Dethroning Lillian as fastest runner on the pod and Veronika as sole girl who went to high school in the C word (C*nnecticut), our guest this week is Shelby Farrell!! Shelby is a highly decorated ultra runner who has earned podium finishes at races all around the country, and she is also very smart and funny. We asked her important questions like what exactly is wrong with people who run past the marathon distance; what her menstrual cycle, and pooping schedules are like; how she integrates 420 ...
Oct 30, 2025•45 min•Season 1Ep. 29
What's this? A secret happy birthday episode about your favorite podcast host's favorite podcast host. BEHOLD: THE LIFE AND LORE OF VERONIKA!!! Happy birthday Veronika and happy October 26 to all who celebrate!
Oct 27, 2025•54 min
Three likes and Lillian will finally go back to school to become a sports trainer + physical therapist. 🥰 But first!!! Our friend's dog is kinda Ozempic patient zero, Veronika got her eyebrows done somewhere new, and we went to the gym together, yay. We then spend the rest of the episode analyzing a study featured in the book Lillian is reading that discusses father trauma in female athletes and essentially draws the conclusion that female athletes have a higher tendency to be gay. Uh, HELLO???...
Oct 23, 2025•45 min•Season 1Ep. 27
Otherwise known as The Girl Episode, because we spend the first half of it talking about our hair and the second half talking about anorexia. <3 We discuss the harrowing story of Karolina Krzyzak, which contains several threads personal to us (Eastern Europe and online pro ana communities masking as vegan/fitness ones, to name just two). If you are struggling with similar issues, there is help out there, and we encourage you to visit https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/ P.S.: Palate clean...
Oct 16, 2025•37 min•Season 1Ep. 26
Cocaine and private jets and sex with a royal, oh my — such is a day in the life of a student at Le Rosey, the most expensive boarding school in the world (!), of which Veronika’s dear friend Fos is a graduate. We grilled her on which designer bag she carried to school, the subtle nuances between American new money and European old money, how much Le Rosey prepared her for the real world, and, importantly, whether she’d ever consider sending her own kids to such an institution. For two gals as f...
Oct 09, 2025•43 min•Season 1Ep. 25
The one where I fat shame Lillian's water bottle for science (hehe, now you know which one of us is writing this description). Also in this episode: Luigi Mangione losing his touch; Pilates classes in maximum-security prisons; why men continue to follow up years later; Lillian's new bike from a polyamorous Burning Man attendee; how much I'd have to pay Lillian to smoke a cigarette; and, finally and profoundly, the lines between obsession, addiction, and religion.
Oct 02, 2025•37 min•Season 1Ep. 24
Did you guys know there's a NASA study from 2008 that shows the impact of smoking on VO2max? Us either, but click below to read it. We also debrief the fourth installment of Dear Diary (thank you for coming, if you did!!), the jeans Lillian lost earlier this year at Bathhouse being a size [REDACTED], having the face of a maternal dumpling vs. a Slav, being from a part of the world that's famous for manufacturing hot people, and our thoughts on the stereotype that Eastern European women are #cold...
Sep 25, 2025•34 min•Season 1Ep. 23
Welcome to our episode with writer, teacher, critic, and esteemed friend of the pod Olivia Crandall, who you may know from her smart and funny writing on reality TV at Vulture. We talk about the cultural touchstone that was lookbook.nu, turning input into output, cold pitching a piece to Man Repeller about the smell of her sweat, Internet celebrities of the 2010s, the personality types of people who seek out roles on reality television, and Olivia's middle school jump roping team. THANK YOU Oliv...
Sep 18, 2025•55 min•Season 1Ep. 22
Otherwise known as the episode in which Lillian uses Patti Smith and Nora Ephron in the same sentence. ❤️ The first half of this episode is something of a Swiftie Q&A, with Lillian giving Veronika a crash course in some basic Taylor tea (yes, this was recorded the day after she announced her engagement). If that's not for you, maybe you'll tune in to hear about Veronika's experience watching an Instagram video of her two plastic surgeons high fiving in the OR while she slept, vulnerable and ...
