¶ Navigating Imposter Syndrome in Professional Settings
Hey , my name is Teresa Hildebrand and this is Organized Chaos . We take a deep dive into living with intentionality , focusing on what's important in our lives so we can truly feel our best . It may feel chaotic at times , but with a little organization , the right mindset and a ton of self-love , we can still thrive .
Join me as we talk to other busy moms and experts who will share tips and strategies to help you reach your goals . Hope you enjoy this episode of Organized Chaos . Now on to the show . Hey friends , welcome to another episode of Organized Chaos .
So today I'm actually sharing a coaching session I did in Modern Leadership , which is a YouTube channel I co-host with my husband , and every now and then we will do live coaching sessions , and I wanted to share this particular one with you because she's struggling like not being expert enough .
Those were her words , and this is really kind of related around imposter syndrome , so feeling uncomfortable being in a room where you feel like you don't belong . So I think that many of us can relate to this . So I wanted to share how I actually coached her through this a little bit and kind of give her the ability to see this from a different perspective .
So , without further ado . Here is my coaching session with Tricia . Tricia , thank you so much for being here . Thank you for inviting me , of course .
So , if you guys are listening to the Modern Leadership podcast or you're here with us watching us on the Modern Leadership YouTube channel , we do live coaching sessions with our inner circle members occasionally and it's a really great way for you to kind of see us in action .
But also maybe this will resonate with you maybe you're going through something similar and you want to see , like , how we can kind of work through some of these struggles so that we can move forward and , like , really take action .
So today , tricia is going to let us know , like what it is that she's struggling with and see how we can navigate through this particular topic . So we did talk a little bit before we went live . But , tricia , can you set this up ? Tell us what it is that you want to work through today ?
Yes , thank you .
This is something that's come up at various levels within my journey as an entrepreneur is not feeling expert enough , like not feeling like , or maybe that I've stepped into a room that's a whole lot too big sometimes and you know , I haven't had it happen for a while , but it did happen again for me last weekend , okay , so tell me more about that .
So I there's a local nonprofit that I wanted to sign up to volunteer for and get acquainted with , and it took a little longer than expected , but we had a meeting last weekend and I wanted to join their mentorship committee .
Being an advanced life and performance coach and being somebody that volunteerism has always been a key for me , this was a great fit and I was excited .
I went to a meet and greet they had , and so we have this first meeting last Sunday morning and I am in the room with some pretty high-end professionals and on my entrepreneurial journey , I feel like I'm at the beginning of it . This is new to me and we're going in the right direction . But I step into this room and I'm going .
I am like I just had that . I'm the low man on the totem pole . I've got the least amount of experience .
Do I have enough to bring to the table . So let's kind of work through that a little bit . So last weekend you went to this nonprofit meeting and you've been wanting to join this committee , right , this mentorship committee , and you walk into the room and you see that there's all these high-end professionals and you think do I have enough ?
Do you have enough to what ?
To offer them and helping them create this mentorship program .
It's a local city women's empowerment group and we're putting together a you know six-month to 12-month mentorship course for you know women to learn how to become a better entrepreneur or to just gain you know professional , more professionalism and , you know , go up the ranks in their jobs and what they want to do and accomplish in life .
It's a , you know , I feel like it's a very important task .
Yeah , so when you think about that , when you think you're in this space , where you feel like , like you said , you're at the bottom of the totem pole and you feel like you don't have enough experience . You say do I have enough to offer them ? How does that make you feel ?
Very nervous and scared at times . You know , can I , can I really bring enough ?
But in that moment last week , when you were at this meeting , panic . So you felt panicked , okay so you're thinking do I have enough to offer them ? Right , You're in this new space and you felt panic .
What did you do when you felt panic ? I probably didn't offer up some enough suggestions of what I thought of , because we were just kind of brainstorming ideas of you know what things we would want in this mentorship for people .
