0:00:00 - Melody
Hi, I'm Melody and I'm Candi and you're listening to Quirks, Bumps, and Bruises. So on this episode of Quirks, bumps and Bruises, we're going to talk about something Candi and I love a lot, and that is church. We are both just church girls. We are still connected to our churches. We both serve in our churches.
I feel weird if I'm not at church even if I'm on vacation, if I'm not at my home church, it just feels weird. It seems like Sundays for me kind of set the tone for the rest of the week. But here's something that is a truth, and that is that church is hard. It is Church is hard for the person walking through the doors, afraid of judgment. You know so many will not step through the doors of a church because they are afraid of how they're going to be perceived. They don't have on the right clothes, they don't look the right way, they don't know the Christianese talk that they're supposed to know, and so it's just hard for them to ever step through that door. To begin with, it's hard for the pastor's family and I can attest to this, my son-in-law being a pastor and me being on a church staff for 36 years. You are always under the microscope. People look at what you do, what you say. Talk about you at Sunday lunch.
0:01:24 - Candi
You're held to a higher standard. You shouldn't be what you say. Talk about you at Sunday lunch. You're held to a higher standard. You shouldn't be, but you are.
0:01:28 - Melody
Well, and you know the Bible says that you will be If you are called to preach the word of God. You are held at a higher standard. But that doesn't mean that every single thing that you do, say, think, act on, needs to be under a microscope. Say think, act on, needs to be under a microscope, and especially like with pastor's children, that they have to be and behave a certain way or the pastor's wife has to be and behave a certain way. Let me tell you something.
My daughter has kind of squashed that completely. She broke the mold. She broke the mold on that. She's not wearing white gloves and a little hat and being. You know. She does the things that she feels comfortable doing and the things that she feels like she can do by having a small child at home, but she does not go and do the pressure of having to do every single thing. Many times in years past the pastor's wife had to, you know, sing in the choir, teach Sunday school, be on this committee, do this and that and the other thing she needs to do, what she feels God has called her to do, yes, and we need to be careful not to put our pastor's families under a microscope.
0:02:35 - Candi
You know, church is also hard for the prodigal son who has come home. He's broken, he's been battered by the world, so church is hard for him as well, right.
0:02:47 - Melody
He's coming home, but you know that he still, or she still, feels judged Like. Everybody sitting here knows my business. They know that I took a different path. For a while I've been prayed for yeah, I'm home, but do they really accept me? Right? And so we need to be careful about that. Church is hard for the girl who looks like she has it all together, but she really doesn't.
I'm raising my hand. Yeah, that's me. And church is hard for the couple who fought the entire ride to church. I'm also raising my hand. Yeah, let me tell you. I will tell you when the enemy works the hardest on young families Sunday mornings. Sunday mornings we have a couple at our church and I know them so well that I know when they have fault coming to church. Oh, that's hilarious, because one of them had to wait on another one, or the kids were doing something in the backseat or whatever. It's so funny because I know that they had a hard ride to church. So church is hard for those two. We're just giving you some things to think about when you go to church next Sunday and you're looking around at your congregation and you may have a tendency because I do too, Candi, you do too. We all have that tendency to be a little judgy at times. So things that we can think about.
0:04:06 - Candi
You know, church is hard for that single mom who is standing there surrounded by couples who are holding hands and, you know, looking like the perfect little families.
0:04:16 - Melody
So think about her as you're at church, I think about single moms, especially like on a Mother's Day church service, we try to really not focus so much in on the mom, it and just the moms, but those that can't have children, those that are not married and that kind of thing, and just realize they are standing there looking at these beautiful families and thinking I just want that to be me Right. You know, church is hard for the widow and the widower, with no invitation to lunch after church. Now that is something that we probably don't think about. No, but those that are sitting in your church body that may not have family that lives close by, when they leave church every day they are going home alone or stopping to get them something to eat and eating it at home alone.
I talked with someone recently who goes to a church that has two services and she stays for both and I said that is really nice of you, that's kind of you to support your pastor that way. And she said you know, my husband passed away and I'm lonely. And she said you know, the Lord just convicted me. What do you have better to do than to be here and support your pastor in your church?
0:05:29 - Candi
So she stays for both services.
0:05:31 - Melody
Yeah. So church is hard for the deacon that has a child that's gone astray. I've had that situation in a church environment before where not only a deacon but a pastor has had a child that has wandered off and they feel so guilty about that, because there's qualifications in God's Word about taking care of your family and being able to, you know, have your family intact and that kind of thing. And so think about that. Church is hard for the person singing all those worship songs that's just overwhelmed by the weight of those lyrics. So another thing to think about that sometimes just singing can bring on some different feelings and emotions.
0:06:21 - Candi
You know, I think also church is hard for the man who is maybe insecure in his role as a leader in his family and in the church.
0:06:24 - Melody
I think there are some men who know they need to step up, not only in their family as the spiritual head of the family, but even if they are a leader in the church body they may feel like that. They're just not qualified to do it and it makes them insecure as well. So those people need to be prayed for. It's hard for the wife who longs to be led by that kind of leader, that righteous man who will step up and be the spiritual leader. Church is hard for the nursery volunteer who wants a baby of their own to love and I don't know about your church Candi, if you have those that maybe cannot have a baby and they are willing to step in and keep the nursery. I just find that amazing.
0:07:08 - Candi
And just how heartbreaking each time that they're there volunteering at how they long to have that baby they love. Church is also hard for that single woman and that single man who are praying that God would bring them a spouse.
0:07:24 - Melody
I know and my daughter prayed for that that God would send someone to our church that could be that person for her. We didn't know it was going to be the preacher, but God did answer that prayer in a big and mighty way. But it's hard. They're there every day or every Sunday as a single person, wanting that just like anybody else would, to have a family and to be together in church. Church is hard for that teenage girl wearing a scarlet letter, so to speak, because she's so ashamed of her past mistakes. She needs love, she needs grace.
0:08:01 - Candi
You know, church is hard, also something we don't think about but it's hard for the sinners, which is all of us, absolutely.
0:08:09 - Melody
Have you ever sat through a church service where you could say I haven't sinned any? No, absolutely not. No, because you probably did it on the way in the car when you were mad at your spouse Right For what he did. So we are all sinners. We are all sinners. No one righteous. No, not one. But it is hard. If there's something going on in our lives that we haven't spent time repenting of, that's right. We know we should. We know we should. So church can just be hard in general for everybody for different reasons, and so we're going to talk more next week in our podcast of Quirks, bumps and Bruises about other ways that church can be hard, and then we're going to talk about, maybe, some ways that we can help take care of that as the church body.
0:08:57 - Announcer 1
Thanks for listening to the Quirks, Bumps and Bruises Podcast with Candi and Melody. If you enjoyed the show, please take a moment to subscribe, rate, and share the podcast. You can learn more at joyFM.org.
0:09:14 - Announcer 2
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