39. Inner Autumn ft. Alyah Al-Jasser

Holly Lamb (00:00.728) Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the No Fucks Given podcast with me, your host Holly Lamb. Again, this week I am joined by Alyah who is a mindset coach and menstrual cycle mentor. And this is the final installment of the full seasons. This is the inner autumn. This could maybe be like the big one. A lot of women maybe struggle through this phase of their cycle, their luteal phase leading up Alyah (00:03.513) So, thank Holly Lamb (00:26.54) to their bleed and you know, this is when PMS symptoms can start to rear their ugly head if you're not practicing mental cycle awareness and becoming aware of your body. So we're gonna deep dive into the inner autumn and welcome Alyah again for episode four. Are you excited for inner autumn? You're so welcome. Yeah, you're so welcome. So how do you feel in inner autumn? Alyah (00:45.321) Thank you for having me back. Thank you for having me back once again. Holly Lamb (00:56.216) How is that phase of the cycle for you? Alyah (00:56.892) you Alyah (01:00.398) It's my favourite phase, honestly. It wasn't always, but it is now. It's a phase that has really shown me all of its potency and peacefulness and clarity and it's a phase that I really enjoy coming, arriving into and coming home to every month. I really enjoy it. I really enjoy it and it's... Holly Lamb (01:02.254) Hmm. Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (01:25.39) Mm-hmm. Alyah (01:29.409) the phase that when I've paid the most attention it's been the most rewarding and we can get into that a little bit more but and explain what I mean by that but how do you feel about it because it's a sensitive one Holly Lamb (01:36.494) Mmm. Yeah. Holly Lamb (01:43.769) Yes, it is. And definitely wasn't always my favorite, but yeah, it's probably, it is probably one now, as well as my inner winter. Cause we both like the, via negativa side of the cycle because it is the more introspection, but it hasn't always been that, that way. mean, when, I got first diagnosed with early menopause, it was like, The world was gonna end and literally like a few days before my bleed, I thought I was going to cry and the world was gonna end. But now, because I embrace it and learn to slow down and listen to my body and listen to that inner voice, magical insights come through, downloads, if you wanna call it, come through. things that I'm not sure about start to come through. And I really, really enjoy it because for me, I don't really get PMS symptoms anymore, nothing like that. And I can really enjoy the stillness and the introspective part of it. Alyah (02:53.367) Hmm. Hmm. For me it's exactly, exactly the same. And I think when I first started getting my period, it was a very high, highly irritable phase. So from the ages of like, let's say 11 when I started until about, really honestly, around 17 or 18, it was, I didn't really know why it happened. Holly Lamb (02:55.235) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (03:09.454) Mm. Holly Lamb (03:23.566) Mm-hmm. Alyah (03:23.799) I just, didn't have that awareness yet, but I do remember being incredibly irritable and having physical symptoms as well. So my breasts would swell, they would be super tender to the point where even just wearing a bra or even a jumper that felt too heavy would feel really sore. And then I'd be irritable, I'd feel bloated. And I remember one time, I must have been about 14 or something, my brother was sat next to me on the sofa. Holly Lamb (03:44.078) Yeah. Alyah (03:52.793) And I just turned around and I was like, oh my God, you're breathing so loud. Like that's so annoying. Can you just like... And that's really stuck out as a core memory for me because it was like almost a compulsion to lash out. And I had no control over it. And again, around 15, 16, kind of when you're going through this massive, you're surfing a huge wave of puberty while everything is like settling down. At 15, 16, I remember... Holly Lamb (04:03.31) Mm. Mm-hmm. Alyah (04:20.867) lots of crying, lots of deep sensitivity, and I'm feeling lost in this space of emotion. And that evened out as I moved into my twenties, and it evened out even more in my thirties. Now obviously that's got to do with how much estrogen you're producing, because that kind of spike and dip again will play a little bit with your ability to manage your emotions. Holly Lamb (04:30.488) Mm-hmm. Alyah (04:50.762) However, once you become aware through connecting to your cycle and practicing cycle awareness, you connect more to the deeper layer of that, let's say irritability or body awareness, right? You can develop some body literacy to understand, am I feeling some sensation or am I experiencing pain when it comes to PMS symptoms, which is a shitty word for what PMS