Episode 140 – Behind Enemy Lines
Welcome back! We hope you’re enjoying this study of the book of Ephesians. We’ve got one more episode after this one, and after that we’ll be starting a new series called “Real Truth About False Teaching” where we walk you through some popular false teaching and show you why it does not line up with Scripture.
There are some very popular beliefs out there that call themselves “Christian” and aren’t – LDS, Hebrew Roots, Jehovah’s Witnesses and a host of other false theological ideas that can train wreck your faith. So we hope you can join us for the series! But for now, we go on with Ephesians chapter 6.
We titled this episode “Behind Enemy Lines” with good reason: because, quite frankly, we as Christians live our daily lives in enemy territory while we’re here on earth. At every turn, it seems that living as a Christian gets harder and harder.
One of the things most under attack is the family. In the last two episodes we pointed out that God directly addressed Christian wives and after that directly addressed Christian husbands after that. As we move into chapter 6 today we’re going to see that God also directly addresses children of Christian parents, and we’re going to talk about the significance of that in a bit. He also has things to say to parents, employees and to bosses in this section, so let’s get started.
I’ll start by reading Ephesians 6:1-3 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3“that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” First thing to notice is that God is directly addressing the children in this part of the letter written by Paul and read to the church. That fact leads us to a couple of important points.
First, the fact that Paul is addressing the children directly in the letter that’s being read out loud in Ephesus should get our attention because it means that the children were in the worship service. We bring that up because it is good to question ourselves as parents about when our children should be in church for the whole service. And that may not be the same for every child, even within the same family.
We want our children to eventually get to that point, and part of a child wanting to be in the church service has to do with how we handle it. Allistair Begg says, “It’s important to ask ourselves as parents of children how we talk about them being in the service with us. Do we act like they’ll be bored? Do we care if our teens are bored or not? Or do we make them listen? We should. How we present worship has an effect on them. How important it is to us has an effect on them.” And I would say the same goes for attending church, Sunday school, serving at church and the like. Do we act like it’s a drag or are we excited?
Kids being in worship is a big topic, so we’re not going to get into that discussion today, but Michelle Lesley two great articles @ michellelesley.com with great advice about the subject. One article is called “Oh, Behave! Training Your Child to Behave in Church” and the other is “Yes Sir! That’s My Baby!” She also has a great advice in her “Mailbag” section called “Should Christian Women Cover Up While Breastfeeding?” She doesn’t directly address it happening while sitting in the pew (which is a huge debate in Christian circles ) but she makes a lot of good points.
Lots to consider about kids being in the worship service, and it’s a good discussion for church leadership to have once in a while too. Another thing that’s significant about the children being addressed directly is that it shows how important they are to God. Ligonier Ministry says this about it, “Scripture uniquely addresses children directly, commanding them as individuals with a moral sense of what they should and should not do. This elevates children from the status of mere possessions to persons, conferring upon them a dignity and worth not always given to them in unbelieving societies. Kids are not chattel who can be treated any way their parents like."
That’s important. Just like there were words directed to Christian wives, then words directed to Christian husbands, and those words weren’t for being used against each other (as they often are), these words from God are directed to the children. It’s between the child and God. We should not use them to browbeat our child into obeying. There’s a very good reason why none of us should browbeat each other with God’s Word to try to get the other to conform. Because there is only ONE reason any of us should (and even truly can) conform to God’s imperatives on how to live – because of the indicatives that have already been spelled out for us in the first three chapters of the book of Ephesians.
That’s a very important point. As a refresher, the indicatives in the Bible tell us who we are – we are God’s chosen people, loved before the foundation of the world, saved solely by His grace. We did nothing at all to earn our salvation. Living the way God tells us to stems from realizing all of that. We realize who we are in Christ and we love God and want to obey because of it. That’s what the “Therefore,” is there for when you get to Ephesians Chapter 4.
What it means for parents is that the most important thing to do is to teach your child about God, and teach him or her the complete Gospel message. They need to understand what God has done for them. That’s another reason telling them to “ask Jesus into their heart” and leaving it there with no explanation of their sin and their need of grace, is pretty pointless. We want them to eventually follow what God tells them because of the fact they’ve been born again and have the desire to follow Him. So it starts with training them to obey us, but we couple it with teaching about God.
In other words, we don’t want to just raise moral kids. That’s why Paul didn’t stop at verse one saying, “obey your parents because this is right.” He follows with verse 2 – a reminder that “Honor your father and mother” is the first (and only) of the ten commandments with a promise. That Old Testament promise (found in Ex. 20:12 and Deut. 5:16) is “that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you” (meaning the Promised Land because God was speaking to the Israelites). Here in Ephesians 6 though, the ending of that promise is not there. It just says “that you may live long in the land.” God isn’t promising eternal life based on works. You don’t’ get eternal life by obeying your parents.
