In this episode, we're talking about how to cut through the shame, awkwardness and embarrassment that we've been taught to have when talking about sex; specifically when it comes to talking to your kids. Links & Resources: Episode 8: Has Purity Culture Harmed Your Sex Life? How To Overcome Religious Shame YouTube — The Ultimate Guide to Talk to Your Kids About Sex If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationsh...
Oct 21, 2021•57 min•Ep. 22
Trying new sex positions is a really fun way to spice up your sex life, but it can feel super intimidating to even get started when you're already in a comfortable routine. In today's episode, we are addressing your concerns and helping you gain the confidence to dive right in and add to your repertoire! LInks & Resource: Pick up your copy of the Sex Position Playbook! If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relat...
Oct 14, 2021•44 min•Ep. 21
How do you know if or when to end a relationship? To see if we could help answer that question, we reached out to our Instagram community for story submissions and were overwhelmed with the number of responses from people wondering whether to continue or end their relationships. These submissions cover everything from not getting 'butterflies' anymore to feeling "emotionally starved". Today, we'll be sharing some of the stories we received, walking you through these nuanced and complex situation...
Oct 07, 2021•50 min•Ep. 20
Awkward, fun, nerve-wracking, and exciting: all words that our community used to describe first-time sex with a new partner. There can be a lot of high expectations and common misconceptions about first times, so today we're going to be helping you navigate the waters of getting it on with someone new. Even if you're in a long term relationship, there are tips on communicating with your partner about sex. And of course, we had to share the embarrassing details about our first time! Links & Resou...
Sep 30, 2021•59 min•Ep. 19
We all want to feel wanted. That's why we're talking about something that can totally change your relationship for the better, and it's something you've already done..."dating" your partner! We've heard from our community (and this is something we as a couple have gone through as well) that when you've been together for years, even decades, you can go through phases where you feel more like roommates than romantic partners. Maybe you have kids and you know you're on the same team, but romance ha...
Sep 23, 2021•53 min•Ep. 18
In order to enjoy sex, we have to receive. Whether it's time, attention, love, or energy, there are so many aspects of great sex are tied into receiving. Your ability to receive can affect many things, like your ability to be present in the moment, feel pleasure, be emotionally connected to a partner, and especially to orgasm! In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander talk about how you can get more comfortable with the idea of receiving in the bedroom. Links & Resources: Free Guide: 10 Ways to Fee...
Sep 16, 2021•48 min•Ep. 17
Feelings. Is there anything that makes you feel more uncomfortable? It's hard enough to process your own feelings, so when your partner does something that brings up big feelings for you, it's so easy to blame them for the way you feel. But the unfortunate reality is we can't actually blame other people for how we're feeling! In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander discuss why our feelings are our own responsibility, and give their best tips for navigating challenging emotions. Links & Resources:...
Sep 09, 2021•53 min•Ep. 16
Have you ever found yourself thinking, "Sex just feels so blah. I don't get what the fuss is all about"? This is one of the most common complaints we hear from women! So many women want to FEEL MORE in the bedroom, but they just don't know how. In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander unpack why the key to feeling more pleasure in the bedroom is to start with masturbation. Links & Resources: Free Guide: Best Way To Have Your First Orgasm Video: Masturbation In Relationships? - A SEX Therapist's Gu...
Sep 02, 2021•48 min•Ep. 15
Politics, religion and social issues are already such divisive topics, so what happens when you disagree about them in a relationship? Should differing beliefs be deal breakers? Are they enough to end a relationship over? In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander tackle these thorny questions! Links & Resources: Video: How To Make Up After A Fight Free Guide: Simply Daily Check-In For Couples Course: The Relationship Care Package! If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly ...
Aug 26, 2021•54 min•Ep. 14
Anytime you ask for something you want, it’s a vulnerable experience. You're putting yourself out there, and in the position to be turned down. Which is why initiating sex is one of the most vulnerable things we do in our relationships. In today's episode we are talking all about how to deal with sexual rejection, so you and your partner can feel way more confident initiating with one another. Links & Resources: The Art Of Initiation If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your w...
Aug 19, 2021•55 min•Ep. 13
Body confidence is something that affects everyone, whether it's an occasional thing or a daily struggle. Usually we think of it as a personal issue - feeling self conscious, or having critical and judgmental thoughts towards ourselves. But there's another aspect to body confidence that actually has a huge impact on how we show up in our sex lives and relationships: our ability to let our partner love our body. In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander discuss how to let your partner love your body...
