Why You Should Not Give Up on Your Dreams - Episode #66

So I got notes today because I really want to make sure that I hit on some personal topics , some things that I've seen in my own life and others that I've worked with over the years , and , of course , give you all some ways that you can stay focused and stay on track .

Now we're talking about this because I know at some point all of us we get discouraged , we start to feel down on ourselves . We're thinking , man , I'm not where I want to be . You could be looking at other people where they're at . You're doing your own personal self-assessment and feeling like why am I not further along ? What's wrong with me ?

Why are things not clicking for me ? I feel stuck , I feel hopeless , I feel helpless and I'm not sure where do I go from here . Now , you may be able to relate to this personally , or you know somebody in your life that can relate to that narrative and they've been telling themselves that same story over and over and over again .

So I want to give you some one hope , but also tangible things that you can do . If you've been feeling this way , now you may think , ok , jason , well , I've been feeling this way . How is this impacting me ?

Well , one , your mental health is likely impacted by you thinking about giving up on your dreams or feeling like you're not in your purpose , and anytime we start to feel more stressed out , more overwhelmed , underappreciated , our self-worth is going down .

All of those things are , for sure , impacting your mental health , and this is whether you've been able to notice it or not . So I want to share .

I said I want to get into a personal story about this , because I think stories help like drive the point home , at least for me , and I'm going to say , when I know somebody else personally who's overcome something , I'm thinking like this they bleed , like I bleed .

We may have different stories or backgrounds , but that inspires me , as opposed to me feeling like , well , I can't , because they did so . This first story is , I think , about my great grandmother , where my great uncle , so , like my grandma's brother and his mom , they both graduated high school at the same time .

So basically , this would be like you graduating high school at the same time as your mom and dad . Now you got to think there's a lot of emotions or feelings that could go on about that , because you may feel like , well dang , how am I like what happened either with my situation or really with my parents situation , where they did not graduate .

So now we're walking across the stage at the same time and we may see this more in college , but I'm talking about high school degree and it still resonates with me now because I'm not sure how old my great was . If she was , well , she was probably . If he was 18 , she probably was around . Let's just say 50 . Let's say 50 .

So now you're getting your degree and your mom is getting it at the same time . And that inspires me because it lets me know that whatever my great grandmother was thinking , feeling , lets me know that whatever my great grandmother was thinking , feeling , she put all that to the side and said , hey , this is what I want to do for myself , for my legacy .

And she went on . She was already doing great things , but that just cemented that I'm not going to let my age stop me from being who I want to be or accomplishing the things that I want to accomplish Now , fast forward . So I said that was my grandmother's story . Then my grandmother she did .

She graduated high school early I believe she was about 15 , went on to college , could not finish because of financial reasons , ended up going back after working for 20 plus years and she graduated with her bachelor's in social work . She was around 55 , somewhere along there , so she was definitely in her 50s . Now you got to think why am I sharing this ?

Because these strong women in my life I did have a chance to meet my great grandmother , and my grandmother had a very big hand in raising me . These women didn't give up . So even though they were faced with obstacles they were faced with raising families , going to work , all of these things they still didn't let that stop them from giving up on their dreams .

Now , being in school , y'all know people like to talk a lot of mess . I'm sure this did not start with us so meaning generations before us people were still saying things . So I'm sure when my great grandmother decided to go back and earn her degree or GED , I'm sure people were saying things .

When my grandmother went back to college at 50 something years old , I'm sure people were saying things . So for you , you're thinking about what you want to do , and there's going to be people who may be close to you . They're going to be saying things , but don't let that stop you from doing what you want to do and walking in your purpose .

Now I say on a professional level , I'll never forget I was a couple of years out of grad school , so one of my first jobs as a therapist I was working at two different agencies at the time and both agencies there were . I had black women who were in their 70s maybe older , but definitely 70s who were going back to finish their their degree .

So I told you , like this is like when you think about giving up , you may be feeling like well , jason , I'm just I don't know how to do it . I don't know where to start . I feel inundated with responsibilities .

