36. Inner Winter ft. Alyah Al-Jasser

Holly Lamb (00:00.783) Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the No Fucks Given podcast with me, host Holly Lamb. This week I'm joined by Alyah, who is a women's mindset coach and menstruality mentor. And we're actually doing a four part series on the four seasons of the cycle. And we're going to dive into each one in each episode. And this week we're going to talk all about inner a winter, which I... absolutely love because I get to connect to my higher self and my intuition. And so many women really do struggle with this phase of their cycle. So we kind of want to bring a bit of light into it and explain what happens. So thanks for joining me, Alyah. Alyah (00:46.158) Hi, thank you for having me again. Yeah. Holly Lamb (00:48.653) Again, yay. The last one was so good, I was like, let's do some more. So, let's just dive straight into inner winter. So, what does inner winter mean to you? Alyah (00:53.134) I love it. Alyah (00:59.307) Mmm. It is for me really, it's a very witchy part of my cycle, honestly. It's one where I feel really rooted and calm and really connected to the earth. I feel very grounded. And I also feel very much part of like the bigger cycle of life, let's say. Holly Lamb (01:11.291) and Holly Lamb (01:31.707) Mm-hmm. Alyah (01:33.632) very convinced of my own self-worth. It's part of my cycle that I've, since practicing mental cycle awareness and since being really immersed in this way of living, because I think like it's important to remember that cycle awareness isn't just tracking the days you bleed but looking at the way that you live your life. I think that I've through Holly Lamb (01:36.603) Mmm. Holly Lamb (01:59.269) Mm-hmm. Alyah (02:02.956) really embracing that inner winter and slowing down. It just makes me a lot more respectful of my own energies and my own capabilities. yeah, we'll get into it a little bit more, but that is a good place to start. Holly Lamb (02:18.715) Hmm. Holly Lamb (02:22.543) Yeah, absolutely. And it's kind of also like your permission slip to slow down. As women, we feel like we need that. We need that permission slip to take time away from daily life. I mean, as much as you physically can when you have maybe a family or you have to go to work and things like that. But even just being able to take an hour away from the demands, the needs of Alyah (02:28.62) Mmm. Mmm. Alyah (02:38.734) It's not. Alyah (02:44.675) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (02:51.555) everyone else and put yourself first. Alyah (02:55.189) Mm-hmm. How do you do that? Holly Lamb (02:58.171) So, I mean, I'm quite lucky with, obviously the work that I do, I can take time. it's usually days one and two that I want to kind of retreat from the world. And this will look like anything from making sure I've not got any calls scheduled, any meetings, anything where I feel like I have to put myself out there because I just want to be in the introspection. I just want to. Alyah (03:05.354) Mm-hmm. Alyah (03:09.706) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (03:27.801) be getting all that amazing intuition-ness, if that's a word, coming in and just being able to listen to what she's saying in order to get the next steps, which is what happened with not my last bleed, my bleed before, where that's the first time I'd really stepped into those expansive states of consciousness. And the day before I bled, it was like this. Alyah (03:33.65) Mm-hmm. Alyah (03:51.37) Yeah. Holly Lamb (03:54.639) this amazing feeling like all over my body. was like tingly and I felt like I was having like an outer body experience. And actually at that time my bleed was a couple of days late and I felt like the reason was that I had to experience what I experienced. And then that what happened then was what birthed my new program, the cyclical power program and having the women in there and helping them. That's what I got from that. And that's what every woman can get from their bleed if they're able to tap into that energy, but you have to be able to surrender and rest and listen to your body. Alyah (04:25.928) Mm. Bye. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (04:35.771) So yeah, was quite amazing what happened. because I've experienced that, I'm like, want every woman to experience that. And it's like, how do we get that? Then we get to that just by us talking about this, us helping women do that and understanding that it's okay to slow down and give into that. And it's not selfish, because that's- Alyah (04:45.446) I hear you. Alyah (04:53.042) Mm. Mm. Alyah (05:03.27) Hmm. Holly Lamb (05:04.571) slowing down his self-move. Alyah (05:06.917) Yeah, I'm selfish if I take this time out. For me, when I want to take that time out, now obviously now I'm self-employed, but for the last, or for however many 15 plus years, that was definitely not the case. So I really understand it from a nine to five, let's say office job, working woman's perspective, that this all sounds really great, right? Take time for yourself. Holly Lamb (05:09.893) Mmm. Holly Lamb (05:20.304) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (05:28.709) Yeah. Alyah (05:33.221) say no to everything when the reality is there's shit that needs to get done, there's meetings that need to be had, there's reports that need to be on your boss's desk, there's kids that need to be fed, there's loads of loads of things, right? And that's just the reality of life. However, there are loads of things that we don't realise that we opt into. And as