3 Ways to Stop Feeling Stuck and Start Turning Your Life Around & How to Break Free From the Noise

to where I am. And listening to this episode, I really feel so connected to that purpose. I think this was one of my favorite interviews I ever did. It was in my friend Tom Belieu. I think the questions you ask were so powerful, and I hope that you get to hear answers in here that support your journey to find it, your passion, to finding your purpose, to having meaningful relationships. So I can't wait for you to listen to this one, share it, absorb it, pass it on.

Thank you so much. Often the advice I give to people today is fast forward where you are, look at yourself in ten, fifteen, twenty years time and ask yourself the question is that where I want to be and if the answers no, then you need to find a new part to just get to understand yourself. You don't know what you need in your life until you figure out who you are. Everybody welcome to impact theory. You will hear, my friends, because you believe that human potential

is nearly limitless. But you know that having potential is not the same as actually doing something with it. So our goal with this show and company is to introduce you to the people and ideas that will help you actually execute on your dreams. All right, Today's guests. As a former monk whose wisdom has truly gone viral. After finishing business school, he turned down lucrative offers from prestigious companies,

shaved his head, and hit the road. For three years, he traveled across India, Europe and England, living as a monk, studying, meditating, and building food and shelter programs for those in need.

He was definitely in love with what he was doing, but he knew that it didn't scale, so, driven by a desire to share what he was learning with as many people as possible, he re engaged with the world and dove headfirst into learning about the tools and techniques that might allow knowledge to spread as fast as entertainment, and to that end, he joined Accenture, helping them build their digital division while learning about the forces shaping the

new digital landscape. He learned fast and quickly became their number one social media influencer in a company of four hundred thousand people. Along the way, he also helped advise over one hundred and fifty executives on their personal brands, allowing him a very broad base with which to test his theories and leveraging what he learned. In twenty sixteen, he launched his own Facebook page and it exploded in

less than twelve months. His inspiring, entertaining and highly useful videos garnered over one billion views, and now he has north of two point five million followers globally. He makes content not only for his own pages, but for places like The Huffington Post, and he has interviewed such luminaries as Tim Ferris, Simon Sinek, doctor Shafali, Deepak Chopra, and

countless others. In the wake of his ridiculous level of success as both a content creator and digital strategist, he was named to Forbes thirty under thirty list in twenty seventeen. The Asian Media Awards named his blog Best Blog in twenty sixteen, and he was added to National Geographics Chasing Genius Counsel, for which he is now helping to source solutions to some of the world's greatest challenges. So please help me in welcoming the urban Monk himself, the man

who is proving that you really can scale impact. Jay Shetty here man, thanks for having me, truly an honor. Oh man, thank you. It goes both ways. So, as I was telling you before we started rolling in my research, like I normally just go watch all the interviews that people have done, and I've come across you like a million times in researching other people. So I thought, oh, this would be the easiest thing ever. Like this guy

have been interviewed a hundred times and you haven't. Like it's insane to me, Like you're pumping out so much content. Nobody's napped you up yet. So this is gonna be really fun to really go deep. Your ideas are clearly very well thought through, so this should be a lot of fun. Thank you, man. Yeah, I'm patient, yes, patient of having the right interviews, the right time being with the right people having it be framed correctly. So I'm very on it to be. I'm a huge fan of

the show. Thanks, thank you so much for having me. Yeah, absolutely so. One thing I want to talk about, obviously having lived in London, knowing a little bit about what it's like to grow up as an Indian kid in England, how on earth did you buck the trend of you once said, growing up in an Indian household, you're either a doctor or a lawyer, or a failure. Yeah that's right, So how like, how do you not fall prey to that? Yeah? Those are my three option. That was it. There was

no fourth option. So according to my parents, family, or the community I grew up in, I'm a failure And how did I buck the trend? I was really really fortunate that very early on I started to experiment with what mattered to me. Sometimes I got me in a lot of trouble. What people don't know about me is that I was suspended from school three times for trying out all sorts of things, like things that people would never imagine if someone who goes on to be a monk.

I was experimenting with all the drugs in the world. I had multiple relationships. I was really trying to search for some sort of meaning fulfillment. And as far as long as I've known, I've been chasing thrill. I really value thrill and feeling like my Nazi that coming. Yeah, no, not many people do. It's it's very different. From fourteen to eighteen, I was like this kid who just wanted to find new things out, and my parents' rhetoric would

always be, will make sure you get good grades. And I used to think, well, if I can be bad and get good grades and then then it all works right, everyone's happy. So that's kind of what I did. And at eighteen, I was really fortunate when I met a monk, and this monk was invited to speak, and I kind of just went because one of my friends forced me to. At that time, I was listening to CEOs and entrepreneurs and business people and marketers who I thought that's what

I was aspiring to be like. And then I hear this monk and he captivated me like no one had ever captivated me before. It was like staring at the most beautiful woman on the planet, you know. I was completely fixated on him and his message and that is the beginning, without me going into too much detail before we probe that was the beginning of what changed me because I went from being someone who did only want all those things to become success as for and trying to.

