This week we're travelling back 3000 years to the ancient Hittite Empire. Lindsay's rebooting Red River/Anatolia Story, an Isekai series from the 90s. She tells Tanner about how it got her hooked on Manga with the powerful character developments, historically badass women, and all her favourite Bronze Age civilizations. The two also discuss reading manga in the wrong direction, the Babylonian receipt archive, and raiding the supermarket for tin. This week's friendship promo is @VREcast! Our cove...
Apr 21, 2019•55 min•Ep. 31
Podcast no jutsu? This week our guest is Linday's brother Ryan, and he's got a tall order for us because he wants to reboot the entirety of Naruto! He and Lindsay are gonna figure out the best ways to stop this from being the bane of Ryan's existence, namely by trimming down the plot, fixing the pacing, and giving more screen time to anyone but Sasuke. They'll also discuss wizarding ninjas, killing Chewbacca in the sickest way possible, and Tanner's face journey as they try to comprehend anythin...
Apr 14, 2019•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 30
This week Tanner is selling music but not selling out when they think of how they might bring 90s cult classic Empire Records to the stage. They'll desperately try to convince Lindsay that they know things about Broadway production as they talk about the movie's relatable teen vibes, great soundtrack, and how best to rig the casting process. Also discussed are Broadway adjacent geographies, false advertising with a dog, and being Fake Deep. It's the 90s, everyone. This week's friendship promo is...
Apr 07, 2019•50 min•Ep. 29
Welcome back Guardians, to another episode of the internets best and only podcast about ReBoot: The Guardian Code! Tanner and Lindsay have made a huge discovery about the best show on tv. Apparently, ReBoot the Guardian Code is not the first ReBoot - there was a completely different show before! How weird is that?! Well, listen and find out! Many thanks to our friends Sky and Jake over at @FailedPopCultur!
Mar 31, 2019•17 min•Ep. 28
This week we're joined by special guest Benny, who tells us all about the 80s cartoon David the Gnome, as well as proposes a potential sequel series starring David's granddaughter Susan. He, Lindsay, and Tanner discuss how we can keep the show as socially conscious as its predecessor by teaching kids about global climate change, interracial relationships, and exploding trees. We also come across a sexy gnome bath, people who make animal noises, and Pando the Trembling Giant. This week's friendsh...
Mar 24, 2019•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 27
Say what?! This week our friend Janine is here as a guest to give Clone High a makeover makeover makeover makeover for you and me! She'll tell Tanner and Lindsay all about the antics that the cast got up to before the show's portrayal of Gandhi got it cancelled...which means Lindsay gets to use her degree to track down the next historical party animal! Along the way the trio will also discuss backwards chair advise, Shakespeare Truthers, and Lindsay's jock family. This week's friendship promo is...
Mar 17, 2019•56 min•Ep. 26
Greetings trainers! In this week's episode Lindsay is taking a look at the Pokemon Game that never was - Version Z! Zee? Zed? It's fine. She's take Tanner on an adventure to discover way more mega evolutions, stories to flesh out the side characters, and just a general increase in the amount of content the Kalos region has. Along the way they'll also discuss when to use your master balls, disappointing bird dances, and Face-Type Pokemon. This week's friendship promo is Bed Bath and Bionicle (#BB...
Mar 10, 2019•1 hr•Ep. 25
Welcome to good timeline America, where women are respected, idiot men are discarded, and Elle Woods is living her best life. This week Tanner is taking the smash hit Legally Blonde and turning it into a tv show so that it can more closely examine female friendships, Warner being the Worst, and Good People making Good Decisions. Also featured are copyright law, Fire Emblem, and Lindsay getting dragged about Billy Zane. This week's friendship promo is @DownToFriend! Our cover art is by Alex aka @...
Mar 03, 2019•49 min•Ep. 24
Did you forget we were Canadian, eh? Well this week Lindsay is making sure you know with a remake of Due South! She's enhancing the original work by genderbending the two main characters, combining different Rays into a singular being, and also having a serious discussion with Tanner on how police are portrayed in media versus how they function in real life. Fortunately there are still plenty of fun tangents such as getting named after a deceased relative, being terrible children, and dramatic h...
Feb 24, 2019•54 min•Ep. 23
*record scratch* Yup, that's us. You're probably wondering how we got into this situation. It all started when Christina brought us the highly derivative 2005 comic Wildsiderz to reboot. She took Lindsay and Tanner on a journey through decent ideas with poor execution, terrible teenage tropes that gotta be reexamined, and DOCTOR TYBERIUS SPYDER. Along the way the trio also discover teenage dirtbags, breakfasts that will kill you, and Xtreme Teen Lindsay. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and...