I didn't bring a whole lot of suggestions , um , but you know it is a brainstorming thing and we're coming back together in two weeks and you know I I kind of shared my experience , what I had and in in gave mentorship .
You know , like in mentorship programs , I've had what I've liked in it and what I haven't liked in it and things that I think should be offered , but I just didn't feel they were . Not that they weren't well-received they were , but I just felt that they weren't there was enough meat to them , I guess .
There was enough meat .
Yeah .
Like was there enough ?
substance . Yeah , that's the word I was looking for okay , so .
So you said you did give membership or mentorship . Sorry , um , but what was the energy like ?
the energy was very good . Um , okay , I think I tried to , you know , stand with confidence in the room . You know I do , I know I have things to offer . But is it enough for this level of professional mentorship ? I guess is where I questioned myself .
Okay , so what else did you ? Uh , did you do when you were feeling panicked ?
Um , um , I stayed in the room , you know , I said I'd be back for the next meeting and , um , I just took a breath and I thought , you know I can do this .
You know , I tried to kind of cheerlead myself a little bit , um , and I gave them a couple suggestions as to what to they could put out maybe in their marketing , to ask people what they would want to bring .
I was pretty proud of myself in that moment , you know , like maybe I don't have , you know , every answer , but at least I thought I put out a good , you know , suggestion , like let's ask the people that are here in the room or following us on social that what do they want ? You know , so that was probably my highlight of the conversation .
But and then I thought to myself okay , how am I going to do this ?
Okay , so what didn't you do when you were in kind of like this state ?
Um , I probably could have offered some things that I felt would have been a good addition at that point and not wait until the next meeting to see what others bring to the table too , and maybe I could have given suggestions of different ways that I have mentored in the past .
And what were some other thoughts that were popping up in that moment .
I really had this . Did I bite off more than I can chew ? Feeling thought Um .
Like you know , I know that I need to step into rooms that I feel uncomfortable with , but I think at that moment I thought maybe I took too big of a leap .
Okay , so let me kind of walk you through this again , yep , and for those listening or watching , just so that you can kind of see the process , that thought process that happens from like thought to feeling to
¶ Gaining Confidence in Professional Settings
action . So last weekend you had this meeting for a nonprofit it was for the mentorship committee and you said you know , the room is full of high end professionals and your story was do I have enough to offer them ?
Thought that you felt panic and some of the things that you did were you , you did give mentorship and you did feel good about some of the things that you were saying , but you still kind of hesitated and you didn't offer enough suggestions because you you had probably many , but you you maybe kept yourself from doing that .
There was kind of like it seems like this back and forth between I don't know if I'm kind of good enough , but also , hey , I got all of these great suggestions that I can and I can do this . So there was kind of this back and forth , and that kind of happens when you are a life coach as well .
So you kind of you know you go back and forth from you know like head voice to heart voice and back and forth , but you felt like you still could have offered more suggestions and you could have kind of showed them that you do have some type of experience in mentoring .
You also thought , you know , other thoughts will pop up into our head when you know this happens , where you thought did I bite off more than I could chew ? Maybe I took too big of a leap ? So with all of this , what do you think you are manifesting ?
I'm creating , that I'm not going to show up with confidence , that I'm going to sit in , that I'm taking a backseat to it , that I feel like I don't have enough to offer .
Yeah , like you're not showing up with confidence . Because when you're not showing up with confidence , that's basically what your story is You're , you're , you're , you're thinking , well , do I have enough to offer them ? You're kind of you know , there's , there's self doubt popping up , right .
And yes .
So , tricia , I know you and I know you have so much to offer , and it's just about really focusing on what you do have to offer .
And , of course , everybody's at a different level and I I know for a fact that you know when , when it's us , we think we're kind of down here , but in reality we're not , and it's just about really focusing on well , how do I want to show up ?
