Pauls of the Realm, it is time to defend a poor, maligned film from one of the Pauls' youths and defend it against overwhelming indifference. I ask this of you, brave Pauls, that you complete one last mission before we let you go and be with Ray Winstone in Valhalla, or whatever the Romans believed in. Featuring: King Clive, Hannibal Lector, Will Graham, Mister Fantastic/Rik Mayall, Ray "put a bet on" Winstone, Hippy Joel Edgerton, DAG, Snarly Knightly, Stellan Skarsgaard the cowboy Viking, Hugo...
May 21, 2019•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 187
Good piss balls, Watson, it appears to be the most devilish challenge the Pauls have faced yet. A comedy film of such crippling ineptitude there could only be one culprit! ...and many, many accomplices, all of whom shall share the Pauls' ire. Look the fuck out, Watson, I fear we are in for a Paul onslaught the likes of which we've seldom seen before! Perhaps some crack will calm our nerves. Featuring: Peter 'Baby Legs' Travers, 'Murica Jones, Will Pharrell, Ralph Fiennes' Beard, comedy sound eff...
May 14, 2019•55 min•Ep. 186
The Pauls went snooping around Riz Ahmed's basement late one night and caught a nasty bout of CGI face. The only cure is to watch the not-quite-Marvel anti-hero movie, Venom starring Tom "could you repeat that" Hardy. Along the way they discover the true meaning of friendship and how to sniff out homo-erotic subtext at 100 minutes. This one isn't at all family friendly. It's a hard episode, for a totally grown up movie rated PG-13. Featuring: dope rhymez, Bristopher Nolan, the end of professiona...
May 07, 2019•58 min•Ep. 185
It’s Franchise FffffTuesday, and you know what that means: a snap game of Russian Roulette! The Pauls remember that they’d only seen Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald once before and apparently a lot of people paid money to see it despite it being a pooper of a picture. Is it deserving of constant upsetting derision or is the real crime of Grindelwald the penny sweets that Mark Kermode pilfers from the pick ‘n’ mix aisle in the local Cineworld that he insists on returning to despite se...
Apr 30, 2019•57 min•Ep. 184
It's the end of the financial year God Bless the Queen and the Pauls like to celebrate the completion of their returns by dusting off the old podcasting mics and having a chinwag about the best films of the year - in list form! Featuring: everything you could ever imagine and hopefully a little bit more than that, as well. ogtpod@gmail.com https://ogtpod.podbean.com https://facebook.com/ogtpod https://twitter.com/ogtpod We are proud members of the Alottagreen Network – you can check out two enor...
Apr 23, 2019•1 hr 43 min•Ep. 183
Are you sick of the modern world and its values? Tired of the constant need to treat people different from you with respect? I know we is. So let's dive head first into this 50s thing in which simple, dragon-god-fearing folk fear and distrust their fellow man/woman/ape-man as well they should. It's a perfect experiment. What could go wrong? One Good Thing. Featuring: An important Kangaroo Jack update, every Wednesday you've ever had, Casablanca 2, a comedy relief parrot, a Welshman in his natura...
Apr 16, 2019•49 min•Ep. 182
John from Beyond the Box Set ( @BeyondTheBoxSet ) arrives this week with a hefty serving of campy child abuse entertainment: that’s right, it’s the one good thing about Mommie Dearest starring Faye Dunaway, possibly Joan Crawford. It might be a comedy, it might be a double comedy. One thing’s for sure: it’s so much art that we don’t know anything except something something wire hangers. Featuring: tuhbo tihme, the ten percent game, Roger Mooreslehoff, M, G and M, fuck you up death glare, loaf of...
Apr 09, 2019•1 hr 15 min•Ep. 181
On March 22nd 2019, America waited… for The Pauls to finish their episode on The Predator. But in the film we watched the week after, on another March 22nd, watching The Purge became legal for just twelve hours. Could The Pauls achieve such a task, factoring in bathroom and bagel breaks and finding all the good things about this film whilst simultaneously upvoting Captain Marvel and Doctor Who on all movie review websites? Jeremy Corbyn could. Some say he already has. The one good thing about Th...
