Awareness of some of the realities of female mating and dating behavior -- including hypergamy -- is at an all-time high. However, many men still entertain misconceptions about this information. In today's episode, I will address two of the most prevalent: the belief that hypergamy directly benefits women, and the belief that being high-value creates effortless sexual opportunity. These two misconceptions roughly accord with the two general male responses to hypergamy: despair and desire. Social...
Jun 14, 2023•12 min•Ep. 334
Learning to love yourself is extremely important, because where you go, there you are. If your self is cruel and self-loathing, you can exist in the midst of peace and pleasure without benefitting in the slightest. In today's episode, I will give you three simple steps to overcome self-hatred and move in the direction of self-love. They do not require expensive therapy sessions, and you can put them into practice today. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 L...
Jun 11, 2023•10 min•Ep. 335
I was very excited to be able to sit down with Chazz Ellis a few weeks ago. Chazz has remained one of my favorite content creators on YouTube, ever since I began following his work many years ago. His down-to-earth, no-nonsense approach to dating and relationships is both practical and enlightening. In this conversation, we discuss dating geoarbitrage, the importance of game, and the realities of the sexual marketplace. Ask Chazz Ellis: https://www.youtube.com/@askchazzellis Chazz Ellis Guys' Ch...
Jun 09, 2023•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 337
There is a contemporary crisis in masculinity. Whereas 100 years ago, everyone seemed to take it for granted what it meant to be a man, today the topic is rife with dissention and speculation. Unfortunately, much of the advice men hear today pertains to what I call "performative masculinity": a suite of behaviors that can be learned to communicate masculinity socially. While there is nothing wrong with this, such advice fails to cut to the heart of the matter. In today's episode, I discuss the t...
Jun 08, 2023•9 min•Ep. 332
Monkey branching is the phenomenon in which one person swings from one relationship to the next, with little to no time between the two. If both men and women can do this, why is the behavior so much more common in men than it is in men? Much like in business, the largest jumps in position and compensation generally occur when workers move between companies (rather than when they remain within the same company). And when preparing for such a move, it is advantageous for workers to remain in thei...
Jun 05, 2023•11 min•Ep. 331
It is a much-lamented fact that time seems to move faster as we age. However, what accounts for this phenomenon? In today's episode, I discuss my pet theory on the subject, namely: the perception of the rate of time is inversely correlated with the expenditure of cognitive resources. This means that time seems to move slower when we engage in bottom-up processing, and faster when we engage in top-down processing. Of course, the "movement" of time is an illusion, but that's the subject of another...
Jun 02, 2023•9 min•Ep. 330
The myth of the natural is just that: a myth. Success with women is not something some men are born with -- it is something that some men choose to cultivate. However, the process of developing this suite of skills is painful and expensive. What would sufficiently motivate a man to do so? The truth is that most players are nice guys who were hurt one too many times and decided to do something about it. I explain this process using one of my favorite films, "2046" by Wong Kar-Wai. Social Media Fa...
May 30, 2023•10 min•Ep. 329
If you've dated women, at some point in your life you've probably heard her say the phrase: "I don't want to waste my time." The idea here is that the woman is challenging the relationship on the basis that she is not getting enough of what she wants, when she wants it. Furthermore, men who do not provide value on women's timelines are considered "time-wasters," and become the target of a good deal of social vitriol. In this episode, I share a few of my hot takes on this phrase -- and the attitu...
May 27, 2023•9 min•Ep. 328
Success in any game does not depend on gratitude. This means that you cannot hope to secure a positive outcome on the basis of the good you've already done, or the value you've already provided. This will be a bitter pill for many to swallow. On the other hand, what does consistently associate with positive outcome is power: the ability to implement future rewards and punishments. If you can no longer benefit or harm another person, then you become irrelevant. Social Media Facebook: https://face...
May 24, 2023•9 min•Ep. 327
Men and women face unique challenges with respect to being able to love. In this episode, I will address each of these challenges in turn. The issue with women is that their love -- while pure -- tends to get mixed up with a bunch of other impurities. Consequently, women need to filter their transmission of love until it is unadulterated. On the other hand, the issue with men is that life demands that they become hard, and then -- having become hard -- to soften. As a result, men need to love li...