women, it's even harder for us to sometimes recognise all of the things that we opt into. Holly Lamb (05:40.165) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (05:50.084) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (05:55.247) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (06:02.991) Mm-hmm. Alyah (06:03.194) because there's this idea that if you want to get something done, you've got to do it yourself. So you might as well, you could ask your husband or your mom or your sister or your friend to pick up your kids from rugby or ballet or whatever, but you won't do it because you don't want to put somebody out, but you really needed that rest. So it's a question of you could be doing it, but because you've been conditioned to think that, no, I shouldn't be doing that, then I'd much rather. tire myself out and not take my time for that. Or two weeks ago you've said yes to a social gathering, I don't know, down the pub with your pals or to a birthday lunch and really this morning you can't face it. And then you think, but I've already committed so I better go. Like those things are optional and there's a way to have a conversation with people around you that is I'm just not up to it just now and I'm on the first day of my bleed. Holly Lamb (06:35.248) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (06:46.075) Mm. Holly Lamb (06:59.44) Mm-hmm. Alyah (07:01.221) and or I'm on whatever, I mean you don't really need to use that as a reason let's say but I'm not up to it as good enough, you even go into as much detail or as little detail as you want but it's practicing advocating for your own rest which I think is really key because if we're not used to saying it out loud it's going to be even harder to kind of internalize that rest itself. Holly Lamb (07:18.031) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (07:28.793) Yeah. And, and like you said, when you've got all these hats that you have to wear, it's really difficult to say no to things when you feel like you should go. And I've done it before. We were all guilty of going to things and being like, I really don't want to be here. I'm really not in the mood. And it's like you said, it don't use it as an excuse. Just say no, I'm not up for it. I won't be coming today. And that's, that's reason enough, but we are conditioned that it isn't. Alyah (07:33.71) Mm-hmm. Alyah (07:43.694) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Alyah (07:54.115) Mm-hmm, yeah. Yeah, but you just got to kind of power through. yeah, I mean, because that's been the narrative around, if you look at the narrative around the menstrual cycle, because if you look at, for example, just ads when even I was a teenager, even in my 20s, ads for things like tampons and periods were like pushed to you as, you can stay active even when. Holly Lamb (08:00.475) Mmm. Holly Lamb (08:22.043) Mm. Alyah (08:22.147) And it's like, well, who needs to be playing tennis on the first day of their period unless they're like Serena Williams? Like nobody. Do you know what mean? I don't need this tampon on day one so that I can zip around like normal. It's just not what's happening within me. So externally, whatever I'm doing, I'm going to be doing it at an energetic level that is slower. I mean, even myself, the way that I'm speaking to you right now, the last time that we got on this call, Holly Lamb (08:27.963) Thank you. Holly Lamb (08:36.603) Mm. Holly Lamb (08:40.059) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (08:47.109) Mm. Alyah (08:52.03) I was not as close to my bleed as I am now. And can even feel the way that I'm speaking to you. It's slower, it's more intentional, because that's how I'm feeling internally. And rather than feeling almost apologetic for like, my God, you know, I'm so sorry, Holly, like I didn't put any makeup on for this. didn't prep enough for this podcast. It's more like this is where I am and this is what we're here to talk about. So like. Holly Lamb (08:54.843) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (09:04.635) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (09:18.327) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Alyah (09:21.736) let me embody that version of me that I'm living with just now, which is a slower paced, more intentional, wiser version. I only get her for a little bit out of the month. Then she's going to be replaced by something else until she comes back around again. So it's really just enjoying, enjoying a slower pace because it leaves again. It's not forever. Holly Lamb (09:32.283) Mmm Yeah. Yeah. Holly Lamb (09:47.897) Yeah, because I'm just coming out of my summer. I'm probably on the cusp of autumn. So I'm in this weird, like, I still have the energy, but I'm like slowly starting to slow down. And like you said, the wise woman starts to slowly, slowly creep in, but I'm definitely still in the summer energy and want to put myself out there. And I'm like, I've up early, I've been to the gym, I'm going to do all these things today. Cause I'm like, right, I'm going to do this now before. Alyah (09:52.66) Mm-hmm. Alyah (10:03.426) Thank Alyah (10:07.456) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (10:15.419) I start to slow down and I need to rest. But you only understand that when you start practicing MCA and start embodying it and actually listening. And that can take time. That's not just going to happen by doing it for a couple of months and being like, okay, yeah, I'm tracking my cycle, da, da, da, da, da. But you actually really have to deep dive. And I shared