Maybe I feel like I'm not at the level of these high-end professionals , but I'm learning , right , I'm learning how to get there and how do I want to show up to these meetings so that I can provide that feedback , I can provide that expertise that I know you do have right .
It's just about really elevating , like a really positive and empowering thought , so that you can show up the best way you can , because that's all we can do , right , is show up the best way we can . We're still learning . However . You have so much to offer , right ? So how do we ? You know , how do we get you to that space ?
How do we get you to that space , that headspace , so that the next time you go to that committee meeting , you can provide the expertise and , you know , the mentorship that you know you really have , and you know it doesn't matter how they take it or if they take it , but at least you know that you showed up , right ?
So let's think about this You're going to go to another meeting , right ? Yep , okay , so you're going to go to another meeting . So the facts don't change , like the fact is that last week you went to a meeting and you're going to go to another meeting . So that's not going to change . However , we can change how you perceive this next encounter , right ?
So how do you want to show up ?
I want to show up with confidence and energy and , you know , just really focus on collaboration . Like you , I firmly believe you can do more as a team and being able to show up in that level standing , just standing taller , you know , just knowing feeling that I have that confidence and feeling that you know that this , you know where I may .
I'm going to learn stuff out of this . You know , learn things out of this too , as much as I give stuff out of this .
You know , learn things out of this too . As much as I give yeah , and and what does ? What is a thought that you can have that will give you that confidence and that energy and make you feel like you're standing up tall .
I think for me it goes back to the impact that I can make that you know , no matter how small that impact is or how big it is , my one of my core values is to just make that impact . You know how can I change somebody's life with these group of women that I'm working with ?
with these group of women that I'm working with . Yes , and you see how there's . There was another question there . So you started off with a question with your thought do I have enough to offer them ? And now you have another question . However , it's much more empowering how can I change somebody's life ? Right , Like that .
That is a question that you want to go for right . You want to really , really find out how you can do that . So you said your thing is impact , right , no matter how small or how big that impact is , how can I change somebody's life ? So , with that thought , how does that make you feel ? I feel excited .
It brings me excitement and brings me joy .
So when you're feeling excited , you're showing up to these meetings . What are you doing ?
You know I have a list of things that I think are essential for that meeting . I've done my , my assigned task for that , and then I'm ready to , you know , really get down and and in the nitty gritty and collaborate to , you know , make this the best program possible for local women . What else ? And to learn , and else , and to learn and what .
And to learn Like part of me getting into this was to also learn . You know , like I have a lot to offer in it , things that I think are essential , but I also will gain a lot of stuff from the women that I get to work with .
Yeah , and what do you think you're going to stop yourself from doing when you're excited and you want to jump in and do things ?
I'm not going to hesitate , you know , I'm not going to hesitate .
You know , like you said , you know , even if it's you know , not something that in the end we vote to keep , we all have the suggestions out there so that we have as many opportunities in ways and avenues , paths , however you want to say it , for these women to excel and for us to excel , leading them .
And what do you think are some of the other thoughts that you're going to have when you're in this state ?
Um , I think a lot of it would be how can I make it better ? You know , even if it's a suggestion for myself from somebody else , how can we make this better together ? What can I contribute as my portion of this ?
So how can ?
I lead better .
How can I lead better ? That's a great question , and even better is when you actually make it a statement too .
Yes .
I can . I can work with others to make this better , right , yes , okay , so let's go
¶ Building Confidence Through Small Shifts
back to the top . So you're at this meeting and your , your new story is that you want to make a bigger impact , no matter how big or small , and how can I change someone's life ? And that makes you feel excited .
And then you start , you start doing stuff , you start moving right , you start making a list of the essential things , you are ready to collaborate . So your energy is high . You want to make this the best program and you also are there to learn , not just to give , and you don't hesitate . You still give those suggestions .
They can take it or leave it , right , but you are going to offer those suggestions . And then you start to focus on how can we make this program better and how can you lead better . So what do you think you're going to be manifesting from that ?