is, right? There's indications that you can develop your body literacy to understand whether or not, like, is this something I need to be paying attention to? Is this something that requires an action from my side to address? Am I having really severe pain that I need to go and get checked out? Or am I experiencing some kind of like sensation, you know, just a reflection of what's happening within my hormones, breast tenderness, feeling a little bit sensitive. Holly Lamb (05:41.752) Yeah. Alyah (05:48.275) those things are, let's say, okay. And then when you practice cycle awareness, you understand of, you have a better understanding of what's supposed to happen and what should not be happening, right? Holly Lamb (06:00.75) Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I couldn't agree more. mean, for me, when I was younger, I mean, I was, I was put on the pill at 16 and then I was on it for a very long time. So not that I didn't get the ebbs and flows because I definitely did to a degree, but I think there's a, there's the thing that's always stuck in my head is my dad always used to call me hormone or Holly when I was younger. And although like, Alyah (06:08.533) Mmm. Alyah (06:27.807) haha Holly Lamb (06:30.726) It was quite funny. Like now looking back, I'm like, that was like feeding into this narrative that women and girls are that this shouldn't happen, that these ebbs and flows are not normal. know, these highs and lows are not normal, which they are because of the estrogen and progesterone in our bodies that are fluctuating. But that always stuck in my head. And I think the more work I've done on myself and the more inner work I've done, and especially in this phase, that Alyah (06:38.793) Mm-hmm. Alyah (06:48.596) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (07:00.426) Even now sometimes when he says it, I'm just like, can you not? Because it kind of brings up these feelings that as a woman makes you feel a bit inadequate that these things are not normal. And to a degree, yes, like we definitely need to feel the absent flows. If you're having extreme, like you wanna kill somebody, like you want someone to mug you because you're that annoyed, like you wanna take the rage out on this person, then yeah. Alyah (07:12.093) Mmm. Alyah (07:22.579) Hmm. Mm-hmm. Alyah (07:30.12) fantasy before just try it try me today Holly Lamb (07:30.638) Hahaha! Holly Lamb (07:37.631) I think that's always a good analogy and my mum used to say that to me and I'm like, yeah, I like that. But yeah, we've all been there. We've all been there, but they're not normal. It's not normal to be that. Alyah (07:44.039) Yeah. Alyah (07:48.26) Yeah, exactly. You shouldn't be wanting to exhibit that kind of rage at any point really. I think it's true, having this build up, this huge build up of sensation, physical or mental, it's tiring actually. It's exhausting to carry that around, especially if you don't know why it comes up. Holly Lamb (08:02.542) Hmm. Holly Lamb (08:07.8) here. Holly Lamb (08:13.398) Yeah. Yeah, exactly. and cycle awareness has really helped me to focus that energy in the right way. Focus the, it may be irritability and anger that I used to get in a, in a positive way, but also kind of understanding that it's, that it's okay. And it's showing me something that I need to work through. Like whatever comes up in the body. Alyah (08:23.377) Hmm. Alyah (08:38.775) Man. Holly Lamb (08:41.45) is usually, unless it's obviously, you know, a medical condition, it's severe that you need to go and get checked out. But usually the, like you say, the swollen breasts and the bloating and the irritability, that's showing you a part of you that you need to work on. And that's kind of the place that I've got to now that I can just enjoy the inner autumn and the introspection and the things that come through rather than thinking, God, am I going to like rip my husband's head off this week? Because I'm drunk. Holly Lamb (09:13.837) Yeah. Alyah (09:13.849) Yeah, I do really resonate with that. I think it took me a long time to appreciate the nuances of this part of the cycle. So just for people that be listening that perhaps they're like, okay, in our autumn, Luteal, what's happening? What's actually happening with your body at that time? You know? So maybe you would like to explain what's happening in our bodies at this time, right? What's the difference between Holly Lamb (09:22.734) Hmm. Holly Lamb (09:28.494) Mm. Holly Lamb (09:37.486) Mmm. Alyah (09:38.864) So we've shifted out of ovulation. We move into the luteal phase, which we in energetics will call it the inner autumn, because it's reflective of that time of moving towards a little depth, a little release, a little pause, which is the inner winter, which is menstruation. But that time between after you've