on my podcast, Alyah (10:19.138) Mm-hmm. Alyah (10:23.99) Yeah. Yeah. Holly Lamb (10:44.377) I this, I don't know when this will go out, but back in October, I think. And I said that even for someone that's been practicing it for a while, there's still these insights that you will get and still bleeds that may flaw you or often phases that will flaw you because of whatever reason that is to show you something, whether you didn't rest enough or whatever that is. So it's always a learning curve and you're never gonna be. Alyah (10:48.61) Mm. Alyah (11:01.132) Mm-hmm. Alyah (11:05.377) Mm-hmm. Alyah (11:08.716) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (11:13.573) the master of it because there's always going to be something that comes up to show you a part of you that you still need to work on. And that's the beauty of it. Alyah (11:16.15) Yeah. Alyah (11:21.25) I agree with you there that it takes time. think one of the things that is creating some content around this, because I think it's really important, especially as like menstrual cycle awareness gathers some traction and starts to become a little bit more trendy. The lexicon is now, you know, it's in the mouths of the women where we need it to be women that are discussing. Even if it's just on a very introductory level, they're talking about inter seasons. They are aware of you know, a couple of weeks out of the month, their energy is a bit more outward, a couple of weeks it's a little bit more inward. The conversation is starting. And at the same time, it can be really easy to be overwhelmed on platforms like Instagram, like whatever, TikTok, et cetera, all of these short bites of this is what you should be doing, this is what you should be doing, cycle syncing, seed cycling. Holly Lamb (12:07.727) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (12:14.331) Hmm. Alyah (12:14.882) cruciferous vegetables when you have your period and avoid coffee don't fast do fast are you 38 no you're menopausal perimenopausal all of this is like blah blah blah blah blah blah it's like where where do I start like where do I start and there's this thing of like I have I have this I have a regular periods I want a quick fix yeah download my app you know and it's like you know the whole thing starts with you first Holly Lamb (12:24.441) Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (12:35.937) Yeah. Holly Lamb (12:43.621) Mm-hmm. Alyah (12:44.416) And it starts with the inner winter. I think that's where you are going to know because there is a physical representation of the winter in your life. Obviously you're bleeding. It's a great place to start because first of all, it's day one of your cycle. So anytime that you want to come and anchor back and you're a bit lost and you don't track, you can always come back to day one of your cycle, day one of your bleed. So there's the physical representation in the blood. Holly Lamb (12:55.973) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (13:10.395) Mm-hmm. Alyah (13:14.338) There's a physical representation in feeling tired or lower energy levels. There's a physical and perhaps mental representation in the desire to perhaps mindfully isolate or retreat away, which can take many forms. It can be, don't want to do this today. It can be a nap. It can be, I just want to lie in bed for an extra hour. It has lots of physical manifestations, but it's a great place to start because you're... Holly Lamb (13:19.835) Mm-hmm. Alyah (13:43.458) For me, one of the pillars and one of the cornerstones of cyclical living, if you don't get everything else right, the inner winter is a place where you can rest. And I think if you start with rest... Holly Lamb (13:54.907) Mm-hmm. Alyah (13:59.362) then you're able to have a foundation of being able to see where the other phases can slot into your sort of landscape. But one thing that's kind of like unanimous amongst all women and wherever they are in their cycle of life, right? Because as we age, the inner winter starts to become something that's not connected to bleeding, but rather than moving into menopause and post-menopause and a different way of living. But that archetype of the wise woman Holly Lamb (14:06.875) Mmm. Holly Lamb (14:26.341) Mm-hmm. Alyah (14:29.366) that sage that sits quietly and has things come to her exists within the inner winter. When you're slower, more intentional. And I think for people that are, that are looking to start to practice MCA, the inner winter is a great place to do it because you're, and we can come onto this and maybe you want to add a bit more about intuition and how you feel more connected to that higher part of you. Holly Lamb (14:35.803) Mmm. Holly Lamb (14:53.243) Mm-hmm. Alyah (14:59.446) when you were bleeding. Holly Lamb (14:59.876) Yeah. Absolutely. And people can banged on about it and like, this is what can happen. And I'm like, okay. Yeah, yeah. I'm not really feeling that, but actually the more you practice it and the more you, like you said, are more intentional and slow down and just listen. it's about, and it's actually, I read a really good book. Well, listen to it called, I am, I create. And basically the book is this woman, Alyah (15:19.257) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (15:29.293) is having a conversation with a higher self and her husband recorded it and they made it into a book. And it's quite amazing, the stuff that comes out, but it was just about slowing down and listening and listening. And it's going to be your voice in your head. You're not going to be