Well golly make sure you don't miss this week's pod... we've got important POO UPDATES for you!! 💩💩💩 That's right, even after we spent all that time last week talking about poo, apparently that wasn't enough so we're back for round number 2 😜 this week with some important POO UPDATES 💩💩💩 provided by the ever-reliable potterphiles, one of which might even save the life of your most beloved family member. But never fear, we also find time for some serious film chat as we discuss Everything ...
Apr 04, 2023•59 min
This week we urge you to abandon your friends, family, society etc and instead join up with a ragtag community of online weirdos in the pornhub comments section 🥰 🥰 We also interrogate the claim that blood is thicker than water 👩🔬 and reveal the little known legal loophole guaranteed to absolve you of any and all criminal charges! Plus we debut the brand-spanking new game (concocted by another one of you lunatic potterphiles) - Neville Have I Eville!
Mar 28, 2023•1 hr 7 min
NAZI SANDWICH: Unfortunately this week's pod is book ended by some inevitable Nazi chat, since apparently there's heaps of them running around in Melbourne... but even if that's not to your taste, don't miss out on the sweet, sweet filling in this Nazi sub - as we also talk about Jesus's supple body, festive intergenerational warfare, and the surprising new star of the upcoming Robbie Williams biopic who might bang your daughter, but might also steal your bananas!
Mar 21, 2023•56 min
It's an extra long pod this week to compensate for our increasingly loose schedule... but its fair to say a lot has happened in those few additional days since our last podcast including COOL STUFF 😎 like getting catatonically drunk at a Harry Styles concert, AWKWARD STUFF 🐢 like probably dying in a pointless war with China soon, and CRAZY STUFF 🤪 like the insane Airtasker blood feud that one Riordan Lee has unwittingly stumbled into... We also find time to talk some PHILOSOPHY 🧐 as we try t...
Mar 17, 2023•1 hr 19 min
BRAWN > BRAINS: this week we check in on a couple of godlike adonises, Dave Bautista and Arnold Schwarzenegger, to see what these big old slabs of prime beef can tell us about thespianism, aesthetics, and weird sex stuff 💪 We also have plenty of helpful tips for protesting cops at World Pride (in style) and boldly ask as the question - is moving apartments more painful than childbirth?
Feb 28, 2023•1 hr 1 min
We can't even begin to describe the magnitude of the major malfoynction that all but destroyed this pod, or the heroic/ psychotic lengths we went to salvage it, but as you listen to this episode just keep in mind how close you came to never knowing about: when to buycott and when to boycott schlemiels and schlemazels from our high school the de-platforming of AI Seinfeld Going Going Gondola (2023) And most of important of all... GRANNY'S GROWLERS!!...
Feb 15, 2023•59 min
SEE YOU IN PELL 🔥🔥 Well its been a long time between pods, but just as our motivation was hitting an all time low Sweet Lady Luck threw us a bone - Cardinal George Pell bit the dust and we knew it was only a matter of time before we'd be back, if only to stomp on his grave for a bit and bid a belated adios to an OG potterphile and all round despicable man. Plus we catch up on some baffling news out of the States including a congressman who seems to be more lies than man. Also Harry Potter......
Feb 07, 2023•44 min
Rest assured dear potterphiles, the paging mr potter podcast will be returning very, very soon! In the meantime, please enjoy this compilation of one of our favourite segments from last year - our mental list of the craziest moments in history. And for the ultimate listening experience (with timestamps and cheesy visuals) head over to the PMP Youtube channel and subscribe.
Jan 25, 2023•1 hr 42 min
HARK THE HARRY 👼👼📯📯 It's time for yet another PMP Christmas Spectacular 🎄🎄🎄 This week we celebrate JC's bday by singing some vile Christmas carol parodies, and shout out the real xmas MVP Ebenezer Scrooge 👑 And while the countdown to 2023 is on, we'll run you through: 17 days of PMP Christmas 16+ straight days of PMP content consumed by one potterphile this year 5 stages of grief Our 3 new years remuslupins (or resolutions as you hicks call them), and The one and only Word of the Year...
Dec 20, 2022•1 hr 13 min
While the crypto frauds and tech bozos continue to let us down, the PMP boys put on an ENTREPRENEURIAL MASTERCLASS this week as we celebrate the heights of human genius and innovation in our favourite new segment Harry Patent™ AND attempt to secure a major real estate transaction at the same time! Plus we preview a blockbuster World Cup clash that will well and truly be over by the time this pod goes out
Nov 30, 2022•53 min
With the World Cup kicking off this week, we check in with the huge weirdos that run the corrupt FIFA organisation, and speculate on whether the French soccer team's recent foray into sorcery will backfire or pay dividends come game day ⚽🏆 Plus we'll give you a comprehensive rundown on the history of human ingenuity, from the humble wheel (not a very good invention) to a sex spa designed by a well known American stage magician (also not a very good invention).