By God’s design we are in families so that children will learn to obey their parents, and the parents will teach them about God, so that someday they hopefully will turn in repentance and begin to obey Him. Ephesians 6:4 tells us more about doing it. Ephesians 6:4 in the Amplified version says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to the point of resentment with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive; nor by showing favoritism or indifference to any of them], but bring them up [tenderly, with lovingkindness] in the disciplines and instruction of the Lord.” The term used here can be used for not just fathers, but for both parents.
Thinking back through the Bible, there are examples of the behaviors mentioned in those verses, and we see their effects on children. Just think about how Jacob showing favoritism turned out for Joseph and his brothers. God used it for much good, but it was sinful on Jacob’s part and it caused about as much family strife and drama as you could possibly ask for! Same with David and Absalom. David almost lost the respect of the whole nation of Israel and his army by mourning for Absalom despite his murderous, throne-stealing, unrighteousness behavior, which David just ran away from instead of handling.
David was almost like an absentee father to his children. He was very passive about their behavior. Absalom was righteously angry at one point because his sister Tamar was raped by their half-brother. What did their father, David, do? Nothing, So Absalom became resentful toward his half-rother and hated him and eventually killed him. Wouldn’t it have been better if David had done something in the first place? Same situation with Jacob and his daughter Dinah when she was raped by a pagan prince and Jacob did nothing, so the brothers did. They lied to the brother and father, told all the males to circumcize themselves, and then when they were in pain, killed all the males.
It’s easy to see the first part of this verse and feel good about yourself that you’re not browbeating or demeaning your child. But make sure it isn’t because you’re never saying anything to them at all in the way of discipline. And if you are spewing hurtful demeaning words, stop and repent. And, in either case – whether failing to discipline or spewing hurt – stop it, and start doing what the second part of the verse says. Start bringing them up [tenderly, with lovingkindness] in the disciplines and instruction of the Lord.”
When it comes to spiritual matters, what are we doing with our kids? Is it like pulling teeth to have family devotions? This gets ugly in some families. So how do you handle it? Maybe you look back to Deuteronomy 6:4 which says, “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
This is the Bible lived out in daily life, talked about as you’re going through your day, living it out by example. Family devotions are great for some. But if not, you can continue to bully everyone into coming to the living room for a half hour, be mad at all the whining and complaining, then browbeat them for “not loving the Lord enough to want to do devotions.” Or you can make prayer, talking about the Lord, discussing how to handle matters in a godly way something that flows naturally through your day. When your children get up in the morning, are you reading your bible, or do they instinctively know that you already have cause they’ve seen you do it so much? Do your kids see the Lord as the dominating influence in how you run your home?
Do we have to absolutely sit down and have family devotions for a half hour a day? Maybe, maybe not, parents have to decide how they’re going to teach about God. But we are going to talk about the Lord in our homes. We’re going to learn Scripture somehow. We are going to honor the Lord with our lives. But you can make rules that they have to follow to make sure they learn about Him. “You must go to church and SS. We will be praying before meals, we will pray before bed, we will pray before school even if it means we’re doing it on the 1-minute drive to the bus stop because you’re not getting on the bus until we’ve had a short prayer.” We make them do other things, even when they don’t want to. As Voddie Baucham says, we force them to read because we want them to love reading and we believe it’s an absolute necessity for life. We force them into rote memorization of multiplication tables so they can do math, but we don’t catechize them. Reading and math can’t save them eternally. Why not set rules that will teach them about the most important thing of all?
It fits perfectly with the Allistair Begg quote: how we approach these things can make a big difference. Show how important God is to you. Remember, we live behind enemy lines. The truth is, in some ways, no one has more opportunity to be exposed to the enemy than our children. As Martin Lloyd-Jones says, “What are parents to do? They are to supplement the teaching of the church, and they are to apply the teaching of the church. So little can be done in a sermon. It has to be applied, to be explained, to be extended, to be supplemented. That is where the parents play their part. And if this has been always right and important, how much more so today than ever before! … Children are being taught perverse things in the schools. They hear them on the wireless and see them on the television. The whole emphasis is anti-God, anti-Bible, anti-true Christianity,… Who is going to counter these trends? That is precisely the business of parents—”
We have to do it even though in today’s culture obeying parents and obeying God might get them bullied, shunned, or even hated by others – maybe even by those in authority over the child. Parents haven a tough job because while they’re teaching them to be on guard about what they’re hearing, they’re also trying to teach their children to have respect for people in authority.
As Christian parents we want our kids to respect teachers and other adults, but we want to raise them to be godly. And not every adult in their life is a Christian. Even Grandma might not be a Christian. So you have to make sure they’re obeying YOU and not Grandma if you have differing opinions on things that are important. It’s a fine line to teach them to have respect for other adults, and yet that they should take what their told by most other adults with a grain of salt (or maybe a whole box of salt) and bring the advice they’re given to you before acting on it. You have to do it.