like, hear this big booming voice from like somewhere outside of you because it's, it's you, it's your inner guidance. It's your intuition. And you just have to slow down enough. to be able to listen to it. And that's what the inner winter really can help you do. And then this is where the magic can happen and this is where you can feel more connected. And I think especially as, like you said, as we head into different phases of our lives, like menopause, it really gives you a time to clean up all the shit that maybe you've not wanted to deal with before. Alyah (16:14.489) Hmm. Alyah (16:21.049) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (16:22.295) you get to menopause. And that's definitely the case with some of the clients I'm working with who are in perimenopause are starting to really practice menstrual cycle awareness and are seeing those differences now and seeing that stuff come up that maybe they weren't really ready to deal with. But by tapping into their cycle and being able to move with the different energies, they can see how it can really change your perception of it and know that it's okay. Alyah (16:39.129) Mmm. Alyah (16:49.081) Mm. Mmm. Holly Lamb (16:52.251) It's just, yeah, I just think the winter holds so much power within our lives if we're able to tap into it. And I think maybe as a culture, we do avoid the inner winter and the slowness because unfortunately of the world that we live in, the very fast pace, go, go, go, man's world, because like men's hormone cycles are 24 hours where ours are roughly 28 days. Alyah (17:02.169) Mm-hmm. Alyah (17:19.257) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (17:19.619) And we're supposed to put ourselves out there with this energy all the time. And it's just not, it's not going to happen at all. Alyah (17:23.669) Mm. This concept of embodied rest and detaching self-worth from rest, or productivity, excuse me, productivity to self-worth. I today I was in this bubble. So I am on day 24. I have typically between a 27 and a 29 day cycle. Lately, my periods have been... Holly Lamb (17:35.355) Mmm. Holly Lamb (17:52.475) Okay. Alyah (17:54.297) on day 27 to 28, so I'm very close. And the last two days I've woken up feeling very tired. And generally, you know, I like to be up early in the morning. I am a morning person, I enjoy that. I enjoy movement first thing in the morning. And yesterday I was able to get myself on my yoga mat for a practice. And this morning I was not able to do it. Holly Lamb (18:24.378) Mm-hmm. Alyah (18:24.709) And I then have just pottered a little bit. Yesterday, I was really, you know, I get this surge of energy right before my period comes. And that's something that I've recognized through menstrual cycle awareness, because I would feel really tired and then have a burst of energy, like, my period isn't coming for a week. And then I would get my period like three days later. And it's kind of like a gift from Mother Nature to kind of like tidy up all the loose ends before I'm supposed to rest. Holly Lamb (18:47.877) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (18:54.425) Yeah. Alyah (18:54.445) but maybe we can talk about that in an inter-autumn podcast. But right now I'm feeling really the energy's to slow down. so again, being self-employed, I think it's really important to mark the distinction because some women need to get up and go anyway, okay? But this morning I felt, okay, that's something I'm opting into, right? The yoga is something that I opt into for my own health. And today I'm going to half ass it. Holly Lamb (18:57.979) Mm-hmm. Alyah (19:24.249) And I'd much rather rest properly, have like an embodied real rest and rest with intention, intentional rest, rather than go and do something just because it's on my to-do list. Because what's going to happen is that I'm going to go on the mat and do a half-assed job because I'm tired and pushing myself. Then I'm going to come off the mat and not have enough time to rest before, for example, taking a meeting, seeing a client or doing this podcast. Holly Lamb (19:43.674) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (19:52.976) Mm-hmm. Alyah (19:53.911) And I'm not going to do either of those things effectively, thereby kind of completely bypassing myself. So, and in the grand scheme of things, you know, in a couple of days, I'm going to be back on the mat with a different energy level. But right now, this kind of rest is non-negotiable for my wellbeing for the rest of the month. And if I'm thinking two, three days, not full days, you know, you're talking about Holly Lamb (19:56.997) Mm-hmm. Alyah (20:22.499) taking a few hours out here and there, don't underestimate the power of saying no to things, something for a couple of hours. The feedback that you're giving to yourself in that time is that you're prioritizing your regeneration. And I think women would really benefit from saying these things out loud of, can't do this just now. I don't want to do this just now. Holly Lamb (20:34.629) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (20:46.895) Yeah, yeah, that's not so true. Sometimes just verbalizing it and just been like, no, it's not for me today. And I think that would really help a lot of women to be able to really embody the inner winter energy. What kind of insights have you gained from yourself while you... Alyah (20:54.082) Mm-hmm. Alyah (20:57.635) Mm-hmm. Alyah (21:06.073) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (21:15.375) have been able to slow down and really integrate. Alyah (21:17.3) my