Sexual abuse is more prevalent than many of us realize. Statistics (even inside the church) are astronomical. So, what can we (the church) do about it? We talk to Dr. James and Laura Reeves about addressing sexual abuse in the church and their new video resource, The Fearless Series . We talk about who this series is for, how it helps, and what churches can do to help the women in our churches who've experienced sexual abuse. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) THE FEARLESS SERIES THE FEARLES...
Jun 22, 2021•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 207
Ben Bennett, director of Resolution Movement (a Josh McDowell Ministry), was stuck in sexual addiction, depression, and anxiety. His sexual addiction was about survival. But through his introduction to Pure Desire, Ben found freedom from addiction. And as the author of Living Free (a recovery resource for college-aged men), Ben is leading others toward thriving in the life God intended for them. Today, we talk through how he went from sexual addiction to thriving. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (Y...
Jun 15, 2021•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 206
Are sending intimate pictures of ourselves to our spouse ok? When do we start talking with our kids about sexuality? How do we help our kids if our spouse is addicted? These questions and more on today's Frequently Asked Questions episode. Submit your questions for future FAQ episodes: Email your question to: [email protected] Message/DM us with your questions RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedo...
Jun 08, 2021•47 min•Ep. 205
What if intercourse isn't sex? What if sex is so much more than a sexual act between two people? Author, Sheila Wray Gregoire, joins us today to talk about her new book, The Great Sex Rescue. We talk about what sex really is and how to rescue it from how our world and culture distort it. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) TO LOVE, HONOR, AND VACUUM (SHEILA’S BLOG) BARE MARRIAGE PODCAST (SHEILA’S PODCAST) THE GREAT SEX RESCUE (SHEILA’S NEWEST BOOK) GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understand...
Jun 01, 2021•56 min•Ep. 204
Are emotions bad? Point blank: No! So why do so many of us run away from them, avoid them, and disregard them? Today, we talk about the myth so many of us were taught: emotions are bad. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) FASTER SCALE (TOOL) INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS PODCAST EPISODE W/ JENNA RIEMERSMA ALTOGETHER YOU (JENNA RIEMERSMA’S BOOK) PURE DESIRE SUMMIT (EVENT) GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Mi...
May 25, 2021•58 min•Ep. 203
Asher and Ashley Sears had a typical back and forth marriage with sexual addiction and betrayal. But they don't live that way now! Why is this? Just by chance, Ashley was introduced to a recovery resource and encouraged Asher to pursue it. Neither knew this would kickstart new levels of healing and intimacy in their marriage. Today, we hear their beautiful story of healing. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) STORIES UNVEILED STORIES UNVEILED CONFERENCE STORIES UNVEILED INSTAGRAM GET STARTED ...
May 18, 2021•58 min•Ep. 202
For a marriage to truly heal from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, both spouses need healing. We refer to it as a “family systems issue.” But what if our struggling spouse doesn’t want to pursue healing? Should we continue on our own healing journey? Can we help them? Should we even try to? We talk about this very difficult and very common situation on today’s episode. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) FACING HEARTBREAK BY DR. STEFANIE CARNES (BOOK) ALTOGETHER YOU BY JENNA RIEMERSMA (B...
May 11, 2021•59 min•Ep. 201
We made it to 200 episodes! Honestly, it’s because you guys, our listeners! We would not continue recording these episodes if they weren’t helpful and encouraging on the journey to healing and freedom. To celebrate our 200th episode, we decided to mix it up. We’re looking at some of our favorites, some feedback, and what we have coming in the future. Please celebrate with us and tell us your favorite episode! Fill out this quick FORM and enter to win a free Pure Desire Podcast Mug! RESOURCES FUL...
May 04, 2021•46 min•Ep. 200
The recovery process oftentimes includes relapse. This is part of the journey of breaking free from sexual brokenness. But what if we have a group member who continues to relapse over and over again? How do we handle this? How do we encourage them? Do we kick them out of group? We answer all of these questions and more on today's episode! RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) CRASH SITE ANALYSIS (TOOL) RELAPSE PREVENTION PLAN (TOOL) RECOVERY ACTION PLAN FOR STRUGGLING SPOUSE (TOOL) FASTER SCALE...