We better figure out how to navigate it because we’re living behind enemy lines. Two of the most important things about being behind enemy lines are being able to recognize your enemy so you can see them coming and knowing your enemy. How do we get to know and recognize our enemy? The first thing (of course) is knowing (and teaching our children) Scripture, so that we can instantly recognize when something seems like it might be good but smells a little fishy. And the second thing is to be aware of what’s happening in the world and particularly in the life of your child. Realize that the onslaught of evil can come from places usually (or that used to be) considered safe.
It’s not always easy to know what’s going on. In public school the onslaught against the parent/child relationship grows more and more. Look up the certification you need to volunteer there. For the sake of safety they’ve made it extremely hard to for you to be able to go in. I’m not saying there doesn’t need to be some protections in place, but it’s got bad side to it. Still, you have to find a way.
I just heard about one set of parents so fed up with their child’s entire class being interrupted and having to file out into the hall over and over again because an out-of-control child with an IEP that they bought their child a phone watch programmed to call them only and told the child to give them a call every time they have to leave the room. It’s the only way those parents can document what’s happening. It sounds insane. And this is kindergarten.
And there are even worse examples of why parents need to be in-the-know. There’s a recent example of a 23-year-old girl named Helena Kerschner who was interviewed on Tucker Carlson recently. Ms. Kerschner went on the program to talk about why she detransitioned from trying to change from girl to boy. She was born a girl, and in her teenage years she (in her own words) “felt uncomfortable in her body.” She goes on to say that it’s “completely normal to feel that way for both boys and girls” at that time in life, which is true. But, when Helena was in her teen years, someone convinced her she might be transgender, and the end result of it was that she started down the path of transitioning from a girl, into a boy. The guidance counselor at her public school who helped her get started on that path. She helped her come up with a “transitioning budget” and referred her to the school psychologist who was “even more gung-ho” (Helena’s words).
They had three or four meetings before inviting Helena’s mother into the conversation. Thankfully Helena started detransitioning early enough to not have lasting medical effects. But, as she pointed out, once you start down the path and then realize you’ve made this huge mistake, even if you don’t have medical issues, there are always psychological issues that you have to deal with for life. (If you want to hear that from someone who did go through all that, read Walt Heyer’s story at sexchangeregret.com. His inbox in full of messages from people wanting help because of regret.)
Parents and guardians have to be eyes wide open. The doctor’s office used to be deemed safe, but as you said, the ideology that’s out there today says things like, if you feel “uncomfortable in your body” then you are probably transgender. They’re even telling children that if you don’t like the sound of your voice on a recording, that is a sign of gender dysphoria and you need to go and see a specialist. Should parents to leave the exam room for “the sake of their child’s privacy” so they can talk freely. They’re being asked to. I know what I would say!
Not every adult in authority over your child is on Team Satan, but a parent needs to know who is, and be on their guard. Remember, sometimes these people seem good, maybe even claim to be Christian, but when they’re at risk of losing their jobs by not following the rules, they may cave and throw your child right under the bus. Not all of them will, but some will. Even unsaved relatives can give your child ungodly advice or point them in a really bad direction. The point is to know what is going on in your child’s life and root them deeply in God’s goodness, and the salvation He’s secured for us. They need to see their own need of God’s forgiveness.
They do because God’s law without the Gospel might lead you to having the most well-behaved kids in the state, who grow up to serve starving people in some remote part of the world, and in God’s eyes, it will still be sinful behavior because they’ve done it without faith, for reasons less than doing it for His Glory. There are many adults who were taught about God at a young age who don’t come to faith until late in life. So, bring them up “in the disciplines and instruction of the Lord.”
Let’s move on now to Ephesians 6:5-9, “Bondservants, obey your earthly mastersb with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, 6not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, 8knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free.9Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Masterc and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.
These words in Ephesians say slaves (or bond slaves or servants) and masters. Today this is workers and employers. According to the ESV study Bible, slaves were an integral part of family life, so if makes sense that Paul would address them in this familial section. And, they were an integral part of the society. About 1/3 of the population were slaves – whether that was of their own doing ot pay off debt, or they were sold into it. Paul wasn’t condoning slavery by writing this, and not by saying “free all slaves!” We see the reality of what he believes what God’s view of slavery is by Paul’s letter to Philemon. It’s not glorifying to God that people put other people into slavery. But it’s already there when Paul writes this and it’s such an integral part of society, that to do away with it all at once would have (in the words of Alistair Begg, “been like removing machinery from the manufacturing industry.”
