Little Fish: It's Mostly Machines These Days

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Hi everyone, welcome to this week's episode of Little Fish. We've been so happy to get messages from you guys to say that you've been enjoying this show and we certainly enjoy making it. It's a little bit more loose, a little bit more silly than the normal shows, but we really, really...

love getting your facts so please do keep sending those in the reason i've disturbed the start of your show today is because i want to tell you about a quiz that we're doing it is for patreon subscribers on the top tier and it will take place on the 20th 23rd of January at 7pm UK time so that'll be sometime in the afternoon if you're in North America and it'll be very early in the morning if you're in Australia or New Zealand but hopefully you will still be able to join us it's going to be

a whole load of fun we've got loads of amazing stuff planned for you and if you are not a member of patreon right now then you have to go to patreon.com slash no such thing as a fish and join our top tier you could probably just do it for a month

and then quit if you just want to do the quiz but honestly there's so much good stuff on our patreon that i really think once you join you will be hooked because we have extra content we have merch we have video content there's all sorts of stuff on there We hope we've made it value for money because people going on there help to support the podcast. So it is a real good mutual benefit thing. Anyway, enough of that. Really hope you enjoyed this episode of Little Fish.

Hi, everybody. Listener, Andy's got a cold and it's actually a really bad one. I've had a super sniffle. Hi, everybody. Welcome to Little Fish. This is our audience fact. show so uh never mind our boring old facts it's time for your boring old facts instead you've been sending them into podcast at qi.com and um we've been reading them collating them, winnowing them, doing extra research on them, and here are your best facts.

from the last seven days. So let's go. What you can't see, listener, is the most British thing is happening in the background. As Andy is introducing the show, he's pouring himself a thermos of tea. Yes, we're recording this on apparently my Duke of Edinburgh.

I thought it was incredible how you multitasked there. Thank you very much. Because actually, I think the listener wouldn't have been able to tell he was pouring that tea until you mentioned it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go. Well, thank you very much. Yeah.

But look, enough of this. Enough of this banter. Let's have some factor. Let's have some facts. uh who would like to start we got sent in a fact by alex hawes and alex says nazi propaganda in the 1930s relied heavily on an englishman called dick seaman

Come on, Fitz. No. He had such a bad time in the English public school system that he just turned. I wouldn't blame him. Why would you give someone a name like that? You'd think his dad would have learned, given the fact he was called William Seaman. Willie Seaman. come on good lord come on indeed yeah so this is uh richard dick seaman uh he was a british racing driver and he was signed by the state-backed mercedes team in the mid-1930s to race in the precursor to what

That is modern F1. And he was appointed as a non-German to be part of the teams. He was signed off by Goebbels, who showed him to Hitler. Hitler loved him. Hitler thought he was amazing. In fact, when he died, and sadly Dick Seaman did die in a crash during a race, Hitler sent the biggest bouquet of flowers to the funeral. So Hitler. It is really. Oh, I've got to send the biggest bouquet of flowers. Do you know what I mean? It's just showing off.

He's the kind of person that, you know, like if someone does a sponsored swim and everyone sponsors you for five pounds, he would do six pounds. Yeah, he is. I knew I didn't like him, but that's really taken it to a new territory. Interesting fact about Seaman. Yeah. I mentioned in an earlier, I think it was a Little Fish, about a football team in...

Indonesia or the Philippines called Semen Pandang. Yes. And I said that the name Semen came from a cement company. Oh, yeah. And someone messaged me on Instagram. It was Lars Vanthoff. And Lars said that they lived in Bali most of their life and they... They can tell me that the word semen means cement in Indonesia. So it's not a brand name. It's just a generic word for cement. So whatever this person ever had to buy cement.

because they were an English speaker, they thought it was very amusing. As you would. Just while we're on sports and fascism and the 1930s. Brilliant. Who knew it was going to go in this direction? Who knew our listeners had such a niche knowledge base? Well, Stefan Barrett and Mark Norman have both sent in a brilliant fact. So I'll start with Stefan. Stefan says...