god, all of them, all of the insights ever. Just like that, like the productivity, one of the biggest ones. I love this because every month it's different. Every time I connect more, like I'll tell you, I'll start with productivity not being linked to my self worth, right? The liberation of saying no, my God. So we used to get invited to somebody's, there somebody that used to invite us around very, very, very often, right? Every weekend. And I really care for this person. Holly Lamb (21:39.056) Yeah. Holly Lamb (21:49.115) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Alyah (21:53.668) really good set of friends. But I would go even when I didn't want to go. It would often be like overnight trips and sometimes we'd go out on the boat and sounds all very glam and lovely, right? It's a lovely, lovely house by the beach. But a couple of years ago, there was a boat trip planned and I really, I would say things like, I can't come cause I've got X, Y, Z. Holly Lamb (22:00.539) Hmm. Alyah (22:20.58) And I got so tired of it and I went, I've got my period and I don't want to be on the boat because I'm hot and I've got a really heavy, I just said it out loud, and these are men by the way, older than me, and I just said, listen, I've got a really heavy period and I don't want to go out on the boat. And it was like the relief that washed over me, so now I don't have to lie anymore, I just have to say I don't want to go on this. Holly Lamb (22:37.723) Mm-hmm. Alyah (22:48.272) don't want to do this thing. So this liberation of saying no started with voicing that I've got my period. And it's almost like people are a wee bit shocked when you say it. It's like, it's the reason I don't want to make up a story that I've got a delivery coming or someone's coming to fix something. It's a lie. Like I'm tired and I want to sleep. There's literally nothing wrong with it. And if you invite me this time next month on the boat, I'm also going to have my kitchen delivered or whatever, because I'm not, it's just stupid. So. Holly Lamb (22:48.549) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (22:57.851) I Holly Lamb (23:04.229) you Alyah (23:15.33) It really helped me to voice when I don't want to do things. And then also, for example, today, and it's an unlearning and a learning at the same time. Like today I was thinking, well, if I'm not going to do yoga, I'd better get around to finishing the website or doing this or whatever. And it was like, listen, it can be paused for a few hours while you just recollect yourself. And this idea, I mean, this is a big learning that's continuing, but this concept of un-linking productivity and self-worth is probably the biggest insight that I continue to learn, that I'm reminded of every month. And then also getting in touch with rituals and perhaps a more deeply dark feminine side around my bleed. that the rest of the month I don't really pay much attention to, things that bring me back to my body, that bring me back to elements, that bring me back to, yeah, really interconnected sensation with the earth through my bleed, a representation of death and birth and life, you if you wanna get a bit esoteric about it. Holly Lamb (24:16.453) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (24:33.989) Mm-hmm. Alyah (24:37.402) Things that happen for me in the inner winter are priceless because it's almost like I see myself as like a tiny grain of sand. And it puts everything into perspective for me. Holly Lamb (24:48.527) Hmm. Yeah, I know what you Alyah (24:50.192) And you know what I mean? And then it's like a big zoom out picture of like, my God, we are so small and the womb is, we're just all living in one big womb and this is all fantastic. And we're just these tiny little contributions to this huge universe. And then of course you zoom right back in again because your energies rise, you start going outward again. But the inner winter is kind of like where I really land within myself and Holly Lamb (24:57.253) Yeah. Alyah (25:20.196) Yeah, really come home to rest, yeah. Holly Lamb (25:22.423) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I've found that as I've got older as well. And obviously with being in early menopause, that brought me back to my like via negativa energy. I prefer been in that energy rather than the outward energy, but that has started to change. It kind of flips from every few months depending on kind of what's going on in my life, but I really do enjoy when I start. Alyah (25:31.344) Thank you. Alyah (25:39.568) Mmm. Holly Lamb (25:50.959) to slow down and head into winter because I know the insights that have come and the connection to self that's gonna happen. And I fucking love it. It's great. That's because I'm learning more about myself and learning what I need, not what anybody else needs, what I need. And I mean, we're quite lucky. Alyah (26:00.469) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm. Holly Lamb (26:15.587) There's me my husband and our dogs, like we don't have kids. I don't have anything like that to worry about. So I do have that time to really slow down and he'll leave me alone if I tell him to, just to be. But I know not every woman's going to have that opportunity. So it's about always doing what can you do? What's the one little thing that you can do? Alyah (26:26.21) and Alyah (26:37.136) It's about that first, right? It's about understanding what am I opting into that realistically I could opt out of for my own well-being. It really needs to start there because every woman's life is different because even if there's going to be some woman out there that goes, well, I've got a dog and a husband, but my list of to-do things is 10 times longer than you and I've not got any kids. Okay, sure. Then there's going to be somebody else that says, absolutely know a way that I can do that. Well, have you tried asking for help and support? Holly Lamb (26:38.811) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (26:44.709) Mm. Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (27:03.673) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Alyah (27:07.46) Because if you think about it, winter time is a time where we can tend to feel quite winter time generally. I'm talking about the seasons. It's this idea of like you're all cooped up at home. There's not a lot of like interaction outside of your little cave. It's not about like summer where you can, if you think about summer, you're thinking, I passed somebody on the street, I'm cheerful, I'm waving, I'm saying hello. When probably that's when you least need it internally, right? Because you've got lots of energy. Holly Lamb (27:16.591) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (27:23.003) Mm. Holly Lamb (27:34.998) Yeah. Alyah (27:36.986) But in the winter time, would it be okay to ask somebody for help in a time where it's already dark and a little bit tough and maybe you're in need of that support? Can you give yourself permission just two, three days out of the month to say, hey, I'm gonna be coming up for a couple of low energy days. Do you mind? That can be as easy as phoning up, I don't know, the mom of your... daughter's friend saying can you do the pick up this week because I'm really I'm really tired or Perhaps just rescheduling like do I really need to be at this thing? Can I be bothered? What would I really like to do and really asking that question to yourself? What is it that I need? today What is it that would truly benefit me today? Holly Lamb (28:28.633) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Alyah (28:32.891) and then making sure that that's implemented in a way that's intentional and not half-assed, for example. If it is rest, then let me prepare myself for that. So if it is just a couple of hours where I can take a break, if I can be in bed reading my book, or if I can take a nap, then let me prepare myself. If I need to send a message to my husband or my boyfriend or my girlfriend or whatever saying like, I'm gonna be offline for the next hour. If there's an emergency, can find me here, but. and then shut the curtains, shut the door, get under your blankets, whatever, and be there. I mean, really be there with yourself. As opposed to thinking rest is going to get my nails done or a glass of wine in Coronation Street. Is that really what rest looks like to you? I'm being serious, it's funny. But there's this concept of, I'm resting because I'm sat here on my phone scrolling. Is it though? Holly Lamb (29:09.381) Hmm. Holly Lamb (29:14.778) Yeah. Holly Lamb (29:28.281) Yeah, no. Alyah (29:29.958) Like no judgement sis, but is it really though? Do you know what I mean? Holly Lamb (29:33.398) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, rest will look different for each woman. I get that. But yeah, has there been a time where you actually do nothing? Like you do nothing. You lay down and you just be with yourself because that can bring up a lot of things that maybe some women aren't ready to face and to deal with that in a voice. But I know for me, it looks like I make sure that, for example, like my content's done because Alyah (29:53.904) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (30:01.947) And I don't want to be doing like showing up, filming, I don't want to be doing that. But also practical things like making sure the food that I've got in is really easy to prepare. Or I've actually cooked some food and it's in the freezer because I can't be arsed to even cook because I love cooking. But when I'm slow and I'm in my winter, I don't always want to just stand up for half an hour and cook. I just want to put it in the oven. Like simple things like that. Alyah (30:06.214) Mm-hmm. Alyah (30:12.678) Mmm. Alyah (30:29.178) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (30:32.077) What's a little shift that you can make that's just gonna make your life easier? A whole lot. Alyah (30:36.812) Mm-hmm. I love that. Earlier this year, I had a group coaching program and I had a wonderful nutritionist, a women's health coach, nutritionist come on and do a session. Her name is Zena Rabra and she's fantastic. And she gave us a tip that I thought was really cool. It's so simple, I can't believe I never thought about it, but she was like, if you know you're going to have cravings, for example, if you know that you reach for... Holly Lamb (30:48.059) Mm. Holly Lamb (31:02.798) Mm-hmm. Alyah (31:04.961) the chocolate or sugary things because we know, right? Because you reach for chocolate because there's a dip in your body. You need more magnesium, you need more calories and your body's searching for like the fastest way to replenish that. So you reach for carbs or chocolate or whatever. And so your body's very clever. And she was saying that why don't you just make sure that you've got something to hand that's going to meet that craving that... Holly Lamb (31:16.485) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (31:31.195) Mm. Alyah (31:31.911) is also good for you. She was talking about just like dates dipped in chocolate for example and just stick them in the freezer so that