May 21, 2023•10 min•Ep. 326
Making men angry at women is a business -- and it's big business of social media platforms, like YouTube. For this reason, it's very important for the young men who are the primary demographic of these channels to take what they learn there with a grain of salt. In this episode, I dissect the interconnected system of creators, consumers, and platforms, explaining how they all more or less conspire to promote increasingly sensational content, which directly contributes to the polarization of soci...
May 18, 2023•9 min•Ep. 325
Many folks today lament the current state of affairs between men and women, especially with respect to mating and dating. It wasn't always like this, right? So how exactly did we end up here? In this episode, I present an answer to this question from an unlikely place: Ang Lee's "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". Interspersed throughout the dazzling visuals and top-notch fight scenes is a profound psychological allegory about the historical relationship between the masculine and the feminine. Thi...
May 15, 2023•18 min•Ep. 324
A fulfilling life is a supremely good thing. To attain it, a person must have vision -- imagination plus granularity -- and a person must have want -- the synthesis of will and desire. In this episode, I will discuss how to cultivate both of these capacities. I also stress the importance of planning for a continuous stream of average Tuesdays, as opposed to a sporadic discontinuity of peak experiences. Finally, I touch on the wisdom of prioritizing the process of becoming, over and above having ...
May 12, 2023•8 min•Ep. 323
The biggest risk a man can take is not taking a risk. If a man does not stand out, the world will pass him by. This is because, if a man is indistinguishable from his environment, then he is functionally wallpaper: field not focus. Once of the easiest ways a man can stand out is in his visual presentation, which he can think of as his branding. In this episode, I will walk you through several examples of male dating archetypes from an unlikely source (see below). "Dream Daddy": https://gamecriti...
May 09, 2023•10 min•Ep. 322
The most significant difference between masculine and feminine communication pertains to their respective goals. Whereas masculine communication is interested in the accurate transmission of information, feminine communication is devoted to the transmission of experience, in the sense of felt subjectivity. By means of analogy: masculine communication is like a language without vowels, and feminine communication is like a language without consonants. The most effective communication styles combin...
May 06, 2023•8 min•Ep. 321
This will be a bitter pill to swallow for many people, but love has nothing to do with relationships. Whereas relationships are the medium through which value is transacted -- and, therefore, require rules, definitions, and compromises in order to "do business" -- love is royally indifferent to all of these things and expects nothing in return. This is because relationships are about getting what you want, while love is a passage into a higher form of life through the gateway of the humiliated s...
May 03, 2023•12 min•Ep. 320
While evolutionary psychology can be incredibly useful in explaining much of modern mating and dating preferences, it fails, in my opinion, to adequately appreciate the influence of status on intersexual dynamics. The standards of attractiveness fluctuate (somewhat) from generation to generation and from culture to culture; however, what remains constant is the collective selection of some subset of partner traits considered to be "desirable." Attracting a partner with more of these traits -- ir...
Apr 30, 2023•10 min•Ep. 317
Most people on the planet are subject to a delusion so prevalent that it is functionally invisible. In so many words, the delusion is that one's judgments about reality inhere in reality, itself. It kinda works like this: people judge phenomena according to egocentric standards, project those judgments into reality, block awareness of that projection, and then mistake their projected judgments for empirical observations. This transforms the universe into a hall of mirrors, which is the narcissis...
Apr 27, 2023•10 min•Ep. 319
Much like attraction, the balance of power in a relationship is never exactly equal. Whether we like it or not, one person always has more power than an other in a given relationship. It would be irresponsible to claim that this power imbalance neatly follows gendered lines, as it intimately depends on the actual individuals involved. That said, in this episode, I give you three easy ways to make the determination as to who has more power in a relationship. Social Media Facebook: https://faceboo...
Apr 24, 2023•8 min•Ep. 318
This might sound odd coming from a therapist, but talking -- especially in the context of intimate relationships -- is overrated. While talking is the most effective strategy for dealing with some issues (e.g., logistics), it is woefully inadequate for solving most of the problems encountered in relationships. In fact, to the extent that talking changes behavior, this is often due to the punitive nature of talking, as opposed to the understanding that talking seems to provide. Furthermore, nearl...
