Ever found yourself feeling attracted to someone else despite being in a committed monogamous relationship? Maybe someone cute you saw at the gym. Or a college. Or even your partner’s best friend?? Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one. Today we’re digging into real stories from our community about times they were attracted to someone else, and giving our best advice on how to handle attraction to other people while in a relationship. Links & Resources: Free Guide: 20 Great Compliments To Give Yo...
Sep 12, 2024•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 173
Have you wanted to bring a sex toy into the bedroom but been worried about your partner’s response? It can be a scary ask! Maybe you’re worried about hurting your partner’s feelings, maybe you don’t even own one yet. Well, we think sex toys can be an incredibly useful way to balance the orgasm gap and increase pleasure! So in this episode, we’re going to help you introduce sex toys into the bedroom (but without making it weird)! Links & Resources: Recommended Products Guide: Ultimate Foreplay Gu...
Sep 05, 2024•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 172
“When mommy and daddy lock the bedroom door…” We’ve all been there at some point in our childhood when someone sat us down and talked to us for the first time about sex. Odds are it was probably awkward, uncomfortable, and maybe left you with more questions than before. In this episode, we’re digging into all of your true stories about how “The Talk” was given to you, and we’re sharing our stories too. So if you’ve ever wondered how similar your first conversation about sex is to someone else, t...
Aug 29, 2024•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 167
We’re back with Part 2 of our “What Do Women Really Think About…?” series. We turned to our instagram community again and asked for a new batch of topics. We’re diving into women’s real thoughts about spitting vs swallowing, their partners watching porn, and some (pretty crazy) wild cards. Links & Resources: Ultimate Foreplay Guides Next Level Intercourse If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice...
Aug 22, 2024•1 hr•Ep. 170
Ever had a frustrating situation with a partner that left you wondering, “Is this your problem to fix? Or mine?” Whether it’s disagreeing on parenting choices or your partner having a fetish that you’re not into yourself, it’s completely normal to be confused about who needs to make a change. Today we’re bringing back “Is This Your Shit Or Mine?” for part 2. Get ready for some fascinating stories from other couples and our best advice for how to move forward! Links & Resources: Our Courses & Gui...
Aug 15, 2024•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 169
Long distance relationships are hard! About 14 million people are in long distance relationships in the US alone, and most of them report struggling to keep the spark alive. In this episode, we’re going to help you stay connected and keep it spicy with hacks, techniques, tips, and tricks. Links & Resources: Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life Dirty Talk 101 Ultimate Foreplay Guides Next Level Intercourse If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for you...
Aug 08, 2024•55 min•Ep. 168
Have you ever considered opening your relationship? Or just ever felt nosy about why other people open theirs? For today’s episode, we asked our Instagram audience to let us know if they were considering opening their relationship. We weigh in on what they should do and give them (and you!) our best advice. Links & Resources: Art Of Initiation If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious ...
Aug 01, 2024•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 167
Does a lack of privacy get in the way of your sex life? You’re not alone. 62% of our audience say they wish they had more privacy, and 92% of them say they’d be having more and better sex if they had more privacy. If you don’t have privacy, you may find it difficult to get in the mood, relax in the moment, make any noise, or even allow yourself to have sex in the first place. In this episode, you’ll get access to practical tips taken straight from one of our paid courses, Rediscovering Us! Links...
Jul 25, 2024•58 min•Ep. 166
Did you know that only 24% of people said they’re happy with the level of vulnerability in their relationship? We asked our community why they struggle to be vulnerable, and heard things like: -I didn’t grow up being vulnerable, so I don’t know how to do it -We’ve been together for so long without being vulnerable; it would feel weird to try to start now -What’s the point of vulnerability? Our hot take is that without vulnerability, you don’t have a real relationship. So in this episode, we’re b...
Jul 18, 2024•56 min•Ep. 165
Your partner wants you to flirt with them more! But the majority of us feel like we don’t know HOW to flirt. It feels awkward or cheesy... Or we don’t know what our partner will actually like. Get your notebooks out because today we’re going to teach you how to flirt with your partner! We’ll cover why flirting is so important in long-term relationships, how to get over your resistance to it, and dozens of specific examples of how to flirt. Pro-tip: this is a fantastic episode to listen to with y...
