Joli studied consensual non-monogamies as a research psychologist but it is also an important part of our personal relationship design. In this episode, we are talking about what it takes to go from assuming you *know the rules* to creating relationship agreements that are explicit and able to grow with you as your relationship changes. Consensual non-monogamy isn't the right fit for everyone, monogamy is beautiful and a great choice for lots of people. But, polyamory has been making a lot o...
Feb 07, 2021•32 min•Season 2Ep. 16
Joli studied consensual non-monogamies as a research psychologist but it is also an important part of our personal relationship design. We are talking about what intimacy means when you no longer have the rules of monogamy to guide you. How vulnerable is too vulnerable with someone outside your marriage? What does it feel like to know that my partner is happy without me sometimes? It's all complicated, but not as impossible as it might seem. Consensual non-monogamy isn't the right fit fo...
Jan 31, 2021•31 min•Season 2Ep. 15
To kick off season 2 we are responding to a request from a listener who asked "Why are you polyamorous?" Joli studied consensual non-monogamies as a research psychologist but it is also an important part of our personal relationship design. We are talking about what polyamory is, why it works for us, and how it feels to put your heart in someone's hand without the rules of monogamy. Consensual non-monogamy isn't the right fit for everyone, monogamy is beautiful and a great choi...
Jan 24, 2021•31 min•Season 2Ep. 14
In the wrap-up for season 1, Joli and Ken are sharing what it feels like to share their relationship ups and downs with the world. The biggest lessons are often scary to talk about, even years later. Admitting where we hurt each other or when we've been out of integrity with our values is vulnerable but getting real is key to continually deepening connection with each other and with the larger world. Season 2 is coming soon- if you have a topic or question, we invite you to share them, grab ...
Dec 29, 2020•26 min•Season 1Ep. 13
Episode 12 is about failure and what happens when we judge our relationship success only by how long it lasts. Endings and transitions can be extremely challenging, especially when we imagine that an ending feels like it defines us. In this episode, Joli and Ken talk about three things they do to get through the tough endings and big transitions with a little more grace and a ton more insight. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube...
Dec 24, 2020•32 min•Season 1Ep. 12
In episode 11 we are talking about money and how hard it can be to say what needs to be said when we share finances and responsibility for a household. Going from terrified and even dishonest money habits to open, honest, connected conversations about money isn't easy because so many of us have money complexes- hangups that leave us acting in wildly unhelpful ways. Making money talk-aboutable is key to making relationship teamwork a reality instead of a pipedream. Watch the video version of ...
Dec 22, 2020•30 min•Season 1Ep. 11
Working together, whether you are running a business together or just working from the same home office puts a bright spotlight on relationship weaknesses. In this episode, Joli and Ken are talking about how they manage communication styles so different they initially seemed completely incompatible. Finding creative ways to navigate these differences has taken patience, troubleshooting tolerance, and one stuffed sloth. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube...
Dec 18, 2020•32 min•Season 1Ep. 10
Even the word fighting can make people uncomfortable. But relationships are messy and people are complicated. In this episode, Ken and Joli talk about how they find ways to love each other better, build a stronger connection, and learn about each other while talking through the bumps and bruises that come with close connection. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube
Dec 15, 2020•32 min•Season 1Ep. 9
Sex is a spot that easily leads to misunderstandings, even for a couple who are on the same page in so many ways! In this episode, Ken and Joli talk about how one seemingly-simple question led to a total reimagining of what sex could be in their relationship. With a little courage and a sense of humor, talking about sex can bring you closer together even during stressful times. It's not about how much sex you are having (or not!) but how to get on the same page about what you could create to...
Dec 10, 2020•32 min•Season 1Ep. 8
Having two different communication styles is a recipe for misunderstandings and hurt feelings. We had to learn the super-hard way how to ask for what we need and how to set the stage for a successful conversation no matter how sticky the topic is. Ken and Joli are sharing some of their complicated first holiday story in this episode. Ken talks about how it felt to try to communicate with two partners who had very different wants and needs. Yeah, that's right, we had a complex relationship ri...
Dec 08, 2020•31 min•Season 1Ep. 7
When holiday stress feels overwhelming I've had the impulse to turn away from my partner and just hunker down in my overloaded psyche. Learning how to courageously lean into the feeling of want is a move that turns holiday stress into an opportunity to connect in our most tender spots. Identifying our wants is at the root of knowing our standpoint, our deeper self, which is a pre-requisite for sharing ourselves with our partner. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube...
Dec 03, 2020•28 min•Season 1Ep. 6
The holiday season is awesome... and practically tragic in its ability to leave us feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and disconnected. In this episode, we talk about how we managed to bring joy back to the forefront of our holiday celebrations by focusing on little moments of connection and getting really explicit on what we need from each other. A dynamic life means that peace & joy sometimes feel out of reach, but by learning how to see our strengths and weaknesses without shame we have the...
Dec 01, 2020•32 min•Season 1Ep. 5
What is it about love that keeps us assuming that we already know each other, even though we are changing and living in a changing world? Joli and Ken work on how can we keep our relationship pleasurable over the years despite grief, growth, and a changing world. Taking a step away from our assumptions about each other (even though we've known each other our whole lives!) means there are joyful surprises to uncover every day. This episode asks us to look again at those we know the best and d...
Nov 26, 2020•30 min•Season 1Ep. 4
Boundaries are an invitation to intimacy but the holidays can make it feel like your boundaries have no place in life. The gravity of tradition can get in the way of checking in with ourselves about what we truly need and want. In this episode, we share stories about how it felt to combine family traditions and how rocky it was trying to learn to communicate our needs to each other when we weren't even sure what those needs were! Learning how to set boundaries started for us with a freezing ...
Nov 24, 2020•29 min•Season 1Ep. 3
Owning our *stuff* around the holidays is hard. Joli and Ken are sharing stories about navigating big feelings, a busy family, and old family patterns that pop up at the least helpful times. Learning what works and what sets us off hasn't been simple but it has given us the chance to make stressful times a little smoother and a lot more pleasurable. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube For more Project Relationship head to www.JoliHamilton.com...
Nov 18, 2020•27 min•Season 1Ep. 2
In episode 1 we are sharing stories about how we've worked on wanting a more-than-okay relationship. Joli and Ken talk about how they combined holiday traditions and how hard it has been to make space for each other's wants. This episode turned into a live-troubleshooting session where we took stock of-and then action on- some things that haven't been working. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube Find more about Project Relationship at www.JoliHamilton.com Follow Joli o...
Nov 17, 2020•22 min•Season 1Ep. 1