you've got that thing. Don't deny it to yourself because your body clearly needs it. But just thinking ahead a little bit because one of the things that for me before I started practicing menstrual cycle awareness was almost like my period took me by surprise every month. shit. here it is again. Fuck without any warning. Like. Holly Lamb (31:42.555) Mm-hmm. Alyah (32:00.726) can't be bothered today and I've said yes to this and there's no food in the house and I've got to catch a plane. Like no, you knew this. You just made no allowances for it. And I think that if we just kind of not only track the days that we bleed but that's why tracking your energy levels is just so important. And... Holly Lamb (32:07.195) you Holly Lamb (32:23.269) Hmm. Alyah (32:26.913) deeper than tracking them, knowing when they need to be replenished because like anything your energy needs to be replenished. When you are hungry you eat, when you are tired you sleep, and when you bleed you rest. It's such simple science, you know? Holly Lamb (32:44.015) Do you know what, I don't know if you've seen it because you're in Q8, but there's a new advert for pads. I think it's always, it's avoid those gush moments. it's taken me by surprise that I've come on my period. And I was just like, what? I was just like. Alyah (33:03.201) That's made by Aman, that's made by Aman, clearly. Holly Lamb (33:05.531) I'm I'm surprised. I'm at work. This has happened. and I'm just like, really? We're still doing this. We're still doing the advertising that are promoting these products like this. was just like, for fuck's sake. Alyah (33:21.062) I tell you that's some ad agency man sat there and he's going, yeah, well, loads of birds cancel on me and tell me that they've just come on and can't come out, so it must be real. Holly Lamb (33:33.467) That's probably exactly what happened. I was just like, really? I mean, they've only just started using red food colouring now as blood. It to be blue. Alyah (33:33.499) I'll be ready. Yeah. Alyah (33:43.281) Yeah, as opposed to the- you mean the period blood isn't blue and like a jelly? I never knew that. I never knew that. My dear ridiculous- Holly Lamb (33:48.123) I know. It's insane. It's insane. But that's just as bad. that, that, that advert is just as bad. Like, we're all surprised that it's, that it's happened again, again. it's like for fuck's sake. Alyah (34:00.529) and it's bright red as well, it won't look like actual period blood. Holly Lamb (34:04.963) No, no, it's just a bit of empty, I think. But yeah, we're. Alyah (34:09.407) It's just ridiculous. But yeah, mean, there's this idea that it just kind of takes us by surprise and we're not prepared for it. And the inner winter, I mean, if you want to start to practice menstrual cycle awareness, again, inner winter is a great place to begin your journey and begin your practice because apart from, like we talked about, the physical representations of your bleed, you're also having your... Holly Lamb (34:17.659) I know. Holly Lamb (34:25.893) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (34:33.979) Mm-hmm. Alyah (34:38.426) mental and physical representations of your bleed and your energy levels. And then hormonally what is happening is your estrogen, your progesterone are at their lowest that they are within the whole cycle. And if we think of estrogen, which is at its peak when you're ovulating, when your body is, you know, subconsciously trying to get you pregnant and the way that will manifest itself as will make you more diplomatic, more patient, more energetic, more sociable. And then if you think about this estrogen as the connecting hormone, the outward hormone, then you have progesterone, which is coming into play in your luteal phase. That's rising and it's bringing you home as the estrogen is also dipping. So you've got this inward reflection and that can manifest itself in some ways that some shadows might come up or you might feel a little bit more irritable. Holly Lamb (35:19.311) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (35:24.155) Mm-hmm. Alyah (35:31.899) or you might feel a little bit more like you need some tender loving care. But both of those hormones will drop completely when you're bleeding and just before you're bleeding. And so you're left without really wanting to connect with the inside world, the outside world, excuse me, and that all the inward stuff, all the stuff that you're exploring, which will come to you in the inner autumn, all that inner exploration also naturally kind of comes to a tail end. Holly Lamb (35:39.899) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (35:55.653) Mm-hmm. Alyah (36:00.784) And so you're left with just you without any of the internal or external noise. And suddenly we're like, my gosh, you know when I have my period, sometimes I get these thoughts. And when I have my period, sometimes I get a lot of clarity and I'm like, yeah, because your body is this, we call it intuition. And there's a scientific reason behind it because you're not being distracted by all this outward inward stuff that's happening. Holly Lamb (36:00.795) Mm-hmm. Alyah (36:28.036) And if you take the time to rest, that those messages from within you, that voice from within you has space to expand. And when you listen, she's your wisest, most helpful guide. Holly Lamb (36:40.047) Yeah, 100%. And it's just been able to slow enough to tap into that. That's why we talk about bloody rest in the middle of bloody winter. So experience that because it's brilliant and it's beautiful. And yeah, I just, it's one of, like I said, the second half of my cycle is definitely where I feel more at home as I've transitioned into. Alyah (36:42.03) Right? Alyah (36:46.48) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (37:08.995) early menopause. But you can still experience all of this even if you're in your 20s. Alyah (37:15.64) Yeah, 100%. 