FROM THE VAULT: Why Ada Nicodemou Stayed

You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast is recorded on Hello, I'm in your ears twice in a week. How lucky are we both? I have had so much feedback on the Aida Nicodemo interview. A lot of you have asked to hear the first conversation we had,

Yep? Yeah, time. I don't have to be there till twelve. I've got a really good week this week, where like it's annoying because I've got three days of location, so a lot of driving to Palm Beach to Palm Beach, but today's like two scenes. Yesterday was one scene, So I spent most of my day driving and listening to Mama me.

Ada is still playing the character of Leah. She's still living in Summer Bay, and she's stayed in that same job for one very good reason. My name is Mia Friedman, and you're listening to No Filter, an interview podcast from Mama Maya with people who tell their stories very candidly and aren't afraid to be vulnerable. In the year two thousand, Aida Nikodimou joined the cast of Home and Away, Australia's

I feel like it's what I'm going through at the moment. If I was being honest with you, loss just really shit.

And the big fat Book of Greek rules.

You can't wash your hair when you got your period.

Here's my chat with Aida Nicodemo. You've worked since you were a kid. You grew up in a family business and you just worked school holidays. How old were you when you started working in the shop.

Oh, like, well from two weeks old. I was in the shop. Yeah, and I was like counting back money, you know before like I went to school, like I knew how to sort of count back change and all that. So I've always worked and working, and I like business and I like people, And even when I'm at home, I just don't relax a lot. I'm pretty bad at just sitting down unless I just read a book or something like that. But otherwise I just potter around the house. I love cleaning. I'm one of those.

Freaks you like to clean.

I've head, Yeah, I love cleaning. I love a tidy house.

Do you listen this podcasts while you clean?

I don't, Actually, I don't do that.

A lot of people say that makes cleaning easier, but you just don't want anything to distract from the pure joy of the cleaning itself.

You are, so, yes, that's exactly right. I find it's really my happy place. I really love to just potter around the house and move pillows and.

Make order and order.

Yeah, rearrange my pantry.

A psychologist would say, did you have quite a chaotic childhood? I know your parents divorced when you're about for ten. Yeah, and I've heard you say that you were happy when they divorced. Yeah.

I was happy. Yeah, it was a pretty yet that they always fought. I feel like I was always stuck in the middle. I was probably the adult a lot of times looking after my parents. And I had a happy upbringing. It wasn't like, I mean, I got everything that I wanted. My parents were loving, but I just never felt I guess, not so much safe, but there was a lot of instability because of their arguing. Yeah. I was very aware of both of their emotional states. So yeah, when Mum sat me down and said we're

Oh, that's rough. Yeah, what happened at your wedding, Well, I didn't.

Invite my dad to my wedding, and I feel I felt really at the time, I just thought that's what I had to do because I was doing the right thing by Mum, because that wasn't my dad left the country and wasn't there for us.

So it's not like you they shared custody of your No.

No, no, no, they didn't. No, No, my mom did it. Mum is an amazing woman. She's my hero. She brought us up and I think we're quite well adjusted people because of Mum. But I did feel like I wasn't able to.

Invite he felt like disloyal.

Yeah, so I didn't. And it wasn't until I remember after I got married and I saw my daddy came to Australia and I saw him, and you know, he was very upset that I didn't invite him and whatever.

Yeah, the Big Greek Book of Family Discipline. Yeah, what would most people not know about growing up in a Greek family and a Greek household.

Oh, there is a lot of rules. Like I thought you were about to say the Greek Book of Rules because I always joke about.

Well, yeah, the Big Greek Book of Rules. What's in that Big Greek Book of rules?

Everything from you know, housework to when you've got your period. You know, lad's lift anything heavy. You can't go into a Greek church when you're hanging clothes on the line. You know the pegs. I think that the little stuff is inside on the hills hoist and the big stuff's on the outside, and the pegs match, and you know fasting. I mean, there's so many stupid rules where I don't know. You can't wash your hair when you've got your period.