Infamous right-wing dictator Benito Mussolini's great-grandson, Romano Floriani Mussolini, is a professional footballer who plays on... Any guesses? Sorry, on? The right wing. Oh! Yes. And at a good level too, apparently, in the top Italian league. Really? Serie A. That's right. And Mark adds, Mark says that fact as well, and says, just a trivial thing I found amusing when I was told it. I'm sure he's a lovely person, and it does state on his Wikipedia that he has no interest in politics.

Cool. Interesting. I have a feeling that Gaddafi's son might have played professional football. Really? At a relatively high level, maybe Serie A or something. Yeah. I think I might be wrong about that.

Here's a fact from Scott Parsons, who writes that they work in clinical trials and thought we would like to know some of the papers that Scott has come across over the years. He found that the half-life of communal teaspoons is 42. So if you have a load of teaspoons in the office, then after 42 days, half of them will have disappeared. Interesting. That is interesting. And it breaks over an old wound for us.

Which we don't need to get into now. Like, I still don't understand how I got involved in that controversy. Well, because you kept putting the spoons in the bin. Was it me doing that? I think it was the forks. I think there were no forks. Or knives. It was one of them. All I did was jump in saying, hey, it could have been any one of us so that whoever did it would feel, oh, okay, it's not a problem to admit to it. You know, Knives Out.

yeah the first ever mystery that benoit blanc solved was what happened to the knives in the qi office and that's how that series got its name yeah there we go and was i was i fingered by it was cut from the final film that scene but um they also so scott also found that if you need a problem to be solved quickly brain surgeons are better than rocket scientists

really interesting to a study because there's that whole um speaking of popular culture as we were there's that mitchell and webb sketch isn't there where their brain surgeon meets the rocket scientist Which is very good. But what do you reckon is hardest, brain surgery or rocket science? I feel like brain surgery is harder. Because it's more fiddly. I think it's largely machines these days. So I think rocket science...

Well, you think rocket science is one of the last sort of craftsmen? What, you think they're hewing those from timber, do you? It's an old nonna in Italy. Makes it from willow. It's mostly machines these days. I think brain surgery is largely, you're not necessarily going in with your hands anymore. You program it, don't you? And then you just press button one. Yeah, it's a bit, it's no harder than playing Street Fighter these days. Yeah.

And when in doubt, just mash all the buttons and that'll probably do something. It'll definitely do something. If it shouts, finish him, you know you've done something wrong. So brain surgery in the UK, you need to do a five-year medical degree, then two years of foundation training, then at least eight more years of neurosurgical training. Whereas to be a rocket scientist, you'd need to do your degree, but then you could do an apprenticeship after that.

and go straight into the industry. So you need to do a lot more studying to be a brain surgeon. Interesting. There's got to be levels of rocket scientist. You start off making tea and just chatting with rocket scientists. T minus five, T minus four. Come on.

Please. Wonderful. I'm going to take the rest of the day off. That's it. I've got a good one here. Yeah? From Alex Hartley. Okay. Oh. Who says... The guy from Milli Vanilli. Which guy? There were two of them. Well, there were two of them. One sadly passed away now, but the other one. Who were they, by the way? Just for more context. Milli Vanilli with this double act. Two incredibly handsome guys.

Singers. Singers. Ostensibly. Yes. But it turned out that they'd been miming on top of the pops. That's right. Well, not just miming on top of the pops. So they had this unbelievably successful debut album that sold 8 million copies. They were absolutely everywhere. They were...

Huge. We're talking 1989 here. They were superstars. They won the Grammy for best new artist. And then they were revealed not to have sung any of their live gigs where they were all lip syncing or any of their recordings. Right. So it just wasn't their voices at any point. It was such a big story that I will have been like, what, 10 years old at this time. And at school, we all knew this story. And we would make jokes about it and stuff like that. It's kind of, and the backlash was huge. Fans.

destroyed their records. You know, and that's millions of records. Millions and vanillions. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Why are you still here to even make that joke? I feel like it's going downhill isn't it Diminishing returns yeah But it's the only time a Grammy has ever been rescinded

Wow! They took it off them, did they? And some real hounds have won Grammys, I suspect. I suspect some people have won Grammys who are rotters. But probably sang their songs. But probably sang their songs. So anyway, that's the situation, right? And Alex's fact is... The guy from Milli Vanilli, who had to give back a Grammy, is nominated this year for a Grammy for narrating the audiobook of the story of Milli Vanilli. So good. Absolutely stunning. And that, I think, is next year's...