Sep 11, 2025•29 min•Season 21Ep. 21
An inbred cat, a missing AirPod, and a plumber all walk into a bar. Which of them loses their virginity in the back of a Waymo first? Listen to this episode to find out, ORRRR come and listen to us read at Stories in Echo Park at 6:30pm on Sunday, September 7. :) Also in this ep: Lillian thinking she's chronically ill any time she needs a nap, Veronika feeling earnestly held by her ancestors, our first Adidas brand trip, and being a multi-hyphenate artist and athlete e.g. Cody Simpson (yup)....
Sep 04, 2025•42 min•Season 1Ep. 20
This episode isn't that funny but it is emotional, profound, and touching, and if you are an immigrant or child of immigrants, and in particular of the Eastern European diaspora, you will probably enjoy it and find it relatable. We talk about Eastern European beauty standards, Pilates classes in Budapest, Jehovah's Witnesses pulling up on Lillian, snakes vs. rats, the pervasiveness of the Hungarian vizsla, Taylor Swift's podcast debut, and Lufthansa's caviar expenditure.
Aug 28, 2025•45 min•Season 1Ep. 19
We finally acknowledge the elephant in the room, the elephant being that Lillian's $10 Amazon Basics mic actually produces higher quality audio than Veronika's $400 Yeti mic (Jeff Bezos- 1 Yeti- 0). Also in this episode: Veronika's off-brand iPod (the Zune), brainless LinkedIn messages, getting hate messages from Beyoncé stans, the knowing glance exchanged between two Vibram Five Fingers wearers, and Lillian's walk with the Haim sisters.
Aug 21, 2025•46 min•Season 1Ep. 18
This episode is accidentally short — YOU'RE WELCOME. Recently carless Lillian regales us with the tale of how she lost her Waymo virginity, YAY. We also talk about having names that never appear on souvenir keychains (☹️), Veronika's foray into Tankair tank tops (!!!), misplacing nude drawings of oneself, and the infamous quagmire of what to do on the flight between New York and Los Angeles.
Aug 14, 2025•27 min•Season 1Ep. 17
In a bid to officially become the next emo nostalgia podcast, we discuss Max Bemis Song Shop AND Eliza Bleu/Gerard Way, before moving on to Lillian’s growing fascination with adultery (fueled by Astronomer CEO etc). Then, Veronika joyously gives Lillian the shock of her life by revealing that she has finally defeated her eating disorder… in the most unconventional of ways.
Aug 07, 2025•33 min•Season 1Ep. 16
This episode is no funnier than any of the others but for some reason Veronika laughs extra loud and shrill in this one. 🙄 Anyway, we talk about Ronald Reagan landing his helicopter on Lillian's high school football field (somehow not a euphemism), whether sunscreen is actually a scam, how to get steps in as a remote worker in Los Angeles, and of course our immigrant trauma. 😍 (Do you guys like the emojis? Byeeeee)
Jul 31, 2025•47 min•Season 1Ep. 15
After meeting in Echo Park to lift weights and buy Lillian’s dog Sochi a cow leg, we sit down to discuss our Wi Spa experience, the 7/6 Dear Diary reading at Stories, hacking in to our old Flickr and LiveJournal accounts, faking depression to fit in with the other emo kids, the age cutoffs for nudism on European beaches, what men do on Reddit, and getting scammed both religiously and secularly.
Jul 24, 2025•43 min•Season 1Ep. 14
After filling out the mortgage-type paperwork required to book a meeting room at the Los Angeles Public Library, we discuss Lillian’s most recent case of successfully convincing a huge corporation to give her her money back, followed by musings on the gayness of Wi Spa, whether it’s more embarrassing to be a 1975 stan or a Swiftie, getting high on emo bands throughout our teenage years, and the massive success of Budapest Pride (YAY).
Jul 17, 2025•35 min•Season 1Ep. 13
After watching both parts of the Alex Cooper documentary, we sit down in Lillian's new, stately west LA backyard to record No Matter, their far more successful podcast. We discuss Lillian's hot Russian movers, the after-school program she attended called "Aftercare," the viral Justin Bieber paparazzi video, the r/seduction game universe, and, of course, AI boyfriends.
Jul 10, 2025•42 min•Season 1Ep. 12
Lillian spent the first quarter of this episode reminding Veronika that not everything is in fact about her, which is fair, because this episode is actually all about our guest, Nico!! That's right — this episode features Nico, who is not only an Ivy League-educated healthcare professional but also the composer of our theme music. We discuss creative changes in the new season of Spongebob, "DoorDash" as a verb, who does more emotional labor for Lillian, needing to crack your knuckles while you'r...