Why I don't know.

I don't actually know. Like so I'm going, I don't actually know. So I christened my goddaughter, my brother's daughter, on Sunday, and I've got to go today and wash her because she's had all the oil from the church and she hasn't been able to be washed for three days, and because mom's in hospital. I said, so, Mum, what do I need to do? She says, yell, you wash Sophia, and then don't tip the bath water anywhere where you're walking.

Don't question it.

So that's how I grew up. There's a lot of rules that I have brought into my life that I don't know why I have them. I save a lot of money, that's a good rule. I have a lot of stability in my life where I can. Yeah, I don't know.

What about boys and dating and things like that.

That was that wasn't allowed?

Did it stop you though?

So I did have a boyfriend. I was fourteen. We're going on a school camp and I'd never kissed a boy before and We're on a train and Jack and everyone else was like, okay, so we're all gonna have a kissing company titian. I'm like, great. So I just thought a kissing competition meant that who kissed for the longest. So I just thought it meant I just like a peck,

So did you wait until you were married?

No?

Because buying it after? I imagine you had to kiss on screen at even Heartbreak Higher and Break It. Did you have to kiss in those shows? Yeah?

I did, yeah, yeah, and it wasn't my first kiss, but I was really nervous about it, yeah, because also because Mum would see it, and also I was just kissing him people, and I think it was probably only my second kiss.

Actually, how old were you?

Sixteen?

Was your mum worried about you becoming an actor because of this kind of thing?

Yeah? So mom didn't want me to become an actor. So I was always like the kid that you know, always a performer and whatever, And I got myself to these auditions and wanted to be an actor. And when I got the job because I had to leave school, I was sixteen. I was doing Your eleven going into year twelve I think it was, and Mom's like, well, you know you're gonna have to do correspondence or so she was okay with it, but so she wasn't okay with it. But she's like, you know, you have to

So your mom obviously really like had to struggle past her own views because migrant families want stable professions for their kids generally, right, Yeah, and acting in the arts, no, it's not not stable.

Yeah.

Was she very nervous not just about your was characters promisecuity, but just about your future prospects. Did she want you to have a backup career?

Yeah, well my mom I always told my mom I was going to be a lawyer. I was quite good at school. I was getting good grades. So I was only going to do Heartbreak for a year and do school through correspondence, and then I was going to go to university. I ended up doing it for three years, so I postponed university. And then when I wanted to

Because for most people it's not not for you know, maybe five percent or probably maybe even one percent as the kind of career you have. Where have you had that any stretches of unemployment as an actor only teenager, I stopped working as an actor eventually after Heartbreak, I thought I'm going to go and leave and do something else, so I studied because I wanted something stable, and I still didn't.

Know whether I wanted to act. I still don't know whether I want to act. I always go I'm acting at the moment. I don't know whether it's something I'll continue to do. And maybe that is because I like something stable, I don't know what it is, or I feel like I don't know. I never feel like I'm that good at it, or I just I just feel like it's something that I've done naturally, but I haven't trained for it. And you know, someone's going to realize that I'm.

Not that great and impost syndrome.

Totally have imposter syndrome. I think all of us do what I've realized when I talked to everyone, that everyone has it. But my partner is a CEO, very successful, and he's got it as well, like we all do. So I left to do I did a travel and tourism course, but I was going to be an event planner, so I did that for a year and then we've.

Been very tidy events that would have looked amazing.

Amazing, and also the growing.

Up afterwards very efficient, completely thorough totally, but.

I actually hated it because I had an office job and I got up at the same time, I caught the same bus, the same train, lunch out at the same time. I thought, this is so boring because I was so used to just instability. Every day's different, every day's different. So I realized I really liked it. And then I got back into acting and ever since I went back into I did Breakers, then I got Home and Away, and I've been acting ever since. The only

When did the feeling of God, I hope my contract's renewed? When did that go away? Because for every actor, I imagine, do you come on it first with Home and Away for a guest spot of a few months or is it a annual contract? How does it work?