That'll create for me confidence in walking into the room with the ideas that I have and how to use them to the best of everybody's benefit .
So not just yes , exactly . So it's not just hey , I'm going to be more confident , you're truly going to help change someone's life . Because , yes , you're going to make that impact because you're going to be devoted to this , you're going to be excited about it and you're going to be participating in it . So it's not going to be do . I have enough to offer ?
It's , I do have enough to offer and I'm going to put my best foot forward into it Right .
Yes , I love that . I love how you just tweaked .
It is and really it was tiny . It truly is just little tweaks , right , that can make a huge difference . And I do have to say , Tricia , that when you first started and you started to tell me well , I don't know if I have enough to offer and things like that , and I'm thinking back to not just what's happening now , but your whole life prior to this .
You have so much to offer with your life experience . Maybe it doesn't feel like it right now because you're stepping into something new and it feels scary . Every time we step outside of our comfort zone it's always scary .
It doesn't matter how much life we've had , how many jobs we've had , how many experiences we've had , what we've gone through , sometimes it doesn't matter . When we're in this really scary place , however , we just need to stop and think sometimes logically okay , I know , I have experience .
Maybe it's not particularly in this , but I venture to say that you do have some experience with this because it's mentorship and you're a life coach as well .
You can offer that that I'm pretty sure a lot of people in this group do not have , do not have , and now they have a life coach in their corner , in their , you know , in their in their space , to collaborate and to kind of see things in a different perspective that they would . They wouldn't be able to to do , you know , if you weren't in that room .
So you know your you being in this is going to make such a huge difference and the things that you're going to be doing and the things you're going to be offering , and you know all of these skills that you've built up until this moment .
Everything counts , everything matters , and you are going to make such a huge difference , and I'm super excited for you Me too .
I really am , and I'm super excited for you Me too . I really am Like this thing lit me up , and then when I got in the room I was like , oh wait , but you know , it is . It's something that speaks to me . That I'm , you know , very much is in line with what I want to do with my business and what I want to do outside that in the world .
So I am super excited to do this and thank you , this helped so much .
Yeah , I'm glad and you know , thank you for what you do . I mean , you know , not everybody you know is willing to volunteer their time , their skills , their energy to nonprofits like this .
So you know what you're doing is going to make a huge difference and you know , little by little , you'll get in there and you'll , you know , start to build up that confidence . It's just about reminding yourself that you know you do have enough to offer .
You have more than enough to offer this organization and I and I'm excited to see what , what comes out of it Me too- Very much so Okay . So how do you feel now ?
I feel very energetic about what I have to complete by the next meeting . Now it it .
You know you can tell yourself things , but believing in them sometimes you know it takes that just change of the view , which you know it really you can take the same sentence and , like you said , make it from a question to a statement and that that little shift in your , the way you look at something , it makes a difference . So thank you very much .
Yeah , and it's really about repetition . Like you said , sometimes it's hard to believe . You know what you're trying to , you know how you're trying to reframe that narrative and it's just about repeating it until you believe it . Right ?
Because , just like how that process I walk you through , of what it is that you focus on and the story that you tell yourself leads to whatever feeling that is , and then it makes you take certain actions .
¶ Aligning Actions With Desired Story
That repetition of focusing on that story that you want to believe , then that will lead you to take the actions that are aligned with that . So it's just about aligning , you know , with the actions that you want . So your story has to align with the actions that you want and what you truly want to manifest .
So it's just about practice and , yeah , I appreciate it . That was a huge help . Yeah , so it's just about practice and , yeah , I appreciate it . That was a huge help , yeah , but you know , thank you for being here and sharing . You know what you're going through .
I know it's going to help a lot of people , at the very least , become aware of how their stories are , you know , manifesting into something that they don't want , so that they can make the switch and start creating the things that they do want . So thank you so much for being here . Tricia , absolutely .