How to Take Accountability - Episode #76

And you know , when you take more accountability , you are more confident and it takes you to have ownership , to really have a lot of integrity , to say that I'm going to take accountability and then to actually go ahead and put that into practice .

So before we talk about how to take accountability , I want to first talk about why you need to take accountability . One is going to enhance your character . So if you're thinking , how can I be a better person , how can I be more responsible ? How can people trust me more ?

The more you lean into being accountable , the higher you're going to be on that scale . Whether it be again , trustworthiness , integrity , people are going to look to you because you're owning up and saying , look , I want to step my game up , and often we're pointing at somebody else you did this or you did that . You didn't do this .

You made me feel this way , right ? How many times have we heard that ? You made me feel , you made me do ? Come on now . Does somebody really have that much power over you where they can make you do these things or did something ?

They do lead you to feel a certain way and then , because of that result or , at the end result , was you behaving in a certain manner ? But let's pause and stop always putting the blame on someone else and what they made you do . It didn't happen like that . You had a role in it too . So why don't we always take accountability ?

Because we feel like , if we take accountability , I'm a bad person . I did something wrong . Listen , we all make mistakes , self-included . So the more we can take accountability , the more we can have an even ground like level the playing field , and move from there . Another reason we don't take accountability is we feel like we're going to be exposed or found out .

Oh , if I say I did this or I didn't do that , then that means I'm not as good as I say I am . Trust me , whether you say it or you don't say it , it's not changing how people feel about you or what you have done or what you haven't done , but trying to avoid it or downplay it . That's not a good look , y'all .

So let's get into now that we talked about , like why we need to and why we don't . How do we ? The first ? Don't overcommit . There are times when we say we're going to do something because we want to be nice , we want to help somebody out , but then we feel like or we get into the situation and figure out oh , this is too much for me .

I said I was going to help Brandy , joe , jackie , kevin . I can't help all these people , but don't blame them because they asking you for help . Take accountability that you said yes to all of those people . That's the first step . Don't overcommit .

Look at your calendar first If you're trying to help somebody financially , look at your pocketbook , look at your bank account before you say , yes , I got you . And then you get mad at them when it was you who gave them the yes . The same thing in relationships too .

You say , hey , I'm going to do this around the house , or I'm going to do , you know , spend this much time with you , this around the house , or I'm going to do , you know , spend this much time with you . Do you truly have that much time to give , do you ?

Because if you don't , it's OK , but I want you to think about it first before you just willingly give that yes . And now that person is upset with you and you're like , well , you put too much on me now , but you agree to it . So it was a two way street . It wasn't just that person . So , number one , do not over commit .

Number two this is where the work comes in . I want you to identify where do you feel the most hurt , where do you feel like you are not being heard or the healing needs to happen ? And once you identify where that place is , I want you to get the help that you need . You see what happened right there .

You identify this is the source of pain and after you identified it , now you're saying I'm gonna do something about it . That is you taking accountability . So when you show up in these relationships , when you show up for yourself , now , the healing is already in process . Yeah , that that number two is going to be a game changer .

Hey , peace and prosperity family . I want to take a moment to talk about something vital for all organizations Employee wellness . I focus on tackling issues such as low morale , burnout and helping teams thrive by improving their employee wellness . Here's what some of the past organizations have shared about their experiences .

See , that was my thing , because some of y'all don't like to forgive , don't like to apologize and do not like to say hey , I was in the wrong . My bad , I'll never forget . I had two colleagues . They were getting into it , upset about whatever work stuff , and I remember asking one of my colleagues like hey , what , what's the situation ?

And she said well , she feels like blah , blah , blah . A , you know , this is what the situation is . And she was so , so deep into what she said . She said I'm not going to . What did she say ? She said I'm not going to apologize for what I did because I meant everything I said , but I will apologize if she took it a certain way .

And whatever she said , I was like hold up , hold up , hold up . Basically , you're not giving a real apology . You feel what I'm saying ? Like , she said I'm going to apologize not for what I said but for how she took it . If she took it that way , all I know is that that right there threw me for a loop because like , are you apologizing or are you not ?

And then the last piece is after you apologize , I want you , oh . And then the last piece after you apologize , is ask yourself how am I contributing to this problem ? See , when you take accountability , you don't just put it on the other person , but you have to look inward at what is your role or what has your role been in this situation .

How are you contributing to it ? And we often don't want to do that . How are you contributing to it ? And we often don't want to do that ? But that , right there , it humbles you and it lets the other person know that you are truly sincere about doing something in this situation and you're not just putting it on them . This will help you in any relationship .

Let's say you're a parent and you're upset with how your kids are behaving or what they're doing or not doing in school . How are you contributing to it ? Don't just put it all on your kid , even if it's only five percent of something that you could do differently , that five percent goes a long way .

Because now you're saying , OK , look , I've been letting you get away with not studying on a weekend when I know or I knew you should have been studying more . That's ownership . That's saying that , hey , I can be a little bit more strict with you , I can be more disciplined with you and not putting it all on the child in a relationship .

You've been upset because this person , you're not communicating well , but you take ownership and say you know what ?

But there are some times when you're talking to me and I'm checked out , I'll be honest , I'm I'm waiting to respond , and it's going in one ear and out the other because I'm still hurt from when you disrespected me or when I didn't feel heard two times ago . So I am contributing to the poor communication now with yourself .

Maybe there's some goals that you have set for you and you're looking at your environment is why you can't reach these goals . Well , I don't have all the necessary tools or my mindset's not right . My health when my health is better , then I'll be able to perform or to move like I want to . You know what that sounds like .

It sounds like you only take accountability when it's conditional . I want you to take accountability for that too . That is you contributing to the problem . See , accountability can go a long way and it can help in a number of ways too .

But we have to be open to taking a lot more ownership and stop putting the blame on other people , other systems , other situations . But what can we truly do to address this problem ? Y'all let me know how you start showing up and what changes happen in your life when you start to take more accountability . All right , y'all , y'all be blessed Peace .

Thank you all for listening to another episode of the Peace and Prosperity Podcast . Again , if you are feeling like , hey , hey , I'm experiencing high functioning anxiety , don't beat yourself up about it . It is okay .

We all experience anxiety from time to time and I gave you a couple of things that you can do on your own , but don't hesitate to reach out to a professional to better manage what you're going through . Okay , and lastly and lastly , make sure , if you have not like share , subscribe to the podcast and send this out to a friend .

And if you want to hear certain episodes or have certain conversations , let me know . You can shoot me a DM or just leave a review and I will definitely follow up . All right , y'all Be blessed Peace .