So most people get thirteen so you're asked for like a three year contract, but it's a thirteen week option, and so that's what I initially when I got asked to go on. So I was quite lucky because I was working on a show called Breakers, and they really liked my characters. So when that got canned, they wrote my characters on Home and Away for me, So that was quite lucky. But I had such a bad experience on Breakers doing a soap.

Why was it bad?

Oh, it was just it wasn't a great show to work for. No one wanted to be there. It was really disorganized. We'd be on for a few weeks, then it would be off. There was a lot of problems within the cast. There was addictionation, there was a whole lot of stuff that was going on behind the scenes that wasn't really pleasant.

How long were you on that show? For?

Two years? Two or three? I think nothing two But I just hated it and I didn't really enjoy it.

But it was well paid and it was stable.

It was a job. It was a job, and I was an actor, so what was it? And I was living out of home at that point, so I was young. Yeah. So when that finished, I was like, what am I going to do? And then Home and Away came up and said, you know, we'll write this part for you said, oh great, so but I'll only do it. I think I said I'd only.

Do it for a year in case it was like Breakers.

Yeah, yeah, And then I got on the show and it was nothing like Breakers. It's such a beautiful show to work on. The people really make the show, like they just everyone's just so love. It's a real family. I felt really stable. I loved what I was doing. It was a really it was a hard time in my life because of my personal life. So Home and Away just was just a happy place to go to every day. So I loved it. And I've been there for two anyone years, Like I've always loved the show.

That's I guess every actor's fear on a long, long running show. I was gonna ask if you feel now that you've the power balance has shifted that you're just like, yeah, I have status and I have power in this situation, and they need me as much as I need a job.

I don't feel like that. And the only thing that has shifted now is I go I just missed being at home with Jonas I just ever since COVID, ever since we had Lockdown, and I was at home with him, and I realized what I'm missing out on. I'm like, oh, if I could just find a bit more balance. Yeah, And I've never felt like that before. I've always liked work, work, work, work, as so as this rush to pay off the mortgage

Learn where the gate is.

Yeah, I do want to learn where the gate is. I do. And I want to stop asking him what uniform today is.

Oh no, that will never happen. Really, I don't think it will ever happen. I mean I don't know. But you know, you also like working. My mom said a really wise thing to me when each time I have gone on maternity leave and had a baby, I've completely lost my ambition for about a year and I haven't

And we cooked together and you know, we did arts and crafts, and we walked in the rain and it was just so lovely, you know. So it was a very I mean, I know it was so hard for so many people, but I really loved it.

It really suited some people.

Yeah, and look, you know I wasn't in a tiny apartment, you know, and the weather.

Was beautiful and you weren't worried that you were going to lose your job.

No, I knew we were going back.

I think the people who lots of different people did it tougher. But in terms of parents at home, I think parents with really little kids, yeah, that was hard. Man. Oh Toddler entertained inside for eight weeks. Holy moly. So how many days a week do you work or is it different every week depending on the script.

It's different every week, but it tends to be five sometimes six. Last year during COVID, we were doing six. Why six because we had to work Saturdays, because we had the eight weeks off, we had catch up to do, so we were doing six, so there was like two studios. It was crazy. It was crazy. The crew worked so hard. We were all a mess by the end of the year. But we caught up. We're pretty much caught up.

What sort of hours?

Okay, so my average day is probably I'd get to make up about six if I'm in studio, and I probably finished about seven, and Jonas goes to better.

Seven at night.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, And it's like pretty much going the whole time. Like you might have the scene, not a few scenes off here or there, or you can be traveling from studio and location and studio and location about an hour and a bit away from each other, and sometimes you can be going to and from. So a lot of my day can just be driving.

Is that pretty much the only time you get to be by yourself?

Yeah?

Yeah, because six till seven being around other people, even if they're lovely people, that's lot you obviously quite extroverted.

No, I'm actually I'm an introverted extrovert. Yeah, And the older I get, the more I really miss my time. That's why I love going for walks. But that's why I love my car, because my car is just me in my thoughts. And you don't as a mom, do you.