Nov 22, 2022•54 min
In a week where major malfoynctions and technical difficulties threatened to interfere with our freedom of speech, thank GOD billionaire bird boy Elon Musk stepped in and saved free speech once and for all, at great personal cost. Also what do Dumbledore and Donkey from Shrek have in common? That's right! They both have sex with dragons as it turns out on page 175
Nov 09, 2022•44 min
WE'RE SORRY! This week a truly regrettable naming mixup on our part triggers a full scale Royal Commission into racism in the Paging Mr Potter podcast. Luckily for us though, it turns out the British are even more hopeless with names than we are, leading to an all English edition of the classic game Peter Pettiwho 🏴❓
Oct 25, 2022•54 min
After the soaring heights of celebrating the first ever Saint Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington day on Friday, we came crashing back down to earth this week with the untimely death of Hagrid 🌹But thankfully we did have page 173 to fall back on, which obviously elicited no emotional reaction whatsoever 😑
Oct 17, 2022•56 min
Tell your boss you're not coming in this Friday - 14 October 2022 - because not only is it our FOUR YEAR PODIVERSARY but the inaugural Saint Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington Day! A fully legitimate national public holiday commemorating the world's greatest podcast (this podcast). Also, we devise a plan to take down Melbourne's rudest restaurant by serving up a taste of their own medicine...
Oct 10, 2022•53 min
In the aftermath of the NRL grand final, a loathsome rugby league journalist coins yet a another bizarre insult to add to our footy vocabulary 🐭☕ A beloved Hogwarts professor quits teaching to try her luck running a fast food burger joint 🍟🍔 And in our latest Argus Film a children's cartoon devolves into a call for bloody revolution ✊🍪
Oct 04, 2022•1 hr 8 min
This week the true story behind Neil Diamond's 'Sweet Caroline' leaves a sour taste in our mouths. Plus we discuss the legal implications of flashing hog in a hall of mirrors 🐷🪞🐷
Sep 27, 2022•1 hr 2 min
Fair to say Harry Potter has put us off books forever so instead this week we're talking MOVIES, including the 90s crime thriller that's given Riordan nightmares all week🗡️🙃 and our pitch for a brand new political comedy starring Woody Harrelson 🍁🤠
Sep 19, 2022•1 hr 4 min
Well... there was really no getting away from this... so without further ado we present our tribute to the late Queen Elizabeth II 🌹 POD SAVE THE KING
Sep 13, 2022•50 min
This week a potterphile uncovers a mysterious prophecy buried deep in our apple podcasts reviews 🔮✨ but does this glimpse into the future help us steer the pod in wise directions? Or are we doomed to even more low comedy, hijinks and mishaps - much like a young Raven Symone who we discuss for god knows what reason...
Sep 05, 2022•1 hr 2 min
We’re absolutely thrilled to announce our exciting new joint venture with a totally legitimate and not at all suspicious online dating app 🔥🔥 Make sure you check it out using the link in our instagram bio today!! Also we discuss whether diving cartoonishly into a sea of coins is really as fun as it looks…
Aug 29, 2022•59 min
Against his better judgment this week Andrew makes a pilgrimage to one of the most sacred sites in Potterdom 🙏 Plus we attempt to revitalise Lord Voldemort's acting career by casting him as the lead of Nathan's hit new romantic comedy 🥰
Aug 23, 2022•56 min
Its a series of crucial missteps this week as Harry Potter takes an unpleasant trip to an adult bookstore, Nancy Pelosi takes an ill-advised trip to Taiwan and Salman Rushdie takes an ill-fated trip to... a public place. Also it turns out we might not have actually been reading one full page of Harry Potter each week for the past 164 weeks lmao
Aug 15, 2022•1 hr
SURPRISE SUCKAAASSS 🐣 Did you really think we'd let the pod die without finishing this damn book? SHAME ON YOU!!! And while we didn't make any meaningful progress with the book this week, we did get through one hell of a lot of rugby league news
Aug 08, 2022•58 min
This week Nathan stalks two beloved Harry Potter actors and tries to ambush them at a comic convention (which actually doesn’t sound great now that I’m typing it out). And uh-ohhh Hagrid’s drunk at the Hogwarts Christmas party and about to make a play for one of Hogwarts’s biggest hotties 🥴🥴
Jun 20, 2022•52 min
Sorry for the delayed pod but we were busy carefully crafting the tightest >1hr of podcasting probably in history and it's mostly about crap we’ve seen on TV! And when I say CRAP I’m talking infomercials 🤑 Adriano Zumbo’s short lived dessert thing 🤷 and a particularly spicy segment from The Footy Show 💩
Jun 14, 2022•1 hr 1 min
This week we take a stroll through Crazy Town and discuss the band’s eerily prescient hit about ladies coming 🦋 Plus we talk about Clive Palmer’s big, fat… heart?!
Jun 06, 2022•41 min
As promised, this week we trial an all new game - “UAPeter Pettiwho” - the only guessing game based entirely on the odious mouthbreathers from the One Nation and United Australia parties (with a little Potter magic sprinkled on top) And did German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche predict Guy Sebastian’s Australian Idol victory all the way back in 1883? That’s uber cool!
May 30, 2022•50 min
*To the tune of the Backstreet’s Back pre chorus* Is this uncomfortable? YEAAHHH Weirdly sexual? YEAAHHHH Ha-grid-lec-ta-ble? YEAAHHHH Yes its very PMP, you better rock your dobby now
May 23, 2022•46 min
On today’s pod Andrew gives us his thoughts on the new Fantastic Beasts flick, we delve into John Mayer’s Chinese heritage and we revisit one of the most odious ghouls to ever inhabit Australian politics
May 16, 2022•57 min