But I started hearing my own inner voice much more in all that noise that I had around me. I remember one of my parents had a mass tutor for me because they wanted to be amazing at mass and I was pretty good at numbers, and I'd have this tutor and he'd tell me that he goes the reason that you're struggling with the next question is because you're always worried about what your parents think. And that really

stayed in my head. I was just like, Wow, so as long as I'm trapped by what my parents think, I can actually never find the answers to the real questions of life. And there are all these little things happening. I lost two great friends when I was sixteen. One girl died in a car accident. One guy died because he was involved in drugs and violence. That made me

rethink everything. I just thought to myself, wait a minute, these were beautiful people, people that I loved, people that in my opinion were good people, and I just lost them in a moment, and it was kind of like this collation of little things that just made me think, wait a minute, having money, having fame, this that just doesn't seem to add up. And then meeting the monk kind of made that shift possible. And as I said,

he was completely captivating. And then I found out that he'd given up jobs in Google and Microsoft to be a monk, and I thought to myself, who does that? You know, he's given up everything that I'm chasing and that all my friends are chasing. But he seems happier than anyone I've ever met before. And he spoke about this incredible principle where he said that we should plant trees under whose shade we do not plan to sit, and he was speaking about this principle of selfless sacrifice,

and that kind of just penetrated me right there. When he said the words selfless sacrifice, for the first time in my life, I felt a thrill about something that had never felt before. I thought, Wow, giving up everything you have for the service of others sounds like the best thing you could possibly do. And I don't know why I had that thought, because I wasn't a spiritual kid growing up. I wasn't a religious kid growing up.

I wasn't even a good kid growing up. I was just a rebel, a misfit, trying things out, an experimental which I still consider myself. And so what I started to do is I was interning at companies and firms and corporates, thinking I was getting a grad job afterwards. And then I'd spend the rest of my summer holidays interning in India living with him as a monk. So I'd use all my summer and Christmas holidays to just

be out there with the monks. And he introduced me to another two hundred to five hundred monks that were just like him, just as smart, just as bright, giving up everything they had and using all their skills to make the world a better place. I want to go back. So why that resonated with you? Which is really surprising. So and maybe you're just, you know, so far ahead of where I was at the time, But that would

have sounded absurd to me at that time. Did you already have a sense of unease that like I'm a rebel without a cause, or like, what was it about that moment? And you seem very aware of yourself. So I'm hoping that some of that awareness is present. Then, like, what was that moment? I believe the moment. I've always had friends who are older than me, and I could see a lot of them in the most successful careers,

successful jobs, beautiful partners, whatever it was. But I saw a sense of lack of fulfillment, meaning and purpose in their lives. And I've always been an observer and I would see these people are like five years older than he's seven years older than me, maybe ten years older than me, and I'd be watching them and go, is

that the life I want? And often the advice I give to people today is fast forward where you are look at yourself in ten, fifteen, twenty years time and ask yourself the question, is that where I want to be. If you're in a company, look at the person who's twenty years ahead of you and ask yourself, is that where I want to be? If you're in a startup, look at where other startups have got too in similar role, and go is that where I want to be? And if the answer is no, then you need to find

a new path. And for me, the answer at that time from observing was no the path that my parents or society, or the university I went to, or the community I had that was carving out for me. It didn't feel like the path for me. So I was almost seeking an alternative or a new path. I was just so fortunate that it happened to be an uplifting, powerful path as opposed to something that could have actually taken me down the wrong road, because that could have

been possible too. So walk me through the first time you step after plane in India, it's summer, and so I'm living there. I'm waking up, I'm almost doing all the practices, just as if you were shadowing a CEO. I'm just shadowing a monk, and so I'm just shadowing his lifestyle. So we wake up. He's like one of the most elite monks. So we're waking up at like two am every day after sleeping at like nine or

ten pm. And then we study these ancient vaders which are five thousand plus years old together and we spend two hours and I'm studying with the best of the best here so he can analyze and assimilate and I'm learning fast taking notes. Than four am, we go to collective meditation. We do those actuses with the other monks as well. Six am, we have personal meditation. So I'm literally going through the life of a monk and falling in love with it step by step, going wow, I've

never had this experience before. I just drew myself in and I was practicing it to the t right. It wasn't like, oh, no, my back hurts when I sit on the floor, I can't stay it for too long, or you know, today when people are like, oh, I can't meditate for longer than two minutes, I was like, no, I'm going to do it for two hours. If that's what they're doing, I'm going to give it a go because I can only test the hypothesis will only be true if the experiment is carried out to the degree

that they are. So if the hypothesis is if you live like this, you'll are happy, more fulfilled, then I want to do that, all right. So let's explore this then through the lens of creating one's own perfect life. Yes, which is pretty interesting, especially interesting because I think this is so accurate to the way that most people are. It's not like, oh, there's some grand missing thing in my life. But you took that first action. So cart if I this for me or for anybody that wants

they don't know what their ideal life looks like. They just know that they're not living it yet. So step number one is take it seriously to find out if their hypothesis is true or not. You have to take the experiment, You have to do it sincerely. What comes after that, I think even one step before that is opening yourself up to new role models and new experiences. See, we live in echo chambers. We're just surrounded by the same thinking. How often do you bump into a monk?

