It looks like our number has come up. Andre and Jake are back to talk MR. MONK GETS LOTTO FEVER! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you happen to die sometime soon (as in, before this podcast ends), and a medium contacts you, instead of telling your loved ones that you are all right, tell them to listen to this podcast.
You are very smart for listening to this episode. Andre and Jake are here to talk MR. MONK AND THE GENIUS! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Build a time machine, go back to Ancient Egypt, and get a scribe to write a recommendation to this podcast in hieroglyphics.
It's the beginning of season 7, so Andy B and Jake C put a down payment in on a forever home to talk MR. MONK BUYS A HOUSE! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are a demon/ghost currently terrorizing an innocent family, next time you write them a message in blood, make it "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN, STRICTLY MONKIN."
Your friends Andre and Jake finish out season six strong with MR. MONK IS ON THE RUN - PART 2! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Commit a heinous crime, get convicted, and when it's your turn to speak at your sentencing hearing, instead of repenting, recommend this podcast to the judge, attorneys, and any onlookers.
Your friends Andre and Jake are back from a brief hiatus to discuss part one of the season six finale: MR. MONK IS ON THE RUN! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Next time you go to a baseball game, instead of wishing someone a happy birthday on the Jumbo-Tron, ask them to put up a recommendation to this podcast.
A picture says a thousand words. And a podcast says at least two-thousand. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK PAINTS HIS MASTERPIECE. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Engrave the words "Listen to No Funkin, Strictly Monkin" onto a small piece of metal of some kind. Swallow that piece of metal. Go to the hospital and when they do an X-ray, say to the technician, "Maybe you should do what the piece of metal says."
I got bad news if your name is Julie Teeger - you have to listen to this podcast! Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK AND THE THREE JULIES! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie In the spirit of this episode, find someone on Facebook with your exact name and recommend this podcast to them.
We'd like to make a deposit: this podcast into your ears. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK GOES TO THE BANK! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are a producer on that new Game of Thrones prequel thing, get a Dothraki character to recommend this podcast in the Dothraki language.
In lieu of Kool-Aid, drink this podcast up! We're talking MR. MONK JOINS A CULT! Follow the show: @thejakechristie Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Get someone in the $25 range on Cameo to record a recommendation to this podcast. The less-related to Monk, the better.
It would have been a silent night if not for the chopper singing out. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK AND THE MAN WHO SHOT SANTA! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie I'll make this one simple. Mother's Day is coming up. Give your mother the gift of this podcast (unless she is offended by *repeated* mentions of cuckolding).
Pound another cup of coffee, because you're not hitting the hay any time soon. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK IS UP ALL NIGHT! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you do the bottom ticker on CNN, please slide in a recommendation for this podcast in between stories of Trump cronies admitting to crimes.
Monk may have gotten the wrong man, but you've got the right podcast. Listen to Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE WRONG MAN! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are a PhD student working on your dissertation, include this podcast in your acknowledgements. The worst thing that can happen is the people reading it listen to an episode.
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's... a podcast! Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE DAREDEVIL! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you work at a CVS, add a recommendation to our podcast onto your receipts. They're so long, corporate won't notice.
X marks the spot and the spot is this podcast. Andre and Jake are back to talk MR. MONK AND THE BURIED TREASURE! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are a video game developer, please make the cheat code that gives you infinite lives be "STRICTLY MONKIN."
When a man loves a TV show very much, he asks his online friend to do a podcast where they watch all of it. This is that podcast. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK AND THE BIRDS AND THE BEES. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Find a low-tier NASCAR team in need of sponsorship money and pay to get our logo onto their car.
Breaking up is hard enough without a murder involved! Jake and Andre talk MR. MONK AND THE BAD GIRLFRIEND! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If and only if you are Charles Xavier, go into Cerebro and beam a recommendation of this podcast to every mutant on earth.
