Are You Fabulous or Just Financially F*cked? | Queer Money Ep. 589

You've got the looks, the labels and the likes. But if your bank account's running on fumes, girl, we need to talk. Right on Queer Money, episode 589. Today we are putting your wallet under the spotlight and asking the question, are you truly living fabulously? Are you just faking it financially? We have a quiz so you can find out, so let's compare answers. We'll show you ours if you show us yours. Ooh, so intriguing. So let's be honest, gay culture is expensive.

I can't tell you how many times we've received in our DMs or in a comment somewhere. Why is it so expensive to be gay? Girl, we're making it that way, right? We'd love to live in this illusion of wealth, but not all of us have all the Benjamins, right? We're, we've got these curated feeds, the designer clothing, the exotic vacations. I even know some of you are taking pictures with celebrities on a regular basis, but you don't have two nickels to rub together.

So that's why we put this quiz together. So we're going to do a little fun but fierce quiz. We're going to share some truths, but we're also going

to give you some tools if you wind up being on the end of the spectrum where we're calling financially fucked. Yes. All right, so we've got this quiz for you. It is a rapid fire quiz. There are five questions. It's very easy. It's a yes or no answer, so you can count them all out on your hand whether you answer yes or no. So pick whichever one. You will actually pick the yeses. Right, so we have five questions. Here's your first question.

Do you own a designer item or multiple designer items, but you don't have $1,000 in your emergency savings fund? If you get, if you do answer yes to that one. Number two, have you ever said it's only money? Well, putting that brunch on your credit card, knowing you will not pay it off at the end of the month or right away. And how many times have we done that? Yes, we have done that more often than we can count. Yeah, we have some friends who owe us some brunches.

I think that's one of the things is we were those gays who would pay for the whole table from time to time and it added up and. It comes from a place of insecurity. Right. We want to be put on the heirs that we can afford this when we really can't. Yeah. All right, question Number three, are you more familiar with your favorite drag queen's tour dates than you are with your own credit score? Well, but not as a drag queen. Yes, but I don't know, these days she's kind of looking a little drag.

Oh, she. She looked good at the Met Gala. She actually did. She tamed herself down and has kind of let up, let off on the face surgeries, so. All right, number four, have you ever bought something just so you could post it on Instagram or TikTok? This is one I've not done. No. Unless you count, like, the tripod and all the stuff that we have to actually do our recording. Right. But it's business related. Yeah. I've never actually purchased an item, designer clothing or anything for the post.

But I will say that very often when we do something or we buy something, I think, oh, this will be great in a particular post. Yeah, that's true. Tangential. Yeah. All right, number five, are you unsure off the top of your head how much money you spent last month? And girl, I'm a trad wife, so I would have to say no to this question, but hopefully this guy knows. All right, so how did you score? If you answered yes to zero or one of these, then you are financially fierce and good job.

Keep it going and talk about it. Share with others how you're controlling your spending and living a fabulous life. Don't be shy to share that because we need to share the win so that others can be inspired. Exactly. If you scored or if you answered yes two or three times, well, honey, you might be financially flaccid and it's time to firm it up. We've got a pill for you coming at the end of this episode. And if you answered yes four or five times,

girl, you're financially. And it is possible to get you back on the track to a fabulous recovery. So let's break it down. So let's break down here. Why. Why do we find that it's so expensive to be gay? Why do so many of us put in the errors that we're fabulous, but we're, you know, struggling financially ultimately, I think for the most part, for most of us, it really comes down to survival. Trauma. Right? Many of us have had so much trauma over our lives. As David and I have shared before.

We've come from times and places when it wasn't okay to be gay. And so we finally reach adulthood, we have this sort of independence and we want to improve. We want to prove to all of the bullies, grow, that, hey, we were quite fabulous, or even that we survived all the bullshit you put us through. And then as adults, we're desperately trying to find a community of people. We don't want to be ostracized again. And we've.

So. We've heard that story so many times, not from just ourselves, but people we've interviewed over the years and people that we've coached. Also related is we don't have a whole lot of role models, unfortunately. Right. We had a whole generation of LGBTQ folks who died because of the HIV AIDS crisis. And those that did live, their healthcare was so expensive that the trauma that they had to experience was so costly that they don't.

There are so few that are actually living financially abundant because the situation just wasn't as easy for them. Yeah. And I'll add, I think that it for those who are successful, especially from that generation, they may have held it in.