Yeah?

No.

And I was going to say, if you're in a scene with someone and you're driving from the studio to location or someone from the crew, do you have to give them a lift or do you feel like you should offer them a lift?

No, because everyone tends to drive or they get driven, Like unless it's like my friend Lynn or someone and she isn't driving in my work life, Yeah, then I'll give her a lift. But otherwise no, it's just I'll just get there. What I do hate like as much as sometimes I should be getting a driver because we can get a driver, I don't have to talk because I can't just be in a car and not talk like Adam. My partner hates it because we'll get in an uber and I'm like, so, how is your day?

But it's funny you say that, how much of it do you think? That's because people know who you are, and you feel the need to lift to their expectation of totally. How does Jonas manage when you're out in public.

Oh, he's getting to the point now where he's pretty excited about it, And I'm going to say, no, he loves it, because I am always trying to shelter that kid from everything. My son is exactly how I was when that I was that age. But the difference is now we've got YouTube and we've got all of this stuff. So if Jonas could be the center of attention all the time, Jonas would be. I don't let him watch to look at Instagram because he's like, how many likes? How did like? He's all about he.

Likes the reflected glory of your family.

He does. And he'll go to school and will say, my mom's famous. Do you know I was famous? I was in the Morning Show once. I'm like, oh my god, this.

Is so rossing.

So I try and shelter him from a lot of that stuff. But whenever someone comes up, You're like, Mum, they know you, what do they know you from? They just know me from TV, you know. And I always tell him, like, fame's not that important. What's more important is that I work hard, you know, I provide for you. But he he's got massive TV eyes. I took him to a premiere once. He just took over the red carpet. Oh.

Yeah, it's famous for doing something, and you're a working actress. That's why you're famous exactly.

Yeah.

Before today, I went back and reread an interview from a couple of years ago by Ellen Pompeo, the star of Gray's Anatomy. It was an interview that made a lot of news because she's been doing that show for about as long as you've been doing Home in Away, about twenty years. She's the star of that show. But she spoke very candidly about a lot of things about the power that she has in being sort of the

Yeah, it was a choice I made. And I love television and I love stability, and you know, it's afforded me a great life, and it's meant that, you know, I have been here in this country and at home as much as I came with Jonas, I did want a big family, and I wanted to always be in this country, and I love this country, and I couldn't imagine bringing up a child overseas. I think for me, I just think it'd be too hard, like hustling all the time for different roles and being out of work.

There's two types of burnout. There's the burnout from working really long hours, yeah, which it sounds like you do. There's also the burnout for creative peace of doing the same thing again and again, which can feel quite exhausting. Have you experienced those two different types of burnout and how do you manage them?

I feel like it's what I'm going through at the moment. If I was being honest with you, I do feel like I am tired because I'm just working so much. I haven't stopped for years, so I am feeling very tired. I feel like I just need to stop for a bit, you know, so I can be a bit more creative now. In saying that, the good thing about Home and Away is that because there's so many storylines, you are doing

Yeah, I'm mea Friedman and you're listening to No Filter with Ada Nikodemo. No one has a baby thinking that they're not going to be with them full time. Yeah, And when you and Chris split up, how did you adjust to not having him with you sometimes, because I mean, you guys are so close.

Yeah, it was really hard. I just I didn't know what to do with myself. I used to just walk around the house like feeling at a loss and not knowing what to do. And I was quite depressed because also I was just so depressed anyway, But I just didn't want to see my friends. I just felt like a part of me just was missing. But then then what happens is what because once you do have kids, you realize you don't have any time to yourself.

Especially as a single pairs.

As a single pair, I started going, this is actually amazing. I could exercise, I could see my friends, I could go shopping. So now I got to a really good balance from me. I really loved you, and I love my time with you, but I love my time by myself as well.

How old was he when Adam came into his life?

Oh, Madam and I've been together. I think Adam and I've been together four years.

How did you meet?