Feb 17, 2019•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 22
This week, special guest Jake Mason is taking us on a trip to a lovely place called Raccoon City (or maybe Toronto?) in order to reboot the Resident Evil movies into a cheesy television series. He tells Tanner and Lindsay all about zombie escape rooms, being evil as A Brand, and how Wentworth Miller may not be Chris Redfield but will always be Captain Cold. Though thanks to some big tangent energy, this episode also becomes a fancast for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Canadian Geogrophy, and...local ...
Feb 10, 2019•1 hr•Ep. 21
This week, everything else is just a toy as Tanner creates a sequel to the 90s toys-to-life movie Small Soldiers. It's gonna be a movie, or maybe a comic book? They'll tell Lindsay all about the heroic Gorgonites, especially the leader Archer and how much their mom loves him. Also discussed are nerdy surnames, Christopher Guest's noble causes, and the decomposition of transformers toys. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com . Our theme music is "The Metamo...
Feb 03, 2019•55 min•Ep. 20
School's in session! Night School, that is! Lindsay wants to see an adaptation of an OEL Canadian Manga about a girl going to a magical school, but one far superior to Hogwarts. She and Tanner discuss how they could expand on the more interesting plot points such as the unique character curses, the immortal god-like beings, and the adorable smoke monsters. Also discussed are the problems with Western math classes, unionizing ravens, and Dick Grayson age 12. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, ...
Jan 27, 2019•46 min•Ep. 19
FLORIDA! The land of gators, wacky headlines, and one tip of the Bermuda Triangle - don't you think that makes a great place for a branch of Torchwood? Tanner does! They try to catch Lindsay up on year's worth of barely-remembered Doctor Who lore in order to create an amusing series that incorporates former cast members while also standing on its own. Also discussed are how to adopt robots, the all-encompassing powers of Anne of Green Gables, and (regrettably) SuperWhoLock. Our cover art is by A...
Jan 20, 2019•55 min•Ep. 18
This week we have a special guest as Duncan The Beast fills in for Lindsay. Duncan's a GAMER, and his favourite game is SONIC THE HEDGEHOG, and his least favourite is SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 2006. He and Tanner will try to reboot it by simplifying the story, giving the development team enough time to make it work properly, and generally avoiding corporate foolishness. They'll also discuss which Sonic character is the mascot for Hot Topic, how you shouldn't trust cutscenes, and nipple coats. Our cover...
Jan 13, 2019•50 min•Ep. 17
Here comes Lindsay with another depressing story from the Cold War: The Spy Who Came In From The Cold! Are there any uplifting stories from the Cold War? If there are, we haven’t heard ’em. As Lindsay tells the story of the original novel she and Tanner discover a circus made of spies, ruin the auras of new-age shopping centers, and breath the same air as the fun and good-looking communists. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com . Our theme music is "The M...
Jan 07, 2019•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 16
Tanner has spiders on the brain, so they've thrown out the idea they had last week and are instead trying to make a Silk movie for the MCU. They and Lindsay discuss the concerning early days of the character of Cindy Moon while trying to untangle a web of Spider continuity. Then, because it's the last episode of the year and they're tired, they also go right off the deep end talking about Banksy, superhero concept albums, Power Rangers on HBO, and giving everyone a giant robot. Our cover art is ...
Dec 30, 2018•1 hr•Ep. 15
Lindsay managed to find a tangentially-jingly subject for this week's reboot: the tale of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. She and Tanner think it could be made into a very charming animated short film despite the inherent weirdness, violence, and too much incest. They also discuss the stigma against animation, the King Arthur Expanded Universe, and twink vibes. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com . Our theme music is "The Metamorphosis [Instrumental]" b...
Dec 23, 2018•46 min•Ep. 14
Merry Chrysler everyone! Tanner's spending the Holidays by coming up with an movie based on the story inside The Waitresses' hit song "Christmas Wrapping". They and Lindsay will discuss how it's ahead of its time with the way it taps into the millennial feeling of loving Christmas while simultaneously feeling exhausted by it. They'll also talk about shotgunning a can of cranberries, a beautiful platter of kielbasa sausage, and our favourite Christmas songs (fun fact: there's a lot more muppets a...
Dec 16, 2018•57 min•Ep. 13
Gather round witches and wizards, it's time for Lindsay to confront JK Rowling and her many, many Crimes of Grindelwald. She and Tanner are giving hot takes about the Grindeldorf narrative needing to exist in its own movie, Newt's story needing more cryptids and gangsters, and the Harry Potter world's inability to mesh with reality in general. We'll also discuss Christian Allegories, Warner Bros' cinematic universe problem, and our favourite Harry Potter fanfic tropes. Our cover art is by Alex a...