ovulated and right before you get your period, this is the luteal phase, the inner autumn. So what's happening with our hormones around that time? Holly Lamb (09:43.118) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (10:02.818) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (10:06.296) So this is when estrogen starts to drop off a cliff and progesterone starts coming in. And this is, it's kind of giving you like this little hug, this progesterone hug. It's there to slow you down, to calm you down, but your ability to handle, let's say the external reality stress. things that maybe in ovulation you were like, I can manage the world because estrogen's there and she's, let's say she's your external hormone, but when progesterone comes in, she's your internal and she's asking you to go inward. So if you're trying to still continue with being external, this I feel is where women are gonna struggle and get the, let's say, PMS symptoms, come forward more. Alyah (10:47.534) Hmm. Alyah (10:56.43) Hmm Holly Lamb (11:02.156) because you aren't slowing down and listening to what she's trying to tell you, because that's all she's doing. She's just trying to tell you to to go down, to go inwards. Alyah (11:06.123) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So at this point your body's figured out that it's not gonna get pregnant, right? So, I mean, I've read a few kind of theories, let's say around this, that like actually you get a bit irritated with the man, with the man, let's amend, the man in your life that's supposed to have gotten you pregnant at this time and you can be a little bit short-tempered because subconsciously you're a bit pissed that you haven't gotten pregnant that month. But your body's, yeah, I read that somewhere and it stuck with me. I didn't even bother. Holly Lamb (11:15.104) yeah. Holly Lamb (11:30.04) Yeah. Holly Lamb (11:35.672) like that. Alyah (11:40.663) to read who the author was, but I read it somewhere and I was like, well, you know, it could make sense, but don't quote me. But your body's figured out that it's not gonna get pregnant, so it's not interested anymore in being social or being palatable or acceptable. It's now time to go home and do some inner work on the inside. So I've lined the uterus, like your body's been doing the most, it's lined the uterus ready for this implantation. It's figured out you're not gonna play hostess this month. Holly Lamb (12:00.142) you Alyah (12:09.844) And so progesterone rises so that you can shed that lining so that you're kicking off another kind of hormone to start off the second part of your cycle, which is okay. We're not getting any visitors just now and it's time to rearrange the living room. And so that can come with a little bit of irritability. It can come with increased appetite because, you know, typically around this time, what we call cravings, is actually like your body's natural desire to slow down and stock up because you're going to be, it's preparing itself for shedding a lot of nutrients, right? So you're doing kind of like a backloading of those nutrients, which is the reasons that you might be craving certain things or requiring more sleep, feeling slower. On an energetic level, it's exactly the progesterone wants you to slow down. And if we don't do that, we can sort of aggravate those quote unquote symptoms or those signals from the body to slow down. So if you don't slow down, if you don't take your time, you might find yourself really out of puff very quickly, especially if you don't listen. Because one thing is knowing it and the other thing is actually doing it, right? So pushing yourself at the gym really hard when you know that, wow, I don't have the same energy today and like trying to do it and feeling angry with yourself that, you know, I could do this last week, which was my case. Holly Lamb (13:18.222) Bye. Alyah (13:32.843) Just a few days ago, I'm on day four right now, but last week I was with my PT and I told her at one point, like I have no more power. Like this is it, I can't do anymore. We have to finish the set now and I have to go home. And you know, five years ago that would have been impossible. I would have been like, I'm gonna try beat myself up when I can't do what I did 10 days before. And I think as well, energetically you get a lot of clarity because Holly Lamb (13:51.309) Yeah. Holly Lamb (13:55.873) Exactly. Alyah (14:02.674) What happens is when you stop being propelled by estrogen, or estrogen, however you would like to pronounce it, and you start to be enveloped by this warm, I like how you said that warm hug of progesterone, you come back home to yourself in a way that the outside noise on your way to your inner winter, on this path to the inner winter, the outside noise starts to slowly drop away. and you start to