Apr 21, 2023•9 min•Ep. 316
As is often the case, a fulfilling sexual relationship often is an issue of selection. The way to have one is to pick someone with a comparable libido, and who (ideally) has worked through his or her sexual baggage. However, even within these general recommendations, difficulties can develop. In this episode, I will discuss how to handle a woman who turns down a bid for sex. Just because her kitchen's closed doesn't mean that you have to go hungry. Social Media Facebook: https://facebook.com/pro...
Apr 18, 2023•8 min•Ep. 315
The idea of 50-50 relationships sounds appealing: it's the definition of equality, and it ensures that people get as much as the give. Unfortunately, these relationships don't really work in practice due to several economic realities of the dating market that people are often loathe to acknowledge. The crux of the situation is that, in a 50-50 relationship, the woman is giving the most she is willing to give while the man is giving the least he is willing to give. Though equal, this asymmetrical...
Apr 15, 2023•8 min•Ep. 314
I can appreciate the perspective of the agnostic and atheistic. Without empirical evidence of God, and without any direct experience of the divine, believing in God can really seem like a fairytale. In this episode, I aim to guide these folks to the point at which God may become apparent by discussing a seemingly unrelated question: how can you prove that you exist? As we'll see, the same proofs for and against the self can be made for and against God. Ultimately, we hit on the existence of God ...
Apr 12, 2023•14 min•Ep. 313
I strongly recommend that a man should clarify his intentions with respect to any given woman in his life before he interacts with her. This gives him coherence with respect to his words and actions, and makes it much more likely that he will get what he wants. A man who does not have a plan for his life will end up a part of someone else's plan. When it comes to women, this generally happens as a result of a phenomenon called "relationship creep." I explain more in this episode. Social Media Fa...
Apr 09, 2023•7 min•Ep. 312
Modern women seem to be on the horns of a two-pronged dilemma. On the one hand, they lament the diminishing pool of high-value men with whom they might satisfy their hypergamy. And on the other hand, they reject the distasteful possibility that they might partner with a lower-value man. "If I provide the money and the lifestyle and the responsibility and the competence," they might think, "then why bother with relationships at all? What do I get out of it?" When I hear this complaint, I can't he...
Apr 06, 2023•8 min•Ep. 311
This is a dishonest question that women often use against men who express too much interest or enthusiasm for the sexual dimension of their relationships. While I believe I can appreciate women's concerns in this regard, the fact of the matter is that sexual relationships are the only socially-acceptable place for men to get their sexual needs met. So bringing their interest and enthusiasm to these relationships is entirely appropriate. And what women seem to fail to appreciate is that almost ev...
Apr 03, 2023•11 min•Ep. 310
In this sponsored episode, I talk about the failure of a bill legislating the creation of a state commission on men's and boy's issues from receiving a hearing on the floor of the Washington state House of Representatives for the second year in a row -- despite being authored by two women and enjoying bipartisan support. I discuss why that might be the case, including: the common misconception that men and women's success is a zero sum game, and the usefulness of fomenting animosity between the ...
Mar 31, 2023•11 min•Ep. 307
Time to talk about the red pill. For the purposes of this discussion, I'm defining the red pill as a set of knowledge and know-how that facilitates the construction of a worldview pertaining to men's place in society and intersexual dynamics, in particular. In many respects, the red pill can be likened to a spiritual transformation, in that -- having undergone it -- the person is no longer who he once was. In light of this, I'm going to offer two teachings that -- while originally rooted in spir...
Mar 28, 2023•11 min•Ep. 309
After a lot of consideration, I've come to the conclusion that humans are more or less tragically superficial with respect to their desire and attraction. This can be overridden with rationality and effort, but the default programming seems to be shallow. Both men and women are superficial when it comes to mating and dating -- albeit in different ways -- and complaining about this reality won't change a thing. It's a better idea to accept this situation and learn to play the game successfully. S...
Mar 25, 2023•10 min•Ep. 308
Hardly a week goes by without me talking to a man about his jealousy with respect to his woman's sexual history. These men know that their reaction is "irrational" -- there is no current threat to the relationship, and the behavior in question usually occurred before they even knew the women -- but the feelings they experience are real and painful, nonetheless. In this episode, I explain why this phenomenon occurs, and where the threat actually lurks. Be sure to watch to the end. Social Media Fa...
Mar 22, 2023•9 min•Ep. 306