Jul 03, 2025•35 min•Season 1Ep. 11
And by "me" we mean Claire, our friend who we are honored to have as the first ever guest on No Matter!! What happened (by Hillary Rodham Clinton) on this episode was that we discussed Claire's parents' decision to replace their fire-damaged couch with a white one, people who go to Barnard but say they went to Columbia, straight girls having crushes on other straight girls, and more.
Jun 26, 2025•32 min•Season 1Ep. 10
Ever been kicked out of an unbooked room by the librarian on duty at the West Hollywood Public Library? Us either, until the last few seconds of this episode. This week, Veronika comes around to the idea of sunscreen and Lillian comes around to the idea that in order to visit a certain acclaimed Thai restaurant in Sherman Oaks, she'll have to admit that Veronika told her about it first. We finish with a dramatic reading and analysis of Luigi Mangione's recently published gratitude list.
Jun 19, 2025•46 min•Season 1Ep. 9
Most of this episode is one of us applauding the other for trying ketamine, with the ketamine-doer reassuring the applauder that there's no reason to have ketamine-fomo. Which one of us is which? Listen to find out! (Al-Anon anyone?) Also in this episode: the Ellen Pompeo Erewhon airport fiasco, Veronika pulling her pec at Acropilates, Lillian's visit to the Madonna Inn, paranormal reality TV shows, dry shaving in middle school, and some shameless promo for Veronika's reading series, Dear Diary....
Jun 12, 2025•49 min•Season 1Ep. 8
This episode starts with a 10 minute long discussion about Eugenia Cooney and eating disorders — if that could be triggering for you, please don’t listen or skip to the 10 minute mark! Anyway, we then move on to more lighthearted topics like who actually listens to Lorde, Veronika’s resistance to an Australian accent, Netflix’s Maid vs. MTV’s Made, Tumblr photography and bedroom pop music, and the shock one feels when their crush gets a bad haircut.
Jun 05, 2025•43 min•Season 1Ep. 7
This week on the pod: Russian Pippi Longstocking drug propaganda, running up your parents' phone plan calling people from Neopets, the Knicks playing basketball in the same room where The 1975 and Harry Styles play music, and the big screen television on Nicki Minaj's tour rider. Phew.
May 29, 2025•41 min•Season 1Ep. 6
What happens when you get spat on by a stranger on the subway? NOTHING. What happens when you drop your phone on the 6 train tracks? Keep listening to find out ;) Also in this ep, your favorite "pod wives" dissect the difference in metabolism between a New Yorker and an Angeleno, “doing life” with an enormous dog e.g. Lillian’s Sochi, Southern food options on Veronika’s upcoming family vacation, a real-life “we saw you from across the bar and we like your vibe,” and MORE.
May 23, 2025•39 min•Season 1Ep. 5
We talk about the subtle nuances between restaurants in London, New York, and LA. Other topics: running into people you know at 12 step meetings, Lillian's strict financial and aerobic criteria for workout classes, ethical issues with Armie Hammer and Andrew Huberman, and how many pull-ups Lillian can actually do.
May 15, 2025•41 min•Season 1Ep. 4
Exactly what it sounds like: Lillian flew to New York to attend the Luigi Mangione trial with Veronika. We do a detailed postmortem and also discuss our larger relationship with fangirldom/stan culture.
Apr 17, 2025•40 min•Season 1Ep. 3
We cover a variety of sobriety-related topics, namely does drinking make it easier to get a boyfriend. After trying to convince sober Lillian to begin drinking hard and fast, Veronika explains how and why she was laid off from her 12 step program. We then conclude that nothing is wrong with either of us and do some preliminary planning around Lillian’s upcoming trip to New York (foreshadowing for the next ep).
Apr 17, 2025•30 min•Season 1Ep. 2
For our inaugural episode, we discuss whether hugging is sexual, why we refuse to touch each other, Lillian's relationship with dairy, the perfect neg, Veronika's shock upon learning that someone she met at a party didn't like her, the dangers of childrearing in Brooklyn, and the future liberals want.
Apr 17, 2025•28 min•Season 1Ep. 1