Jul 11, 2024•55 min•Ep. 164
Threesomes are one of the most common fantasies, but most of us feel completely clueless about how to actually make them happen! In today’s episode, we walk you through how to have your first one, and share some hot, hilarious, awkward, and horrible stories about other peoples’ threesomes. If you’ve ever wanted to have a threesome or just want to hear about others’ experiences, you’re in for a treat! Links & Resources: Courses & Guides If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your...
Jul 04, 2024•59 min•Ep. 163
Get ready for the highly anticipated third act to one of our most popular episodes yet - Is This Normal? You’ll get answers to questions like: Is it normal that my husband isn’t instantly turned on when he sees me naked? Is it normal to never have masturbated? Is it normal to get the ick from my husband whom I truly love? And so much more! Prepare to laugh, cringe, and nod your head in recognition as we address your questions head-on! Links & Resources: Next Level Intercourse If you enjoyed this...
Jun 27, 2024•59 min•Ep. 162
Today we’re getting ULTRA personal, and answering all your questions about our recent experience in couples therapy. Do we think therapy sometimes digs up stuff that wasn’t a problem? Do we ever hope our therapist takes our side? And of course, the big question that everyone wanted to know… WHY are we in couples therapy in the first place? (We got really vulnerable and emotional with this one…) We hope these topics (and our sometimes controversial answers) start some conversations that you never...
Jun 20, 2024•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 161
Are these four communication mistakes ruining your relationship? In today’s episode we’re revealing the Four Horsemen. Researcher John Gottman discovered that these specific communication pitfalls could predict divorce with over 90% accuracy! We’re breaking down what they are, how to know if you’re doing them, and what to do to have better communication going forward. Links & Resources: Our Courses & Guides Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Jun 13, 2024•58 min•Ep. 160
Xander’s back in the hot seat answering all your burning questions about male behavior! Why do guys mansplain? Why do they struggle to find things that are right in front of their faces? Why are men always initiating when we’re right in the middle of something like doing the dishes? Why can’t they ever be vulnerable? And what’s with the obsession over the volume of their cum?? Get ready for lots of laughter and some eye-opening insights. Links & Resources: Episode 120: “Why Do Guys Do This?” Xan...
Jun 06, 2024•58 min•Ep. 159
When the spark dies off in a relationship, it’s really easy to blame it on libido. But is libido actually the problem? In this episode, we reveal the truth about sex drive and ask a big question, “does libido even matter?” Links & Resources: Ultimate Foreplay Guides Next Level Intercourse Art of Initiation Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
May 30, 2024•50 min•Ep. 159
Welcome to our 2nd round of “Know Ya Boo” (bonus points if you get the Parks and Rec reference). Grab your partner, pull up a chair, pour your favorite cocktail or mocktail, and come on a double date with us! You guys gave us 50 questions, and our job was to guess each other’s answers. The results had us in stitches from start to finish. Make sure you listen all the way through to get the scoop on which one of us comes out on top. Afterwards, you can play your own version of Know Ya Boo with you...
May 23, 2024•58 min•Ep. 157
What do you do when it’s been a while… When you don’t remember the last time you had sex. When the idea of initiating feels even more awkward than usual. When you’re not sure if your partner is missing it the same way you are. In this episode, we’re breaking down why dry spells happen in the first place and telling you exactly how to get back on the horse. We’ll even answer the big question… do we NEED to have sex? Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. L...
May 16, 2024•42 min•Ep. 156
We’re back again with another edition of Am I The Asshole. This time around we’re talking about your trickiest in-law related situations. We’re covering stories about dietary preferences, back-handed compliments, dinner table mishaps, and so much more. If you’ve ever wondered if you’re the asshole when it comes to your in-laws, our unfiltered takes are here to help you decide. Links & Resources: Visit our Homepage If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date fu...
May 09, 2024•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 155
A few weeks ago we asked our community if they felt resentment in their relationship and only 29% said no! Resentment doesn’t feel good for either partner, and it can lead to things like more stress, less sex, and lots of other serious consequences in your relationship. We decided it was time to create an episode breaking down what resentment is, where it comes from, and how to overcome it in your relationship. Links & Resources: Guide: Mental Load Workbook (https://vmtherapy.thrivecart.com/ment...
