Many people misunderstand game to be a suite of gimmicky tactics or the Machiavellian manipulation of another. While these exist, this is not what game truly is. Game is the ability to effectively seduce, and play is the essence of game. Play is neither frivolous nor silly. It is the ability to create a separate reality that is only accessible to the initiated and in which the objects of play come to assume special significance. This is the heart and soul of seduction, and anyone who can do this...
Nov 04, 2024•11 min•Ep. 489
Though it may seem hard to believe, men's predominant romantic fantasy – at least when it comes to their sexual relationships with women – is partnership. Despite what they may say, most women don't want an equal partner – they want men who will significantly improve the quality of their lives. And it is very difficult – if not impossible – for a man to simultaneously be an equal partner and a better option. While partnership is possible, it's typically easier for most men to have that kind of r...
Nov 01, 2024•10 min•Ep. 488
Whether it lasts for an evening for a lifetime, all relationships progress through three distinct phases: attraction, negotiation, and maintenance. However, it's wrong to believe that these phases have distinct boundaries between them. In point of fact, a phase is never terminated once it has been initiated in the course of a relationship. This means that much of the third phase is devoted to maintaining attraction and managing frame. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460...
Oct 28, 2024•12 min•Ep. 487
One of the reasons by women disproportionately end relationships is that they don't have to work for the relationships they have. Whereas most women make men work for sex, most men do not make women work for commitment: they hand it to them on a silver platter lest they jeopardize the sexual opportunity. Like many things in life, it's easy come, easy go. If you want a woman to fight for her relationship, then you have to make her work for it. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amz...
Oct 25, 2024•10 min•Ep. 486
While it may be disappointing to accept, many problems are their best solutions. This means that the process of solving that problem will create more problems that are even more problematic than the problem the process initially intended to solve. Accepting this reality will not only help you remain patient and compassionate with others (and yourself), it will also make you more cautious about fiddling with things you may not know much about. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amz...
Oct 21, 2024•10 min•Ep. 485
Why is it the case that physical attractiveness and mental instability so often seem to go together in women? The answer is simple: no one tells beautiful women the truth. Since most men want to sleep with beautiful women, and the truth does not get men laid, men will consistently sacrifice the truth in the service of their sexual self-interest. As a result, these women often develop a model of reality that can be very misaligned with the way things really are. This is why beautiful women are nu...
Oct 18, 2024•11 min•Ep. 484
Why is it the case that success and selfishness so often seem to go together in men? The answer is simple: men don't really want to romance women. When they are unable to provide the lifestyle and provision for which women typically select, men adopt romantic consideration as a kind of virtuous necessity in the service of their goals. However, once they become successful, they believe that they should be able to dispense with the courtship drudgery they never wanted to do in the first place. Thi...
Oct 14, 2024•10 min•Ep. 483
This might be my most important concept for men to understand: the lens of attraction. More than anything else, it helps to explain why success with women isn't about doing the “right” things. The exact same woman can perceive the exact same behavior in two wildly disparate ways as a consequence of her attraction levels. Keep her attraction high and you will do no wrong; let it drop and you won't be able to do anything right. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audi...
Oct 11, 2024•9 min•Ep. 482
Men can do nothing wrong – they can be completely right – and they can still encounter conflict and difficulty with their women. This is because being right doesn't matter – or, at least, it doesn't matter nearly as much as many men would like to believe it does. By understanding the relationship between games and the meta-games in which they are embedded, men can learn be more effective in their dealings with women. Learn to pet the cat – or risk getting scratched. Buy my book, "The Value of Ot...
Oct 07, 2024•9 min•Ep. 481
Sexless marriage is a depressingly common phenomenon and not one that is well understood. My take is fairly unconventional, namely: refusing to have sex in an exclusive, monogamous relationship by unilateral decision is a form of cheating. This is because the “mono” in “monogamy” mean “one.” So cheating in monogamous relationships occurs when someone isn't having sex with one person – and fewer than one person is as much not one person as more than one person is. In this episode, I unpack some o...