really tune back into yourself, almost like you turn the volume up on your inner voice. And that can come two ways. The inner critic can get louder, but also whatever messages that are within that, repeated messages that come up every luteal phase. What are the same triggers that keep coming up to surface every time you find yourself in this phase of your cycle? Every time you enter the inner autumn, are you being Holly Lamb (14:40.002) Mm-hmm. Alyah (14:58.524) bothered, irritated, called to address the same topics or same confrontations, moments, are they coming to surface time and time again? Because here is a beautiful opportunity for you to look directly at that thing without any of the outside noise. having a little bit more of blinkers, of self-care blinkers at yourself and thinking, hmm, okay. Is there a reason month after month I'm being pissed off by the same thing? That I'm being lit up by the same thing? And that for me has been the biggest lesson because I just think it's not random. Holly Lamb (15:46.304) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And that's so true. It's that, it is that inner critic and we all, we all still get it. No matter how much menstrual cycle awareness you practice, at some months she will come up louder than other months, 100%. And for me, was always slow. It was always about slowing down because my last, the last thing that I've always tried to work on is getting really irritable in traffic all the time. Like if someone cuts me up, like, like the Alyah (15:47.119) The same things every month, yeah. Alyah (15:56.347) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Alyah (16:12.048) Mmm. Holly Lamb (16:15.534) expletives and the hand gestures and all sorts. So I'm like, okay, that is the thing that keeps coming up. What is that trying to show me? And for me, it was patience, slowing down and realizing that everybody is in their own reality, in their own little world. And perhaps the reason they did that was because they were late and they did this or they didn't see this, you know, rather than going, oh, it's Alyah (16:17.168) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Alyah (16:26.758) Mmm. Mm. Holly Lamb (16:43.872) It's an attack against me, which is sometimes what the inner autumn can feel like, poor me, victim me. No, it's, it's them in their reality experiencing something completely different to me. So what I have to do in order to keep my peace is to not react to those things is to respond. But it wasn't just the driving. was clearly that I need to slow down and patience. Alyah (16:46.053) Mmm. Alyah (16:51.172) Mm. Alyah (16:58.83) Hmm. Alyah (17:03.171) Mmm. Alyah (17:12.431) Hmm. Holly Lamb (17:12.95) and patience. And as someone who wants things like instant and like that, which unfortunately the world we live in, that's been a real lesson for me to slow down. And that's been a big one for me in autumn. Alyah (17:18.117) Mmm. Alyah (17:23.812) Hmm. Alyah (17:27.362) Mmm. Alyah (17:31.688) Hmm. Yeah, that's beautiful. Because yeah, you can either give in to that irritability and allow it to override your ability to respond, your response ability, right? Because we all have an ability to respond in certain ways and we can either choose to do that straight from like a pre-programmed place of like, fuck this bitch can't please fuck it, fuck me up, or we can be like, you know what? Holly Lamb (17:42.542) Mm. Alyah (17:56.45) I probably had, who knows? I could have left 10 minutes earlier, maybe this woman had something, maybe this guy, maybe that, it's not a big deal, I just need to get to my place on time, it'll be fine. And practicing that, yeah, I mean, you could advocate that you could practice before that any time of the month, but you teach yourself the biggest lesson, probably, when there's a pull towards reactivity. And I think... Holly Lamb (18:03.18) Yep. Holly Lamb (18:19.98) Yeah. Alyah (18:24.212) know, inner autumn can sometimes get a really bad rap around this irritability, this pain, this need to slow down, I might be experiencing cramps for women that, you know, I I was diagnosed with endometriosis and rekindling my relationship with my inner autumn took a lot of deep practice around cycle awareness. Also looking at the way that I was nourishing myself in this time, how was I eating, what was I... Holly Lamb (18:27.544) Hmm. Alyah (18:52.631) What was I doing? Was I giving in to these unhealthy quote unquote cravings because I was not preparing for this. I mean, I've been bleeding for years. I should have known that I need to pre-prepare if I want something sweet, if I want something salty. Can I prepare myself for this? And it's seeing the inner autumn as part of your cycle and not this part that you need to fight against. Can I use that energy in my inner summer, my