Aug 12, 2021•50 min•Ep. 12
When you hear the words “Sex Therapist”, you probably think of someone who knows exactly what they want and how to get it in the bedroom, right? So what happens when an aspiring sex therapist is struggling with her orgasm? In this interview-style podcast, Vanessa tells her own personal orgasm journey, and how it inspired her to start a business teaching thousands of women how to orgasm. For full show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode11 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.co...
Aug 05, 2021•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 11
Good communication is really hard. We'll be the first to admit that in the heat of the moment it can be really tough to validate your partner's experience, use clear and empathic language, and also ask for your needs to be met. We make a living teaching couples how to have good communication and we STILL struggle with this. So in this episode, we're roleplaying some of our listener-submitted arguments, and breaking down their communication breakdowns. Links & Resources: Video: 5 Communication Ti...
Jul 29, 2021•47 min•Ep. 10
Everyone wants to know what the magic amount of sex is to keep their relationship healthy. So many of us think that if we hit a certain quota, it means out relationship is successful. So we decided to do a little experiment to see what the sex lives of our followers really look like. We created a sexual frequency and satisfaction survey, and we've now had 12,000 people respond! If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practi...
Jul 22, 2021•53 min•Ep. 9
Did you grow up in Purity Culture? Purity Culture teaches that it's important to wait until marriage to have sex, because people who wait are more pure, wholesome, and desirable. It also has a lot to say about dressing modestly (especially for girls), pleasure being sinful, & masturbation being evil. In this week's episode, we're breaking down the effects Purity Culture can have on your sex life- and what you can do to counteract it. Links & Resources: Video: Religion And SEX - Navigating Sex, S...
Jul 15, 2021•1 hr•Ep. 8
When was the last time you had a truly amazing kiss? The sad reality is that most couples just don't really kiss anymore! A lot of us, if we're really honest with ourselves, feel a little insecure about our kissing technique. And if we're even more brutally honest, a lot of us don't really like the way our partner kisses. There's a lot of sex advice out there about oral sex technique and sex positions, but you rarely hear discussions of kissing technique. In this episode we're back to basics and...
Jul 08, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 7
Do you think that relationships should be effortless? Or that having to work on your relationship means there's something wrong? Or does your partner think these things? A lot of people think that they should only need to put effort into their relationship to solve serious problems. Or they wait until things are bad to start putting in effort. But your relationship CAN NOT survive without effort. In this episode, we reframe work in a completely different - and much more helpful, effective, and f...
Jul 01, 2021•56 min•Ep. 6
What’s keeping you from letting go in the bedroom? People we polled said that body image, kids, and to-do lists all contributed to having a difficult time staying present during sex. People tend to feel that “letting go” is the main thing that could make sex better and more pleasurable. But for many of us, just letting go is a lot harder than it sounds! In this episode, we talk about what “letting go” during sex could look like, and whether that’s actually something we should be striving for in ...
Jun 24, 2021•51 min•Ep. 5
Do you secretly keep score of who does what in your relationship? Do you feel like your partner gets to be carefree and happy while you’re stressed out trying to hold it all together? In today's episode, we talk about one of the most popular topics we’ve ever talked about: mental load. If you’ve never heard the term before, mental load refers to the invisible mental burden of keeping track of household and family needs. Seriously, people go bananas whenever we talk about mental load, so this is ...
Jun 17, 2021•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 4
Should sex happen naturally? This is one of the most common questions we get asked, and it can cause some serious tension in relationships. You may want to work on improving your sex life or making changes, but your partner refuses because they think it should just happen naturally. In this episode, we're going to uncover the truth about how sex really works in a long-term relationship. We think you’re going to be pretty surprised... Get full show notes and resources mentioned in this episode he...
Jun 10, 2021•43 min•Ep. 3
Has this phrase ever been uttered in your home: “We’ve talked about this a million times before”? So many of the arguments we get into with our partners are different versions of the same argument we've already had. And it can feel exhausting and demoralizing to keep having the same conflict over and over. In today’s episode, we’re introducing you to the concept of unresolvable conflict. According to research, 69% of conflicts in long-term relationships are unresolvable. What does that even mean...
Jun 10, 2021•54 min•Ep. 2
How comfortable are you talking about sex with your partner? If you’re like most people, your face is already bright red! You need to be able to talk about sex if you want to have an extraordinary sex life. So to kick off the Pillow Talks podcast, we’ve got your back with a step-by-step process for talking about sex in your relationship - even if you never have before. In this episode, we’ll walk you through five steps you need to take to get comfortable talking about sex. We’ll share funny stor...
Jun 10, 2021•39 min•Ep. 1
Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what re...
May 25, 2021•4 min