They hold that back to a certain degree about how they are set financially successful, in part because they fear retribution from the community, parts of the community that aren't, or they feel bad for those who actually aren't successful because of their circumstances, especially if their circumstances are because of. Of being HIV positive or having aids. So I think that there's. There's role models are missing, but there's also probably a lot of silence as well. That's our sight.

Those that are hiding. Right. And then the third one is shame. And shame. And shame. Yeah. There's just so much shame around, as David just alluded to. Right. Those of us who are financially successful kind of trying to tone it down a little bit because you don't want to seem a little bit too ostentatious. But also those who are struggling financially don't want to talk about it. Right.

Because that's just another example in our lives where we're just not as amazing as we'd like to be or as people expect us to be. And that we totally get that. That's completely our story. Sometimes that retail therapy feels like self care. And then, of course, eventually it becomes that you're your $12 oatmeal latte. Right. So it becomes a little bit of. A $25 or one smoothie. Yeah. Right. So there's. There. There are multiple factors there, but we just need to normalize these conversations.

We need to celebrate the wins. We need to talk about the challenges that we have and what those of us who've overcome those challenges have done to be able to overcome those challenges. So, again, please share your answers to the quiz in the comments below, but of course, share

your story. Share more of the details of what's going on in your life, whether you need help or whether you can use your story to inspire others. Right, so let's talk about those money moves that can help you firm it up and get back to being financially fabulous. So there's. These are relatively simple, but you do have to take part in them. Right? So the first one here is to track every. Spend every penny you spend over the next seven days. The reality is you cannot fix what you don't face.

If you don't know what's broken, then you just continue down the same path. And so we want to encourage you to track all of your spending. Now, the easiest way to do that is to sign up for apps like Empower or Rocket. Money that actually connects to your bank accounts and your investment accounts and actually will track every single penny for you. Obviously, you can go in and make some adjustments so you can put them in your own categories. There is a link below for the Empower app.

If you sign up and you connect your accounts and you get 20 bucks and we get 20 bucks. So that's. That is very helpful for both of us. The other day, I set up the Empower app all by myself as I. Was sat next to him telling him what to do. The other thing is, if you don't want to do that, at least do it through the your notes app on your phone. Get honest with yourself about where your money is going. The second thing is figure out what your basic bitch budget is.

And your basic budget is basically this idea of what are my essentials? What do I need for rent? What do I need for food? What do I need to pay off my debt? What do I need for all of my bills? What amount of money do I need to set aside so I'm saving for a fabulous future? Understand what all of that is. And to be honest, those apps that we just mentioned, they can help you do that. They can help you understand what your basic budget is.

But once you understand what that basic budget is, make sure that you leave yourself about 5 to 10% of of your overall income so that you can spend it fabulously. Spend it fabulously, but spend it intentionally. Spend it on things that make you feel fabulous and more fabulous than just in the moment, like brunch or more fabulous than just the weekend. Look for things that actually extend that fabulousness out for a longer period of time.

And then, number three, start a flex fund, right every payday, whether it's 25 a hundred dollars, whatever you can afford. Try to commit to a certain dollar amount and do it regularly on a consistent basis, whatever that is, no matter how small it is, even if it's $5 into a fabulous future account, let that build up over time, try to forget it as much as you can, and then that's money you can use for your next vacation, put towards your next rent, rental or home deposit.

Have it as just even a little bit of cushion for those situations that the struggles that pop up in life, right, the broken toilet or the busted tire or whatever the case may be. We went for a walk today and actually a couple who lives across the street and up a couple of doors, we're standing out there watching their car get put onto a

tow truck because it wouldn't start this morning. It was a Monday. Yeah, exactly. So sad. So even just a little bit of cushion helps offset some of those unexpected expenses and makes you feel just a little bit better. So those are our top three to help get your finances a little more firm. Right? So ask yourself, can you be fabulous and financially free? Well, you can, but you cannot pretend to do both. So let's make your money match the glow up that you've got.

If you want a glow up roadmap, we're here to help you out. DM us the word Kickstarter on Instagram or scan the QR code somewhere, wherever David ends up putting it. We'll send you our free Queer Money Kickstarter to Kickstart your fabulous financial future. And if you love this episode, like, subscribe and share it with your fabulous friend who's secretly living paycheck to paycheck. And until next time, stay fabulous.