ovulation to... Holly Lamb (19:17.518) Yeah. Alyah (19:21.42) prepare myself for the second part of my cycle. Can I be making some healthy snacks and keeping them in the fridge or the freezer, right? Being an ally to myself for the second part of my cycle has been really supportive. In small senses, just like snacks and things like that, but also having a look at my schedule. I know that I'm actually more tired on the last couple of days before I bleed than I am actually on day one or day two. Holly Lamb (19:46.286) Yeah. Alyah (19:48.802) So I feel the real like, I need to take a nap. Kind of for myself, it's day 28, 29. I really need to like go to sleep. I need to tidy up some loose ends and then I need to go to sleep. Cause I also have like a burst of energy sometimes for a few hours, just a couple of days before. And I really use that to like get my bed sheets changed and order in some groceries for the next couple of days. Holly Lamb (20:09.954) Yeah. Alyah (20:18.261) I try to tie up Lucenne so I don't have anything to do. Because while inner autumn is this space of, yes, the shadows and the inner critic and this bad rap we're talking about, as we know, our cycles imitate nature. so autumn is traditionally the time to harvest also. So when this external noise drops away, I found through cycle awareness that this is the best time for me to work. Holly Lamb (20:20.812) Hmm. Alyah (20:47.516) on projects because I'm not distracted by the opinions and the ideas that circulate around me. I can really harvest all of the ideas that I've been coming up with, I've jotted down, specifically in terms of work, yeah, in terms of business. I tend to make the needle moving decisions in my business in my inner autumn. When I was working in corporate, I did the best decisions and the best Holly Lamb (21:04.814) Yeah. Alyah (21:15.721) presentations when I was in my inner autumn because my ability to give a fuck about what you think, it hasn't been diminished, but it definitely has been reduced. I'm far more clear on what I think is the right thing to do and in my conviction of that thing, whatever it might be, but particularly when it comes to work, I find that I'm, it's really, I can get really in the zone. which is we were supposed to record this a few days ago and I was like one, two days before my period. And I was like, my God, I'm so sorry, I've forgotten. I'm in deep flow with my work and I'm really sorry, please can you, because I have to really ride that wave of clarity, of harvesting, of collecting everything that I've sewn in the couple of weeks before. Yeah. Holly Lamb (22:04.174) Yeah. And I feel the same. I find that I'm just more in tune with my inner voice and letting her guide me to what I need to, like what I need to prioritize. But I also like when you said about using ovulation to prepare for inner autumn, because when I've worked with clients and it's funny, like you said in the gym, like, I could lift. Alyah (22:16.103) Hmm Alyah (22:26.046) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (22:32.3) this but now I can't or I can't push myself or I'm more hungry and it's like yeah your body is giving you these cues that you need to listen to so why not in your ovulation like you say prepare like meals like in the freezer so they're done and you don't to cook because sometimes I'm like I can't be arsed like I don't want to cook I just want food to be presented to me just here just ta-da Alyah (22:33.982) Mmm. Alyah (22:39.922) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Alyah (22:45.352) Mm-hmm. Alyah (22:48.926) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Alyah (22:57.137) Yes. Holly Lamb (22:59.214) And because I still want to eat well, I want to usually prepare it myself and make sure that it's, it's nutritious. And also I, I intermittent fast, but when I am in my luteal phase, I don't because well, number one, progesterone's building and we don't want anything to interfere with that. And secondly, I'm hungry when I wake up. So I'm going to listen to my body and I'm going to honor that and feed myself. You will want more carbs and Alyah (23:10.749) Mm. Alyah (23:15.409) Bro. Alyah (23:18.781) Mm. Holly Lamb (23:28.482) That's what your body is craving. So make sure you're eating more carbs. Absolutely have chocolate. Like why not dark chocolate? Love it. And it's, Alyah (23:35.994) It's the only time that I want sweet things. I'm not a sweet person at all, but the only time that I think, and I don't like chocolate. that is just, and two, three days before my period, I could really, I could really go, could really go a bit chocolate, you know? And it never, and then I think that's it. That's my body requiring the fastest way for me to get these calories. Cause that's what's happening, right? Your body is cleverer than you