Ask yourself what you want . Oftentimes , during the holidays , we are looking to please people , please our families , please our coworkers , which there's not a problem with , that , it's not a big problem but I want you to include yourself in the conversation when you do that . That's how you show up with confidence .
Welcome back to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity podcast . I'm your host , jason Phillips , licensed therapist , confidence expert , and we are talking about how to manage the holidays with confidence .
Yeah , y'all know the holidays can be very overwhelming for a lot of us , and as we talk about these different ways to manage the stress , I'm going to share some things that have worked for me , like what I remember growing up , and then , hopefully , you can apply this to your life as well , or your individual situation .
So let's talk about it , because the holidays coming up we have Thanksgiving , christmas , new Year , all of that stuff and whatever other holidays that you may celebrate . Why is it stressful ? So one before we even get into how to manage the stress . It's stressful a lot of times because the pressure that we're putting on ourselves .
It's like as soon as we know Halloween just passed and we know , ok , thanksgiving is coming up and automatically you feel like . I want to make sure I do this right For myself , for my family , for my partner , for my kids . I want to make it right Now . Who said there was a wrong way of doing the holidays ? Nobody right . Nobody said that .
But we innately oftentimes equate the holidays with stress , pressure and the need to perform . We got to stop that . We have to let that go . We can't keep making the holidays a busy type of season . Well , it's going to be busy , but busy to the point where it causes us stress . Now we're more anxious . We're thinking about did I do this ? Did I miss that ?
How can I manage going to all of these different places ? Do I travel , do I not ? All of these questions come up and that becomes very overwhelming . So the first thing that I want you to do when you think about managing the holidays with confidence , is stick to a budget .
Yeah , before we even talk about who did you go see and what do you do , stick to a budget . This is so important . We heard the term before Don't cheat yourself , treat yourself , and I'm not going to lie , I definitely have lived by that term quite a bit , but it can get you in trouble . Right Bills become due . You may overspend on some gifts .
You rob importer to pay Paul . That's not cool . So I want you out the gate to stick to a budget . So think about how you want to give gifts . Do you want to travel ? Is this in your budget ? Have you appropriated funds to do this ? Or are you just trying to wing it and hope you can figure it out later ?
Like , don't do that , y'all , we've done that before , or I know I've done that before . But when you know better , you do better . So please let's not just wing it . And I can say sticking to a budget is critical , especially for parents . When I was growing up , my mom made sure every year Christmas was dope .
So people who are close to me , like friends , family if y'all were ever around , you know my house . During the holidays there was a lot of love , laughter and gifts . Right , we had a couple of trees in the house Christmas trees , and the trees had gifts around them . If they didn't have them leading up to Christmas , definitely on that morning .
And then , as we got older , I'll never forget one Christmas . We were in high school . So at this time in high school , you don't necessarily need the . I mean , you don't want the clothes or the pajamas , or even the toys and plus .
At this age , my mom didn't know what to get us , or not particularly me being a man or male boy , whatever however you wanna frame it . She didn't know , so she would just give us money and we were not rich . We weren't poor , but we weren't rich . But we , I definitely felt rich around the holiday time .
So , going back , if I could ask my mom , did she stick to a budget back then ? No , her budget was making sure her kids were happy , which I benefit it from greatly as a kid , right ?
I remember my birthday is in December , so two weeks actually two weeks to the day of my birthday is Christmas , so I would give Christmas gifts I'll be birthday gifts and Christmas gifts that's a lot . That's a lot . Y'all Single parent , that's a lot . Even dual households , that's a lot . But you want to stick to a budget ?
Don't just act solely out of emotion , because , trust me , your kids , your partner , your friends , your family , they're still gonna love you regardless . Oh , they should , right ? I don't know , sometimes we get things become they become very transactional , but they should still love you , even if you cannot , you know , get the certain bag or take the trips .
I mean , I don't even know what the limit is now because things have gotten so out of hand . So as I got older , I started telling my family like look , we don't need to go all out like that anymore .
It's getting to be a little stressful Not necessarily just for me , because I did enjoy giving gifts , but I knew the next month when bills are due or the next check . You know you're trying to catch up , but we don't want to go into the new year like that . So number one stick to a budget . Today's episode is brought to you by blank wardrobe .
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Visit their website at wwwblankwardrobecom and be sure to catch up with them on Instagram at the blank wardrobe , to shop and for outfit inspo . Number two set realistic expectations , and this means around who you visit , what you celebrate , how much time you spend when you go places .