Oct 04, 2024•10 min•Ep. 480
This is an episode for the ladies. Women: if you're single, and you don't want to be, you may want to consider going back to school. I don't mean graduate school. I mean investing time, energy, and money into learning what makes men tick. Time to earn a PhD in men. In the absence of real understanding, women's only recourse is to the cliches and banalities that will just get them more of the same. Knowledge is power. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: ht...
Sep 30, 2024•11 min•Ep. 479
My book, “The Value of Others,” begins and ends with a parable. Many have asked me about the significance of the parable in the epilogue, which relates an episode from the life of Jesus. In applying this parable to sexual relationships, we can understand the importance of using the coin of the realm. Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's. When men pay women in women's currency, and women pay men in men's currency, relationships are ordered and prosperous. I discuss further in this episode. Buy my ...
Sep 27, 2024•13 min•Ep. 478
Much of my work is devoted to reducing unnecessary suffering. However, not all suffering is unnecessary. So what is the appropriate response to the necessary and unavoidable suffering that we must all experience at some points in our lives? The answer comes through observing a horse in the rain – who does nothing to make his situation any worse than it already is. When we stop fighting our circumstances internally, we are more likely to recognize – and seize – opportunities to escape, if and whe...
Sep 23, 2024•10 min•Ep. 477
A client who believed that the juice isn't worth the squeeze once asked me what I personally get out of my relationships with women. This episode functionally summarizes my response, namely: a woman is the cherry on top. Strictly speaking, a cherry isn't necessary for a sundae – but it can help to perfect one. Making peace with the fact that modern women – like maraschino cherries – are luxury goods will help men withhold unreasonable expectations about what they can (and cannot) provide. Buy my...
Sep 20, 2024•11 min•Ep. 476
Dating as an unconventional person can be extremely demoralizing. Genuine connection is rare, and you may feel as though you need to repress your originality in order to achieve some measure of success. To secure relationships, conventional people should go where the masses congregate. However, unconventional people should get as far away from the crowds as possible. They will need to date off the beaten path. This can be scary (and counterintuitive) but it works. Buy my book, "The Value of Othe...
Sep 16, 2024•9 min•Ep. 475
Many people have not yet achieved the success they desire because they have not yet been willing to pay the costs of winning. One of these costs is surrendering the privilege of losing. This may sound counterintuitive at first blush -- "privilege" is good, "losing" is bad -- but it turns out that there are many benefits to losing that people are loath to forgo. I discuss a number of these privileges in this episode. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: htt...
Sep 13, 2024•10 min•Ep. 474
In a much requested episode, I approach the landscape of dating after 50. After accepting the fact that everyone in this demographic has been wounded in some way, we can consider the challenge (and opportunity) of dating in this phase of life, namely: needlessness. Most people in this demographic aren't looking for marriage or kids or lifestyle. They don't need much from a prospective partner: just a genuine emotional connection. And I discuss how this is both good news and bad news. Buy my book...
Sep 09, 2024•10 min•Ep. 473
If you want an in with a specific group or individual, you cannot wait for an invitation to arrive. You need to write your own invitation. And you do this by cultivating enough of what the individual or group in question values that you can no longer be ignored. This is also the secret to building new friendships as an adult man. I discuss what this might look like through my experience creating PsycHacks. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn....
Sep 06, 2024•10 min•Ep. 472
It's never a good idea to fight to keep people in your life, or (to put it another way) to stop people from leaving the relationship. This is not only because it rarely works, but because -- when it does work -- you end up with something that isn't worth fighting for: a high-conflict and unstable relationship. If someone tries to walk out of your life, let them. Don't chase them down. Anyone who walks out must decide to walk back in. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460u...
Sep 02, 2024•10 min•Ep. 471
One of the principal rules governing relationships of all kinds is that the core transaction at the heart of that particular relationship should never be explicitly discussed. And though this rule gives rise to a good deal of indirectness, foolishness, and deceit, it's probably not going anywhere anytime soon, as it protects the dignity of the individuals involved. In today's episode, I discuss how this rule plays out in professional relationships before moving on to sexual relationships. Buy my...