Dec 09, 2018•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 12
This week Lindsay and Tanner join forces to discuss their idea for a modern Sherlock Holmes adaptation, with a bunch of other amateur sleuths added in. It features a discussion on mental illness in several public domain detectives, lots of gender flipping, and the universal Watson. We also discuss relatives with the same names, University seating arrangements, and yelling at Houdini. This episode of Not If I Reboot You First is released under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share-a...
Dec 02, 2018•1 hr 18 min•Ep. 11
It's all in Tanner's hands this week as they bring Animorphs to the table - though since Lindsay never read the books it's mostly just Tanner gushing about it. They talk about the franchise making all the wrong merchandising decisions, and how to adapt it in a way that doesn’t detract from the morality plays and mature subject matter the series tackled. Also discussed is Lindsay's constitution score of zero and Tanner's ability to make anything sound gayer than it probably is. They also coin the...
Nov 25, 2018•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 10
Aloha listeners! Lindsay’s gotten us all tickets to an American live-action reboot of Sailor Moon in Hawaii! It’s got everything: an Usagi who games, multiple uses for the term “cousin”, and Lindsay trying real hard to sell the toy rights to Hasbro. They also discuss the hypnotist from their real-life after-grad party, Tanner’s accents going all over the place, and what infernal forces have trapped Carlos in The Zone for all eternity. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be fou...
Nov 18, 2018•1 hr 28 min•Ep. 9
It's a retro flashback episode full of 80s cheese and 70s sleaze when Tanner proposes that they and Lindsay create a prequel to the Ocean's Eleven heist movie franchise. Tanner digs into the deep lore gleaned from all four movies to create the story of Danny and Debbie Ocean's first job, with Lindsay providing all the historical information on aesthetics and highly stupid real world crooks. Along the way they also discuss how big Canada is, the cinematic masterpiece that is Catch That Kid, and t...
Nov 11, 2018•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 8
This week Lindsay is creating something new: a film based on the life story of Francis Pegahmagabow, a Canadian First Nations soldier from WWI who went on to do some pretty great stuff both during and after the conflict. She and Tanner also get serious when talking about the treatment of First Nations peoples in Canada and the importance of standing against fascism. Though along the way they do come across some lighter stuff, like how to earn a nickname in the CAF, why you should pee in your han...
Nov 04, 2018•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 7
Tanner's a little sick this week - maybe they were cursed by The Mummy! They're rebooting that film for the fourth or fifth time this week, and with Lindsay they'll discuss how to make a good cinematic universe, complain about death gods always getting the villain treatment, and wonder if Lindsay can be (legally) mummified and eaten after her demise. Along the way they also come across Pre-Raphaelite Tide Pod challenges, Egyptian-style Pokemon designs, and regular dudes named Imhotep. Our cover ...
Oct 28, 2018•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 6
Content warning for animal violence - we do talk about what animal attacks can do in some detail. This week, Lindsay brings to the table The Ghost and The Darkness, a horror movie based on real life(!) man-eating lions attacking a construction site in the 1890s, followed by a 1990s movie with screentime-eating actors. She and Tanner end up going on lovely tangents about how animals are simultaneously awesome, hilarious, dumb, and deadly. Other tangents include ranking the Batmen, taking shots at...
Oct 21, 2018•47 min•Ep. 5
In this weeks episode, Tanner brings to the table the neo-noir action-goth film Underworld. They and Lindsay take it to task on why its fantastic racism narrative works even less than usual examples, and Tanner tries to improve it by introducing more sympathetic characters. Along the way they also come across vampires with weak names and werewolves who's names Tanner refused to google, and they definitely don't discuss Disney's Z-o-m-b-i-e-s. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work ca...
Oct 15, 2018•45 min•Ep. 4
The latest entry in the Conjuring Cinematic Universe landed a few weeks ago, bringing all it's Soviet-less historical inaccuracies with it - and Lindsay's have nun of that. She takes apart The Nun, giving Tanner a crash course on the split between Roman Catholocism and the Orthodoxy, the latter's team-up with Stalin, and the terrible fallout that ensued in real life. Along the way they also encounter Ed and Lorraine Warren's demon scams, Vlad Dracula's Corpse Forest, and all the greatest cold wa...
Oct 08, 2018•52 min•Ep. 3
This week, Tanner is rebooting the classic teen film The Breakfast Club. Them and Lindsay will determine how to improve its portrayal of adolescent angst and public school library architecture. Along the way they also encounter proper method acting, 80s rich girl problems, and canine fashion choices. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com . Our theme music is "The Metamorphosis [Instrumental]" by Osiris Saline , courtesy of the Free Music Archive. Our email...
Oct 01, 2018•49 min•Ep. 2