So? A Channel seven function? Actually at the upfronts you know what upfront? Yeah?

So so it's a big fancy do where the television station presents to all the potential advertisers all the shows they've got coming up.

For the next ye. Yeah, and look, I didn't want to go and I wasn't a grap like I hadn't literally gone out for a year. I was severely depressed. I just didn't want to see.

How long ago had you become single probably about a year, and I hadn't been doing much data.

No, like men physically repulsed me, like I didn't want anyone to come near me. I think no one did come to me because I was super attractive, you know, like get away from me. I didn't want anything to do with them. But the outfronts were happened to be in the studio next to us at home, and and actually I had to go and clear my managers, like literally, all you've got to do is walk next door, just go show your face and leave. I'm like all right, and something in me went, look, I feel like I

Sense it works, bonus points, and it work.

So I did get them sent, and he wrote me this really lovely card and asked whether I would just go out for coffee or anything. And I thought, look, I don't want to do that, but I thought I'd just ring him up because it's just the polite thing to do, because he went to Sweden.

Didn't you want to do that?

Because I just didn't want to see anyone. I just wasn't in a state. So anyway, I rang him up, and you know, we just got talking and then I thought, I'll buger it. I'll just go out on a date with him. But I had my sister in law waiting, like not far just in case. I didn't really want to be there. I just was touched. He was just such a general. He stood up like I went to go to the bathroom and he stood up like have you ever had a guy do that? I see, I never had a guy do that. You know, I never

How did you feel about introducing him to Jonas.

Took about a year. We didn't introduce him straight away, and it was actually Adam's decision. It was really lovely. He said, look until we know where we are. He had gone through that with his mum, where he'd been introduced to guys and then they didn't sort of stick around, and he didn't want to do that for Jonas. So we waited until we were ready. And when we introduced him, yeah, so's he's such a lovely guy. He's a real gentleman. He loves Jonas like he loves Jonas like his own.

I want to ask you about Harrison. Is that all right?

Yeah, that's okay.

Before you and Chris split, you were pregnant again. Jonahs must have been pretty young.

Yeah, we lost him, actually did Yeah, we lost him. Think well, by the time I lost him, he was just too I think, so he was pretty young. Harrison was a hard pregnancy. It was unexpected, it wasn't planned, and because Jonas was IVF, so I didn't realize I could fall pregnant naturally, and it came at a really hard time because Chris and I were already separate. Things were never good with christ and I was a terrible relationship and we were not doing well at that point

How did you find out, Ladaris and it had passed away?

The doctors. Yeah, the doctors told me, Yeah, did.

You have to make the choice between giving birth and having a cesarean?

Yeah?

I had going through labor.

Yeah, I had a caesar. What made you decide that I didn't want to feel anything. It's all such a blurmy like, I don't actually remember a lot of it, to be honest with you. But I didn't want to feel anything. I didn't think I wanted to see him. And I'm so glad I did see him, but I didn't think i'd wanted to see him. I ended up seeing him and holding him for quite a long time,

It's just completely shit. It's just really show. Yeah, there's no way of making it not shitn.

And and also I think I don't think I should ever be okay with Adam says, I punish myself sometimes with going. I have to always feel shit just so I remember him and I think that that's actually okay. Does Yeah, Yeah, you feel like that too.

Yeah. And I for a long time, I was like because I was also pregnant at a really difficult time. No. I remember thinking it's because I didn't want her enough and because I felt ambivalent about it, and you know that feeling. And you do feel like I had one job and that was to bring my baby into the world and I failed.

Oh. I feel like my body's failed me so many times. Like I had a miscarriage before Jonas, and that was in a time when no one talked about miscarriage. I didn't, so I just woulent what is wrong with me? And I think there has been Like even after Harrison, I just didn't want to have a baby. I didn't want, Like I just don't want. I didn't want to go through that again and I didn't. Yeah, I just wasn't ready. Now I probably would be ready, but I'm forty four

Adam talked about it, Yeah, did you have because he doesn't have kids? No, he own does he?