I understand that , but that does not let you stop , or you don't let that stop you from becoming the person that you want to be and having the things that you want . So I said I was going to give you some things , some very concrete things to focus on , so that you don't give up on yourself .

The first thing I want you to remember is that if it's meant for you to have it , go get it flat out , so meaning , if it's meant for you to have that thriving , stellar bomb career , go get it .

If it's meant for you to have the relationship that you want , even though you feel like you've been discarded , even though you've been cheated on , even though you're not sure what your ideal mate looks like right now , you know there's something better for you . So go get it . Get the clarity that you need Journal , write it out , so make whatever that you want .

To be very specific , you want to be focused on it . But if it's meant for you to have it , you got to go get it , and that means that you have to be uncomfortable . So doing things the same thing every single day is probably not going to push the needle and get you to again the next job , the next raise , the family that you want living where you want .

You're going to have to be uncomfortable and get out of your comfort zone . Is stress and burnout taking a toll on your company's productivity and morale ? Are you looking for ways to improve your employees' mental health and wellness ? If so , it's time to invest in mental health support for your workplace .

As a mental health expert and speaker , I provide solutions for creating a happier , healthier and more productive workplace . This includes a range of services to help your employees cope with stress , anxiety and other mental health challenges .

I facilitate workshops and presentations designed specifically to help your employees develop resiliency , manage stress and reduce burnout . So , while wait , make mental health and wellness a priority in your workplace today and contact us so we can support you all . All right , let's get back to the episode .

The second thing I want you to ask yourself are you truly applying yourself or are you telling yourself I'm working hard , I'm working as hard as I can , but you know , for real , for real , if you're working hard , like y'all know , one of my favorite movies is friday , and if y'all haven't watched friday , well , that's a different .

I know you , you should have watched friday . Y'all know big Worm told Smokey . He said you're not applying yourself , smokey . Well , he was supposed to sell that butt , meaning what all Smokey was doing was sitting at the house looking at people come up and down the street , talking to Felicia kicking it with Craig , talking about how Craig got fired .

He was not applying himself to do what he needed to do . Now , I don't know , maybe that's a bad scenario because of what Smokey was doing , but you get the point .

You got to be straight up with yourself . Are you truly applying yourself ? Or are you giving yourself lip service , just saying , oh yeah , I'm working hard or I'm doing this , I'm out here , but you know you're not out here .

So now , when you start to look at the results that you don't have because of the work that you didn't put in , the depression is setting in and you're like , oh my gosh , I don't really feel like doing nothing , I don't want to go out , I don't want to be around anybody , I don't have an appetite , I'm not sleeping , I'm overthinking , I'm super stressed .

That's because are you applying yourself ? Because if you're not applying yourself , then I wouldn't be surprised that your mental health and wellness is not in a great place . So you got to be honest with yourself and ask yourself am I really applying myself ? The next thing that I don't want you to do is compare yourself .

Be mindful of looking at other people and their situation , because we're good for oh man , well , we'll look around and we'll say , well , so-and-so is doing this , and I know , you know , I just wish I could be like them , or why did they make it seem look so easy ? You don't know what that person is going through .

More often than not you looking at somebody thinking that they have it easy and feeling like , well , they make it look like it's just a walking apart . Just because somebody is making it look easy does not mean that they're not stressed out too .

So you have to be mindful of yourself and how much you're looking at somebody else and their attributes and what they've accomplished and feeling like you're comparing apples to apples , because in reality you have no idea what trauma they've been through . You have no idea how many hours of therapy they've been through .

You know , have no idea if they're not sleeping , if they have sleepless nights . So be very careful of looking at somebody else thinking , well , I can't do it because I'm not them , you won't be them . Embrace being your own person , your own unique self , and all of the challenges and positive things that come with you being you .

When you start to really embrace who you are , you're able to look forward . And when I say look forward , I don't mean just like how I'm looking right now looking forward , but I mean you can look forward into the future when you're driving . Nobody drives like this , like you don't drive your car , like oh you know , going backwards or looking to the side .