You know, it just doesn't happen, You don't have No one has a dinner party and goes, oh, yeah, we just invited the monk, you know, from down like the local monk. Like no one ever does that. And so we meet people who are just like us most of the time. And we talk about this in business all the time. If you want to be a billionaire, spend time with billionaires. If you want to be a millionaire, spent time a millionaires. If you want to be a tech startup, spend time with you know. That's the common

retoric that we hear all the time. But what if you want to find purpose a master the mind. There's no one better than a monk who's master the mind. So for me, the first step is just opening yourself up to new experiences and new role models. Because most of us can't see ourselves in people, so then we try and fit ourselves into the boxes that we do see. And and I mean, there's this beautiful quote that I've been saying it everywhere, and I wish I wrote it,

but I didn't. So it's by a philosopher and writer named Truly, and he said that today, I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am. Right, and just let that blow your mind from it's it's so powerful. I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am. So we live in this perception of a perception of ourselves. Hence, my identity is

made by what my parents think I should be. My identity is made up by what my college or university thinks I should achieve. While you're living in that bubble and that echo chamber, getting to what you really want to do is impossible because maybe that just doesn't fit. And I think so many people feel that way today, that they don't fit into the current education system. They don't fit with the three or four or five careers that you're taught exist. So that process of self excavation

and actualization first requires being exposed. You can't be what you can't see. If I never saw a monk, I would never have wanted to be a monk. If I never meet a billionaire, I wouldn't want to be one because I wouldn't know what that feels like. I don't know what it looks like. I don't know what it takes. And I think that's the biggest challenge of our society that we're not exposed. So that's the first step, being

exposed to unique experiences and role models. Second step is finding that experience or role model that you're passionate about and exactly like you said, taking it seriously. Shadow their network with them, spend time with them, observe them, even from afar. It takes that observation, being addicted to a deserving that person's lifestyle. And then the third step is

going yes or no, does that work for me? Not everyone who's going to go off and become a monk is going to feel like the way I did, and that's cool. But not everyone is going to go and follow and shadow a billionaire god. That's exactly the lifestyle I want. They may want the result, but do they want the hard work that goes with it? And so

for me, that's the third step. It's observing, focusing, shadowing, getting as close to the process of that individual, and then going yes or no, do I want that process? Not do I want the result. Everyone wants to be that monk who's fully enlightened, you know, can walk through as an incredible aura that people just gravitate towards. But when you realize he has to wake up at two am every day and steeps about four to six hours, you're like, ah, you know, I don't want to do that.

That doesn't sound like me. All right, So ye go a couple of things. One, you said, he's as powerful as he is, fine power for me, power being. So from a month perspective, the greatest power is to be self controlled, to be able to train the mind and energy to focus it exactly where you want it and when you want it to be. You are completely detached

and undeterred from external ups and downs. You're able to navigate anything that seems tough, challenging, fun, excitement with the same amount of being equipoised and balanced in equantimity, without being too excited in pleasure or being too depressed in pain, but knowing how to navigate every situation. To me, that's great strength and great power. I heard in one of your talks you were saying that if you look at a literal lifeline, a heartbeat, for instance, you know it's

it's up and it's down. And people have this sense that something like enlightenment would be that the equanimity forever and just then even keel And you said, but what does that resemble? It resembles a flatline when you die. Correct,

So what is it like? What I love about you as you sort of went into the wilderness of being a monk, but you've brought it back to the real world because when you talk about a monkey, talk about them being detached, and that to me seems like the only real way to have that sort of super even

keel existence, which is not appealing to me personally. So if you're bringing back that notion of power of having control over yourself, not letting your emotions take you everywhere, but knowing that life is the series of ups and downs. What does that power look like when it's brought back? Absolutely, And actually that's the whole aim of monk training. It's more like a training system than it is a lifelong commitment. It is bringing that mindset into the real world where

you get to test it. Now. I got to do that for real when I left being a monk around five years ago. And when i left it was like, oh my god, I'm in the real world now again, real world. I have to think about how to apply all this I'm going to test for real, all this stuff that I've learned, and I was scared, like I was nervous. I was anxious in all those things that I've been trained not to be rushed back because for the first time in my life, I had to really

put it into practice. And I love that feeling. I'm so glad that I had to do that. So for me, actually, the mindset is completely trainable to bring into the real world. That's what I'm trying to do. And what it allows you to do is it allows you to grain clarity and perspective when you need it, because you know, when you can just take a bird's eye view from something, you know when you need to get close into something, you know when you need to pull back from something.

There's a beautiful verse in the bugwad Gita that says that detachment is not that you own nothing. Detachment is that nothing owns you. And I love it because to me, that summarizes detachment in a way that it's not usually explained. Usually people see detachment as being away from everything. Actually, the greatest detachment is being close to everything and not letting it consume and own you. And that's real power,

that's real strength. How many people do we know that have had fai and then that fame has ruined them. So for me, that definition of detachment is possible to practice even in the real world. Rather than saying, Oh, I'm just gonna have a really simple life, I'm just gonna have nothing in life. What was the best part about being a monk? The best part about being a monk is that your morning routine and practices are so powerful that you can actually aspire for more incredible values

in life because your mind is clear. Because your mind is clear and you have that ability to have more clarity so you can seek that which is which is higher. So I'll give an example of what I mean to define, is that we're about to define what is higher. Yes, exactly, So for me, being able to overcome ego, being able to overcome envy, being able to overcome jealousy, being able to overcome the negative of competitive state, there's a positive

competitive state and there's a negative competitive state. Today when people are looking on Instagram or Facebook or YouTube, all you're looking at is oh, she got that many likes, or he got that many likes, she got engaged, or he got married, or oh my god, look at her body, or look at that, and it's like that stuff's destroying

us inside. Envy, jealousy, ego, greed. To be able to have enough clarity to purify yourself of those things is going to alleviate the biggest anxieties and depressions of our time and mental health problems. And we know that. We know that because all the mental health resets today suggests that things like isolation overexposure, we now can have more pain consumption in one day because of what we're exposed to than the pain we would have had in a lifetime.

