first time! After a bevy of technical issues we finally have Katy Fishell on the show, the artist behind @sex_is_weird on Instagram! Arthur's audio still has some issues because apparently we are totally cursed but here it is! We cover some questions from Katy's followers on how she ended up doing sex_is_weird, how she's able to be so vulnerable, if and how she knows Pete Holmes, why she hasn't included many POC characters in her comics, and we ...

#77 Richard D. James Episode

Howdy folks, welcome to Radio Free Tote Bag! It's getting darker earlier and Arthur and I are getting the big seasonal sads but we're bringing the energy to help YOU! Here's what's up: - Partner smiled literally the whole time during sex. We're picturing Aphex Twin and we're freaked out. - Taking your partner's virginity - how you can you make it go as smoothly and positively as possible? - GF shared your D pics with her friends without asking. Whack. - Gave your GF's finger a blowie joey and yo...

#76 The White Stuff feat. Maria Seneca

Enjoy this week’s episode featuring our friend Maria Seneca! We discuss trans issues, grandpa kisses and piss!

#75 The Butterfly Effect

If a Mormon touches a boob, can he be saved? Maybe we should just take it simple. How do you find out how old someone is if you're interested in dating them? A gentlesir could ask some open ended questions and potentially find out, as long as she doesn't just like assholes. Official RFTB Declaration "Don't date your cousin." "If I don't feel horrifyingly insecure every minute of every day, how do I know I'm in love?" Find out this week on Radio Free Tote Bag!

#74 NO

#73 Put It In H! feat. Dankmus

Howdy Tote Gang! We are fucking stoked this week to have Simpsons-remixer and music-makerer Dankmus as our guest, talking to us all the way from South Australia! We interview him about his music, The Simpsons, his most awkward date, and some quality Straya topics. Then he sticks around to answer your questions. Here's what we get into: - A couple questions about Dankmus and The Simpsons! - His GF hangs out with her exes a lot. Is this worth freaking out over? - Your friend seems to be "the other...

#72 We Go Off The Damn Rails

#71 If These Walls Could Talk (They'd Be Talkin' Bout Jeff) feat. Kat Yeary

Holy shit folks it's full tilt bizarro hellworld this week cause

#70 Max from Sweet Tooth DELIVERS A PIZZA BALL

Welcome to Tote Land where fancy lads drink fancy wines from fancy containers! Max Farber of the band Sweet Tooth joins us to answer some relationship questions and more importantly, share Canadian pizza jingles. Max speaks on his Russian girlfriend from some years back and some spookiness that went down with her. We move onto the relationship questions, beginning with a FriendzoneTM where an adult human man steals an incredible amount of garlic bread. A man catches his wife asking a "Facebook P...

#69 Tote Across the Pond feat. Anarcho Agony Aunts

Folks, this is one International-Ass Tote Bag-Ass! We have Marijam and Rowan from London-based, Youtube series Anarcho Agony Aunts, and we discuss bodily fluids and a whole bunch of questions. And it's episode 69 so you know it's gonna be a good one. Because it's the sex number, folks. Folks. Alright so question wise here's what you get: - Married dude goes to a strip club, after talking to his wife a about it first, but spends too much money is currently wigging tf out. What's the norm here? Do...

#68 Pretty Freaking Perfect in my Eyes

What's good, Toteland? In this episode, we explore the origins of ass eating in the western world and them cheeks just turn into two big Christmas hams like in a Daffy Duck cartoon. We answer an embarassing question from Reddit and condemn a man to hell. We scour the floor for tokens at Dave and Buster's. Our good-ol' question box takes us to the ~=FRIENDZONE=~ where we evaluate JEFF's performance. Hey quick question, can you hurry up and git gud? Can you tell your girlfriend to git gud? Is it i...

#67 Mice Figurines > Grandchildren?

It's Radio Free Tote Bag and boyyy it's a weird one. We come in hot with an /r/relationships post that went viral on Twitter about a women's in-laws and their bizarre obsession with mouse figurines. V spooky. Then we talk an age gap in a relationship where a guy's college age partner keeps going to frat parties, despite previous bad experiences, and so the guy is all panicked about it. Question box time! We talk about a casual, open relationship situation between two folks who live apart. One ho...

#66 RFTB: Origins feat. Rebecca Pettigrew of This Fruitless Endeavor

Becky Pettigrew is here, the question box is overflowing, and we get into Arthur's BACKSTORY. Questions? Yes. Here they are: - Are you the asshole for pushing back against your husband's dumb-as-fuck baby name ideas? No. - How do you deal with your partner's wealthy family when you're not so wealthy yourself? - Question to us: what cocktails represent our sex lives? - What do you do when your relationship is getting to that potential marriage point but you're not sure that's what you want? - How...

#65 Boner Hiding Apparatus (BHA)

#64 A Listener Claps Back, Jackson, And Mourning

Misophonia Warning: We open with me chewing very professionally. And then we get into some shit. Folks, it's Radio Free Tote Bag and here's what we talked about this week: - Wealthy dude seems to have stolen your girl's heart, what's up with that shit? - How do you let your partner know you need to sleep alone for a night without hurting their feelings? - You had an emotional breakdown and got upset at your friend's funeral. Should you apologize to the mom? (We think yes, but for different reaso...