Grammys I think the 2026 the categories have been announced indeed this year by the time this goes out absolutely this year. Hello everybody And Happy New Year. The Golden Globes have added a podcast category this year. Have you seen that? Yeah. So the Grammys might eventually go on to that. We might...

We might get a Grammy one day. We were not eligible for the Golden Globes one. Is that right? Yeah, it was like, I think only the top 10 podcasts in the world were up for, like, there was some rule that meant that. And we're number 11, aren't we? Typical.

There was definitely some rule that I saw it and thought, let's just throw a hat in the ring. Why not? But we couldn't. Damn it. I'm gutted about that. Also, we don't do our own podcast, do we? We have voice actors who come in and do this. Yeah, yeah. I got it. the weirdest sounding guy to do mine. The guy who's nominated, Fabrice Morvan, is up against a friend of yours, Dan, in the Grammy category. Have you taken the piss out of me? Is this a real friend?

It's someone you, I think, admire and someone I associate with you. Is it the guy who runs the Crab Museum in Margate? It's the guy who runs the Crab Museum in Margate. He's nominated. Oh, that's very good. Brian Blessed? Oh, they've both spent time in Tibet, I'd say. What? Is it she's in pink? Is it a yeti? It's the Dalai Lama. The Dalai Lama. Wow. Is it up for a Grammy?

Which I think at this stage would be a real Philip for his career. I think he needs that boost. Yeah. How wonderful. Yeah. It's got a lovely voice. Well, is it nicer than Fabrice Morven's voice? I wouldn't know. I don't think anyone's heard it. Alice Hill has sent in two facts to us. One is from personal experience. She said you can flip a breech baby while it's still inside the mum.

She's like, it's pretty common. Breach baby being... A breach baby is when the baby's facing the wrong way, when birth is about to happen. Bum first. Yeah. You want it the other way around. So you can, she says, literally massage the baby. Two doctors can do it and they can massage it 180 degrees into the right position for birth, which is amazing. So this is obviously someone who loves a bit of science, curious about the world.

Here's the actual fact she sent in. Years ago, I worked at a Christmas tree farm on a particularly hot summer's day, and I saw a bumblebee performing oral sex on another bumblebee. The receiving bee was laxed out, front arms up. holding some pine needles, front facing, bum forward. Other B, face deep. I'll never forget that sight. It was before the time of phone cameras, so alas, no photographic proof. How convenient.

I've since tried to research it online. A bit tricky, though, for obvious reasons. Maybe you guys can find out if it's a thing. Alice, I looked into it. It is absolutely not a thing. I don't know what you saw, Alice. I assume it was... Two humans in Bumblebee costumes. The holidays are expensive. You're paying for gifts, travel, decorations, food.

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Oh, yeah. Frey van der Vlert writes, why in most car commercials do you only see the following letters and numbers on the number plates? A. H. I-M-O-T-U-V-W-X-08. I think I worked it out. Is it kind of like a lot of... tv shows will use the same phone number because you don't want to use a license plate that's out there that's a good idea and those letters are not on any other license plate in the world exactly there you go

It can only be because they're all symmetrical. Yes. And so they must flip the footage or something. It's because... The image can then be mirrored to make the car drive on the correct side of the road, depending on what country the commercial is airing in. Very cool. Of course. This seems to be... I've looked into it a bit more. It seems to be true. And often you will see...