That's huge, stress, anxiety, overwhelm, burnout. What do all of these have in common? And of perceived control over your time, thoughts, and tasks? But what if I told you fixing all of these problems is as simple as fixing your mindset towards them. I know, not simple at all. Everyone's busy, everyone's stress, but we could all use more calm in our lives, and learning to stay grounded and grateful is

truly a daily practice. That's why I've partnered with Calm dot com to bring you the Daily J. If you've ever wanted to meditate with me and take back control over your busy mind, join me on the car map for the Daily J, a daily guided meditation where I'll help you find calm in the chaos, plant beautiful intentions for a happy, abundant life and simple steps for positive actions to get you closer to the life of your dreams.

Meditate with me by going to Calm dot com forward slash jay to get forty percent off a Calm Premium membership that's only forty two dollars for the whole year for daily guided meditations. Experience the Daily jy only on can that's ridiculous to think that one day, because of the media, news and social media, we consume more negative

than we did in a lifetime. For me, being able to have time, energy, and clarity to focus on self purification that is the best thing about being a monk, because you have that time reflection, and a process and an environment that only allows you to become more purified of those things. So if I was the interviewer that I wanted to be able to have asked you this question when we were on the topic. But I'm going

to go back to this is important enough. You gave us the three ways that you can really construct your ideal life, but define an ideal life for me. So in an ideal life for me is a life, and this applies to a company, an organization, and institution for me is an ideal life is when we all have a head, a heart, and a hand or three elements together working in alignment. Without one or the other, we start to lose something. If you only have a head

and a heart, you'll find that life is stable and define. Yeah, sure, sure, sure sure. So a head is the clarity of vision. What you want, what you want, knowing what you want the way you picture life and being able to navigate and make the decisions to get there. That's a good head. A good heart is being able to understand what your intuition and heart wants, being able to connect and tap into that understanding deeper and beyond the vision you may

have painted for yourself. So I often say to people that you'll get to where you want in life, just not in the way you imagined. And that's because the path that's paved up and down is far different to the path we pave. So you can have a great head and a great vision and a great mission and know where you want to go. But if your heart's not able to have that resilience and be able adapt and have compassion and care and all of that, then you're not going to be able to make the toughest

decisions without your heart. But to be able to realize that we need to care and be sustainable and long lasting requires a heart and a hand. Is that service, wanting to pass that on, that which you have, wanting to give it forward, pay it forward, the idea of serving with what you have. I often say to people, your passion is for you, Your purpose is for others. Your passion makes you happy. But when you use your passion to make a difference in someone else's life, that's

a service. That's a purpose, and that's the hand. So those are my three elements of an ideal life. I like that a lot and when you first said it, and I'm glad you to find it because when you first said it, I thought the heart was going to be the part about, like you know, just compassion and caring for others, doing something for other people. But I like that the hand being tied to service. So one thing that I think a lot about is deep fulfillment. Like really, when I think about, okay, what is a

life we're living? Honestly, it comes down to neurochemistry for me, and it comes down to experiencing this world in a way that optimizes for for sustainable pleasure, which I'll differentiate between a bowl of ice cream a bump of cocaine. Those are pleasurables and I haven't done the cocaine, but the ice cream I can speak for good, so I'll trust that it's it holds up. But they don't bring

a lasting fulfillment. It's not sustainable, right, So both of them end up creating this self destructive loop and purpose really does become that thing that gives you something that is on a neurochemical level deeply satisfying. And how much of this like how did you marry the deeply spiritual the often abstract. Oftentimes I'll hear spiritual speakers talk and I them sort of drifting off under the ether. How did you marry that? To experimentation, neuroscience, practicality like one,

why do you find that interesting? And then to what are you doing with her? So I studied behavioral science at university. So I've always been fascinated by why people do what they do. And whenever I was reading these books that are five thousand years old, my greatest fascination was finding a principle and finding its relevance in modern science. And I said to myself, the day I can't find that, I'll quit. I won't believe in this anymore. So I'm

still doing that, and I'm ready to quit. If someone shows me a piece of science and I can't find a principle in these ancient literatures or actually what I like to call these timeless literatures, then I'll give up my faith because for me, it has to track forward, and I'll give you a brially basic example. Today we're

in the gratitude movement. There's like a million gratitude journals out there, there's a million scientific studies on gratitude, and gratitude has been linked to better mental health, self for awareness, better relationships. I mean, there's so many scientific studies on the neuro level that shows that gratitude is great for your mind, brain and fulfillment. Now I look back, gratitude

is all over the time, this wisdom. One of the first things we were trained to do when we were a monk was to pay our respects to the earth for what it gives us. And you do that first thing in the morning. What is that if not gratitude. When you wake up in the morning, you thank the earth for the food, You thank the earth for the water, You thank the earth for allowing yourself to walk. You start your day with gratitude today. The biggest tip on