Apr 02, 2019•57 min•Ep. 180
Aw shucks, they got in again. Baby Beard Media have infiltrated the Paul Cove (TM) again and this time they have made us talk about Shane Black's underwhelming entry into the Predator Puddle (TM). Will it be as good as Predator 2 starring Danny Glover (TM)? Will anyone successfully articulate an entire thought? Will one of the Pauls be schooled on the qualities of the original predator? No, kind of and yes. Listen. Featuring: At least four too many people, a forgettable squad of misfits, real ta...
Mar 26, 2019•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 179
Welcoming OGTeam and OGTeen/Tweens alike: the Pauls make history with their first ever family friendly episode – and it's about Disney Pixar cinematic-release-at-the-last-minute Planes! Do the Pauls go the entire episode without saying anything adult or do they flip up and go butts to the wall as this film works its Disney magic on their eager and nubile minds? Well, only one way to blummin' find out eh? ...farts. Featuring: Am Boat Am Plane, What's in the box?, not a pun, Seino, the many hearts...
Mar 19, 2019•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 178
Rage-ho, OGTeam: one of the Pauls can’t stand the wave of middling-to-good reception of a Wes Anderson film and has made it his life’s work to force people to love everything that a director a lot of people like already… more. It’s very satisfying and worthwhile. Paul G “defends” The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou! Featuring: inspirational Owen Wilson t-shirt, Liam Neeson is definitely Jesus, old man Anderson and his Pokémon windows, Bill Murray’s little face! and simple touching. ogtpod@gmail.c...
Mar 12, 2019•53 min•Ep. 177
Every available Cockney cliché under the sun boys and girls, because this week the Pauls look for one good thing about Ray Cooney’s adapted from the stage play by Ray Cooney comedy film Run For Your Wife! Gorblimey Mary Poppins, it’s British, it’s a sex comedy, it’s everything that series of descriptives suggests it will be. Don’t dilly dally my boy, get stuck in OO-BLOODY-ERR. Featuring: Denise Van H'outen, A Very Morrissey Reality, digital bigamy, d’oh, d’aww, what is he like and a Cockney rhy...
Mar 05, 2019•57 min•Ep. 176
Get that ass, shake it thoroughly and then park it right there so you can listen to this week's OGT. The Pauls are opening wide for Paul Verhoeven's controversial masterpiece Showgirls. Is it a charming if clunky and kitsch insight into the seedy world of Las Vegas strip shows? Or just a lame excuse to see boobs. Only time and us will tell. Featuring: more Mayall than you can handle, Kyle McClogkggn, a detumescent experience, the advantages of home video, Mega-acting, a Christmas tree, automatic...
Feb 26, 2019•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 175
Have you ever wondered what it's like to have not seen a particular Terrence Malick film and not particularly wanting to either, only to listen to two Pauls blow your mind and say the rumours were unfounded and please watch this perfect thing before it gets so good that all of us will be subsumed by the resulting opening void? Well neither have we, so here's us talking about the latest Terrence Malick disappointment Song to Song, featuring some great people doing barely a thing. Featuring: drink...
Feb 19, 2019•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 174
One hundred and six, death by sticks! That's right, it's another high-concept episode with a six at the end where the Pauls talk not at you or even each other, but position themselves in front of the mirror and say things they've thought about in advance about film soundtracks until the glass fogs up and they believe the spirits sated once again. Before that happens however they discuss ORIGINAL MOVIE SCORES in fine and sexy detail! They conclude upon the greatest score-adjacent questions out th...