No, he doesn't. And I would want to have a baby for Adam, and I think Adam would. I think if it happened, it happened, and I would be ready to do that now. But I can't guarantee how I would be during the pregnancy. I don't know.

It's ahead it's a really mentally challenging experience. I mean, you've been pregnant after a miscarriage, so you know a little bit of what it's like. Yeah, But I remember talking to my friend Rebecca Sparrow when the news came out about Harrison, and I remember your very close friend at the time, Becky Hewett, was pregnant, and I remember back when I talked about that that was going to be an extra layer of toughness for you.

Yeah, it was. I had another friend of mine who was pregnant and we're both do around the same time, and she came to the funeral and I could see she was just so nervous, and I really felt for her at that point because I know she was trying to make a real effort. And then I was trying to make an effort to make her feel better. But then after she had the baby and then she was like still weird around me. Then I started get really angry because I'm like, stop making it weird for me.

That age, that age he would have been.

Absolutely every time I see the name Harrison every obviously.

I've been seven. Yeah, yeah, Do you mark the day he was born? Do you mark the day he was meant to be born? I always found it very hard, and for a while I marked every anniversary, and then I was like, I can't do this, like five or six, and then I'd forget and then I'd feel terrible.

What day do you mark? I mark the day that we actually had him at the seventh. Yeah, but it's always a really hard, lonely day for me because I've got and I don't like talking about it with anyone. I don't like going to the grave with anyone very it's a really private thing, and I don't because Mums always wanted to go with me, and I'm like, I don't want to have to think about you, and I kind of don't want anyone to see me like that as well.

Yeah, you can, even the other parent doesn't grieve in the same way you do. It's such a solitary experience. I found the most solace from other women who'd been through it. Beck helped me a lot, even though it had happened quite a few years before, I hadn't really processed it. I just sort of stuck it in my pocket, and in helping her, she actually helped me a lot.

Well. I did a lot of therapy after Harrison, and my therapist was amazing and she actually there was a lady working in that same center who'd had a steelborn and she brought her in for a session and she goes, just ask a whole lot of questions. Both of you just ask a lot of questions, and I did, and that really that was the first time that I felt good about seeing him, and I just asked.

Her, see, I'm so envious that you got to see him, because it was to a like I had a procedure. She wasn't far enough for long to have a caesar, so there was nobody And I'm just like, it's not a weird thing to be jealous of. I'm so jealous that you got to hold your dead baby. No.

I totally understand that though, No, because.

It's all on a spectrum, isn't it.

Yeah.

Yeah, And I think it's something that only other women who've been through it can understand.

Yeah.

Yeah, How did you feel different the first miscarriage, which was what early in the pregnancy, and then with Harrison.

I feel like I've got over the first miscarriage, and I feel like because it was so early on and I just think the baby wasn't meant to be. I don't know, like it was just I don't At the time, I felt guilty, But then I had Jonas and I had such a beautiful experience. Now I feel guilty about Jona's not having a brother. It is just something so awful that has totally changed who I am as a person that I just could never come back from.

There's a type of grief that I think from losing a pregnancy or a baby that is only not healed. But there's a stage of healing that can only happen after you have another baby after that time, and if it's the last pregnancy that you have and you haven't had another child that you've been able to hold in your arms after that, I think that that makes it's another level.

And I think it's also changed me as a mother, as in I always thought like I was always been very maternal, and I wanted two to three kids, and I always wanted to be pregnant. I tried so hard to be pregnant after Harrison. I didn't want anything to do with pregnancy.

It was too painful case it happened again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I think it's changed me that.

Which is funny because the other way to go is that you get obsessed with getting here again and putting that baby back or putting a baby back, which is how I was afterwards.

I think I was for a few years.

Yeah, yeah, you're right. I was after my miscarriages, but not after that happened. Then I just wanted to be alone and you know.

Yeah, and it's look, I think it's good that we're all talking about it because it is so common and for a long time I couldn't talk about it, and I still hate it. I hate it in the media every time, every time an article was written about me, they bring up Harrison, and I'm like, don't you know how much that hurts.