Forbes and Ink and everything is start your day with gratitude. Like, where does it come from? It's it's right there. These things are old. So I get fascinated. I'm intrigued by the parallels and patterns because it saves you time. It's the same way as which if I say that this business person got invested by this company and that's why they're successful because they had the right investors, etc. That's

a pattern. So I know, if I'm building a business in that area, I'm going to look for en messages like that. It's the same thing that Patton saves you time rather than you trying to figure out does gratitude work? How shall I be grateful? Creating your own process almost It's really interesting. Life has taught me to stop believing everything I think, and the way that it's taught me that is by relentlessly punishing me every time I overinvest in being right. And I remember when my wife and

I first got together. She used to get chest infections all the time, and she told me it's because of the AC and I was like, that doesn't make sense, and she was like, no, no no, no. My grandmother used to just swear up and down if you're hot and you stand in front of a fan, that you're going to get sick. And I was like, that is the biggest load of like crap I've ever heard my life. That does not make sense. Like getting sick comes from

either bacteria or virus, like it's that simple. And she was like, I'm just saying it's my grandma always had and it seems true to me. And I was just like, oh, this is exhausting. And then one time I went to a doctor and I was like, yeah, and my wife is crazy and thinks that when you're hot, if you stand in front of ac it'll make you sick. And he goes, oh, yeah, she's right, and I was like hold on, and he was like, well, she's sort of right. He's like, this is what's happening. You have a mucous

layer membrane in your throat. That's it keeps it moist, keeps germs from being able to break the breakthrough the barrier, and so they get trapped, they go to your stomach, they're killed by the acid or whatever. And he said, but if you get a crack in that, then the bacteria virus can actually get into your bloodstream and that's how you get sick. And it's just drying her throat out and I was like whoa. And it was one of those moments where I was like, how many wives

tales are true? Like directionally, they're not accurate, but they're true. If you see what I mean, yes, and so that's how I think when you think of a book that's lasted as long as it has. And I know you and I we've never talked about this, but we share a real fascination for storytelling because it's a way to convey an idea that resonates emotionally and allows people to carry it on and pass it on. And obviously this all starts long before we have science and can prove

any of this, but we see the patterns. We need a way to encapsulate the pattern. We encapsulate it in a story. The story is in and of itself totally fake, but now in a modern context we're getting lost in that the story is fake, even though the take home message is incredibly powerful. Yes, and so as I mean, it's the classic story. Right. The more you learn, the

less you realize, you know. And just as I've gotten older and really started to understand the stuff and read as much as I do and quite frankly live and suffer and go through things like my wife having microbiome issues and at first thinking her all of her descriptions make absolutely no sense. And then you stop passing a judgment on it and start saying what if everything she's saying is actually true, Like how would we treat it? Then? Right?

And so there is something really fascinating there. Now I find myself I'm way more emotionally drawn to the science because when I can picture it, I have a much easier time doing something about it. So when you were talking about the things that you learned from meditation, I've gotten tremendous value out of meditation, but it's nothing like

what you've learned. So for me, it was once I understood that diaphragm breathing made sense because it triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, then because I understood it, it it like was the understanding becomes a force multiplier absolutely. All right, let's talk about behavioral science self awareness. Watching your content, which have you ever looked at how much content you've

put out? It's a lot, dude, Like when you search your name like to go because I normally try to watch like basically everything, and I was like, I give up. It's just it's really incredible. And going through that stuff, it seems really clear to me that you have massive self awareness. And what would you say, like, is a is there a process for people to gain more self awareness. And then what are from a behavioral you know, human behavior level, what are things that trip up the average person?

First answer, I mean, I'm a huge fan of the book Thinking Fast and Slow. I don't know how if you've read it, Yeah, it's a great book because for me, it's got a really close pattern connection again to what I studied. So just understanding system one and system two. If anyone watching hasn't read it, I highly recommend it. Just being able to differentiate between system one and system two, as Daniel Kahman calls it in the Vedic Philosophy wily

call differentiating between the mind and the intelligence. Knowing how to differentiate of the voices in your head is the first level of self awareness. So breakdown what system one and system two are. Absolutely, it's a System one is your initial response to anything that happens. It's a stop that I can't really say. So if you say something I don't like, my system one naturally would be a face that I pull that I don't agree with. That. That's an understanding of what system one in. It's your

initial default reaction in the moment that can be positive. Often, for example, if someone pulls out a knife. You feel scared and you run that System one. That's a good thing. It's safe for you. But also system one is someone says something that hurts your ego and you start defending yourself immediately. That's also that's a negative of system one that we would refer to as the mind. It's built up of conditioning. Those responses are conditioned, those default elements

are all there because of habit and continuous practice. The system two is more like the intelligence. What I would say is more like the parent. If you can consider system one to be more like a child, system two is more like a parent. It looks more at the long term, It looks more at the bigger picture. It processes that default reaction through a set of checking and

metrics to decide whether that's true. The child is the one that wants everything right away, impatient, quickly responding straight away, reacting when it doesn't get what it wants. The intelligent parent, a good one, knows what the child wants and needs and what's better for it in the long term. Just starting there and being able to reflect and observe the different voices inside of us is a great place to

start yourself awareness. Because the biggest challenge is that most of us don't know what we're listening to, and we don't most of us don't even know that there are more than one voice inside of us. Just getting over that line is a huge win because now at least you're trying to differentiate within what you're hearing, and that's going to help you make better decisions in the future. So that was answer one, Does that answer your question? And second one was so that's awareness? How can what

are like typical things that trip people up? That? So in your answer, just now it's like, okay, if you want to become more aware, just know that those two things are happening. Right, You're gonna have an initial response and then one that's more calculated. Now be aware of these two or three things that are also coming for you. The biggest challenge is that there's just so much noise. It's like, have you ever had someone in your home? Maybe it's your wife, or maybe it's a friend or whatever.