The reason you don't do that is because you would crash , and the same thing is going to happen in your life . If you continuously go through life looking backwards or looking to the side , when are you going to focus on what's in front of you ? So you have to have number one .

I guess this is where you can start taking notes , if you , if you haven't Number one . You need mental clarity , because when you think about giving up on yourself , more often than not you're thinking about giving up because you don't know where to start . You're not sure where do I go ? What's next ? Be very specific on what is for you . What's next ?

Be very specific on what is for you , like not what's for your neighbor or your sibling or your partner , your coworkers , what is for you . And once you get that mental clarity , oh my gosh , you're going to feel like so much lighter .

It's almost like you know when you'all do spring cleaning and I know when I spring clean I feel good , just purging stuff , getting rid of stuff . That's what you got to do with your thoughts and emotions , the ones that don't serve you well , the things that you've been hanging on to for years , and it's like every year .

You set the tradition or the resolution , but those same thoughts , feelings , emotions they keep coming back . We got to purge those . So that's the first thing . You need mental clarity . The second thing is you need benchmarks for your progress . Why do you need benchmarks ? Because without the benchmarks we can become discouraged super easily .

We'll feel like , well , I'm working , but I don't see the progress . I don't , I don't know if it's really working . So the benchmarks help you , because now you have these little I don't want a little goals , but they like placeholders . So you know you're getting closer and closer to the bigger goal . They're like placeholders .

So you know you're getting closer and closer to the bigger goal . But without the benchmarks you're going to feel stuck . The overthinking sets in . So now you have a lot of thoughts . You're feeling like , oh my gosh , I don't .

I'm just ready to just burst because you have so much energy inside but nowhere for it to really come out in a healthy way , for it to really come out in a healthy way . And then the last thing that I want you to do is take an audit of who's in your circle . Who are you sharing these things with ?

Because if you're sharing what your aspirations are with people and they're telling you maybe , oh , man , it's too late for you . Like , oh , for real , you going back to school , oh , it's too late , like . I don't know if I shared this , I think I did .

So I'm in school right now , working on my doctorate , and I would say ninety , nine percent , like I can't think of anybody who's been negative about it . So , having that overwhelming amount of positive feedback , it helps me keep going when I don't feel like it .

So , having that overwhelming amount of positive feedback , it helps me keep going when I don't feel like it . Like when I get off of here right now I'm going to study I don't feel like it . You know , I don't , I definitely don't .

But when you have a circle that pushes you and holds you accountable , encourages you and makes it so much easier , encourages you and makes it so much easier . So I wanted to share this because one , you probably have felt like giving up before and you're not sure where to start . So again , one , get super clear on what you need , get focused .

Number two have benchmarks for yourself so that when you do feel like you're not moving , you can look and see oh , I am making some real progress . And then , third , make sure that everybody around you is on board with what you're doing , or you don't share what you're doing with those people . So that's another whole , nother episode .

All right , y'all , we got to wrap it up , but I want you to know that you have to be encouraged and do not give up on yourself . Again , if it's meant for you , go ahead and get it . All right , that is another episode of the Peace and Prosperity podcast .

Make sure you subscribe , like , share and send this to somebody , because there's somebody else who needs to hear this message . But they just haven't told you what they're going through . All right , y'all . As always , be blessed Peace . Thank you all for listening to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast .

Again , if you are feeling like , hey , I'm experiencing high functioning anxiety , again , if you are feeling like , hey , I'm experiencing high functioning anxiety , don't beat yourself up about it . It is OK .

We all experience anxiety from time to time and I gave you a couple of things that you can do on your own , but don't hesitate to reach out to a professional to better manage what you're going through . Better manage what you're going through , okay . And lastly , make sure , if you have not like share , subscribe to the podcast and send this out to a friend .

And if you want to hear certain episodes or have certain conversations , let me know . You can shoot me a DM or just leave a review and I will definitely follow up . All right , y'all be blessed Peace .