I know that's why I was no, no, no, But this is.

No no, this is different because this is obviously a very different form. But if you're talking about you know, the stupid like what was our new idea? Oh, he is getting pregnant at is getting married this week. Oh and by the way, well, you know, it's like stop it or you know. And I also hate that. I think it's such a private it's a private thing, and I don't want to keep seeing it because it's it triggers

Grace Tame, Australian of the Year, made a speech that's made me really think about what I do in here as well. In this podcast studio. She said, you know you've got to be careful when you're rummaging in someone's grief. Like she said, she'll do interviews with journalists and I'll be like, tell us about the darkest day when you were abused, and she said, that is trauma and you've got to She said, I understand that. That's why I'm Australian of the Year. And I will talk about those

But I also knew that I wanted to talk to you about it because I know you've gone through it and I was prepared for it. Now when it's completely different.

You do have to be prepared, don't you.

It's like, okay, but for a long time like fundraisers to deal with still birth, like I don't.

The post a child you did. People try to make you the faces and.

Want and instilled to this. I don't want to be the person. I don't want to talk about it. I want to turn and even when other women come up, like, it's different if it's just the two of us talking about it. But I find I will talk about your grief, but I don't want to relive mine because I'm just so private about it.

Yeah, how do you have private things like you know, your marriage, breaking up, your new relationship with Adham.

Yeah. I struggle with that because I am really private. But unfortunately early on in my marriage I did talk to the media about stuff. And now I can't not talk. I mean, you can't go oh like here, I'll tell you this story. But now I don't want to talk to you. And soonetol, something really major happens. You go, oh my god, why did I allow everyone in? But then I go, well, it's probably a good thing that people like people do relate to me and people if

So yeah, but you are allowed boundaries as well.

I try and create those more so now.

And just because you did something once ten years ago, twenty years ago at a different time in your life, yeah, in a different climate, doesn't mean you have to always leave the gate open.

I had this really awful experience not after Harrison, where I went to go and get my nails done, might have been like two months after or whatever, and so you're stuck there getting your nails done, and this woman, like this other person getting a nails done. It's like asking me, like literally a million or one question, So where you're bury and what is he?

Like?

Did you see it? Blah blah blah, you gonna have another baby? Like for an hour, you should have another baby, blah blah. When I like and just and I felt I just couldn't go anywhere. And then I felt like I had to answer your questions. And she asked me stuff that even my mom hadn't asked me, like you need to have another baby? Why aren't you having another baby. And I walked out of there bawling my eyes out, crying,

I think as women, and particularly being in the public eye, you don't want anyone, anyone to be over as a diva and unfriendly and everything. But what is Glennand I say, you have a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself. Yeah, that's what boundaries are about. Yeah, and you need to choose yourself when it's something that's so personal and so upsetting.

Yeah, and that's what I'm trying to do.

Yeah.

I mean, my therapist always is to me, would you talk to a stranger the way you talk to yourself in your head? I'm like, oh my god, I know never, I know, I know, so I do. I recognize that a lot more now, Like when I do start doing that negative stuff for my hair and I'm like stop it, like stop saying that about yourself. And it's the same thing with boundaries. Yeah, I've got Yeah, I'm trying to stick up for myself a lot more.

You should.

Yeah. Yeah.

How do you learn your lines? I want to end by asking some basic questions. Do you get a script, how do you do it?

How do you learn the I think I'm really good at learning and really fast because I just sort of read over them a few times and they're just sort of in there. So I'll read over them before I go to bed, and I'll read over them again in the morning, and then in the makeup chair. I pretty much learn them and maybe after the first rehearsal they're in my head.

So you get to do a rehearsal.

You get probably three or four rehearsals now to block.

Out the scene.

Yeah, yeah, and then you start shooting. We shoot pretty fast, now, insaane what I just said about learning lines. If I had ten scenes straight, I wouldn't just learn them that quickly, Like you have to sit.