Just play a really bad song too often? Right, just playing a song that you really don't actually heard my wife laugh because she knows how guilty. All right, Okay, there you go, right, there you go, and you just play a song and just thinking, I turn that off, and after a while, it's been on for so long that you become immune to it, like it's just there and it's still on. It's there in the back of your mind, and you didn't manage to turn it off.

So the noise that I describe in life, whether it's your parents' expectations, whether it's society's expectations, whether it's your partner's expectations, all of those are like noise in the background, and that noise drowns out your ability to understand the mind and the intelligence. That's one of the biggest trip ups I was looking at. I gave a presentation called build a Life, Not a Resume. It's also one of my popular videos, but very good video. Thank you man,

Thank you so much. And when I did the research, so you don't see this in the video because this research didn't make it into the video, but the research that I was doing was around the most common resume live The truth is over forty to fifty percent of us lie on our resumes. Yeah, if you don't, you're missing an opportunity. I'll just say that, Yeah, there you go, right, So, and I started to dig deeper, and I was looking at you know, a lot of people lie about their

dates and employment. So instead of three days, it's now three months, you know, whatever it may be. Now, I dug deeper and I wanted to meet some of these people and speak to people. And so I spoke to people who lie on their resumes, and we know that at least forty to fifty percent tell us they do. No. The thing is, no one was proud of that, no one. No one was like, yeah, yeah, I know, I'm going to get. Really, what it came down to is we're

really insecure about our own abilities. Really, what it came down to is we're not confident about what we have to offer. What it came down to is a lack of self awareness. What it came down to is a lack of understanding what am I good at, what am I passionate about, what am I bringing to the table. That's what people were really worried about. They were worried about the job. But when you dug beneath the surface, the real behavioral trait that was coming out was insecurity

and being unconfident about one's potential. That that tells us a lot. That indicates a lot about human behavior and human nature. That the noise from outside makes us want to fit into a container, and that stops us from differentiating between what is my mind saying and what is my intelligence saying. And what happens is that noise becomes your voice, so that noise becomes what you think is what you're saying. And most people don't realize that until

ten twenty thirty years down the line. How the hell do you figure out? So your analogy is great songs on you don't even realize is there anymore? It becomes total white noise. You're oblivious to it. In fact, you'll only notice it if it gets turned off. Correct, So how do they identify that? Like you, you you have a process for that. How do you hear the thing that you no longer hear so that you can shut it off? Yeah? Absolutely.

One of the biggest ones, and we say this all the time, but it applies mostly to this is switching your association. Is switch association to people? Let you hang out, right, It's like changing your circle because if you're only hearing the same thing from that circle, the only way to turn it off with out you having to do mass amounts of reflection is changing your circle where you start hearing, we all ultimately find the things we want to hear, right,

we know that, all right? So I created like a little piece of content for Alexa where I was like, Okay, what are the four questions that you can ask to get because you and I use different words, but I think we're saying the same thing. So I call them invisible beliefs beautiful. So everybody has invisible beliefs. They're they're controlling your life, and the only way to get them to stop controlling your life is actually figure out what they are. And so I gave four questions that two

of them I just straight stole from Albert Einstein. And it's the most important decision every person will make in their life is whether they live in a friendly or a hostile universe. So just make it a question, right, do you live in a friendly or a hostile universe? And so the point and I'll go through all four, but the point was that if you ask these four questions, and they're just the tip of the iceberg, but if you ask these four questions, you're going to begin to

identify your frame of reference. Basically, just trying to get people to frame themselves is either optimistic or pessimistic, which I think is sort of the big ham handed like, first thing you need to become aware of. So first, um, do you live in a hostile or friendly universe? Another Einstein one? Is everything a miracle? Or is nothing a miracle? Right? Because you get to choose, So neither one of those is objectively real, but you pick, and it's really going

to color how you love it. Yeah, And then number three, can you do anything you set your mind to without limitation? Or are there certain things you can't comprehend? And then number four I'm forgetting right now, so I won't waste time because you get the Yeah, I get it. I love them brilliant questions. So what like they're woefully incomplete, So what could we add to that that would really bring this home for people? So if that gets them

optimistic pessimistic? What other at a really high level, what are other things that people could immediately switch or in fact would immediately switch if they change, you know, the people that they're hanging around. But like, let's really get real about what some of those things are. So optimism, pessimism, what else? So for me, there's two questions that I had to ask myself that that really changed what I do. One of my big questions is what advice would I

give to my younger self. It's huge because I think that's the stuff that we regret, that's the stuff that we wish we were doing. That's the stuff that has been lost in the noise. When you ask someone what advice would you give to you a younger self? The number one answer is I wish I studied this, I wish I tried this out. I wish I gave this a go. You know, those are the all things that somebody didn't do. Yeah, it's all things that things people

didn't do. It's always like something that either should have started or didn't continue. And that's really tapping into someone's voice, right, that's really tapping into what someone really wants to do. And you're going way beyond just like, oh what do you like? What are you passionate about? So hard to answer that sometimes, especially if you're drowning. Does that add to your questions or not? What's really interesting? Now? I

need to know what your answer was. So I used to be I used to do a lot of spoken word. When I grew up, I read the dictionary. I read the thesaurus. I loved language. That's what I was fascinated by, and for some reason I gave it up. Then I found out about monk life. They came a monk. And then almost back ten years on, at twenty eight, I was going I asked myself that question, and my answer was,