It would have upended everything. The Gospel changes lives and hearts, but Christianity wasn’t looked at well by many people at that time, including those in charge, so to think Paul writing trying to get rid of all slavery at that moment would have caused it to happen is ludicrous. The importance of this teaching is that people who hear and understand the Gospel message and trust in Jesus for salvation are radically changed. And that change results in changed behavior that’s radically different from the world. Paul is teaching those who had come to know Christ how to handle themselves in the work environment in a way that would honor their Savior.
Christians acting in this manner Paul lays out would be radically different from most of the unsaved culture in the same situation. There’s a reason we’re to be radically different. 1 Peter 2:12 says, “Conduct yourselves with such honor among the Gentiles that, though they slander you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us.”
The first thing that workers are told is to obey. It’s easier said than done. Our sinful nature wants to do its own thing. We want to be our own bosses. That’s what got humanity in trouble in the first place! Add to that things like having a boss that’s half your age and couldn’t do your job if their life depended on it; or having gotten passed over for the boss job yourself. Those can be hard pills to swallow. So, what does obeying look like?
Well, it doesn’t look like arguing against what you’re told. It doesn’t look like making excuses why you can’t. And truly obeying in a God-honoring way doesn’t even leave room for a delay in obedience without good reason. In other words, shut your mouth and do what you’re told. The only exceptions to that are when you’re told to do something that’s in opposition to what the Bible teaches – it involves immorality, idolatry, or if it means suppressing witnessing the Gospel.
Let’s talk about the “fear and trembling” part of this. Paul uses this phrase “fear and trembling” other places – when he goes to Corinth, talking about Titus when he’s received in Corinth, and when he writes to the Philippians about their salvation. That should tell us that he’s not saying to fear and tremble because of your boss. Although in some situations – like the one slaves were in when Paul write this, they did need to have a healthy fear of the situations they could be put in by their masters. They could be sold into worse slavery, suffer beatings and harsh punishment, or be put in jail.
Masters also often had the authority to have them killed, if so desired. It was good to have a healthy kind of fear about it. However, Paul is talking about having awe and reverence for Christ in this passage and the other passages we mentioned that use the phrase. That’s what fear and trembling mean in these cases. These slaves are to serve their masters as a service to their Savior. And they’re to put their heart into it, sincerely. If you were told to go muck out the horse stalls, and you hated to do it, you would think about Paul’s words, remembering that you were ultimately serving the Lord and being pleased to do it because it’s for Him. Doing your work in that way speaks volumes to the watching world. But handling it the other way can kill your witness. What if you don’t like your work? What if it’s drudgery? What would you say to someone who said that to you?
1 Peter 2:18-20 says, “Servants, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect,f not only to those who are good and gentle, but even to those who are unreasonable. 19For if anyone endures the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God, this is to be commended. 20How is it to your credit if you are beaten for doing wrong and you endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God.” As hard as it is, God put us where we are. There may be times to change jobs, but whatever situation we’re in right now, God is sovereign over it. He sovereignly got us here. Another hard pill to swallow, but true nonetheless. The whole key to this part of the passage is that you’re doing it for Christ. Not your boss, and not yourself. Verse 8 tells us our reward for doing it this way is heavenly, not earthly. The reward for doing good, according to that verse, is a heavenly one regardless of social status. Remember, suffering for doing good is commendable before God.
The last part of Paul’s instructions in this section is to Christian masters, or in our day Christian bosses. I’ll read it again. Ephesians 6:5-9 says, “Bondservants, obey your earthly mastersb with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, 6not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, 8knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free.9Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Masterc and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.
We already mentioned some of the ways they could possibly intimidate slaves back then. It’s obvious that they used threats to get slaves to do what they wanted. Well, the Christian masters weren’t to remind the slaves that they could bring on harsh punishment. It’s fitting that Paul reminds them they also have a Master. Out of reference for Christ they were to treat them well – something that may have brought them disdain from other slave masters. Paul’s words to the Christian masters tells them that slaves are people who are made in the image of God, and people that God cares about. So bosses, act accordingly, as a service to Christ, treating even the worst employee you oversee with dignity and respect.
It’s all about God. We tend to forget that. The Bible is not ultimately about helping the poor or ending slavery. Those are good things to do, but man’s problem isn’t that there’s disparity between people groups. Man’s problem is that because of sin he is separated from God. The answer is that God gave us a way to be reunited with Himself. That’s the thrust of the whole Bible. And once we’re reconciled with Him, we can live in unity with one another, even if we were once enemies. It’s one of the main themes of the book of Ephesians. The world tries to copy that. It tries to force unity to happen between people, but they try it void of the salvific work of Christ in their hearts. It doesn’t work.
And that’s a good place to end today. Join us next week for the final part of our series, “The Truth Will Set You Free!” And keep up with everything proverbs 9:10 on our website, proverbs910ministries.com. Have a blessed day!