Apr 27, 2021•51 min•Ep. 199
Trauma and woundedness enter our lives early. The ways in which a little kid is hurt tend to show up much later in life through unwanted behaviors and emotional numbness. We often don’t view our struggles this way. But that’s why we had Drew Boa (founder of Husband Material Academy) back on the show to discuss our inner child. We talk about how to offer healing to our inner child and what the process entails. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) HUSBAND MATERIAL HUSBAND MATERIAL ACADEMY HUSBAN...
Apr 20, 2021•48 min•Ep. 198
Both accountability and recovery groups are important! But they are different. And the difference is important. For example: traditional accountability groups put responsibility on the group itself; where recovery groups put the responsibility on the individual. We discuss this difference and four others on today’s episode. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) PURE DESIRE ONLINE GROUPS GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Sche...
Apr 13, 2021•42 min•Ep. 197
Because of the wounds, trauma, and struggles in life, we often run to easy things to medicate our pain. Pornography is a great soother but ultimately leads to the destruction of life and relationships. On today’s podcast, we sat down with the founder of Husband Material Academy , Drew Boa, and talked about how porn is used as a pacifier in our lives and what it looks like to soothe ourselves in healthy ways. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) HUSBAND MATERIAL HUSBAND MATERIAL ACADEMY HUSBAND...
Apr 06, 2021•58 min•Ep. 196
Clint and Charity Muñoz are thriving in marriage and ministry. But it hasn't always been that way. Sexual addiction reared its head in their marriage and brought destruction with it. But, through a trusted process and hard work, Clint and Charity are leading others into the same healing they've experienced. Today, we hear their story of healing. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) RESTORED 2 MORE RESTORED 2 MORE PODCAST RESTORED 2 MORE YOUTUBE CHANNEL GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Underst...
Mar 30, 2021•57 min•Ep. 195
A common tool on the recovery journey is the Relapse Prevention Tool (also known as the Three Circles). This tool helps with what the name suggests: relapse prevention. So, why would someone experiencing betrayal trauma use this tool? Today, we explore how this tool can help betrayed spouses. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) 3 CIRCLES TOOL FASTER SCALE TOOL BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT (BETRAYAL RESOURCE FOR WOMEN) HOPE FOR MEN (BETRAYAL RESOURCE FOR MEN) PURE DESIRE COUNSELING GET STARTED Fr...
Mar 23, 2021•41 min•Ep. 194
When sexual addiction enters our marriage, it often feels as if it came out of nowhere. Betrayal trauma hits us like a high-speed train, laying us flat. But do we need to stay flat on the ground? We don’t believe so. We can start to get back up with tools like the Recovery Action Plan. Today, we talk about how this tool helps create safety and puts a process in place to establish boundaries and consequences to bring about restoration in relationships. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) RECOV...
Mar 16, 2021•57 min•Ep. 193
How does a weekly commitment to change help us heal from betrayal trauma? It helps us face our double-binds (rock-and-hard-place). Today, we explore how a Commitment to Change and addressing our double-binds brings healing for betrayal trauma. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) COMMITMENT TO CHANGE (TOOL) BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT BETRAYAL & BEYOND ONLINE GROUPS GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-...
Mar 09, 2021•49 min•Ep. 192
Betrayal trauma is very real. But healing from it isn't always clear. Self-awareness is one of the biggest steps to beginning to heal from betrayal. This week, we talk about how betrayed spouses/individuals can use the FASTER Scale (awareness tool) to bring healing into their lives. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) FASTER SCALE (TOOL) BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT BETRAYAL & BEYOND ONLINE GROUPS ONE-SIDED HEALING (PODCAST) GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Fre...
Mar 02, 2021•57 min•Ep. 191
Joe McCarthy is a successful restaurant owner, leads Pure Desire groups, and is incredibly passionate about helping men break free of addiction and shame. But it wasn't always that way. Alcoholism and a pornography addiction plagued Joe for a large portion of his life. Starting in AA, Joe found that healing was possible. We talk to Joe about his powerful story of breaking free of sexual brokenness and how he is now leading others into the freedom they most desire. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (Y...
Feb 23, 2021•43 min•Ep. 190
Domestic abuse is not talked about enough. Abusive patterns can exist for years and even decades before we realize it’s actually abuse. These situations definitely play out in the realm of sexual addiction and brokenness. Today, we talk about how to identify domestic abuse, how to create a space to talk about it, and what we can do about it. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) BETRAYAL & BEYOND KIT BETRAYAL & BEYOND ONLINE GROUPS GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betraya...