Feb 12, 2019•2 hr•Ep. 173
You made it past the title! Congrats, you're halfway there. The Pauls dive face first into the past to discover those awful films of the past in the hopes of unearthing a new terrible gem! It's like antique hunting in a flaming bin. Today they talk about a 1960s musical zombie film that people have kind of heard of as a joke. Featuring: Nicholas Cage, editing 101, a fantastic compère, a total badass, four dancers and their friends, an incomprehensible foreigner, Ca$h $tacks, erotic bobbing, a 19...
Feb 05, 2019•45 min•Ep. 172
The Pauls were just sitting in their hovel enjoying some rice, when suddenly an errant Matthew Whitaker from the land of Screen Mayhem barged in and challenged us to a brutal duel to the pod! Naturally we sprang to our knees then later our feet and accepted the challenge. Kung Pow! Is it a masterful satire of old martial arts movies, or just a lot of nuts. You decide, based on us deciding for you. Featuring: quotable phrases, cinematic self-discipline, Buzz Aldrin, bad date movies, noises, utter...
Jan 29, 2019•52 min•Ep. 171
Congratulations on getting past that awful title. It's an Eddie Murphy movie in which he plays a dual role (spoilers) but without a fat suit (spoilers)! It's a January Miracle like frost and taxes. Murphy is in space this time, trying to save his night club from evil gangsters played by beloved character actors, with the assistance of some beloved character actors. Also, Randy Quaid is involved. Will Eddie Murphy save his nightclub? Will the Pauls find something to love about this lazy, fat chil...
Jan 22, 2019•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 170
Things are so hectic right now! No sooner had Paul G returned from his guru retreat in Wisconsin, than Paul S decided to go find himself in Reykjavik. Never mind, all done that one, pop the kettle on, it's good to be home. But also get us out of here. It's time to talk about Eat Pray Love! Featuring: Beautiful Richard Jenkins from Texas, London Style Sex, Cruddy Billy Crudup, a rubbish guru, entitlement (?), hungover Julia Roberts, Ass to Cake action, and Paul's impressions of India! ogtpod@gmai...
Jan 14, 2019•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 169
Dearest Felicity, The howling grows louder each night. I've bolted the door against the night, but can take no comfort. I hear it jabbering incoherently at the windows. Its foul stench lies heavily over the kennels. It's a thing of slime, I'm sure of it. Shadows and slime. It shall come for me again tonight. Perhaps I shall not wake when it finds me. Perhaps such mercies exist. Forever Yours, Bullingdon Specialcock III P.S. Movie 43 is fucking awful. ogtpod@gmail.com https://ogtpod.podbean.com h...
Jan 08, 2019•1 hr 19 min•Ep. 168
NOTE: A strange audio fault means that Paul Goodman's audio sounds as though he's appearing via the medium of a terrible vinyl record. Apologies, all will be well next week. Happy New Year! It's a special episode, just for you and our other listeners (but mainly you). The Pauls are in the UK together and take the opportunity to really knuckle down and make the best episode they've ever JUST KIDDING! It's a clip show. But new clips! Clips cut from previous episodes because they were too personal ...
Jan 03, 2019•1 hr•Ep. 167
One Hundred episodes and a bit! It's been one or two years, and the Pauls are celebrating by doing what they do best: masturbatory self scrutiny! We're reviewing our first episode, talking our top and bottom films we've watched for the show and take questions from our beloved audience. We also find plenty of time to affectionately berate each other and themselves. Featuring: Herzdog, Paul in a well, poor preparation, Andy Dingobaby, audio problems, a whole bunch of singing, a lightening round, a...
Dec 25, 2018•1 hr 26 min•Ep. 166
Joy to the world and jingle all the way to infinity, because the Pauls are galloping to the 100-episode mark as if pulled by several magical deer or chased by one Dan Aykroyd angrily shaking a crystal skull. Let us take a break from finding the good in bad movies and settle down in front of a lovely Christmas moviethon with the family. Go on, Mum... unwrap the DVD you bought me on this festive day, don't even tell me what it was. I trust you, Mum. Ever since you brought me into this wo– CHRISTMA...