A car driving along in what is quite clearly Southern Europe. Yeah, quite often in Iceland or something. Yeah. And they're driving on the left-hand side of the road. Beautiful sun-drenched canyon. or you know majestic and it's just like it's it's clearly not the uk so i don't know how much good it does it's a really good fact yeah and a good question as well so thank you frey here's another one that is based on um roads yeah this is from alan mitchell

And Alan says he used to be a motorcycle instructor. And one fun question we used to ask is if anyone knew what the black horizontal line was on a crossing patrol sign like a lollipop. person would use on the round bit at the top it says stop children but then there's like a black lozenge in the middle of it okay uh and alan wonders what that was for oh in fact he knows what it's for he's told us it's gonna be for the drivers

Yeah, I read the email in the first place when it came into the inbox. Actually, this quiz is for one person in the stream only. Why would there be a black dot in the middle? Lozenge. Not a dot, a lozenge. That's, I'd say, essential, James. Yeah, the blackness is important. Like the sweetie. Yeah, like a long... Like a sausage. Like a sausage. Right. Why would there be a sausage on a lollipop, though? I'm just going to tell you. Yeah, I don't think I can get this. According to Alan...

It's a blackboard, and you would write down the number plates of vehicles who fail to stop. What? If you're a lollipop person. If you're a lollipop person. Yeah, yeah. And one of the cars doesn't stop. They've committed an offence, so you would write down the number plate. Yeah, yeah. Now, the main problem is it doesn't really make a lot of sense. No. But I've looked online.

And it's definitely often said that this is true. And usually it's the lollipop people who say it. I haven't found any sort of official source, like the Department of Transport or the Highway Code or anything like that that says that this is true. It's hard to see how it would be useful. Well, I frequently try when I'm out and about to remember a license plate that passes by. Yeah.

Yeah, just because I think I might be called on at some point to remember a license plate, you know, at short notice. Yeah, yeah. What if that car does commit an offense? Yeah. I'll need to... I'll need to say yes officer, I remember it very clearly. How many do you retain? I've got them all. Cool. Got to be 4,000 or 5,000 that I've memorized over the course of my life. One day that might come in useful. Absolutely, yeah. Please test me now.

uh november the 4th 2022 didn't spot any that day i i was at home you were sick yeah yeah try please another November 3rd, 2022. I was on holiday. Were you? Yeah. No cars? Where you went? I was on the Isle of Sarge. Beautiful place. Lovely. Yeah, yeah. No cars. No cars on Sark, famously. All right, well, story checks out.

The thing is, why not just have a notepad? Why write it on something where it might get washed off or whatever? If you need to keep hold of the license plate numbers, that is not the best place to put it. You might want to write it on there so that people... people can see it and it shames people, but who remembers anyone's number plate enough to be like, oh, that's... Well, I do, yeah.

obviously for you it would work but for most people it wouldn't so it's really interesting whether this is true or not certainly people who are involved in the community do think it's true but There is no real evidence and it's hard to see how it would make sense. Very interesting. So if you know the absolute certainty that this is true or not true, then do write into podcast.qi.com.

Very cool. I like it. I've got one that I can fashion into a question as well. This is from Sean Slater. He says, for every American president assassination, a Lincoln has been present. Certainly in the one where Abraham Lincoln was shot. He was there for that. Mary Lincoln was there, his wife. Yeah, and Abraham was there too. So you've got two Lincolns there. Okay, Garfield.

Yep. Was shot by that guy with a weird name, like a... Guito? Yes. Charles Guito? Charles Lincoln Guito. Yeah, that's correct. And Robert Todd Lincoln, who was Abraham Lincoln's son, was there. Oh, really? Okay. Yes. Um, McKinley? Was McKinley shot? McKinley, correct. McKinley was shot. Was there a Lincoln, a member of the Lincoln family was there? The same Lincoln, Robert Todd.

lincoln really really yeah he was even quoted later as saying i'm not going to any more events uh because it's got a certain fatality about it when i go and don't tell me jfk was driving in the lincoln He was in a Ford Lincoln Continental car. You got it. Wow. Very nice. That's a very fun quiz.

I think we must be getting towards the end of this now. I think so. I think let's switch over into friend of the podcast mode. And dedicate some facts to people who've joined on Patreon at the top tier. If you've joined a friend of the podcast, we would like to dedicate one of our facts to you. So let's dish out a few of those now. I'll kick off with one. Vicky. Congratulations to you. You are now the custodian of the fact that kangaroos have five legs. Bad luck, Vicky.