May 02, 2024•52 min•Ep. 154
Imagine this… you’re crawling into bed at the end of the night, thinking, “Hmmm sex sounds nice.” We hate to break it to you, but you’re too late! You needed to have been planning for this much earlier in the day. You needed to be using our unique approach to foreplay. Most of us think of foreplay as the stuff we do for 30 seconds before we move on to intercourse, but it’s so much more than that. Today we’re telling you about the magic of all-day, non-sexual foreplay. Links & Resources: Course: ...
Apr 25, 2024•46 min•Ep. 153
You’ve had a fight over text message with your partner, right? Most of us have! Maybe you sent a text to your partner that was a little too snarky, or maybe you read too much into a message. Odds are your text fight did not end well… Today we’re breaking down a real text fight one of our followers sent in. It started off as a fight over facial hair, but like most fights do, evolved into something much deeper. We covered topics like body confidence, broken trust, and validation. We point out the ...
Apr 18, 2024•59 min•Ep. 152
If you’re a Pillow Talks listener, you’re probably on board with the idea of talking about sex openly. But what do you do if your partner is a lot more hesitant? In this episode, we’re going over why your partner might be feeling resistant, and how you can encourage them to open up. You’ll learn our secret to intimacy-building conversation, plus tons of creative (and even sneaky) ways to get your partner to talk about sex. Links & Resources: Book: Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Tran...
Apr 11, 2024•53 min•Ep. 151
We really went there… It’s time for another round of Smash or Pass! The series where we find the internet’s weirdest sex tips, try them out, and report back to you with all the details. We dug deep to find the craziest ideas for us to try, and what we found was well… interesting. We’re even taking you into our bedroom during one of the tips so you can hear our live reaction! The Countdown Method… using a glove… the Nose Dive method. Are any of these new tips Pillow Talks Approved? You’ll just ha...
Apr 04, 2024•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 150
“This, uh, isn’t working…” Most of us have experienced a partner having some performance issues in the bedroom, and feeling wildly confused about what to do. How do you react? What do you say? And let’s be honest, most of us women take these moments personally. We get into our heads thinking things like, “Am I not attractive enough? Am I bad at sex??” Today we’re breaking down for you why penis performance issues happen, and how men need you to respond in those extra-sensitive moments. Xander is...
Mar 28, 2024•45 min•Ep. 149
“I just don’t understand where you’re coming from.” Have you ever been in the heat of an argument with your partner, and felt totally unable see their perspective on the issue? We put up a question box on Instagram and asked people to tell us about a conflict where they’re experiencing that kind of genuine confusion. Now, we’re breaking down the trickiest situations to help you see your partner’s point of view in a brand new light. You’ll get a fascinating sneak peek into what other couples figh...
Mar 21, 2024•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 148
Have you ever wondered what everyone secretly fantasizes about? We anonymously polled our audience, and we’re spilling all the secrets today! We’re also doing a deep dive on all your fantasy questions. Where do they come from? What do they mean? Is there something wrong with you if you don’t have any? Links & Resources: Guide: Sexual Bucket List (https://shop.vmtherapy.com/sexual-bucket-list-29/) If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doab...
Mar 14, 2024•52 min•Ep. 147
75% of people say that nagging is an issue in their relationship. So we thought it was time we gave our take on this controversial topic. We’re talking about the differences between nagging, reminding, and micromanaging. When is it nagging versus your partner not carrying their share of the mental load? What do you do when you can’t trust your partner to get something done without nagging? We also got into a pretty vulnerable conversation about the role nagging has in our day-to-day relationship...
Mar 07, 2024•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 146
Have you ever wondered what your partner REALLY thinks about your performance in the bedroom? Well, it turns out there are a few things they secretly wish you’d stop doing… We turned to Instagram and asked people to anonymously share all of their bedroom pet peeves and red flags. The responses were fascinating. We’re breaking down the most common answers and giving you tips to start the conversation with your partner about what you actually want and like from each other during sex. Links & Resou...
Feb 29, 2024•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 145
Surprise! We’re in couples therapy. We sat down and recorded one of our most vulnerable episodes yet all about why we’re in therapy and how it’s going. We talked about what to look for in a potential therapist (and where to look) and gave some tips on how to ask your partner to go to therapy with you. We also got surprisingly deep about the resistance one of us had to going to therapy in the first place… Links & Resources: Visit our Homepage (https://vmtherapy.com/) If you enjoyed this episode, ...
Feb 22, 2024•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 144