There for a while how long does the scene go? For?

About forty minutes?

Forty minutes to film a scene, yeah, and how much talking will there be in that? How much waiting around?

You're not winning around because you're doing like three or four rehearsals. Then you do checks and then you start filming and you've got different shots.

Go to woe in forty minutes. Yeh yeah, including rehearsal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

We shoot really fast. I think we shoot the fastest out of any.

So I'm making half an hour five times away. Yeah yeah, and a half hours of television.

And we do a really good job, like I'm so proud of the product. And then we shoot sort of like film does with the different angles and the different sort of setups with lighting and whatever. It's not just grid lighting anymore, so it looks quite good.

Do you shoot chronologically?

No, we shoot more about like sets, so the diner sets or the Morgan house or but we're two crews working at once, So one block is on location the first week, and then you go into studio, and then the block that was on location the week beforehand is in studio, So you do.

Some things out of order, so you might do what like a week's worth of dinoscenes or like two weeks worth of.

A week, because that's the studio element of that week. So you'll shoot like a diner day on one day, so yeah, it's out of order, and then another day will be another set.

And do you just get scene sent to you one at a time or are you like, well, hang on, why am I crying here? And it's something that happened in an episode you haven't shot yet.

Get the episode? So you read the whole episode?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, so you know, we you've got to sort of understand your own continuity. But in saying that, like I don't spend like I sort of go, You're just gonna be truthful in the moment. I don't really know what you did before you came into this room, and I don't really know what you're gonna do after, And same goes for me. I don't really know what I'm going to do after. I'm my character my character. Yeah, so I don't spend too long on continuity, but some

What's the dynamic with people who come in and out for guest stints? Like, is there a core cast of regulars?

Yes, I think there's twenty odd of us, and who are.

The solid regulars? And then people come in.

We have heaps of guests, and we have some long running guests and like sort of some that might just be in for a fifty word or which it might just be one scene. So it depends, but I'd like to think we treat our guests really well. We make them feel really welcome, because it's really hard coming in, as you would go into a workplace whereveryone knows each other really well, and they're very nervous, so I try and make them feel really comfortable.

There've been a lot of really interesting fun people going through the show, haven't there.

Yeah.

Do you bond with some more than others? I imagine absolutely?

Yeah, yeah, is.

It quite intense, and then it's like we're so close, but then I probably will never speak to you again.

Absolutely, And a lot even with like people that you've worked with for three or four years and you're like, I love you and I'm going to see you every week, and then life just happens, and because the schedules are so fast, you don't get to catch up as much. But then in saying that with some people, I mean, I'm still friends with some people from heartbreak hyh. So you know there is some friendships that are you know, for the rest of your life.

Is when you're on location, where do you go between scenes? Like do you have like a big trailer with.

Like it's not fancy. No. So I sit in my car a lot of the time. But we do have a green room that we share with everyone, but it's really tiny and it's not.

The best and you probably want to be just.

I just like being in my car.

Yeah, And you don't have to wear like bikinis on the beach and stuff anymore.

Well, so I did it for a really long time.

And I would like it if you did.

No, I did it for a long time, and then I happen to say in media somewhere, I don't know why they don't put me in a bikini. Oh anyway, Then I started wearing a bikini as a flight last year or the year before, and I'm really uncomfortable about it. Not because of my body. I'm very comfortable with my body, but all the crew are like my brothers and my uncles,

And those photos get sold to the women's magazines.

And it's never like, oh, Ada, you know, looks great. It's I just it's all iky. I just don't. I just don't like it. I love you, Oh May, I love you so much. I'm going to stop vangirling now. Thank you so much.

I hope you enjoyed that. I was going to say, I don't know if Ada did, because it was it was a journey, wasn't it. I knew that I wanted to ask her about Harrison before she came in, and I think she knew that she was going to talk about it, and I felt, I'm so glad she was honest about the part where she doesn't just want to be the poster child and she doesn't just want to chat about it in every interview because it is such