You can't be five places and what , or you can be five places in one day , but is that gonna be healthy for you ? Do you really feel like , with you bouncing around Trying to go to this side of the town , that side of the town , that , at the end of the day , you're gonna fulfill by doing that right ? You , you can plan ahead .
So set the realistic expectations . One thing that my family does , or we would do sometimes we may hit some family members house on Christmas Eve or the day after . This was helpful because it took some pressure off of Feeling like I had to do everything on that one particular day .
Y'all know I'm from Detroit too , so , depending on how the weather is laying , that definitely might not be the best idea to try to Go everywhere , everywhere in that same one day . So set realistic expectations . Number three ask yourself what you want .
Oftentimes during the holidays , we are looking to please people , please our families , please our co-workers , which there's not a problem with that , it's not a big problem but I want you to include yourself in the conversation when you do that .
That's how you show up with confidence , being able to say you know what , yeah , I can do that , or no , I can't , because I want to do this for me , particularly if you have time off around this time of the year , sometimes companies are more generous .
If you work for yourself , you may plan to spend that you know one or two weeks without your clients and customers . You don't want to do that , thinking about what you need to do for everyone , for everybody else , and not thinking about yourself . So think about you too . You are important , you All right .
Number four I want you to rest , yes , as you think about what you want . I want you to make sure that you're planning downtime too . Often we'll go , go , go , go , go , and then we'll end up burning out , and this is even if you're having fun . So sometimes you can be having fun during the holidays .
You're laughing , you're joking , you know you fellowship or fellowshiping , which is all fine and it's good , and you may feel overwhelmed with you know , positive emotions , but then the next day you drain . You're like man that was dope , you know , kicking it . I haven't seen cousin in a while .
Haven't seen this person in a while we haven't done girl's night and you get a chance to do that , but then you feel like you need another vacation after you've been off for two weeks because you went so hard . Think about it right . It takes time to build up the PTO to schedule .
If you gotta drop kids off somewhere or get a dog sitter or you know , just clear off your schedule . Clear off your schedule for you two and make sure you are resting and relaxing . And this is particularly important for my high achievers , my high performers , those of us who just go , go , go , go .
You get off work , you hit an airport , you hit your destination , you're having fun , mixing , amingling , you get back home barely unpacked and you get right back into it . Let's not do that . Let's plan for some rest . That's number four . Number five this is gonna really help you manage the holidays with confidence . Think about your values .
So , as I'm talking about setting a budget , being realistic with expectations , thinking about what you want , planning your downtime , what do you value ? Because I wanna make sure that whatever it is that you value if it's financial security , if it's peace , if it's family it's incorporated into how you manage these holiday season or this holiday season .
If you're not careful , the holidays will fly by and you will feel like man , I'm glad it's over . I don't want you to feel like that . I want you to be proactive , think these things through , and because of that I wanna give you one more tip .
Be open to setting new traditions and this can seem a little bit not cheesy , but it can seem uncomfortable in the beginning Even thinking about doing something new .
I know , after my mom died back in 2019 , the Christmas we were in Florida Maybe not on Christmas day , but around that Christmas time and that was very , very new , and it just happened to be right before the pandemic hit . So that was cool for me to get a chance to unwind . Do something different . Do I do it every year ? No , was it cool that year ?
Yeah , would I do it again ? Of course I would , but be open to the idea of doing something new . Change of scenery can help you feel better , can help you relax . If you don't feel like maybe the holidays are a tough time for you , so you're not necessarily in the holiday season .
Being in a different environment can help you change how you feel , how you think , and just doing that , having that change of scenery , can add a new layer of motivation or serenity . So let's not sleep on doing something new .
Be open to it and again , check in with yourself , because you may have already been thinking about it , but you've been a little nervous about pulling the trigger . All right , y'all , we are wrapping up another episode of the Peace and Prosperity podcast . Hey , let me know which one of these tips is gonna help you better manage the holidays with confidence .
All right , y'all . Peace ["Peace and Prosperity"] . Thank you all for listening to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity podcast . Again , if you are feeling like , hey , I'm experiencing high functioning anxiety , don't beat yourself up about it . It is okay .
We all experience anxiety from time to time and I gave you a couple of things that you can do on your own , but don't hesitate to reach out to a professional to better manage what you're going through . Okay , and lastly , make sure , if you have not like share , subscribe to the podcast and send this out to a friend .
And if you wanna hear certain episodes or have certain conversations , let me know . You can shoot me a DM or just leave a review and I will definitely follow up . All right , y'all . Be blessed . Peace . ["peace and Prosperity"] .