Aug 30, 2024•14 min•Ep. 470
The vast majority of dating advice isn't worth the paper it's printed on. This is because it tends to describe how we would like dating to be or how we believe dating should be. However, even the best only get it half right. The fact of the matter is that dating is subject to both economic and psychological forces, and emphasizing one without the other leaves people bewildered and hopeless. I discuss how this tends to play out in today's episode. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https:/...
Aug 26, 2024•11 min•Ep. 469
Sexual relationships between men and women tend to thrive when the man is, confidently and respectfully, leading the relationship. However, it can be difficult for modern women to follow for a variety of reasons. In this episode, I teach men how to lead their women using principles exhibited by successful military commanders. By leading from the front and deeply understanding those under their command, good leaders can significantly reduce the likelihood they they will not be obeyed. Buy my book...
Aug 23, 2024•11 min•Ep. 468
Love is one of the most abundant resources in the universe. So why do so many people struggle to find it? Simple: they don't understand what they're searching for, and they look for it in the wrong places. Most people don't want to love as much as they want the gratification of being loved -- which is why they look for love in other people. I discuss further in this episode. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://am...
Aug 19, 2024•10 min•Ep. 467
Modern dating can be a frustrating, disappointing, and crazy-making experience. In this episode, I share my trick for participating in the sexual marketplace without succumbing to rage or despair: high hopes and low expectations. The idea is to enter into the timeless present and surrender the realization of the smallest next possible step. This also increases your attractiveness by showing up as present and engaged. It takes some practice, but it's worth doing. Buy my book, "The Value of Others...
Aug 16, 2024•9 min•Ep. 466
Heartbreak is one of the most painful experiences a person can pass through -- but why might this be the case? After all, anything that actually transpired in the relationship is secure in the past and can't ever be taken from you. What makes a breakup painful is the death of a dream: the loss of a preferred future. This is why you always break your own heart, and why you must always put it back together again. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://...
Aug 12, 2024•11 min•Ep. 465
While making men angry might be a business online, it is dwarfed in size and scope by the business of making women feel right. By validating women's emotions and reflecting back to them what they already believe to be true, certain content creators are paid handsomely for helping women feel as though the sources of their relationship problems lie elsewhere. However, if a woman has yet to secure the relationship she would prefer, she must eventually consider the common denominator in all of her p...
Aug 09, 2024•10 min•Ep. 464
When I speak with men in their 30s, I often hear them speak of their concern about being "the old man at the club." They're aging out of their old haunts, and (consequently) believe that it must be time to settle down. However, this isn't necessarily the case. After all, it depends on the club to which they're referring. Is it the nightclub or the country club? In this episode, I discuss the importance on finding your scene as a man: as you age out of one, you typically age into another. Buy my ...
Aug 05, 2024•10 min•Ep. 463
The secret of a successful relationship is somewhat counterintuitive: want less from your partner. After relating an anecdote in which I learned this secret, I discuss the importance of getting any need that can be satisfied outside of a sexual relationship met elsewhere. This significantly lowers the burden you place on your partner, and increases the likelihood that the relationship will play to its strengths. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https:/...
Aug 02, 2024•12 min•Ep. 462
Most men have no interest in fighting with their partners. So why does it end up happening? In this video, I discuss how women can spring a trap inside the minds of men, and how men can inadvertently sow the seeds of discord in their relationships. Of course, I also provide strategies for disarming this process and cultivating harmony. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: https://amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: https://amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: ...
Jul 29, 2024•11 min•Ep. 461
"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" refers to men's observed hesitancy to provide additional resources or commitment to women who are already providing them with sex. However, this bon mot is no longer relevant in the contemporary sexual marketplace. This is because the statement assumes a marketplace in which milk is generally sold -- not one in which it is freely distributed. In this episode, I update this rhetorical question for the modern day. Pre-order my book: https://amz...
Jul 26, 2024•10 min•Ep. 460