#63 Bonnaflu and Beetus

Yeehaw, Buckaroos, we're back from our hiatus! Both of us aren't feeling great but hey we're out here trying and I'd like to think we're succeeding. Check it out: - You're an exotic dancer in a relationship, ya told your SO's parents and now his weird-ass dad is coming to your club and staring you? Call us, we'll crowbar him. - The third segment in the question box butt pee trilogy. - Your friend is having boyfriend trouble - her BF gets real upset when SHE gets upset and makes her feel bad abou...

#62 Meme Rock feat. Lake Markham of Pineapple Tours/Bald Internet Man/The Filthy Frank Show

A man of many talents with here today, it's Lake Markham! Former Bald Chocolate Man and Current Bald Internet Man (and musician), Lake's here to talk about his work AND answer your questions! Relationship-related or otherwise. Buckle in, let's do this. We talk about Lake's background, Japan, how he got into music, how he ended up on the fuckin Filthy Frank Show, and of course, his worst relationship story. Then it's question time and here's what we've got: - When's the right time to ask your par...

#61 Sixteen White Claws In The Twilight Zone

It's RFTB BB what's poppin? Well a pretty weird one off the bat and then some other weird ones. Let's get to it. - Internet friend turns out to be stalking you because you were kidnapped as a kid? This is a spooker. - You took your bf's virginity. Now what? Anxiety, apparently. - How do you date older women as a 21 year old guy? Big lol. Then the question box brings us a compliment. Oh yea. Also a question about butt pee. Oh no. Back to Reddit where... - GF is deleting pictures of you and her fr...

#60 Reproductive Rights and Scranathon feat. Charlotte Ulrich

Heyo folks we've got superfan and friend of the show Charlotte with us to answer questions and talk activism for reproductive rights! Given the recent legislation in Alabama, we encourage you to get involved. Links to the nonprofits we discuss are at the bottom of this description. How bout the questions though? Well... - Self conscious about boob size and your BF is making it worse even though his intentions are good. What do ya do? - Your GF had her male coworker come to the DMV with you. Shou...

#59 The Unending Forest

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#58 Spring Flings, Mug Wine, and the Boxer Backside Hole

Howdy folks it's Radio Free Tote Bag this is episode fifty friggin eight and we're feeling weird but we're feeling good. What do we have goin on? Well let's see... - Mysterious hole has appeared on the ass end of TWO pairs of your boyfriend's briefs. He's bein real weird about it. What gives? - You got a crush on a girl at work but you don't know how to shoot your shot. What do? Then we got a BIG ol Q box! - Meta question - what's up with the Question Box music? - Would you commit feelings to a ...

#57 Chapo Tote House

Well folks, we accidentally rant about enabling centrist bullshit. But we also talk about relationships. Because this is a show about relationships. Here's what we talk about: - Arthur got the wrong order and we're very hurt. We discuss bland ass food. - You found cigarettes that aren't your partner's brand. In his ashtray. He's also being weirdly specific about laundry. Surpicious? - Your BF is spending all his damn time doing kung fu or some shit and he won't let you come to his class? What's ...

#56 Packamintjuulpods

Good news folks, this week Picky aka Bicky aka Becky aka Rebecca and now aka Pinchy is BACK with Dono and he's stoked about it. You might even get to hear her make a run away noise! Arthur's got some tales from retail for us too and I feel personally attacked by it. So what have we got? - What do when your husband is doing weird sneaky penis enlargement? - Hobbies with SO? Rock climbing, next. - How to sync up your libido with your pardner and make sure everyone is satisfied? Can you even do thi...

#55 A Heartwarming Coming Out Story But Also Heartbreak And Dead Feelings

Welcome folks, here's what we've got for ya! From Reddit: - What's up with romantic feelings dying? It seems sudden sometimes what's the deal with that weird shit? - Butt joints. - Whoops you accidentally told your work friends about your kink and now they're memeing you to death what do? Then we've got two questions in the Q Box! - A sweet friend of the show telling us nice things. - How was Arthur's experience coming out as bi? (And I gotta note I think Arthur tells this story very well) And t...

#54 Natural Father

Bad news folks, Arthur bought THREE goddamn Natty Daddies. They are strong and bad. Just like Donovan B) Anyways Arthur's fighting these daddies WHILE we take on your questions. And the question box is very full this week so strap in. What do we have first? A woman who did some camming in the past. Should she tell her SO about it? And then how do you go about having personal time when you and your SO's schedules are very busy and your time together is limited? We're on it. Then it's QUESTION BOX...

#53 We Finally Talk About DDLG (And We Hate It)

Yeehaw buckaroos it's another Radio Free Tote Bag! Arthur started a new job at the sadness factory and they play shitty radio and he hates it. Donovan regales us with tales from his research assistant gig back in the days. Question time? Question time. IBS making your booty leak? Toss a tampon in there. But be sure to tell your gf or improve your disposal technique before she discovers your secret on her own and gets the wrong idea. A big question box this week! What about an ex you're trying to...