It's neither of our birthdays, but we got our birthday suits on (not really) to talk MR. MONK AND THE NAKED MAN! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Obviously they can't listen to podcasts in prison, but if you have a prison inmate pen pal, recommend this podcast to them to listen to when they get out.
Word. Word. Word. Here's the 4-1-1 (that means "information"), Andre and Jake drop the mic to talk MR. MONK AND THE RAPPER! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie I know you're told to call your congressperson a lot these days, and while I don't think you should call them JUST to recommend this podcast, if you're calling them to, say, speak out against horrible voting laws or anti-trans legislation, throw in a recommendation to the staffer who ...
We'll sign autographs, but no photos! Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK MEETS HIS BIGGEST FAN! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are a professional psychic, (1) stop lying to people, and (2) tell them that the tarot card they pull means that they have to listen to this podcast.
You've gotta listen to this podcast, stat! Andre and Jake's vitals are stable so they talk MR. MONK GOES TO THE HOSPITAL. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you happen to know a gorilla that does sign language, recommend this podcast to him or her (in sign language).
What a wonderful coincidence! In this episode, Monk gets hooked up to the World Wide Web, and you're *accessing* this episode on the World Wide Web! We're talking MR. MONK AND THE REALLY. REALLY DEAD GUY! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you find yourself in a room with the actual Declaration of Independence, please, in the section where they complain about King George, add a bullet point about how he never listened to this podcast, an...
YEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWW! Andre and Jake get to giddyin' up and talk MR. MONK VISITS A FARM! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are getting divorced/separated and announce it via a Notes app screenshot on Instagram, find a way to plug this podcast in the note. I know it will probably be hard to do, but it would mean a lot.
Long time listener, first time caller: Andre and Jake talk about MR. MONK IS ON THE AIR! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are the Zodiac Killer, please make a cypher where the solution is "LISTEN TO NO FUNKIN, STRICTLY MONKIN" and send it to the San Francisco Chronicle.
Podcaster is an outdated term. We prefer to be called "House Managers" these days. We're talkin' MR. MONK IS AT YOUR SERVICE! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie I'm gonna make this one simple: if you do embroidery, embroider a recommendation to this podcast on a pillow for your aunt.
You've got a friend in this podcast. Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK MAKES A FRIEND. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are the president of a prestigious university, change your school's motto to whatever "No Funkin, Strictly Monkin" is in Latin.
Don't send us away to a colony - we're merely talking about a leper. That's right, Andre and Jake talk MR. MONK AND THE LEPER. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are trying to launch the newest cryptocurrency, please call it StrictlyMonkin Coin.
Like father, unlike son. Andre and Jake are talking MR. MONK MEETS HIS DAD! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you are a librarian, cover those racist Dr. Seuss drawings with Wite-Out and then write over them, "Listen to No Funkin, Strictly Monkin."
For those about to podcast, we salute you. Andre and Jake are back to talk MR. MONK GOES TO A ROCK CONCERT! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie Pick a random Wikipedia page, and edit it to have a recommendation to this podcast. But make sure it doesn't stick out too much. Like, if you're editing the page for Niagara Falls, add a paragraph like, "Many locals consider listening to the sounds of the Falls to be quite enjoyable. Speaking of othe...
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. You'll go through all of those feelings while listening to us talk MR. MONK GETS A NEW SHRINK! Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you happen to still be in high school, next time you sign a school yearbook, instead of writing, "Have a Great Summer," write "Listen to No Funkin, Strictly Monkin."
Reunited and it feels so good! Except for, you know, the murder victim. We're talking MR. MONK AND THE CLASS REUNION. Follow the show: @strictlymonkin Follow Andre: @andrebarrera Follow Jake: @thejakechristie If you're Catholic, recommend this podcast to your priest during confession. I (Jake) was raised Catholic, but I haven't done confession in [checks watch] almost 15 years, so I can't remember if this would be frowned upon. It's worth a try, though.