think. Holly Lamb (23:38.518) Yeah. Yeah. Alyah (24:00.687) And it's not thinking to you, you should be having some protein and some complex carbs and blah, blah. It's like, how can I get the fastest amount of calories in me right now and like trick her into getting them really quick? And so it's like you lean towards whatever is closest, which is usually not the healthiest. And it's a chance to write yourself a love letter really when you prepare these for your body in this way, you know? Holly Lamb (24:04.622) No. Holly Lamb (24:21.038) Yes, so preparing. Holly Lamb (24:27.694) Mmm Yeah, I'm so grateful for past Holly for looking after future Holly in this time. So yeah, there's obviously with each phase of the cycle, there is light and shade with each part of it. And I think women mostly do struggle with this phase because we are so disconnected from our bodies and we find it very difficult to listen because the society that we live in Alyah (24:35.907) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Alyah (24:50.682) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (24:59.028) is geared towards men and their 24 hour cycle. And all this information has been lost over the years. And we have just been given pills to mask the problem and not fix it. And recently I feel like a massive veil has been lifted in what I understand with women's health and how much power and how much knowledge we have within our womb space. Alyah (25:07.514) Mmm. Mmm. Hmm. Hmm. Alyah (25:17.786) Mmm. Holly Lamb (25:29.324) that we're able to birth physical life and metaphorical life from this place. And I truly believe that we are given these types of medications in order to keep us numb, to keep us on one note and not discover how absolutely unbelievably powerful we are when we are fully in our own voice, in our most authentic self and sharing this knowledge with other women. Alyah (25:53.433) I mean, I mean. Holly Lamb (25:58.966) so that they can come home to themselves. my god, can you imagine? Yeah. Alyah (25:59.001) dangerous. Because it can topple everything. can topple everything. You tell a woman to be her as well. This is a beautiful way to include the inner autumn in this. You advocate. So when you learn how to practice psycho awareness, your biggest ally really is the luteal phase. It's a time for self-advocacy. It's a time for this feels weird. Holly Lamb (26:25.198) Mmm. Alyah (26:28.6) This sensation keeps coming up. You your ability to tune into your body literacy. There's so many signals, there's so many things happening, right? Because you're really coming home to yourself with that rise of progesterone, energetically that's being matched by what's happening within your, let's say the feels of the inner autumn. You have such a huge chance here with the inner voice turned up to start listening, to advocate for yourself, to... rediscover and just remember all of this wisdom that is locked within you. And it's locked within the part, it's carried within the part that has been tried to be rejected because everybody loves a woman that's happy and cheerful and bouncy, right? Follicular, ovulation phase, know, she's young, she's desirable, she's fertile, she's this. The via negativa, the luteal, the menstruation. Holly Lamb (27:02.094) you Holly Lamb (27:16.014) Mm-hmm. Alyah (27:22.551) the inner autumn, inner winter, it's representative of a part of a woman that isn't as readily accepted. It's that kind of, that archetype of the witch or the wise woman that they've, I say they, but the collective they has been trying to stifle for a very long time because within that, within that darkness, there is expansion, there is knowledge, there is dark knowledge, and that's not to say that it's sinister, but what I mean, what happens Holly Lamb (27:29.195) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Alyah (27:50.76) in dark, things are created in the dark, we all come from a pitch black space of the womb. There's nothing to fear in that expansion. There's nothing to fear in that irritability or that feeling lost in your inner inner autumn. It doesn't require your fear, it requires you only to listen. You know? And this is the part that if we tune in, then we realise, well, it's all a facade and... Holly Lamb (28:06.606) Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah. Holly Lamb (28:17.9) Yes, your reality crumbles and you're like, what the fuck? Alyah (28:19.464) Yeah, reality crumbles. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Holly Lamb (28:23.95) Yeah, it does awaken, you start to question, question thing, question. It was funny, I was chatting to a woman this weekend and she was like, isn't it weird how we all just like get on the train and commute to work, to a job that we don't really enjoy. And then we have a mortgage. We will hopefully pay it off and then maybe we'll get an extra holiday. and isn't that weird? Don't you think it's all weird? Why do we do this? And it's like, Alyah (28:27.594) Mm-hmm. Alyah (28:50.612) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (28:50.848) It's funny when you start tapping in, you start questioning all these things, all these, these narratives that have been around for so, so long that this is, this is the norm and this is exactly what we should be doing. Like, we're not supposed to, we're not supposed to just go to work and go on holiday and, and maybe hopefully pay off your house before you die. Like what kind of existence is that? Whereas if you are tapping into your cycle, you'll start to question more things and you'll start to break out of it. And it doesn't mean you have to go and live. Alyah (29:02.942) Yeah. Alyah (29:07.945) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (29:18.958) in middle of nowhere in a forest or you know what I mean? It's just about finding your path and purpose that's leading you to have been in full alignment with what you want your life to unfold into. Alyah (29:20.307) Yeah. Alyah (29:24.767) Yes. Alyah (29:30.612) 100%, like cycle awareness has undoubtedly made me remember all of the ways that I used to contemplate the world as a child without really, you know, without all the jadedness or without getting like sucked into, I don't wanna call it like a system, but I mean, that's what it is. But what I'm saying is when you tap into your cycle, you're actually typing into a natural balance, which is. Holly Lamb (29:40.205) Yeah. Holly Lamb (29:50.306) Yeah. Alyah (29:58.543) which has been forgotten in many ways. And when women take the responsibility to rekindle that within themselves, you do start to ask questions like, if I'm more physically tired for like, let's say minimum four days a month, maximum maybe even 10 to 15 days a month, why does the system not support 50 % of the population? Why are there not things in place to make allowances for me? Why do I have to push through? Now you can start just with that question, and then you can be, well, that's just the way it is, and nine to fives, it's, well, this and that. But if you really, really think about it, and you think, but why? Why? Why do I have to pay for period care? Why is this not subsidised by the government? Why is there a pink tax? Why is not OBGYN everywhere? Like, why do women lay on their backs to give birth into conventional hospitals? Holly Lamb (30:39.726) Mmm. Holly Lamb (30:43.5) Yeah. Holly Lamb (30:48.11) you Holly Lamb (30:56.062) Yeah. Alyah (30:57.688) Why this? Why the pill? Why not this for men? You start to question, you question, you question, you question. And you do it from a space of curiosity, not really anger, right? But if you start to think, okay, people made those choices and I'm also going to make choices that I don't need to select all on that drop down list. I'm going to be selective about what works for me. Right? Holly Lamb (31:23.586) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's, that's so true. And I feel even like we've just moved into February. feel like a lot of changes are already happening around this kind of mindset and women are becoming more curious as to find different ways in order to deal with things like endometriosis and PCOS and even just periods that aren't enjoyable. they're kind of looking at Alyah (31:51.313) Hmmmm Holly Lamb (31:54.614) an alternative way, like there's, there's got to be something different to just taking a tablet every day to fix in quotes, fix my problems. And again, I was chatting to another woman who her daughter recently got her period and because she had listened to some of the master classes I'd done on cycle awareness, she was able to relay that back to her daughter. And in just three months. Alyah (32:01.476) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Alyah (32:05.776) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (32:23.48) Her daughter's period is regular, she enjoys it, she sets intentions on her bleed and she's 12. And I was like, that is the goal. That is the goal for every girl to have that experience from the get-go. From the get-go. And I was just like, wow. Alyah (32:31.95) Let's roll. Alyah (32:40.999) Blissful. Mm-hmm. 100%. This Thursday I host my first Red Tent Circle for a group of, I think there four or five girls, a couple of them are sisters, from the ages of eight to 13. And their mom, or one of the moms, she had come to, she's come to a couple of my events around cycle awareness, and she approached me and she said, would you do this for my girls? And I was like, of course I would. Holly Lamb (32:50.413) No. Wow. Alyah (33:08.207) literally my dream. So yeah, yeah, yeah. Holly Lamb (33:12.75) Wow, that would be just so