This is one of those rare ones where we just made stuff up. That's right No, it's that their tail is a fifth leg according to all sorts of tests They've put kangaroos on treadmills and they've they've done all sorts of science on it because they use it for walking Yes, they use it to propel themselves. Yeah. That's very good. That was a James Harkin fact, Vicky. Episode 19. Yeah. Congratulations.

Should I do one? Yeah. We've got an Anna Tashinsky fact to give out, and that's going to Ewan Taylor. And that fact is that during the financial crisis of 1720, Parliament called for stockbrokers to be stitched into sacks and thrown into the Thames. Wow. Yeah. Gosh. It's pretty wild, this fact. There's a bracket here, an extra bit of info for your fact, Ewan, which is that this was a speech by Lord Molesworth.

People who committed parasite were stitched into the sack with a rooster, a monkey, and a dog. I think that was an ancient Rome, wasn't it? Yeah. I don't think it was in 1720s London. Feels like that wouldn't be the case, would it? Yeah. I mean, it is 300 years ago, but that's... That feels like it had gone out of fashion. That was definitely an ancient thing. Okay, well, congratulations to you, Ewan. And the next one is now under the custodianship of Jen Sykes.

And Jen, this is your fact. It is that there are three times as many estate agents in the UK as members of the armed forces. Yes. Who could have brought that fact to the table? Who likes warfare? It's mine. It's my fact. Congratulations, Jen. This is a great fact. And excitingly, I imagine the ratio will have only improved if you're an estate agent or got worse if you're a member of the armed forces since then. Because this was about 10 years ago. So I don't think the army's...

doubled in size in the last 10 years. Was this the fact where Dan told us about how his wife made him hide his cocoa pops in the washing machine? Yeah. I feel like it was. Possibly. Because maybe you were selling your... your house and people would come round and your wife didn't want people to know that there was an adult in there who was eating cocoa pops yeah it possibly possibly is is then that was the wildest guess where

a game I've ever had to play in my house everything was not where it should have been because it is a risk it's a risk that if you have a viewing of your flat and someone opens the washing machine

Which they wouldn't do normally, but you never know. People look inside cupboards and things, and they look in and see Cocoa Pops, and they think, well, this person's very unstable, I'm not going to buy them. All you really do when you're buying a house is bang on the worktops a few times, and then hit the wall and go, oh, that's a supporting wall. Yeah.

if there's any ghosts you need to know about. Get out of there. Okay, here's another fact. And this one is one of my ones. It's going out to Brian Kelly. It's the fact that in medieval manuscripts, there are hundreds of drawings of snails and knights.

fighting each other, and nobody knows why. Oh yeah, I remember this one. It's really cool. In the margins of all these old books, there's these drawings of these battles going on. But it's just like a cultural meme, isn't it? Yeah. It's just sort of, that's the thing everyone's drawn in the last... in the books for the last 100 and 200 years. Oh, it's the 6-7 of its day, basically. 6-7 of its day.

Here's a fact that is now under the custodianship of Leah Smallacombe. It's that the most painful place to be stung by a bee is inside your nostril. Oh, yes. What a great fact. Yes. And that's because someone actually tried it out, right? Yeah. There was a student called Michael Smith who let bees sting him all over his body and rated which was the most painful. Things we do for science. What heroes. Well, how precise do you want to get with it, though? Because I don't know if this student...

said, right, so I've done testicle, but I've only done top of testicle. I'd better do mid-testicle, base of testicle, being stung by a bee. How scientific are we getting here? Probably there is work to be done from another scientist now. And building on Michael's work. That could be you. If you're at university and you're looking for something for your PhD, find yourself a B. Yeah, if it's not mid-blowjob, you can get it to...

