Playing With Fire

Welcome to Playing With Fire, the podcast for people who are ready to custom-build their love. We’re talking about non-monogamy–however you design it–as an individuation opportunity. Want to leave the default and make your life spectacularly you? You’re in the right place.

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Episodes

199 Why Verbal Agreements Suck (And Why We Still Use Them)

We make verbal agreements with others every day. This can look like something simple—“I’ll bring you a cup of tea”—or like bigger, more complex relationship commitments. But when these agreements live only in our (fallible!) memories, they become vulnerable to misinterpretation, forgetfulness, and even unconscious manipulation. Writing down every single agreement you make isn’t practical (or necessary), but understanding when to put pen to paper can be the difference between relationship harmony...

Apr 12, 2025•40 min•Season 11Ep. 199

198 Why does jealousy freak out the nervous system?

This episode explores why jealousy can trigger intense nervous system responses, particularly in non-monogamous relationships. It delves into attachment theory, primal panic, and the physiological experiences of jealousy. The hosts discuss practical techniques for managing jealousy, the importance of understanding personal triggers, and the value of creating rescue plans and seeking specific reassurance.

Apr 05, 2025•38 min•Season 11Ep. 198