Dec 18, 2018•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 165
Meow, it's all cats this week. The Pauls tackle one of the most infamous superhero films of all time and ask the immortal question: did Halle Berry deserve that Razzie, eventually concluding: maybe. Strap yourselves in, this ride is off the line! Featuring: Offensive imitations of a cat accent, a lovely drawing of Gotham City by Pitof (age 6), ethnic music, an editing maze, rubbish looking cats, low intensity parkour, Forrest Gump, Non Cassel Pas and Byron Mann, just. ogtpod@gmail.com https://og...
Dec 11, 2018•57 min•Ep. 164
For centuries the two nations of Paul lived in harmony. They were big benders and they loved it. But then the visionary avatar came and ruined the whole bloody lot. Now the Pauls have to watch an M. Night Shyamalan film again and find all the good bits. Whatever happened to good old bending? Featuring: Benders, the secret to enjoying cinemas, Udo Kier and his wretched son, iCarly star Sir Lawrence Olivier, Arng, Super Sokka, the flammable fire lord, Secret Statham, The Drill Nation Dance Group, ...
Dec 04, 2018•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 163
This week the Pauls return with a concept as pure as the thing they're talking about to talk about! That's right, for anyone still unsure, we are a film podcast, so we actually have to discuss the thing itself occasionally. That's this. In here. Come on. There's a seat with your name on it. Pure coincidence though. You don't OWN the cinema, Geoffrey. Featuring: Nolan's eggy bin, beautiful trash bot, bad luck Joel, Paul's best Michael Caine impression yet, Master Dilks and Susan. ogtpod@gmail.com...
Nov 27, 2018•1 hr 27 min•Ep. 162
MANOS! Hear our exhaultation to you, mighty lord of terrible movies! Bestow upon us terrible performances, hilarious editing, and a thousand inexplicable decisions. We ask of this of you, oh Manos. Reward our intreped exploration of the trash of cinematic history with a gem of inadvertant comedy genius. Thy will be done, thy will be done, thy will be done. Featuring: Terrible audio from a Paul, your badass gran, goatboy, surprise beauty contests, baby Peter Travers, exclusive audio of awkward si...
Nov 20, 2018•56 min•Ep. 161
The Pauls delve deep again into the inferno of Nicholas Cage. This time they shan't emerge until they take on the Cage Rage itself and decide once and for all if Nick Cage is indeed a good actor. Along the way they review possibly his craziest role to date! Are we getting through to you, Alva? (and the rest of you?) Featuring: a brand new accent, subtle office politics, David Foster Niles Crane, Our Leary with dear old Mr Cage, let's-have-sex face, the toughest plot recap yet, cheapies, URGH, an...
Nov 13, 2018•57 min•Ep. 160
Double, Double Toil and Trouble; Renner Burn and Arterton Bubble! Fillet of Pauly Snake, in the podcast boil and bake. Eye of Sean and toe of Phil, wool of Ellen and Beard of Baby. For a film of powerful trouble, like a hell-broth boil and bubble. Featuring: Pleather, Shakespeare with injections, violence, optional sexual assault, morals, the sugar sickness (?), lots of jokes we don't hear each other make, a big bibliography boy, and a movie that you all have to see. Skip to 1:09:20 for that. Se...
Nov 06, 2018•1 hr 18 min•Ep. 159
Bwahaha bitches. It's travelling time... to the episode where Paul Salt shows Paul Goodman every single Elm St. movie from the original run and says "so what did you think?" in the style of a West Coast exec producer. Turns out he said a lot, and Paul Salt said a lot in return. It's prime time, bitch! Bitch bitch bitch. He says it a lot. Guess which Paul is writing this. Happy Halloween! Featuring: Good Accent segment, Creepy Corner, great nun stuff, Sir Ben Kingsley, liquid meta and a right old...
Oct 30, 2018•2 hr 22 min•Ep. 158