100%. 100%. There's no right or wrong age to begin cycle awareness because women don't stop being cyclical. Menstruating or not, you don't stop being cyclical. And we know this, we can come into that in another podcast. that needs like a totally separate discussion to really dive into that. But Holly Lamb (37:17.423) whatever age you are. Holly Lamb (37:28.067) No, exactly. Yeah. No. Holly Lamb (37:40.443) Mm. Alyah (37:42.529) I think for women that are looking for somewhere to start, okay, you're talking about embodied rest, you're talking about intentional rest. And what does that look like? What does that actually, what could that look like? If I was looking for some guidance and I was somebody that I'm interested in that, I'm looking to deepen my connection to my cycle, to my womb, to myself, what does it really look like then for me if I want to have this intentional connection to my inner winter? Holly Lamb (38:08.069) Hmm. Holly Lamb (38:12.699) Mm. Alyah (38:13.835) And to that I would offer like a very simple practice that really supported me and supports the other women that I work with, my clients, women that are exploring their womb space, the intangible womb, right, that we become aware of when we're bleeding. And it's a very simple practice that simply is that when you feel that need to stop and slow down, take yourself to a quiet space. you know, your bed or maybe you want to lie down on your yoga mat, make sure that you're feeling cozy. And it doesn't need candles and incense and I mean, that's wonderful. And if you want to do that by all means, because I think that setting the tone in this time, absolutely, I'm 100 % for it. But if you just don't have the time or you don't have that accessibility, lie down on your bed, place your hands over your womb, which is just let's... Holly Lamb (38:59.482) Mm-hmm. Alyah (39:10.953) say under your belly button area, perhaps put your hands just over there. You could make a triangle with your two thumbs and your two index fingers and lie there just for a few moments, close your eyes and begin to breathe just slowly and gently and become aware of what's happening within that womb space. Alyah (39:37.865) and visualize it. if you're visualizing it during the day of your bleed or just before your visualize what's happening within you. Just connect to that for a moment. And I'm pretty sure that you'll feel, not want to say overwhelmed, but there will be a sensation of wow, there's a lot happening within me as I'm becoming aware of it. And understanding that your body is doing a lot will help you connect to, it is doing a lot, I understand, I have compassion for my body. I can rest, I can take this time out. And you're able to do this kind of exercise any time of the month, of course, it's just. Holly Lamb (40:00.411) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (40:10.49) Mm-hmm. Holly Lamb (40:14.309) Yeah. Alyah (40:19.156) The connection is a lot more tangible while you're bleeding because obviously you know you might have some discomfort or you might feel a little bit tired so it's easier to connect then to the mental state of okay I want to explore this space. If you can just visualize all of the effort that your body is going through to purify and cleanse you, will help you have compassion to allow it to rest. Holly Lamb (40:41.755) Yeah. And that's, I love that. That's so beautiful. One of my clients does that and she actually talks to her, her womb when she's bleeding as well, because she gets quite heavy periods. So she, she talks to her, just gives her love and gives her compassion. And yeah, that's, that's so beautiful. If that's the one thing you take away from this, I would absolutely give that a go. Well, this has been fabulous as always. Alyah (40:51.124) Mmm. Alyah (40:55.573) Mm. Mm-hmm. Alyah (41:05.215) Mmm. Mmm. Holly Lamb (41:11.291) I think we've really covered a lot in this in the winter, like how it's done and what it's all about. Alyah (41:14.545) Yeah, there's like, I could talk about this forever. feel like it's, yeah, it's my favourite. And I'm glad that, because we had planned this a week ago, I think, and then we missed it. No, we actually planned it more than that. So it's come at the right time. Holly Lamb (41:24.891) Mmm Yeah, yeah, yeah. it always, in divine timing, always. But yeah, as I said, this is going to be four-parter. So this is in a winter. The next one will be in a spring, which I'm excited for. Maybe wait until we're back in that energy. Yeah. Yeah. Although we're not quite in sync, but we'll make it work. Alyah (41:33.041) Divine Tarnishing, always, always. Alyah (41:48.142) Yeah, catch me up in 12 days. Alyah (41:57.544) We'll figure it out. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We'll catch up on that in our spring. It's so fleeting for me. It's a quick one for me. Yeah. Holly Lamb (41:58.864) Yeah. Holly Lamb (42:02.799) Mmm. Is it? I quite enjoy it now more than I did. again, well, save it. We'll start talking about spring then. Well, thank you so much for joining me, Aliyah. Yeah, we'll see you all guys next time for Inner Spring. Thank you so much. Alyah (42:19.569) My pleasure. Alyah (42:26.097) Thank you so much.