beautiful. And it should be more widespread and hopefully eventually it will be. But the more we talk about this and the more women of our age and younger women in their 20s, and then they can pass it on and then they can pass it on to their daughters. This is how we change women just been given the pill or given whatever kind of contraceptive. in order to fix them. This is how we change it and the long-term and yes, it will take time and you may think you're just one person and you can't change anything, but it does because from what I say has influenced someone else and that's influenced her daughter. So it does happen. does change. just is going to take a little bit of time and a little bit of patience in order to get there. Wow. Alyah (33:56.215) Mm-hmm. Alyah (34:01.986) Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Holly Lamb (34:09.132) We could probably talk about the inner autumn all day long, because we love it. But if you wanted to just leave a little nugget with the listeners today about encapsulating the inner autumn, or maybe them feeling like they're really disconnected from it, they really suffer with PMS, they don't really know what to do. Alyah (34:13.358) Yes, I believe you. Very easily done. Alyah (34:24.428) Mmm. Alyah (34:36.78) Mm. Holly Lamb (34:38.102) what would you say just to shift that 1 %? Alyah (34:42.877) go back to bed. If you can, go back to bed. Holly Lamb (34:45.715) Yeah. Yeah. Alyah (34:49.726) and see what happens. That would be my biggest thing is say what you need and if you can go back to bed and yeah I think that start there but advocate for what you need. Do you need some rest? Are you feeling teary? Are you feeling emotional? Understand that it's okay and you are going to feel more sensitive. You are going to feel more Holly Lamb (34:53.08) Yeah. Holly Lamb (35:09.518) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Alyah (35:16.619) Just a little bit more in your feels and I think that that's a hundred percent. Okay, so and if and don't be ashamed of it Oh, I've started a new thing where I just don't stop myself now before I used to like get a bit of mosh like looking at a video of puppies or something and I'd be like that's silly and now we've got these puppies and then I've just allowed myself to feel like that whole thing and Holly Lamb (35:20.866) Hmm. Holly Lamb (35:26.797) Yeah. Holly Lamb (35:35.566) Yeah. Holly Lamb (35:41.1) Yeah. Alyah (35:42.719) And sometimes it makes me feel like I'm very connected to my friends and family, feel like rushes of love as well, like really emotional. So I act on it, pick up the phone, ring my mum, pick up my best friend, pick up the phone to my best friend, ring them, I love you. I really, what happens if I follow that thread, you know? So if that thread is telling you I'm tired, then babe, go back to bed. The thread is telling you have a little cry, have a little cry, ring your mum, ring your boyfriend, whatever, and then go back to bed. Holly Lamb (35:48.833) Yeah! Holly Lamb (35:54.606) Yeah. Holly Lamb (36:02.126) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (36:09.91) Yeah, that's so true because that's all it is. It's just that stuck energy. So if it stays stuck, then you're just suppressing it. So if you let move, if you, I get very expressionate and then I'm knocking the If you have that stuck energy, it just wants to move. So if you need to cry, cry. I cried this morning. There's this guy, what's his bloody name? He's on Instagram. I think he's like Mr. I want to Mr. Motivator, but I don't think that's him because that was a guy from like 19. Alyah (36:14.271) Mm-hmm. yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah Alyah (36:35.915) I don't think I would cry at Mr. Motivator. Holly Lamb (36:38.626) It wasn't him, it was a different guy. And he gives money away to people because he's a millionaire or whatever. And he just gave this guy money. Yeah. And he just gave this guy like money and then he went back and gave him more and he'd come over from Africa and he was studying and he gave him like a, and I was just like, I was just crying. I was like, that's so annoying. Like people just helping people. Like that's what it's all about. But yeah, it's about just, yeah, feel it. Alyah (36:43.975) I know, I know who you're talking about. Alyah (36:59.868) Mm-hmm. And just let yourself just get it out. Get the energy out. And then you feel great afterwards. Just follow the thread. Follow the thread. Yeah. Yeah. My pleasure. Holly Lamb (37:08.462) Yeah, 100%. Thank you, Alyah. It's always a pleasure. Always a pleasure. This is the final installment, but it probably won't be the last time Alyah's on the podcast. Thanks, everybody. Thanks for listening and I'll see you next week. Alyah (37:20.251) I hope not. Thank you so much for having me.