Oh my goodness, I've just looked up Michael's study. He said he was carrying the work done by the Schmidt. Sting pain index, which is all about different kinds of insect. Michael's study said the pain was rated on a 1 to 10 scale relative to an internal standard, the forearm. So the forearm is your baseline. Okay. The three least painful locations were the skull, middle toe, tip.

and upper arm. The three most painful locations were the nostril, upper lip, and penis shaft. I mean, when you say penis shaft, it does imply that other parts... had been tried do you know what i mean otherwise he would just say penis yeah exactly Okay, well, here's another fact. This one is now under the custodianship of Stephen Winfield. Stephen, your new fact that you have to look after forsaking all others is this one.

Walt Disney's favorite breakfast was fresh donuts dunked in scotch whiskey. Lovely. Yes. Wowzers. That was one of mine. We had a great chat about Disney in that one. It was a fact, I think, James, that you found, which is the story that he went into cryogenics to look after his body so that he could be woken up one day. But you found...

That's not true. I think we all know that's not true. But what James found is that actually the one bit of his body that he did used to put on ice was his testicles. I don't remember this at all. I think it was you, James. It was after he deliberately had a bee stigma. The idea was, I think it was a fertility idea that when him and his wife were trying to conceive, they said, put your balls on ice. So he used to do that.

a lot yeah there is the theory which i don't think is true which is that disney's frozen was given that name so that when people google frozen disney they don't get stories of his cryogenesis it's a beautiful theory if it's not true like it's just a wonderful connection that someone's made and that's why the song let it go he's talking to the people who keep spreading this rumor he's like let it go guys let it go

i don't i think that's a you've built on the theory yeah the cold never bothered my testicles anyway okay we got time for a couple more yeah let's do a couple more this is going to beth it's an andrew hunter murray fact Shouting at drivers improves their driving. I stand by it.

Wash the road! That kind of stuff. Shouting at drivers improves. Was this presumably some kind of study? Yeah, it's a study in Kenya. They have lots of buses which crash quite frequently, or they certainly did at the time. And I think they put up stickers inside the buses saying, if your driver is driving erratically...

Please shout at them and go at them. It depends what they're shouting. What are they shouting? There's a tradition that has to be adhered by Japanese train drivers that I read about where they have to point at things while they're driving as a way of maintaining... their concentration really yeah so you would point to the sign and read it out as well i think right and the idea is that you just don't get monotonously kind of

half asleep because you're just doing the same thing over and over again. You have to go, Osaka. But surely driving a... high-tech Japanese train these days is much like brain surgery in that you just, you know, program in the destination and then you just sit back and fall asleep. You would think so. Yeah, you'd think. Yeah, there's more to it. Well, cool. Congratulations to Beth.

I'll do one. This one goes out to Ali ML. Ali, your fact is that the French used to call arsenic succession powder because it was used in so many murders. Yes. La poudre du succession. I'm not just... clumsily assuming that that's what it is i'm pretty sure that's what the french phrase is very cool yeah this was um it was ann miller's fact wasn't it because it was an area that she was particularly interested in at the time yes

And as we know, it's always wonderful to hear a Scottish person say murder. Murder. And will I say, she wasn't interested in murdering her husband. It was that she was into her crime. Well, not her first husband, who sadly passed away in an accident. And the second through fifth husbands as well. But now she's happy with Javier, and there's no need to refer to any of those.

Remarkably strange accidents. Anyway, so congratulations, Ali, that's a fact for you. And congratulations to all our fact custodians today. Beth... Ali, Steven, Leah, Brian, Jen, Ewan, and Vicky. Those of you who have signed up and haven't had your shout-out yet, it is coming. As I say, we've had a bit of a rush on. Sorry about that. We're going to try and do them as speedily as is decent, but also in a way that remains fun.

for you, the listener. If you would like to join as a friend of the podcast, just go to patreon.com slash no such thing as a fish and you can have a look there and for all sorts of things like ad-free episodes and bonus content and all of that. It's all there and it's a great club to be part of.

But that's it for this episode of Little Fish. We'll be back again in a week's time with another one. And we'll be back in three days' time with the main show. Unless, of course, you're doing Club Fish already, in which case there'll be a drop of the line. at some point in the next. So we'll see you soon is the point we're trying to make. Thanks very much for listening. We'll see you next time. Bye now.