Feb 16, 2021•48 min•Ep. 189
What does recovery look like if we are attracted to the same sex? Is it something we can heal from? Does it ever go away? What if our spouse is attracted to the same sex? We discuss these questions with John Fort, Director of Training for Be Broken Ministries, as he shares his story of same-sex attraction and addiction. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) HONEST TALK: A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON TALKING TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX (JOHN’S BOOK) BE BROKEN MINISTRIES GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Under...
Feb 09, 2021•53 min•Ep. 188
Healing brokenness requires facing brokenness. Paul Young is known as a #1 New York Times bestselling author, but people might not know that trauma and abuse entered Paul’s life at a very early age. Trauma then ran up against addiction, Christian paradigms, and fear of exposure. On today’s episode, Paul shares his story of brokenness and what it took to face the damage his brokenness caused. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) THE PASTOR: A CRISIS (PAUL’S NEW BOOK) GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 K...
Feb 02, 2021•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 187
Historically, the church struggles on how to best minister to the LGBT community. Our guest today, Janet Boynes, knows this first hand. After living as a lesbian for over a decade, God called Janet out of her lifestyle and into ministry. On today's episode, Janet helps us hear God's heart for our LGBT brothers and sisters and how churches can come alongside and love on them. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) CALLED OUT INTERNATIONAL (JANET’S MINISTRY) GOD & SEXUALITY: TRUTH & RELEVA...
Jan 26, 2021•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 186
For a marriage to truly heal from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, both spouses need healing. We refer to it as a "family systems issue." But what if our betrayed spouse doesn't want to pursue healing? Should we continue on our own journey? Can we help them? Should we even try to? We talk about this very difficult and very common situation on today's episode. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom...
Jan 19, 2021•53 min•Ep. 185
The rate of increasing exposure and addiction to pornography is growing rapidly in the lives of young women. Statistics say it's the fastest-growing rate among all demographics. That's a problem. What can we do? We can run Behind The Mask groups for young women. On today's episode, we discuss the content, group structure, leadership, and impact of running these groups for students/young adults in the church. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) BEHIND THE MASK (RESOURCE FOR YOUNG WOMEN WHO STR...
Jan 12, 2021•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 184
Intimacy in marriage doesn't just happen. It takes being intentional and working together to establish healthy intimacy in our relationships. That's why we created a resource to help: Connected. On today's episode, we talk through our Connected resource and how it helps couples build a bridge to the intimacy they've always wanted. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) CONNECTED: BUILDING A BRIDGE TO INTIMACY SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (STRUGGLING MEN) BETRAYAL & BEYOND (BETRAYED WOMEN) UNRAVE...
Jan 05, 2021•44 min•Ep. 183
The year 2020 was traumatic, painful, and stressful for so many. Loss, brokenness, and disruption were felt by all. Whether it was the Coronavirus, racial injustice, fires, presidential elections, or anything in between: 2020 was packed full of difficulty. But, were there any positives to 2020? Anything we learned? Any helpful perspectives we can carry into a new year? We talk about this and more on today’s podcast. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) PODCAST SURVEY FASTER SCALE COMMITMENT TO...
Dec 29, 2020•45 min•Ep. 182
The holidays can easily put us in those rock-and-a-hard-place situations. Our ability to manage and maneuver through these situations is tied directly to our health. On today's episode, we identify double binds that arise during the holidays, how they impact our sexual health, and the positive outcomes of handling them well. GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Des...
Dec 22, 2020•40 min•Ep. 181
The holidays can be stressful. There's no way around it. And stress is very connected to unwanted sexual behaviors. For that reason, managing stress during the holidays is essential to sexual health. On today's episode, we talk about stress during the holidays, how it shows up, and healthy ways to manage it. GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group ...
Dec 15, 2020•48 min•Ep. 180
The holidays, though often presented as a joyous time, actually can be a stressful time for relationships. For that reason, being present in our relationships is crucial to staying in health. Today, we talk about why relationships can be so difficult during this season, how to avoid isolation, and creative ways to invest in relationships during the holidays. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From ...
Dec 08, 2020•49 min•Ep. 179
The holidays, though often presented as a joyous time, actually can be an extremely emotional time for so many. For that reason, being present with our emotions is crucial in maintaining health. Today, we talk about what emotional awareness is, how to get more of it, who it impacts, and why it's important in our health and recovery. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) FASTER SCALE (SELF-AWARENESS TOOL) THOUGHTS/FEELINGS AWARENESS LOG GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Tr...
Dec 01, 2020•46 min•Ep. 178