I miss words, I miss expressiveness. I missed sharing a message in stories through incredible language and ideas, potential rhymes, but flow and all of these things. So that was the answer to my question. One of the biggest answers was I wish I never stopped right When did you ask that question? I was actually twenty eight two two years ago. Here's the thing, then, I will tell you right now that your content, your content is like the

modern version of spoken word. So I don't know if that's on purpose or an accident, but like there's an accident. Watching it, I was like, if he is doing this off the cuff, I have to hate myself a little. Yeah. And if he's writing it down, he performs it so well that it feels off the cuff, but it's very impressive. So I'm genuinely touts coming from now. Now here's the thing. Like look, and I love giving compliments when they're real, but more importantly, you compliment the thing that you want

to reinforce in somebody. So you've got a mission. I find it very interesting, which is can we make knowledge my word, I don't remember what word you use, wisdom perfect? So can we make wisdom spread as far and as fast as entertainment? Which is so similar to what I'm

trying to change people's beliefs through entertainment. So I recognize the kindred soul right away, and then just watching the content, I'm like, WHOA like it's I'm not surprised the number of views that you've gotten because it's songs work because they make you feel an emotion, but they also tap into whatever it is about humans, whatever it is that we convey through rhythm. So and before the cameras were

rule and we were talking about it. So the one thing that makes me very uncomfortable I do the same called impact quotes. And impact quotes is the first time where I allowed myself to perform where I'm knowingly I would not say it like this if you and I were standing next to each other, right this is for the camera. I know how it's going to be edited. I know we're going to add music to it, so it is a performance, but it's also some of our

best performing content. So it's like what you were saying earlier about Look, I just accept that not everybody geeks out on neuroscience, and so I have to understand like who my audience is and give them something in a way that will then resonate and go viral. And so I think acknowledging that's really interesting. So anyway, I'm responding just to what you were saying about that, because your life seems to be an echo of that answer. All right, So there's a few more things you have to get.

I'm here, I'm here, I'm I'm loving this and if you're loving it. So there are three questions that you get asked a lot. What are they? The big one is how do I find my passion? Okay, and you can tell me the quote. I need you to answer each one of them. Yeah, but if you want to run through what each of the questions are and then go back, yeah, no, I'll just do them as they are. So how do I find my passion? My simple model, which is the dharma model. It also dharma means eternal

duty in the Vedic tradition. It's very similar to what ikey guys being spoken about today, which is a Japanese version of reason for being? Why do we live? Where is meaning coming from? And it talks about an intersect of four areas. What am I good at? What do I love? What does the world need? And how do I get paid for it? To me, those four help your unlock your passion. When you find the intersect across all of those four, you're making your passion your purpose.

You'll unlock your passion, You'll find your purpose. This is path one. There's two paths. Path one, I find my skill set and I engage it to help other people and become better at it. So I'm becoming better at what I'm good at, and I'm using it to help other people because I'm aware of what I'm quite good at, and I know what knowledge I have, what skills I have. I have some self awareness. The other path that people

often miss, actually I just start serving people. I just start helping people, and I start to notice what I enjoy about that and what I'm good at helping people with. So that's Gandhi's part. Gandhi said that you find yourself when you lose yourself in the service of others. So for me, those are the two paths of how do I find my passion and finding the intersect between those four areas. And the second one is Jay, my relationships

falling apart. I get asked that all the time, So the answer to that is much harder, it's harder to summarize it. But I always start with self actualization that the problem is we have a list for the one that we want, and we don't have a list for what we need to become. And I don't mean become to attract, I mean become to just be, to just get to understand yourself. You don't know what you need in your life until you figure out who you are.

And so I find too many people rush into relationships without really recognizing and being fully aware of what they need from a relationship. So it all comes back to how aware are you? How much understanding do you have of yourself and what you need and what you want. That's my best advice for relationship in like a minute. And then the third question I mostly get asked is Jay, what do you read? Like? What are your favorite books? Because it seems you read a lot, what are your

top three books? They're not groundbreaking in the sense that people may not be like, oh my god, that's the best book I've ever read. For me, they change my life. So that's where I'm coming at a point from I love start with why by sermon sink, and not because I applied it to businesses, because I applied it to my life. And even today, I'm constantly refining my why. That's all I do every day. My deepest morning routine and practice is to refine why I do what I do.

It's so easy for me to now do it for money, It's so easy for me to now do it for followers, it's so easy for me to now do it for fame. And every day I have to refine that because I know, having lived as a monk and what I practice, that if those become what I then I'll forget who I need to be. So my daily practice and my daily routine is refining my intention, which in modern language is why.

So for me, Simon's book helped me do that. The bugwad Geita, which I would love to do for Vedic knowledge, what Ryan's done for Stoicism, and the bugwad geta over five thousand years old, and that book really exemplifies human challenge. Third book, I'd say this one's going to be hard because it's the last one. Let me think I'm gonna try to throw something else in there. So I've done

one like self development, one more spiritual enlightened. Man, let me throw a business book in, seeing as I'm sure you have a lot of business viewyears. I love the book Exponential Organizations. I don't know if you read it by Silly Mischmael and the Singularity University, and that book, for me, is an incredible analysis of this success of all the organizations we see ruling our phone today. The way it breaks down their business models and how they

were created, to me, it's fascinating. So if anyone really wants to start up an exponential business today, then that's where they have to go. And that's when Peter Demandis said that if you want to be a billionaire, redefining it as someone who impacts the lives of a billion people. And that's what that business book is really about, is how do you create an exponential organization that positively impacts a billion people? So those are my three for today.

It's pretty good. Yeah, I've got one more. I want to hear you talk about ease. Oh what are they? Why do they matter? So? For me, my three ease are element, environment, and energy. Everyone has an element that they thrive in. If you take someone out of it their element, they won't be the same. Modern day example would be Michael Jordan. He was incredible at basketball. He took him out of basketball, put him into baseball. No one remembers his career. We're talking about one of the

best athletes of all time. You vi, vironment is the environment around you. You can take a fish out of water and give it a beautiful mansion and a Bentley and all the money in the world, but it will die. And that's what we are. Like our environment. Everyone needs an environment which they thrive, which we have to craft. Your boss, if you're at work, is never going to ask you, hey, what environment do you succeed in? Right? Like that never happens. So we have to create an

environment where we thrive. And then finally it's energy. We some of us love high energy environments, high pressure. Some of us succeed in lower energy environments and low pressure. Figuring out your energy and the frequency on which you operate best will help you thrive as well. So for me, those are the three ease to really create a thriving environment. No your element, No your environment, and know your energy and so on all times. If I see anything going wrong,

I'm going is my element out of alignment? Is my environment out of alignment? Or is my energy out of alignment? And that's a great three question test you can do to yourself when you don't think things are going right, and all you have to do is bring that back into alignment. I love that, all right? Before I ask my last question, where can these guys find you? Online? Absolutely, you can find me in my favorite place for you to find me. If you see the most of his Facebook,

I'm Jay Chett. On Instagram I'm Jay Chatty as well, there's my two basic two best places YouTube as well, Jay Chetti Twitter j Chetti. So it's just yes, Jetty on any platform that you're on, I'm probably there. Awesome, all right. What's the impact that you want to have on the world. I think you've you've you've said it so beautifully so many times and shared my vision, which is wonderful and it's wonderful to know that we share

the same thing. It's making wisdom go viral. There's an incredible study in twenty seventeen that said the most successful people in the world, healthy, wealthy, and wise choose education over entertainment. The impact I want to have from the world is I want to transform and revolutionize the entertainment industry so that it becomes educational without anyone knowing. So

it's still completely entertaining. It's still like watching Netflix, but you're learning about human behavior, the mind, neuroscience, and everything without even knowing you are. To me, that's the greatest win that we can have for our society. How many people are going to quit watching Netflix and reading a book every night, I don't know. But if we can make that book come to life on Netflix, that's going to change the world because that's what people are going

to consume. So for so long media has been used to numb people, to switch people off. If we can use it to excite, elevate, and enlighten people, not by just not by like the cheesy way of like, oh, let's follow someone through their journey of enlightenment. It's not like that kind of stuff. I mean like really entertaining

programming where you can learn by being entertained. At the same time, if I can do that by changing the most powerful industry in the world, then I will feel that I've had some whatever impact because that way, I think we'll reach the world without having to get to change their habits too much. My thing is how do we meet people where they are and and really deliver

a message and a powerful expression of love. And to me, that's the highest form of compassion, the highest form of empathy, love and compassion is to meet people where they already are, rather than expecting them to change. And yeah, that's the impact I'd like to have on the world. So fingers crossed, with your help, with the help of everyone who's watching. You know, it's going to be a team effort. I can't do it on my own. I'm not expecting to.

But yeah, that's that's the impact I'd like to have on the world. That's awesome, incredible, thank you, thank you. All right, guys, I'm telling you, when you look at a tribe of people, everybody has different roles and there's always somebody whose job it is to go out to experience the world to bring back the wisdom in a form that has been digested and made easy for other people to take away. Jay Shetty is that man. Go

watch this content. It is somebody who has gone out into the world, who's been a monk, who's worked at accenture and everywhere in between, and come back with a real ability to explain what is going on. And he does it from a position of not trying to seem smarter than you or better than you, but just that that's his role. Some people are musicians, some people are

the doctors, and some people break down the information. I really think he has unique access to the wisdom as he calls it, to understand what people are trying to encapsulate in the books, modern or ancient, and his ability to articulate that in a way that feels like modern rap, spoken word, whatever you want to think of it as it is in and of itself an artistic creation, so you cannot go wrong diving into it. It is not a mistake that he's had over a billion views in

less than twelve months, which is insanity. So go check his stuff out, hit him up, ask him questions, keep an eye because I think he's going to be one of the greats at really digesting that information. And really helping wisdom go by. All right, guys, if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe. And until next time, my friends be legendary, take care much. Thank you so much for listening to that episode. I hope you enjoyed it. I really really appreciate you being here. We have got some

incredible guests and incredible Friday Solo episodes coming. Please please subscribe so you do not miss out. There are some huge announcements coming, stay tuned. I appreciate you. Thank you so much